Star Trek General Discussion

[Bring_Back_Shantz]

I mean, the Kim that got home with Voyager wasn't even the Kim they started with.
That guy died in Season 2.
You expect them to just give alternate Kim credit for everything Kim Prime did? No, he's gotta start from the bottom just like everyone else. So that right there knocks at least 2 years off his promotion timeline.

[Yeah_Baby]

Originally Posted by Bring_Back_Shantz

I mean, the Kim that got home with Voyager wasn't even the Kim they started with.
That guy died in Season 2.
You expect them to just give alternate Kim credit for everything Kim Prime did? No, he's gotta start from the bottom just like everyone else. So that right there knocks at least 2 years off his promotion timeline.

I always forget about that.

Classic Trek, they just never mention it again.

[CaptainCrunch]

How many crew members do you think fantasized about getting Kim on an Away mission by himself and then firing photon torpedo after photon torpedo at his landing site until they were out of torpedos and then firing phasers until the batteries were dry.


Kim was the Wesley Crusher of the Voyager universe.

[Locke]

Originally Posted by Ped

Even alternate-universe useless Picard when Q let him try things again, reached Lieutenant.

Not a good Lieutenant though, and I really enjoyed Riker being a jerk to him.

Originally Posted by Bring_Back_Shantz

I mean, the Kim that got home with Voyager wasn't even the Kim they started with.
That guy died in Season 2.
You expect them to just give alternate Kim credit for everything Kim Prime did? No, he's gotta start from the bottom just like everyone else. So that right there knocks at least 2 years off his promotion timeline.

Outranked by Tuvix no less...thats gotta sting.

You can just imagine some Admiral going through Janeway's log when they got back:

"Captain's Log, Stardate...who knows? Kim was being a dick again about not getting promoted! Like I'm going to promote some pseudo-human freak!

To this end he has been assigned Airlock mopping duty and we're all praying for an unexpected airlock malfunction...here is hoping. I see that flashing button on my Captain's chair and must admit that the temptation to hit it is often unbearably overwhelming. Kim will never know how thinly I allow him to cling on to his miserable existence.

Maybe tomorrow.

He doesn't know it but we all watch him mopping on the main viewer while that accursed button to vent the airlock just blinks at me maddeningly. We've thought of starting a pool. B'Elanna thought of booby-trapping one of the floor panels to automatically vent the airlock when he mops over it but Paris thought that would be cheating and Chakotay thinks the entire ordeal to be barbaric.

But screw that guy. In a civilized quadrant he's a War Criminal anyways and either way he's just no fun. His Spirit Animal has weighed in and thinks its hilarious. He's even in the pool.

Tuvok couldn't care less. Vent him, dont vent him, Tuvok DGAF either way. Accursed Vulcans.

And if the replicator gives me tea when I order coffee one more time, just one more goddamned time, I'm going to pour it out over Kim's head. God I hate that guy. I even asked Seven to assimilate him one time and she straight up refused saying that he was 'unworthy of the collective.' Even the damned Borg wont take him!

I keep giving him more and more dangerous missions but its like the guy is indestructible! Its the strangest mixture of incompetent but unkillable. The only conceivable proposition where I'd even consider promoting him is so that I can send him on away missions in a Red shirt.

Neelix even tried poisoning him but the poison is indistinguishable from Neelix's regular cooking and we've all apparently become immune to most toxins.

I've even promoted people who range from completely useless bastards to straight up criminals just to stick it to Kim but he just keeps going along. He's like a goddamned goldfish! I want to stick him in a torpedo and shoot him at the Kazon! They'd probably just send him back. Plus that may or may not be considered a War Crime.

Maybe tomorrow. Damn I hate that guy.

End of Log."

*Cut to Admiral Paris nodding in agreement*

Originally Posted by Yeah_Baby

I always forget about that.

Classic Trek, they just never mention it again.

Classic.

"Well...that crazy #### happened. Moving on!"

[Blaster86]

Originally Posted by Locke

Not a good Lieutenant though, and I really enjoyed Riker being a jerk to him.

1st Officers job. I wonder if when Picard came back to his real life he shat on Riker for a few weeks for that.

