Archie Andrews to marry Veronica Lodge

[CrusaderPi]

Originally Posted by Hack&Lube

The question is how does an idiot ginger like Archie attract both Betty and Veronica?

And how come the Riverside gang are stuck in the 1950s era of any guy can date any girl, etc. unless they are going steady. They need to bring that back. There's no cheating in Archie's world. Archie can date Betty on Monday and date Veronica on Tuesday. They don't get pissed off or break up with him.

He must be hung like a horse. Or a total b***h.

[FlamesAddiction]

Originally Posted by 4X4

I wonder if Mr. Weatherbee ever did the dirty with Miss Grundy a'la Skinner and Krabapple.

I don't even think Hot Dog would do the dirty with Grundy...

[kipperiggy]

Wow this just totally ruined Archie comics for me, I don't really know why, but it does!

[flip]

Originally Posted by Yeah_Baby

I await the time when Archie comics desides that with Archie being married they've moved too far away from the essence of Archie and to write themselves out of it they have Archie make a deal with Mephisto erasing any memory of the marriage and resetting the timeline.

I just read that not too long ago with no prior knowledge of what the storyline was about. I picked up the TPB at a bookstore in Hamilton when I was bored off my ass and needless to say Brand New Day (or whatever it is called) can kiss my ass.

[jammies]

Bun in the oven!

[Locke]

I can hardly wait for the issue where Veronica divorces Archie for his best pal Jughead, then Archie develops a serious drinking problem that he supplements as a part-time pole dancer in the local Riverdale strip joint, this is in addition to being hopelessly addicted to Pop's Sundaes and he is forced to sell his body on the street to whoever will pay.

Archie giving head to Pops for one more hit ought to slam home some realism to Archie comics, or paying Sven the School Janitor to fence him one more bottle of Wild Turkey so he can flush away his final memories of his failed marriage and bitter, backstabbing friendship that he once found so much comfort in.

It will all culminate in a strip where Archie is found passed out in Hot Dog's doghouse, 80 pounds overweight from uncontrollable drinking and a lifetime of sucking back Pop's Sundaes wailing in his alcohol induced stupor something about cheeseburgers and the cruelty of post high school life.

Now thats a comic I'd buy, but I only read Archie comics at the Barber's and on the crapper, so maybe I'm not the target demographic.

[Nage Waza]

I have an issue where it is Archie versus the Punisher! Crazy for sure, they are both on the cover...

[kirant]

(Starts timer)

I bet this thing won't hit a year after the comic hits the stands that they reset the timeline.

[KTrain]

The story takes place 5 years in the future. There will be lots of time for him to get with Betty before he settles down with Veronica.

http://comicbookresources.com/?page=article&id=21355

[CaptainCrunch]

The wedding will never happen, they''ll find Archie's decomposing body in a nuclear waste disposal barrel stamped with the Lodge industry logo.

Veronica's old man hates Archie with a passion.

Or it could be Reggie the school bully.

Or Jughead, who archie snakes the occasional burger from.

Hell it might even be Moose, I mean he did make that homosexual advance on Archie after Gym class, and in a steroid laden ed rage snaps Archie's neck like a twig.

In fact, there's not a person in that town that really likes Archie except for Betty who secretly harbour's a deep and somewhat sexy love for Veronica.

[jammies]

Originally Posted by CaptainCrunch

In fact, there's not a person in that town that really likes Archie except for Betty who secretly harbour's a deep and somewhat sexy love for Veronica.

See, there's a story arc I could get behind.

"Betty and Veronica Issue #241: Betty Learns Discipline from Mistress Ronnie"

[Titan]

You guys are all sick.

In a good way.

[Locke]

Originally Posted by Titan

You guys are all sick.

In a good way.

Wait, what? Theres a good way? They never told me that. LIES!!

[fatso]

Originally Posted by KTrain

The story takes place 5 years in the future. There will be lots of time for him to get with Betty before he settles down with Veronica.

Spoken like a true playa!

I hope Archie doesn't sign a pre-nup!

[Ironhorse]

Originally Posted by Hack&Lube

The question is how does an idiot ginger like Archie attract both Betty and Veronica?

And how come the Riverside gang are stuck in the 1950s era of any guy can date any girl, etc. unless they are going steady. They need to bring that back. There's no cheating in Archie's world. Archie can date Betty on Monday and date Veronica on Tuesday. They don't get pissed off or break up with him.

Because he's not on Facebook.

[Resolute 14]

The poll needs a fourth option: "Move to Utah and marry both".

[troutman]

Those kids have been in high school for an awfully long time.

Of course Archie made the correct choice. Betty and Veronica look exactly the same - same body, same face, same hair. Only difference is Betty has blonde hair, Veronica has black hair. And, oh yeah, Veronica is filthy rich.

[killer_carlson]

I've always been partial to Veronica myself.

[Bertuzzied]

They need to get with it. The wedding should have been Jughead with some gay flamingo dancer.

I really miss Richie Rich. How awesome would it be to have a mansion so large they have a bus transit system inside!

[CaptainCrunch]

Are you people silly. The minute that Archie marries that Veronica chick his sex life is over. Oh sure, they'll have the perfunctory 30 seconds of missionary once a month while Veronica bitches about her tough day at the garden club and how bloated her ankles feel after her three martini lunch with the other members of her society club. Meanwhile Archie was forced to work in the mail room in a spirit crushing job for his father-in-law. Meanwhile during sex, Veronica informs him that it will be the last time if he continues to hang around with that disgusting Jughead who didn't change his eating habits after his 25th year metabolism drop that caused him to balloon to a fat 350 pound doofus who still wears a crown and is living off of the welfare syste. And every morning you have to watch as Reggie, Mr. Lodge's new VP of whatever comes over to chat with your wife while your leaving for another soul crushing day pushing a cart full of mail through the Lodge empire. Meanwhile your two kids Reggie and Veronica hate you with a passion and keep screaming at you that your not their real father.

Meanwhile Betty has become a stripper at the famous Riverdale gentlemans club who made her mark with a gimmick where she dresses up as a farmers daughter and shoots marbles out of her whoo haaa with stunning accuracy, she's been to sex addiction therapy multiple times but it never takes because she just likes banging and vintage camaro's way to much.

So the question is . . . . miserable in the penthouse, or penthouse action in the trailer park?

I know what we'd all go for.