09-25-2010, 11:44 AM
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#21
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Crash and Bang Winger
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Halifax
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Cool story bro
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09-25-2010, 11:46 AM
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#22
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Vancouver
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This is the best story I have ever read Mr. Prez.
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09-25-2010, 01:23 PM
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#23
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Victoria
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I don't know about the rest of you, but I rated this thread 5 stars.
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09-25-2010, 03:14 PM
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#24
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Calgary
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There has never been an avatar of the thread starter more appropriate than this.
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09-25-2010, 11:08 PM
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#25
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Scoring Winger
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Nice try, NSA
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Just so you know, I have a practice tomorrow. I will likely score a goal due to the power of my STICK. IT WILL NOT COUNT TO MY STATS. Please stop updating my stats due to my practices. They are not the same thing.
I will try my hardest. For you people. My new found friends on CP who appreciate my magic stick as it should be.
I will see how my stick functions in my next practice and my next game. This will scientifically prove the magic of my stick.
Thanks.
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09-26-2010, 12:07 AM
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#26
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#1 Goaltender
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Crazy Bacon Legs
Just so you know, I have a practice tomorrow. I will likely score a goal due to the power of my STICK. IT WILL NOT COUNT TO MY STATS. Please stop updating my stats due to my practices. They are not the same thing.
I will try my hardest. For you people. My new found friends on CP who appreciate my magic stick as it should be.
I will see how my stick functions in my next practice and my next game. This will scientifically prove the magic of my stick.
Thanks.
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Wait... Did you actually write that first post? I thought it was just some random story you found on the internet lol/
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09-28-2010, 10:38 AM
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#27
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Scoring Winger
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Nice try, NSA
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Okay, so I had my practice and my stick performed beyond my expectations. I will give you examples:
EXAMPLE 1: We were playing in a "scrimmage" practice game and I skated up the ice. I shot a whizdinger of a shot, it hit the goalie in the shoulder and bounced to the left (my left, not his. I was facing the other way). I got the puck on my backhand near the red line - LIKE MAYBE 6 INCHES IN FRONT - and I fired a backhand shot at an impossible angle. What? Impossible, you say? Oh really? I ROOFED A SHOT OFF THE CROSSBAR AND IN THE GOAL! This is something I have never done. My stick hummed in my hands and everyone sighed and smiled. The world was a better place. People around the rink (There may have been about 1,000 people, or maybe less) began to rhythmically clap their hands as I held my stick aloft like a latter-day Excalibur. I love my stick.
EXAMPLE 2: I got mad at a guy and hit him with my stick. He fell over, clutching his back. MY STICK HAS THE POWER TO KNOCK OVER PEOPLE AND HURT THEIR BACK. I told you my stick was magic.
I have a game on Friday. I cannot wait. I have started carrying my stick everywhere I go. I got the stink-eye from the local shopkeep. My boss has been giving me strange looks in meetings. They do not yet know the power of the stick. If they don't quit with the stink-eye they may get an EXAMPLE 2.
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09-28-2010, 10:48 AM
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#29
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Lifetime Suspension
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The Grass is still green here, Sundeep.
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09-28-2010, 11:15 AM
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#30
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Franchise Player
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Badabing
Cool story bro?
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^^^^ This needs to accompany any "cool story bro" comment on this board from now on.
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09-28-2010, 12:00 PM
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#31
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Calgary
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Crazy Bacon Legs
Okay, so I had my practice and my stick performed beyond my expectations. I will give you examples:
EXAMPLE 1: We were playing in a "scrimmage" practice game and I skated up the ice. I shot a whizdinger of a shot, it hit the goalie in the shoulder and bounced to the left (my left, not his. I was facing the other way). I got the puck on my backhand near the red line - LIKE MAYBE 6 INCHES IN FRONT - and I fired a backhand shot at an impossible angle. What? Impossible, you say? Oh really? I ROOFED A SHOT OFF THE CROSSBAR AND IN THE GOAL! This is something I have never done. My stick hummed in my hands and everyone sighed and smiled. The world was a better place. People around the rink (There may have been about 1,000 people, or maybe less) began to rhythmically clap their hands as I held my stick aloft like a latter-day Excalibur. I love my stick.
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Whizdinger? What are you 90? Who talks like that? Are you sure your magic stick isn't just your cane and you suffer from dementia? Are you actually sat in a nursing home with a soiled adult diaper on, living vicariously through your own message board posts?
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09-28-2010, 12:08 PM
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#32
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Norm!
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__________________
My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings;
Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and despair!
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09-28-2010, 12:40 PM
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#33
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Lifetime Suspension
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Easter back on in Vancouver
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jayems
Whizdinger? What are you 90? Who talks like that? Are you sure your magic stick isn't just your cane and you suffer from dementia? Are you actually sat in a nursing home with a soiled adult diaper on, living vicariously through your own message board posts?
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Lol chill out he is obviously joking and is quite hilarious. You on the other hand sound like you are 90 and mad at the world.
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09-28-2010, 12:56 PM
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#34
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First Line Centre
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Sector 7G
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Quote:
Originally Posted by puckluck
Lol chill out he is obviously joking and is quite hilarious. You on the other hand sound like you are 90 and mad at the world.
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WHOA WHOA WHOA
so you're telling me my new Iginla curve wont let me levitate
__________________
The Oilers are like a buffet with one tray of off-brand mac-and-cheese and the rest of it is weird Jell-O
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09-28-2010, 12:59 PM
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#35
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Scoring Winger
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Nice try, NSA
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jayems
Whizdinger? What are you 90? Who talks like that? Are you sure your magic stick isn't just your cane and you suffer from dementia? Are you actually sat in a nursing home with a soiled adult diaper on, living vicariously through your own message board posts?
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Sir,
While your assertion that I am an incontinent geriatric with some sort of implied scatalogical fetish who is attempting to recapture his failed youth through message board posts is erroneous, I thank you for your valuable input, galdarn it.
On the other hand, I do not know why you are so angry when your whizdinger is obviously much larger than mine.
Last edited by Crazy Bacon Legs; 09-28-2010 at 01:03 PM.
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09-28-2010, 01:16 PM
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#36
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: CGY
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^ So awesome.
__________________
So far, this is the oldest I've been.
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09-28-2010, 01:25 PM
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#37
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Norm!
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I keep waiting for his description of himself, over 9 feet tall he was with a beard . . . red the color of the Flames of hell it was.
So awesome.
__________________
My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings;
Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and despair!
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09-28-2010, 02:20 PM
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#38
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Scoring Winger
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OP kind of writes like Dave Barry.
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09-28-2010, 02:24 PM
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#39
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: CGY
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I hope he keeps posting. This thread has so much win.
__________________
So far, this is the oldest I've been.
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09-28-2010, 02:28 PM
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#40
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Calgary
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I'm just curious if we'll ever get to eat his legs. They sound delicious.
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