When to visit friend with newborn baby

[Prototype]

I wouldn't wait for an invite, but I would wait a tad before stopping by.

We had our second son in September, there's no way we were calling people to schedule them to come see him. But, if we got a call, we were more than happy to invite people over.

I'd give it a week or two.

[burn_this_city]

Originally Posted by MrMastodonFarm

First time parents are for sure going to be picky, hand sanitizer on the ready for sure.

My favourite are the veteren parents of 3-4 kids, who have a good chuckle when the child falls down instead of calling 911.

I hate the hand sanitizer fanatics, frig the kid needs some dirt and bacteria to build immunity.

Most people will wait for an invite. I would never just drop in on people with a newborn.

[Fire]

Wait to be invited.

[Bigtime]

Originally Posted by Fire

Wait to be invited.

The OP says he is a close friend though, if he called them up and said:

"Hey can I make you a giant lasagna, come on over and cook it up for you to have a nice meal. I'll even clean the dishes."

...chances are they will say yes. You are offering some help and a chance to meet their new addition without being an extra burden for them to carry. No harm asking like that in my opinion.

[blankall]

Thanks for the advice people.

I always have a tendency to give people space in these situations, but a mutual friend who is very pushy is insisting we try to go over soon.

I think between the birth and christmas things will be crazy for them.

I think once I get some news from him telling me things went alright with the birth, I will send over an e-mail/text offering to come by at their leisure and then wait for the invite. Based on what I've read here, seems like a solid plan.

[V]

Talk to the dad. If the dad figures it's fine than it's probably fine, but he won't be afraid to tell you to shove off either.

And definitely bring a meal. When we had our first kid my wife didn't cook for 4 weeks. Solid help from our friends.

[Barnes]

Originally Posted by burn_this_city

I hate the hand sanitizer fanatics, frig the kid needs some dirt and bacteria to build immunity.

Most people will wait for an invite. I would never just drop in on people with a newborn.

We are talking about a newborn here. They receive antibodies from the mother just before birth and that's all they got. They have little to no means to fight off anything brought in from outside a mothers germ pool. A newborn cannot build immunity if their bodies are incapable of mounting a defense in the first place.

I'm all for kids getting dirty but let's at least use some caution when dealing with a baby before he or she gets the chance to develop properly.

I would suggest making some meals As well and seeing when you can drop them off. They will most likely want the distraction of a visit and end up inviting you in to at least show off the baby. Preparing meals for new parents is something they will never forget.

[Rathji]

Originally Posted by Barnes

We are talking about a newborn here. They receive antibodies from the mother just before birth and that's all they got. They have little to no means to fight off anything brought in from outside a mothers germ pool. A newborn cannot build immunity if their bodies are incapable of mounting a defense in the first place.

I'm all for kids getting dirty but let's at least use some caution when dealing with a baby before he or she gets the chance to develop properly.

I would suggest making some meals As well and seeing when you can drop them off. They will most likely want the distraction of a visit and end up inviting you in to at least show off the baby. Preparing meals for new parents is something they will never forget.

I totally agree with this. My kids are 18 months and 3 years now and we let them run loose in the outhouse that is the world of children, so to speak. When a baby is little you just want it to be healthy because even a minor cold will mom/dad or a combo of both up all hours of the night and possibly end up in the emergency room. Even the fact that kids have zero ability to blow their nose has a huge impact.

I will second the fact that they will never forget the fact that you brought them some food. My daughter was born over 3 years ago, and I can tell you exactly who brought food and what food they brought when they did. To put that in perspective, if you ask me who gave my kid which present for her birthday last week, I won't have a clue.

[Reaper]

Originally Posted by Puxlut

Even though I spit out an 8 pound bowling ball out of my hoo-hoo

A bowling ball? That's some serious diameter... I can almost hear the tearing...

Originally Posted by Reaper

A bowling ball? That's some serious diameter... I can almost hear the tearing...

Yup. It sucked. Thanks for reminding me.... I had ALMOST blocked it from my memory. Now do you understand why women are mental after giving birth and aren't the best hostesses?

I'm not sure if I agree with the "bring the lasagna over and we'll have a dinner party" idea... If I wasn't feeding the kid I was trying to get some sleep... whenever I could. I barely managed to get it together for an hour visit from my cousin.

[CrusaderPi]

Originally Posted by Puxlut

Yup. It sucked. Thanks for reminding me.... I had ALMOST blocked it from my memory. Now do you understand why women are mental after giving birth and aren't the best hostesses?

I'm not sure if I agree with the "bring the lasagna over and we'll have a dinner party" idea... If I wasn't feeding the kid I was trying to get some sleep... whenever I could. I barely managed to get it together for an hour visit from my cousin.

I have a theory on this. Woman are all born with an unspecified amount of crazy in them. For every decade age add 3% crazy. For every kids add 5%.

[Rjcsjc62]

If you are going to visit in the first week you have 3 rules:

1) Bring Food
2) Leave within 5 minutes
3) Dont touch the baby

If you are a close friend, you need to realize that right now is not about you getting to see the baby.

[Nage Waza]

Another thing to remember, if you are coming to see the newborn, either leave your kids at home or make sure they don't touch the baby. My brother and his wife refuse to wash their hands (they are of the camp that thinks you get healthier by getting sick???) and their kid ran loose trying to slobber on my week old son.

[GirlySports]

yeah send flowers but don't go see the baby for a couple of weeks.
Isn't there a 1 month b-day party you'll be invited to?

[burn_this_city]

Originally Posted by Barnes

We are talking about a newborn here. They receive antibodies from the mother just before birth and that's all they got. They have little to no means to fight off anything brought in from outside a mothers germ pool. A newborn cannot build immunity if their bodies are incapable of mounting a defense in the first place.

So long as the mom did the smart thing and breast fed the kid the colostrum right after birth they are fine. Besides, how'd we all survive before the invention of hand sanitizer.

[metallicat]

I follow the laws and rules of Karl Pilkington, and I'd say wait until the kid has it's own personality. A baby can be any baby, they're all the same. So about two years.

[Barnes]

Originally Posted by burn_this_city

So long as the mom did the smart thing and breast fed the kid the colostrum right after birth they are fine. Besides, how'd we all survive before the invention of hand sanitizer.

Like I said, the mother passes antibodies for germs in HER germ pool. The baby will not have antibodies from germs outside of her pool from like, I don't know... Someone coming over to visit?

We survived without hand sanitizer because people washed their hands. We also survived letting kids sleep on the back shelf of cars, no seatbelts, no bike helmets, etc but that doesn't make it any less fataing stupid.

[Russic]

Originally Posted by burn_this_city

So long as the mom did the smart thing and breast fed the kid the colostrum right after birth they are fine. Besides, how'd we all survive before the invention of hand sanitizer.

Have you tried sticking a nasal aspirator up the nose of an infant before? If you haven't, do everything in your power to make sure you never have to. Having a newborn is incredibly draining and being reckless about germs will ensure that the 45 minutes of sleep you were going to get goes straight out the window.

My kid is 1 and he's been sick for about a month now (thank you daycare). It isn't nearly as bad as when he was smaller. He sleeps, he plays and he gets distracted by things. Sick infants don't do any of those things, all they have is you.

[Finny61]

Definitely go with a meal, its the greatest gift for parents who have come home with a little one. With that said, someone please send me some meals because my 2 year old son is working on the last molars and I haven't slept in 2 months. Stupid teeth.

[Puppet Guy]

Originally Posted by Finny61

Definitely go with a meal, its the greatest gift for parents who have come home with a little one.

or if you don't bring food, parents can never have too many spit-up cloths.