03-31-2025, 10:08 PM
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#4921
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Not a casual user
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: A simple man leading a complicated life....
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fotze2
Someone is just destroying our left crapper at work. Fataing green stains everywhere today.
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Light a match and toss it in the crapper. That should clean things up!
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03-31-2025, 11:01 PM
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#4922
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Lifetime Suspension
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My manager used to come in dump a #### load of cream in his coffee and slowly head on down to our single bathroom and do a number.
#### stains left in places that I never knew it could reach. Our flush was like some wild ultra flush as well. No one believed us until one day I opened the toilet to the horror of the women. No one could look at him the same anymore.
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04-01-2025, 02:22 PM
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#4923
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Powerplay Quarterback
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Paulie Walnuts
My manager used to come in dump a #### load of cream in his coffee and slowly head on down to our single bathroom and do a number.
#### stains left in places that I never knew it could reach. Our flush was like some wild ultra flush as well. No one believed us until one day I opened the toilet to the horror of the women. No one could look at him the same anymore.
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I have to avoid this $h1tty thread.
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04-05-2025, 10:29 AM
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#4924
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Not Taylor
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Calgary SW
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Why are tariffs always "slapped on"?
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"We are no longer living. We are empty of substance, and our head devours us. Our ancestors were more alive. Nothing separated them from themselves."
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04-05-2025, 08:08 PM
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#4925
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Income Tax Central
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So...this kid comes into my office with his parents, they're here to get their taxes done...but I know this child. He is a Monster!*
He killed my High Score on my Star Wars ATARI game last year. It took me a while to get that back.
But this child was hell-bent on vengeance. You could see the pure malice in his eyes. I knew what he was up to. He had woken up this morning and chosen violence.
The little bastard once again beat my high score. I have to admit, the damned kid is good. He's got 'ATARI game' and a bit of a lip on him for 12 years old, as one might expect from a filthy Arsenal fan.
And then...and THEN! His parents had the absolute gall to ask me to help Coach his soccer team!! Can you imagine??
I might take them up on it just so that I can legally and routinely be mean to him.
"No one told you to stop running!"
You may defeat me at ATARI Star Wars ya little punk but you're not going to beat me at soccer! Keep it up and someone is going to be playing goalie...
And next year there will probably be a Star Wars and Arsenal 'Premium' on your parents' Tax Bill....
*Child is not actually a monster, despite being an Arsenal fan he's a pretty cool kid.
__________________
The Beatings Shall Continue Until Morale Improves!
This Post Has Been Distilled for the Eradication of Seemingly Incurable Sadness.
The World Ends when you're dead. Until then, you've got more punishment in store. - Flames Fans
If you thought this season would have a happy ending, you haven't been paying attention.
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04-06-2025, 12:48 AM
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#4926
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Not a casual user
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: A simple man leading a complicated life....
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So i'm in Sally's bar in High River Friday night and I do a karaoke version of a song by The Sweet, Ballroom Blitz. About 15 minutes later a fight breaks out inside the bar and a guy is knocked out.
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04-06-2025, 08:32 AM
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#4927
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Monster Storm
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Calgary
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Who was the passionate one?
__________________
Shameless self promotion
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The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to surferguy For This Useful Post:
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04-06-2025, 10:55 AM
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#4928
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Powerplay Quarterback
Join Date: Jan 2021
Location: On the cusp
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dion
So i'm in Sally's bar in High River Friday night and I do a karaoke version of a song by The Sweet, Ballroom Blitz. About 15 minutes later a fight breaks out inside the bar and a guy is knocked out.
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Two minutes for instigating.
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04-08-2025, 08:54 PM
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#4929
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Not a casual user
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: A simple man leading a complicated life....
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I remember using these back in Junior High. Shooting your buddy or some classmate with water when the teacher wasn't looking. Sadly we would all get caught and have them taken away. I swear that by the end of the school year, the teacher had a desk drawer full of confiscated water pistols. Yes i'm old as #### 
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04-09-2025, 06:43 PM
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#4930
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: back in the 403
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sainters7
I usually ask for gift cards for Christmas / birthdays, but I'm so bad for forgetting to use them and they pile up on me.
Finally used a Best Buy GC (with no amount written on the card) for a new PS5 game. I wish I could remember who gave me that, because who the heck got me a $10 Best Buy GC for Christmas lol...more just amusing.
Unless it's for a coffee place, I feel like gift cards at bare minimum should be $20 if not $25, no? I need to figure out who it was, so i can jokingly get them $10 worth of gift cards next Christmas, spread out for $2.50 each at various stores they like.
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Update on this: went deeper into my pile o' gift cards looking for a Tim Horton's one I remember getting. I just noticed it's for $100, lol. A $100 GC for Timmy's may even be wilder than a $10 one for Best Buy. I've got some interesting people in my life..
Last edited by Sainters7; 04-10-2025 at 10:12 PM.
