Money and Friends

[Buff]

Originally Posted by Grunt

<snip>

This type of things irks me in the same way as when people start tallying their portions of a bill at a restaurant when all 4 people basically had dishes and drinks that cost roughly the same price. Who cares if Johnny's dish cost an extra $5, just divide the check by 4 and be done with it (in instances where one person doesn't decide to just grab the check that is).

Where I used to work we went for lunch a few times per week, and we just split the bill equally. We didn't care. Where I work now this one guy is such a stickler for details. I'm certain he memorizes the menu and figures out how much each person owes immediately after we order.

[Table 5]

When there is a big party, I'd rather have dinner with a guy who is a stickler for details, then the guy who always leaves early, throws down a little bit of money, and gets the hell out of there before everyone realizes he way underpaid and you're stuck paying $30 for a hamburger. I have a couple of friends like this...I try not to eat with them often.

[habernac]

Originally Posted by Buff

Where I used to work we went for lunch a few times per week, and we just split the bill equally. We didn't care. Where I work now this one guy is such a stickler for details. I'm certain he memorizes the menu and figures out how much each person owes immediately after we order.

most of the "sticklers" out there (I'm one of them) are that way from being screwed by cheap friends in the past. People who cheap out on the tip or just can't do math worth a crap (or just don't care). I hate splitting the bill with a large number of people because of stuff like this, so I avoid it when I can.

[Grunt]

Originally Posted by habernac

most of the "sticklers" out there (I'm one of them) are that way from being screwed by cheap friends in the past. People who cheap out on the tip or just can't do math worth a crap (or just don't care). I hate splitting the bill with a large number of people because of stuff like this, so I avoid it when I can.

I can understand this when dealing with a large party, but what about when you're just out with a group of say, 3-5 people? Is going over every fine detail of the bill necessary? Surely one person can look at the bill, do the quick math including tip, and alert the rest of what each person owes?

But yeah, different story obviously when you're dealing with a large party and a subsequently large bill.

[HelloHockeyFans]

Yeah, some people are incredible sticklers when it comes to their money but don't give it a second thought when they're the ones given a free ride...

I agree with you that your friend shouldn't be calculating the $15 but you live and learn I suppose.

It's good to be generous I think, and I'm like you with my friends, but don't be a fool. In your friend's case, fine, he wants to put the $15 into the equation... did he put the other stuff you paid for into the equation? Snacks, food, whatever... if he didn't, then remember that and do not be generous with him again. You're not his dad, you shouldn't be paying for his share just because you do it with other friends.

It's like the very first time I was given a lift home by a friend and upon arrival, was asked for $5 gas money... are you effing serious?

[skins]

Hopefully your friend isn't a frequent visitor to CP, otherwise your cover is blown.

[Buff]

Originally Posted by Grunt

I can understand this when dealing with a large party, but what about when you're just out with a group of say, 3-5 people? Is going over every fine detail of the bill necessary? Surely one person can look at the bill, do the quick math including tip, and alert the rest of what each person owes?

But yeah, different story obviously when you're dealing with a large party and a subsequently large bill.

On the same note, it isn't hard for the wait staff to separate the bill so that each person gets their own bill. Just request either when you order, or when he/she asks if you're ready for the bill.

[Grunt]

Originally Posted by HelloHockeyFans

It's like the very first time I was given a lift home by a friend and upon arrival, was asked for $5 gas money... are you effing serious?

LOL! That's ridiculous. I would probably think he was joking since if delivered correctly with the appropriate build up prior to, could probably be a decent one. If they were serious I'd probably offer $20 instead, and then follow it up with further ridicule, such as asking if I'd be required to give fellatio or similar in the future if I wanted a ride.

[mykalberta]

It depends, the gas was pre determined split, was the flat pre determined that you would pay?

I have had similar experiences when one person will pay and then others pay them back. It has never worked out well for me. You either do simple math the time of or you forget it.

