Funniest quotes from kids!

[DropIt]

Originally Posted by CaptainCrunch

Shouldn't you have your kids out working in the backyard, and hauling garbage out to the dump, it sounds like they have way too much time on their hands if they're thinking up these clever quips.

the sooner that you people get around to breaking their resolve the better our future labor pool looks.

My son was out scything the field. After 15 hours of work he came in and told me when he was old enough, he would rip out my jugular with said Scythe.

... 4 year olds

[yads]

My 2.5 year old daughter lying in bed with my wife and me, saturday morning. "I have little boobies and mommy has BIIIG boobies"

Originally Posted by yads

My 2.5 year old daughter lying in bed with my wife and me, saturday morning. "I have little boobies and mommy has BIIIG boobies"

Pics or it didn't happen.

Edit: What am I saying? I've been hanging around you guys too long.

[Ironhorse]

My 4 year old was with me in the car once while we were in bad stop and go traffic. The driver in front of us was one of those tardy types that needs 10 meters of space before moving. My boy finally blurts out from the back "Come on lady, MOVE IT!"

[CaptainCrunch]

Originally Posted by Puxlut

Pics or it didn't happen.

Edit: What am I saying? I've been hanging around you guys too long.

Congrats you've won the award for longest awkward silence.

[schteve_d]

Many moons ago when I was thirteen or so I was over at my buddy's watching a James Bond movie with him and his little brother who if I remember right would have been about 8.

Bond starts making out with a women and the little brother blurts out: "Awwwwww, don't make my dick go hard".

My buddy and I nearly killed ourselves laughing and still bug him to this day!

Originally Posted by CaptainCrunch

Congrats you've won the award for longest awkward silence.

Oh shut up. I'm sure when you read it, you were curious as to exactly how big mommies boobies were. I was just the voice of what everyone was thinking.

[freedogger]

Daughter at 14 months. We had her in a sling and she was facing out to the side of us as we were walking down the street in the Waterton townsite. All of a sudden she starts saying very loudly "ohhh ohhh ohhh ohhh" like a baboon and wouldn't stop. It was just like the sound she made at the elephants at the zoo earlier that week when they walked right up to us.

We look over and there were three grossly obese Americans. Must have been 350 to 400lbs each. First time she ever saw anyone that large and it was pretty exciting I guess. Talk about awkward...

[stang]

Proud father moment... When my daughter was 3 or 4 and we were driving into town (acerage) she tell me "Dad my favorite songs are, Twinkle twinkle, Old Macdonald, and Sweet Child O Mine"

[pylon]

nm... beaten

[dissentowner]

My 6 year old son apparently said this to his teacher today who happens to be smoking hot.

Teacher: Damian, can you name a shape that starts with Tri?
Damian: A tripenis.

[snootchiebootchies]

My family and I were on a road trip in BC and this conversation took place in a pedestrian tunnel with pretty strong echo effects:

Me: (Shouting) ECHO! ECHO!

My 5 year old daughter: (Shouting) ECHO! ECHO!

My 3 year old son: What are you doing? What is echo?

My 5 year old daughter: You can talk to an echo. When you talk to an echo, it will talk back to you.

My 3 year old son: (Nods in understanding and then shouts) WHAT IS YOUR NAME?

[calf]

Doing the wheels on the bus with my 2 year old:
Me: what do the babies say?
2YO: wah wah wah!
M: and the dad's?
2YO: wah wah wah!
Me: (thinking let's roll with this and turn it into a valuable learning experience)...and what do the Oilers on the bus say?
2YO: Beep beep beep!


...he'll get there

[Galakanokis]

I took my kids to the Southland leisure center when I was in town over Christmas. I had my daughter in a life jacket that was a little to small as supplies were limited with what appeared to be every daycare on the south side there. After a while I noticed that she had taken the bottom, through the legs strap off. I asked her, Livy, do you want me to do up the strap between your legs again. She responded, no thanks dad, it hurts my nuts.

[savemedrzaius]

So basically "Funniest quotes from kids" is your kids parroting something they heard you say.

[OMG!WTF!]

I was at my friends' race horse ranch this spring when they had two new foals. Cutest little things ever. So we were all sitting around trying to figure out good and worthy names for these potential 2019 derby winners. We looked through the blood lines picking the noblest sires and the highest dames to combine with our farm name and racing tradition. There was talk of Bold Rullah, Northern Tsar. Nijinsky III. Their four year old boy stopped by the table and said "Let's call em Pete". So as a long shot in 2019 go with "Call Me Pete" for a $2 win place show.

[manwiches]

3 year old son

Son (singing in the car)- "Little bunny foo foo, walking through the forest...."
Son - "Mom, dad?"
Us - "Yes?"
Son - "Why is little bunny called 'Foo Foo'?"
Us - "umm... I'm not sure"
Son - "Oh I know! It's because he's Chinese!"

FTR - We are Chinese.

[pseudoreality]

Originally Posted by savemedrzaius

So basically "Funniest quotes from kids" is your kids parroting something they heard you say.

It is for me. Last year on a cold morning on the way to work the body of the jeep started making the noises and my two-year-old daughter asked me if someone was knocking. I told her no, that it was thermal contraction. She responded with, "Yeah, that's just thermal contraction." Hearing my two-year-old talk that way when her four-year-old cousin can barely string together three basic words is pretty funny.

Now she's a snotty three-year-old and says things like, "We got any orange juice in here?"

[albertGQ]

Last Tuesday when it was very windy, I told my six year old that he was lucky that we have a house to live in and stay warm from the cold and wind. He agreed with me and said "If I was outside with no clothes and I only had one penny, and one Pokemon card, I'd be so cold"

[bc-chris]

my 4 year old daughter was soooooooooo pumped for halloween today

driving home this afternoon i hear this from the back of the truck...

so daddy, tonight when i'm out trick or treating kids will be coming to our house and some might be dressed as ghosts so you need to be brave and not scared!

ha - awesome!