Creative Parenting or Child Abuse?

[AFireInside]

Originally Posted by CaptainCrunch

I remember getting my mouth washed out with soap a few times growing up.

But any of my punishments were usually quick and you learned your lesson.

What that mother is doing is really really wrong.

Thats exactly it... Making the kid hold hot sauce in his mouth is brutal. Then yelling in his face and putting him in a cold shower... Stretching that punishment out is horrible and more like torture.

This kid is just going to be full or resentment and will likely be a handful because of his crazy mother. He'll be getting back at her for the rest of his life....

[theonlywhiteout]

.... astonishing. someone should punch that **** in the face and show her whats its like to get picked on by someone bigger than you

[Draug]

Originally Posted by CaptainCrunch

I remember getting my mouth washed out with soap a few times growing up.

Me too ... Do you think that would/should be considered abuse these days?

I breifly considered this as a punishment for my 5 year old as a response for blatantly lying to me. However, at this point, I've decided against it because I felt at only 5 years of age, she just isnt old enough to understand the breadth of consequences that lying can create. Plus, it isnt really a dire problem at this point.

But, if it a problem at 8 years old or so, I wonder if mouth washing would be useful???

[photon]

Just ask if you lied to your boss about calling in sick, if the next day your boss got some guys together and forced you into the bathroom and washed your mouth out with soap, would that be abuse (assault)?

Natural consequences make more sense.

[Draug]

Originally Posted by photon

Just ask if you lied to your boss about calling in sick, if the next day your boss got some guys together and forced you into the bathroom and washed your mouth out with soap, would that be abuse (assault)?

Natural consequences make more sense.

Youre right, in that case it would be. But, I dont feel like I was abused as a child, and I had my mouth washed out with soap one time. I cant see myself damaged in any way.

For me, it was punishment for telling my single mom to **** OFF! when I was about 8 years old. As a single mother, she was probably at her witts end with me and had nowhere else to turn.

[photon]

Having it done once or twice isn't going to mess a kid up for life or anything, but if it's not ok to do to our spouse or our friends or our employees, why is it ok to do to a kid?

I'm pretty sure I had it done to me a few times too, it's not something that's going to mess up a kid if it's done a few times.

But it does seem closer to the wrong motivation.. the idea is to teach kids, not control them.

Far better ways to do it, though I know exactly what being at witts end and feeling there are no alternatives is like.

This video is the extreme example, she's mentally abusing the kid by asking him "why" the way she is, making the situation complex, humiliating him, not even mentioning the physical part, all in the name of control. No way the kid could learn anything out of that whole exchange.

Kids brains are still developing, they are physically incapable of behaving the way adults do.

Anyway I digress, the video just makes me upset.

[Yanda]

Cold Shower is pretty similar to how some people get tortured, at least in movies. At least this is on Dr. Phil, because even if hes one of those bad kids that really needs good parenting he might actually get it if he gets taken away by child services.

[Draug]

Originally Posted by photon

The idea is to teach kids, not control them.

This video is the extreme example, she's mentally abusing the kid by asking him "why" the way she is, making the situation complex, humiliating him, not even mentioning the physical part, all in the name of control. No way the kid could learn anything out of that whole exchange.

Anyway I digress, the video just makes me upset.

Yeah, I didnt even watch the video. I deduced the content based on the comments, and that was enough for me. I'd likely by angry and feel sick to my stomach if I watched it. Once I had kids, I cant tolerate people that harm children.

You make a good point about teaching kids, rather than controlling them. That is exactly what I try to do also.

Come to think about it, I dont think having my mouth washed out with soap taught me a single thing (other than Soap is Yucky! .... which my kids already know from the book Yummy Yucky )

Yeah, I am not sure much good can come of the soap washing ... Glad I stayed away from it.

[DropIt]

Wow, that's obviously quite over the top.

Spanking kids doesn't seem so bad in comparison

[OILFAN #81]

My thoughts pretty much echo everyone else's. This is absolutely terrible. I felt really bad for the little guy when he was crying in the shower and she was just yelling at him. You could tell he was in pain and she kept yelling at him. I couldn't imagine doing that to anyone, let alone my own kids. Take a privledge away, but don't torture the poor guy. This lady doesn't deserve kids and should be punished.

Oh and did she just want tv time or something? The daughter filmed the ordeal and sent it to Dr. Phil. When she was by the shower I am sure the mother knew the daughter was there. Also, what was her reason/what happened afterwards?

[Mass_nerder]

That kid is going to hate hot sauce for life.
This woman is a complete ***** for ruining hot sauce for this kid.

