Bullying in schools, what can be done?

[Swayze11]

Originally Posted by mikey_the_redneck

So kids should be suspended for joking around with their friends?

Ridiculous....

Teacher - "Okay kids, no joking around or we might interpret it as bullying and send you home for a suspension"........yeah that will go over well.

It might be ridiculous but it is a solution.

[IliketoPuck]

Originally Posted by mykalberta

If I were you I would tell your kid he did the right thing in punching the other kid.

If the school decides to go further then you take it to the school board or local news papers.

Nothing shuts up public employees on a power trip like the local news.

Yea, I'm sure it would get dropped pretty quickly if global news ran a little expose' on it.

[TheyCallMeBruce]

Just do what us asians do and form gangs so we can beat up the bullies and his friends. Then threaten their family with death and make them pay "protection fee."

I'm joking of course.

[Matata]

my dad showed me how to box when I was in my early teens. That gave me the confidence to stand up to bullies, I never actually had to fight.

[Kybosh]

Originally Posted by IliketoPuck

This.

At some point in your life you have to stand up for yourself and do what is best for you.

Coddling kids is not the answer.

I agree to a certain extent but bullying is not generally one on one in a school environment. How easy is it to just stand up for yourself when the odds are 10 to 1? Also, bullying is relentless and it is not surprising that kids find it overwhelming.

Another thing to consider is that male and female bullying are often different animals. You and MYK seem to be thinking only in terms of male bullying, while females are much more passive aggressive but still very ruthless.

[Sliver]

Originally Posted by IliketoPuck

Or the flip side is this.

Whenever my boss is a dick to me, I will just complain to my teacher and they will tell him to stop being a meany.

Life isn't roses, and the quicker people learn that they can drastically alter their situation through how they react to situations, the better.

Yeah but you can quit if you don't like your boss. A kid is basically trapped going to school with his/her bullies. There's a huge difference.

[jeremywilhelm]

I bullied and was bullied myself. There is really very little that can be done about it. Teach the kid to stand up for himself, teach them morals, if your kid is a bully whoop his ass, if you don't know if your kid is a bully or is bullying, then you should have your own ass whooped.

Bully is all about communication. An xbox360 cannot protect your kids, and neither can teachers. Only you can.

[Da_Chief]

This is a problem. I know my nephew has had some problems at school and we've told him to just deck the kid but he doesn't listen (says he'll get in trouble) and that ticks me off.

There's no way of controlling it, kids will do it. IMO, the only way of improving it is to have a class where it shows the affects of bullying. Once a week, every kid till grade 9 would need to attend this class at school. You might run out of material but the lesson will be the same every week, if that doesn't get it through one's head after 9 years than not much will.

[IliketoPuck]

Originally Posted by Sliver

I think a lot of times it's best to do nothing. Sometimes it can go too far, though. Some kids are just passive by nature and will never stand up for themselves. If they are getting depressed/suicidal, it's obvious they need help.

I agree, confrontation isn't necessarily the best choice for every kid because of their natures.

Through personal experience though I can say it was one of the best decisions I ever made standing up to a bully. Stood up to him, scrapped, broke his nose, and the bullying was done. Period.

If that isn't an option, I guess you have to get counsellors or other authority figures to hopefully not make the situation worse.

[IliketoPuck]

Oh and I completely agree, I am coming from a male bullying standpoint. I think female bullying is even worse because of the mental and social destruction it can cause. Girls can be extremely brutal to each other.

As for the boss example, maybe not the same situation, but the same idea. Standing up for yourself is a life skill, and it needs to be learned.

[BaldyAuldy]

Technology now a days makes it easy to stop bullying.
Arm your kid with a flip cam and get him to record what's goin on. Or shoot pics with his cellphone.
Get evidence..go to the principal. Set an example

[JustAnotherGuy]

Originally Posted by IliketoPuck

This.

At some point in your life you have to stand up for yourself and do what is best for you.

Coddling kids is not the answer.

So, what is the proper way to deal with a bully? Is the first step have a physical fight? What if the situation is that the bully is twice as big as the kid he is picking on? What if the kid is naturally timid and is not strong enough to stand up to bullying?

There seems to be a lot of "tough" guys here who think the solution is to beat up the bully. Which I think is the solution most of the time. Lets face it. A bully is a weak person to start with.

But what happens if the kid being picked on does not have the character to stand up to it? What is the answer?

[IliketoPuck]

Originally Posted by BaldyAuldy

Technology now a days makes it easy to stop bullying.
Arm your kid with a flip cam and get him to record what's goin on. Or shoot pics with his cellphone.
Get evidence..go to the principal. Set an example

Then joe shmo bully and company find out it was your kid that snitched and it gets 10x worse.

Bullying is complicated. But it gets a whole lot simpler when the bully realizes that its more easy to pick on someone else when your kid sticks up for himself.

[ricoFlame]

Originally Posted by Da_Chief

There's no way of controlling it, kids will do it. IMO, the only way of improving it is to have a class where it shows the affects of bullying. Once a week, every kid till grade 9 would need to attend this class at school. You might run out of material but the lesson will be the same every week, if that doesn't get it through one's head after 9 years than not much will.

this comment is right on. Schools do a ton of work to stop bullying, especially revolving around respect. The fact of the matter is that some kids just don't get it/care, and it causes a huge problem for the majority who do. Schools suspend, have parental meetings, and various other things, but some kids won't change no matter how many times or how severe their bullying is dealt with.

[IliketoPuck]

Originally Posted by JustAnotherGuy

So, what is the proper way to deal with a bully? Is the first step have a physical fight? What if the situation is that the bully is twice as big as the kid he is picking on? What if the kid is naturally timid and is not strong enough to stand up to bullying?

There seems to be a lot of "tough" guys here who think the solution is to beat up the bully. Which I think is the solution most of the time. Lets face it. A bully is a weak person to start with.

But what happens if the kid being picked on does not have the character to stand up to it? What is the answer?

I was 5'5" and 130 pounds soaking wet in highschool. The bully was the middle linebacker on the football team. I'm a very relaxed and non confrontational person by nature, and it was an agonizing decision to stand up to him, I'm no big toughguy, but I did learn sticking up for yourself is one of the best things you can do.

I guess I just have a strong personal conection to bullying, and I can say that life definitely got better when I stood up to him.

[Azure]

Its not always easy to say 'just stand up to him' when the other guy is 2' bigger and 30# heavier.

And bullies usually are bigger.

[IliketoPuck]

It isn't easy at all. I'm not saying it is.

A bully goes after someone who is an easy target. As soon as that target requires more effort to bully...well it's just not quite as easy as it used to be, and generally the bully moves to an easier target.

[IliketoPuck]

And won't it be fun, 15 years down the road, when the bully wants a job, or a promotion and I'm in a position to influence that? I can't wait.

[Traditional_Ale]

If my kid was getting bullied and started fighting back I wouldn't care how many suspensions he got. I'd tell him I was proud of him for standing up for himself and I would let the principal and the teachers know that he has my consent to fight back against anyone who bullies him.

They can either deal with it or he can be homeschooled, which is what I would prefer anyway. The social aspect of traditional school can be made up for through things like community sports or music or whatever.

[Azure]

Hey I agree. It would be better if kids stood up to bullies. I actually think its the only way to stop it as many in this thread have said from their experiences.