[Locke]

Originally Posted by Blaster86

1st Officers job. I wonder if when Picard came back to his real life he shat on Riker for a few weeks for that.

"Why are you handing me a mop sir?"

- "Holodeck duty #1...."

[Locke]

Star Trek's Garrett Wang Gets Candid About Harry Never Receiving A Promotion On Voyager, And Revealed The Wild Plea He Made With Kate Mulgrew Outside Her Trailer

https://www.cinemablend.com/intervie...e-kate-mulgrew

I was miffed for a very long time. I was miffed for a very, very long time. I remember knocking on Kate Mulgrew's trailer door, pleading to the actress playing the captain to promote me. I said, ‘This is ridiculous. I haven't been promoted yet. I've done all these things for the crew. I've helped save the day a few times.’ And Kate was like, ‘I know, I know.’ So she was sympathetic, but silly me, I was so desperate. I went to the actress playing the role of captain to try to get promoted. And so yeah, I was miffed in the beginning.

[CaptainCrunch]

Originally Posted by Locke

Not a good Lieutenant though, and I really enjoyed Riker being a jerk to him.



Outranked by Tuvix no less...thats gotta sting.

You can just imagine some Admiral going through Janeway's log when they got back:

"Captain's Log, Stardate...who knows? Kim was being a dick again about not getting promoted! Like I'm going to promote some pseudo-human freak!

To this end he has been assigned Airlock mopping duty and we're all praying for an unexpected airlock malfunction...here is hoping. I see that flashing button on my Captain's chair and must admit that the temptation to hit it is often unbearably overwhelming. Kim will never know how thinly I allow him to cling on to his miserable existence.

Maybe tomorrow.

He doesn't know it but we all watch him mopping on the main viewer while that accursed button to vent the airlock just blinks at me maddeningly. We've thought of starting a pool. B'Elanna thought of booby-trapping one of the floor panels to automatically vent the airlock when he mops over it but Paris thought that would be cheating and Chakotay thinks the entire ordeal to be barbaric.

But screw that guy. In a civilized quadrant he's a War Criminal anyways and either way he's just no fun. His Spirit Animal has weighed in and thinks its hilarious. He's even in the pool.

Tuvok couldn't care less. Vent him, dont vent him, Tuvok DGAF either way. Accursed Vulcans.

And if the replicator gives me tea when I order coffee one more time, just one more goddamned time, I'm going to pour it out over Kim's head. God I hate that guy. I even asked Seven to assimilate him one time and she straight up refused saying that he was 'unworthy of the collective.' Even the damned Borg wont take him!

I keep giving him more and more dangerous missions but its like the guy is indestructible! Its the strangest mixture of incompetent but unkillable. The only conceivable proposition where I'd even consider promoting him is so that I can send him on away missions in a Red shirt.

Neelix even tried poisoning him but the poison is indistinguishable from Neelix's regular cooking and we've all apparently become immune to most toxins.

I've even promoted people who range from completely useless bastards to straight up criminals just to stick it to Kim but he just keeps going along. He's like a goddamned goldfish! I want to stick him in a torpedo and shoot him at the Kazon! They'd probably just send him back. Plus that may or may not be considered a War Crime.

Maybe tomorrow. Damn I hate that guy.

End of Log."

*Cut to Admiral Paris nodding in agreement*



Classic.

"Well...that crazy #### happened. Moving on!"

Some one needs to write a book of Captain's logs, from Kirks, to Janeways to Sisko's and all the other captains. Detailing the logs that we don't hear. When they're not in the middle of a crisis. The one you wrote is brilliant.


Just thing of it






Captain's log supplemental, Captain Jean Luc Picards personal notes Star Date whatever


Taco Tuesday again, I swear to god, the replicator can't make a good taco. And the things it does to me, Last week I decided to skip the taco's and order a salad, and it ended up tasting like a taco, and I ruined a perfectly good uniform. And clearly the idiots who designed these skin tight uniforms have never had an unexpected warp core ejection happening.



I went to Doctor Crusher about my intestinal problems and she wanted to give me a prostate exam, and claimed that Barry White music would relax me.