[Cheese]

Nothing she did was warranted...or excused.
She should be tried for child abuse and have her son (children) taken away from her.

[FlamesAddiction]

Originally Posted by CaptainCrunch

I remember getting my mouth washed out with soap a few times growing up.

But any of my punishments were usually quick and you learned your lesson.

What that mother is doing is really really wrong.

So that explains your dislike for soap now! Just kidding, I got the soap treatment as well.

Probably the worst that I used to get was when my grandmother would put me in the corner and make me kneel on the floor vent until my knees would be killing me.

I used to have a crazy babysitting who told me there was a man who lived behind the furnace. When I would misbehave, she would take me to the furnace in the basement (with me kicking and screaming the whole way) and tell me how angry he would be. When we were there, she would hold me there and bang on the furnace with her other arm. It was pretty terrifying actually.

[Singe]

A symptom of a sick society. Hw could anyone think this is a good way to discipline a young kid like that.
Love how she's got a pic of Jesus on the wall.
Yeah, a good christian.
I'm pretty tolerant of things, but this makes me want to slap that demon senseless.

[Scoopdogg]

What a C U Next Tuesday!

[OzSome]

This is the reason why some lids despised their parents when they grow up. Wow what a tool that girl!!

[CaptainCrunch]

Originally Posted by FlamesAddiction

So that explains your dislike for soap now! Just kidding, I got the soap treatment as well.

Probably the worst that I used to get was when my grandmother would put me in the corner and make me kneel on the floor vent until my knees would be killing me.

I used to have a crazy babysitting who told me there was a man who lived behind the furnace. When I would misbehave, she would take me to the furnace in the basement (with me kicking and screaming the whole way) and tell me how angry he would be. When we were there, she would hold me there and bang on the furnace with her other arm. It was pretty terrifying actually.

Honestly there were four different types of punishment in our house when I was growing up, and mine were different because I was a boy. The girls mostly got yelled at or grounded.

For minor stuff, it was things like washing your mouth out with soap, or standing in a corner with a book on your head for an hour. We were never sent to our room because our stuff was in our room. It was always in the living room or kitchen that you spent your "Quiet time"

For the middle of the road stuff like lying, or pushing or hitting one of my sisters or a girl or getting sent home from school for making test tube rockets and firing them through the window. It was the physical punishment, when we were young it was the paddling. Sometimes it was the hand paddling, sometimes it was the belt, or the wooden spoon. But it wasn't like we were hammered on til we were bleeding. After that Dad or Mom talked with us in a fairly reasonable manner. When I was older at times it was more like Super Mario punchout in the backyard.

For things like bad grades or coming home loaded under aged or major lies it was grounding. You went to school and you went home. No T.V. you studied. When you were done studying you could read. Lights out at a fairly early hour because obviously you were tired and it impaired your judgement. You were pulled out of all after school activities. The only exception was later in life when you had an after school job. And my parents didn't believe in short groundings, they were the kings of the prison term with my longest being 6 months.

The worst punishment was physical labour, and that was reserved when you came home drunk and you knew that the next morning you were going to be badly hung over. Up at 5 painting the fence. or sanding and varnishing the deck, one time I actually had to pull down a tree. Another time I had to figure out how to get at a hornets nest and get rid of it. In the winter, you were outside not only clearing off our walk and driveway, but the whole street. Or there were indoor chores.

Paint fumes and hangovers don't mix people.

But my parents never physically tortured me for a long period of time while screaming at me over and over again. Even in the worst days when me and the old man were physically brawling it wasn't as clockwork orangey as that video.

She's a bad mother.

That kid is going to wait til she's about 80 and drown her in hot sauce. And you know that the daughter who's filming it is laughing her a$$ off at her brothers humiliation.

And an ice cold shower, are you kidding me, not only are those payment, but the shrinky dink thing can kill your self esteem for years.

[Locke]

Yeah. Holding hot sauce in your mouth, while crying, so he effectively cant breathe while she pours cold water over him.

She basically just 'water-boarded' her kid.

But if its okay for the Government to do.....

[Cheese]

The mother in the OPs post is now charged with Child abuse.

An Anchorage woman is charged with child abuse because of a "Dr.Phil" TV show appearance in which the audience saw video of her disciplining a 7-year-old son by putting hot sauce in his mouth and forcing him into a cold shower.

Of course she is pleading Not Guilty

[fredr123]

http://blogs.wsj.com/law/2011/08/18/...d/?mod=WSJBlog

Looks like they had the trial yesterday. No verdict yet.