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04-09-2025, 07:22 PM
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#4931
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Income Tax Central
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sainters7
Update on this: went deeper into my pile o' gift cards looking for a Tim Horton's one I rememer getting, I just noticed it's for $100, lol. A $100 GC for Timmy's may even be wilder than a $10 one for Best Buy. I've got some interesting people in my life..
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Lol! Hahaha!! What're you going to do with that? Fill your tub with Double-Doubles and bathe in it???
Presumably while watching a 'scratch and dent' discount bin DVD from Best Buy?
"Uh....what're you doing?"
"I'm bathing in coffee and watching Air Bud and I dont want to talk about it!"
__________________
The Beatings Shall Continue Until Morale Improves!
This Post Has Been Distilled for the Eradication of Seemingly Incurable Sadness.
The World Ends when you're dead. Until then, you've got more punishment in store. - Flames Fans
If you thought this season would have a happy ending, you haven't been paying attention.
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04-09-2025, 07:31 PM
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#4932
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Park Hyatt Tokyo
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Uggh, it was my birthday earlier this month. Open birthday card from my wife. Tim card. Open birthday card from my mother in-law. Tim card. Open birthday card from my parents. Tim card.
Open my app this morning to check my balance, from all the last gift cards given and it was well over $50 already.
Sorry Sainters. I’m giving you a Tim card for your birthday.
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The Following User Says Thank You to topfiverecords For This Useful Post:
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04-09-2025, 08:29 PM
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#4933
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Powerplay Quarterback
Join Date: Jan 2021
Location: On the cusp
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Quote:
Originally Posted by topfiverecords
Uggh, it was my birthday earlier this month. Open birthday card from my wife. Tim card. Open birthday card from my mother in-law. Tim card. Open birthday card from my parents. Tim card.
Open my app this morning to check my balance, from all the last gift cards given and it was well over $50 already.
Sorry Sainters. I’m giving you a Tim card for your birthday.
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We should all buy S7 one. They could have hundreds, all for $1.00. 
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04-10-2025, 12:52 AM
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#4934
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Franchise Player
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Quote:
Originally Posted by topfiverecords
Uggh, it was my birthday earlier this month. Open birthday card from my wife. Tim card. Open birthday card from my mother in-law. Tim card. Open birthday card from my parents. Tim card.
Open my app this morning to check my balance, from all the last gift cards given and it was well over $50 already.
Sorry Sainters. I’m giving you a Tim card for your birthday.
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Is your name Tim?
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04-10-2025, 09:15 AM
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#4935
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Park Hyatt Tokyo
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DoubleF
Is your name Tim?
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Can you believe I only scored 115 goals in the NHL?
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04-10-2025, 11:24 AM
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#4936
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: back in the 403
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Locke
Lol! Hahaha!! What're you going to do with that? Fill your tub with Double-Doubles and bathe in it???
Presumably while watching a 'scratch and dent' discount bin DVD from Best Buy?
"Uh....what're you doing?"
"I'm bathing in coffee and watching Air Bud and I dont want to talk about it!"
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Based on the turkey bacon classic yesterday that I used it on (never had one before, I'm on board), I may just smash another $92 worth of those. Or I'm just the CP coffee Santa for a week or two. I'm a team player.
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The Following User Says Thank You to Sainters7 For This Useful Post:
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04-10-2025, 12:19 PM
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#4937
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Income Tax Central
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sainters7
Based on the turkey bacon classic yesterday that I used it on (never had one before, I'm on board), I may just smash another $92 worth of those. Or I'm just the CP coffee Santa for a week or two. I'm a team player.
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Look at you crushing sandos!
__________________
The Beatings Shall Continue Until Morale Improves!
This Post Has Been Distilled for the Eradication of Seemingly Incurable Sadness.
The World Ends when you're dead. Until then, you've got more punishment in store. - Flames Fans
If you thought this season would have a happy ending, you haven't been paying attention.
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04-10-2025, 01:28 PM
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#4938
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: back in the 403
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Quote:
Originally Posted by topfiverecords
Sorry Sainters. I’m giving you a Tim card for your birthday.
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That's fair. Please note, I only accept tiny gift card amounts to expensive stores, or a bizarrely large sum to a place where the average item is $2.50. Choose wisely.
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04-10-2025, 01:36 PM
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#4939
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Pent-up
Join Date: Mar 2018
Location: Plutanamo Bay.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sainters7
That's fair. Please note, I only accept tiny gift card amounts to expensive stores, or a bizarrely large sum to a place where the average item is $2.50. Choose wisely.
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$5 to Long and McQuade it is.
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04-10-2025, 02:12 PM
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#4940
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Income Tax Central
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sainters7
That's fair. Please note, I only accept tiny gift card amounts to expensive stores, or a bizarrely large sum to a place where the average item is $2.50. Choose wisely.
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$2.50 to Spence Diamonds.
__________________
The Beatings Shall Continue Until Morale Improves!
This Post Has Been Distilled for the Eradication of Seemingly Incurable Sadness.
The World Ends when you're dead. Until then, you've got more punishment in store. - Flames Fans
If you thought this season would have a happy ending, you haven't been paying attention.
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