03-01-2009, 09:59 PM
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#21
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Random Title Change!
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Calgary
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Today, I was typing up a love letter on my computer. A sexual love letter. I was in a classroom, I'm the teacher, I'm gay, and my love letter showed up on the tv screen while my 7th grade students were taking a test. It was up on the screen for 15 minutes. FML
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Oh damn.
__________________
Life is all about ass; you’re either covering it, laughing it off, kicking it, kissing it, busting it, trying to get a piece of it, behaving like one, or you live with one!!!
NSFL=Not So Funny Lady. But I will also accept Not Safe For Life and Not Sober For Long.
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03-01-2009, 10:52 PM
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#22
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Supporting Urban Sprawl
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Today, my boss called me into his office to show me the web site of a potential business partner. When he began to type 'virginia' into google, it auto-completed his search with his recent search for 'virgin boy s'. I have to go on business trip with him tomorrow. I'm a young guy. FML
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Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. When he was about to orgasm, he screamed "Yes Brittany!" at the top of his lungs. My name's not Brittany. That's his sister. FML
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I can't decide which is worse.
__________________
"Wake up, Luigi! The only time plumbers sleep on the job is when we're working by the hour."
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03-01-2009, 11:25 PM
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#23
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Vancouver
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reading through most of these sounds like its a lot of ugly girls with dick boyfriends
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03-01-2009, 11:40 PM
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#24
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Vancouver
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Today, I went to the Doctor with my parents. When the doctor asked if I was sexually active, I said 'Yes.' My mom laughed and said 'Good one.' My dad, for added effect said, 'Your hand doesn't count.' FML
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lol parental burn
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03-02-2009, 12:27 AM
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#25
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Powerplay Quarterback
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here bi+ches
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Today, I typed an essay on my friend's computer, so she forwarded it to me in a email and she made the subject "here bitch" as a joke. I then went to email the essay to my teacher. I forwarded it thinking nothing of it only to realize that I didn't change the subject name. FML
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You are NOT the teacher's pet
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03-02-2009, 12:35 AM
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#26
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Powerplay Quarterback
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Today, we had some family over. A nasty need to wank seized me when I saw her : my 17 year old cousin. I went to my unoccupied parents’ bedroom. My sister's baby walkie talkie was on and the whole family heard me. FML
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Signed,
Clem from Edmonton
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03-02-2009, 12:43 AM
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#27
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Loves Teh Chat!
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Today, my boyfriend was coming over so I bought this sexy corset, some fishnets, silettos and see-through thong. After my dad left I dressed up and a few minutes later the doorbell rang. I answered it, whip in hand. It was my dad. He forgot his keys. Im grounded. FML
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These are priceless.
Much more fun than studying finance or writing my 15 page HROD decision.
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03-02-2009, 04:41 AM
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#28
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First Line Centre
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I agree some of the posts can be pretty funny, but a lot of them leave me feeling really sad.
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03-02-2009, 08:55 AM
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#29
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Calgary
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Lol:
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today, i was giving my boyfriend a blow job, he was twitching and moving around and saying "oh yeah" then he said "take that bitch". I looked up to see he was only excited about how he is domination in call of duty 4. Fml
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03-02-2009, 10:46 AM
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#30
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Income Tax Central
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Today, I borrowed a van to move some of my furniture. I wasn't used to the brakes so when I stopped at a red light, I pretty much ended up in the cross walk. Suddenly I heard a loud thud at the side of the van. I turned to see what idiot would walk into a van. It was a blind man. FML
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Hahahahahaha!!
__________________
The Beatings Shall Continue Until Morale Improves!
This Post Has Been Distilled for the Eradication of Seemingly Incurable Sadness.
The World Ends when you're dead. Until then, you've got more punishment in store. - Flames Fans
If you thought this season would have a happy ending, you haven't been paying attention.
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03-02-2009, 01:55 PM
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#31
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: The C-spot
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Today, I saw an elderly man fall in a crosswalk, so I jumped off my bike to help. As I helped him across, the light turned green. At that point I noticed my phone had fallen out of my pocket in the street and was run over by several cars. I then watched across a 6 lane street as someone stole my bike. FML
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Oh man.
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03-02-2009, 02:23 PM
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#32
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Dances with Wolves
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Section 304
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Today, I went to get a condom because my boyfriend and I were going to have sex for the first time. When I opened the drawer, I saw that every single condom had a Jesus pin stabbed through it, and a note on top of the box: "love mom." FML
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Wow. If my mom did this to me I'd probably use it and discard it on her nightstand with a note saying "you'd better pray this worked".
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The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Russic For This Useful Post:
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03-02-2009, 02:25 PM
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#33
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Franchise Player
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Marseilles Of The Prairies
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I've read about 35 pages of this site so far.
Gold star for the OP
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by MrMastodonFarm
Settle down there, Temple Grandin.
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03-02-2009, 02:38 PM
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#35
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addition by subtraction
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Tulsa, OK
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Philly06Cup
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actually it looks like it got overlooked more than anything. i actually don't remember it as i was so astonished by the porch monkey image. i think the several ongoing conversations made it go unnoticed.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by New Era
This individual is not affluent and more of a member of that shrinking middle class. It is likely the individual does not have a high paying job, is limited on benefits, and has to make due with those benefits provided by employer.
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03-02-2009, 02:40 PM
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#36
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Franchise Player
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Marseilles Of The Prairies
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dobbles
actually it looks like it got overlooked more than anything. i actually don't remember it as i was so astonished by the porch monkey image. i think the several ongoing conversations made it go unnoticed.
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Yeah, as much as I want to enjoy the confessions thread, it's such a Clutterbuck at any given time it's almost not worth wading through.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by MrMastodonFarm
Settle down there, Temple Grandin.
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The Following User Says Thank You to PsYcNeT For This Useful Post:
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07-03-2009, 06:19 PM
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#37
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Threadkiller
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: 51.0544° N, 114.0669° W
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And much in the same vein:
http://myworstsecret.com/
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07-03-2009, 06:40 PM
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#38
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Moscow, ID
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ricosuave
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Should read Ineedtherapy.com.
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