Riker showed up for a briefing and bragged about bagging an ensign who works in astrophysics. It makes me wonder why we don't have an HR department on Federation ships.



Beverly approached me and asked me to take a more active role in Wesley's life, that he needed a male influence in his life, I hate that kid, if I could shove him into the matter antimatter intermix chamber I'm sure most of the crew would look the other way.



I checked my appointment tomorrow, I have to have a meeting with Geordie around his misuse of the holodeck, suppossedly he got caught in a hologram entanglement with Leah Brahms and the hologram filed a sexual harrasment claim against him.


Oh god that Taco is hitting me hard, I need to go and eject the warp core."


Captain's log supplemental Captain Kirk Commanding.



Bones asked me to order up another crate of space herpes cure, supposedly I've had a real run on needing those shots. I found out that the crew is betting on the red shirt brigades surviving away missions. We beamed a team down to Risa to get me some updated space porn, and 3 of them managed to die. "


Captains Log Jonathan Archer commanding.



Bored Bored Bored Bored, I had to deliver a Q+A to a bunch of kids, and I told them that everything we wear and eat is made out of human waste. , our boots, our steaks, our underwear, all started as human poop.



Someone thought it would be hilarious to use the new transporter to beam a red shirt from one end of the ship to the other. Have you ever seen a person turned inside out?"


Captain's Log Captain Janeway reporting.



Great another Ensign Kim complaint, this time he complained that 7 of 9 came onto him and made him feel uncomfortable. Really, just another reason to not promote that loser. Somehow Lt Barclay found a way to project his hologram to the ship from the Alpha Quadrant. A ship with Barclay and Kim. I'm staring longingly at my phaser, nobody would know."

[Locke]

"Sorry Ensign Kim but we're out of pips. You're going to have to wait until we get back to Earth."

- "But, but...you just promoted Boffo to Lieutenant Commander and he's a literal clown!! His shoes are so big they literally have to be transported separately on away missions!! He almost got us all killed that time when he honked his nose on a stealth mission!"

"Yeah, well, he used up the last of the pips."

*Says Janeway while staring at a drawer filled to the brim with pips*

[Locke]

I had a client hand me a form for their investments for the fees they paid.

Marked: Veridian Fee

To which I immediately thought..."why are you paying Veridian Three? Enterprise saucer section Storage/Rent?"

And now I know that Star Trek has ruined my brain.

[Yeah_Baby]

Originally Posted by Locke

I had a client hand me a form for their investments for the fees they paid.

Marked: Veridian Fee

To which I immediately thought..."why are you paying Veridian Three? Enterprise saucer section Storage/Rent?"

And now I know that Star Trek has ruined my brain.

they must have paid for it's removal and shipping to the Starfleet Museum.

[Locke]

Originally Posted by Yeah_Baby

they must have paid for it's removal and shipping to the Starfleet Museum.

They could have made a movie about that and it would have been better than 'Section 31.'

Just dudes working to remove a saucer section from some planet's forest while muttering under their breath..."We told you to stop letting Riker drive!!"

[Yeah_Baby]

Originally Posted by Locke

They could have made a movie about that and it would have been better than 'Section 31.'

Just dudes working to remove a saucer section from some planet's forest while muttering under their breath..."We told you to stop letting Riker drive!!"

Spoiler!

[Sr. Mints]

I've got two movies in my Star Trek movie marathon to go . . . . . . Nemesis and Section 31!

I haven't seen the later yet, but I hear it's pretty terrific.

[Locke]

Originally Posted by Sr. Mints

I've got two movies in my Star Trek movie marathon to go . . . . . . Nemesis and Section 31!

I haven't seen the later yet, but I hear it's pretty terrific.

How much alcohol do you have available? Maybe psychedelics? Because you are in for a ride one way or another.

[Shazam]

New reboot!

[Locke]

Originally Posted by Shazam

New reboot!

And I'd watch the hell out of that!

[Monahammer]

SNW begins July 17th!!

[Blaster86]

Prodigy cancelled again.


Had to suffer through six seasons of Discovery, but can't get a fun kid's show to season three.

[Locke]

Flautists hate it!