For restraunts there is always that guy who orders the expensive entree, dish, drinks and then leaves money that is less than what he owes. And its not a one time thing but a multiple time occurance.

With those people, I know its a pain and low class but you ask for separate bills.

[jammies]

There's few things more annoying than a cheapskate. If you are going to niggle over the cost, ask for a separate bill and pay it yourself, so I don't have to throw in the extra $20 to cover both the fact you don't "agree with the GST" or "tip because I shouldn't have to pay extra for good service".

There's nothing worse than looking at $300 tab and having $290 in your hand after you've already thrown in a liberal tip plus your share, yet everyone there says they've already chipped in. Yah, ok - maybe remedial math is the problem, but I think it's just the ugly human habit of "oh, there's so many people here nobody will care if I short it a bit".

That being said, if I order a round of drinks, I'll either ask to pay that round in cash, or make sure everyone wants to stand a round. Fotze is right in that you also should be careful not to spend other people's money for them, either.

As far as the OP goes, I would've laughed and said, "No, unless you want me to add up everything I bought on the trip and send you the bill for half of that, too." And if he whined about it, next time I'd have him pay for half of each fill-up on the way - and you can be sure the car would start out near empty, too.

[bluejays]

Originally Posted by Grunt

Sometimes I like to treat my friends when we go out for beers, or for lunch, or whatever. When I throw parties I always have a boatload of alcohol onhand that everyone is welcome to enjoy. I like to think that small tokens like this pretty much always even themselves out. I do try to remain cognisant of the times when my friends have paid for me so that I can get them back, but it's obviously not a hard tally that's maintained since, as I said, I think it all evens out in the end.

I recently went on a road trip with a friend of mine out to Salmo, BC and we agreed to split the gas. I paid for all the gas on my credit card for easy tallying at the end. Fast forward to today... it's been over a month since our trip and I've been lazy about asking my friend for the money, but today I remembered. I originally thought he owed me $100, but it turns out that he only owes me $80.

His response (over messenger): "whew... so.... can I knock off $15 from that for flat of beer I bought?"

In my mind, it's completely ridiculous and inappropriate for him to suggest this. To me this is being really cheap, nitpicky, and kind of insulting. On our trip, and throughout our friendship, I've certainly paid for beer or other things for him and never dreamed of asking him for repayment. His comment made me feel like going through my credit card statement and pointing out small purchases that we could also split, since we're getting down to the nitty gritty.

Instead though, I just said "lol... I guess so..." to avoid petty arguments about ridiculous things like $15, and since I'm a nice guy / sucker.

My question to you Calgarypuck is: Is his request for the $15 completely normal and standard, or out of line?

Grunt I'm glad you brought this topic up. I'm always doing extra for my friends and chipping in way more than I should on our collective tabs when we go out. Always drive too and never charge for gas under the assumption we split parking and everything else from there. But I always have 1 or 2 cheap friends who go so far as to bring $5 in their pockets when going out, then when we go to the bar or club to order a drink, they'll be right behind you when you're ordering only to feel obligated to constantly buy them a drink. A few weeks back a coworker was having a birthday, so we went out and I brought my most cheapass one out of desperation, and when one of my female coworkers offers to buy him a drink, he takes the money from her hand and buys his own...with her money! I really got pissed (one thing to jip me, but embarressing me like that is not good). Haven't really talked to the guy since (don't think he gets it anyway), and if I ever invite him out again, it'll be for non-monetary based events. I'm like most of you guys though, don't have the balls to say anything to keep the friendship, but over time, you really lose a lot of money like that at the expense of some guy who makes more than you, benefitting from your generosity. In the end, one or two times is fine, but if your friend really can't understand the concept of returning the favour, or he's a daft idiot and you have to tell him, it's better to keep the moocher away. You'll be happier in the end IMO, and breaking ties with these people isn't all that difficult you'll see.

[4X4]

Originally Posted by fotze

As long as your not that friend that when you go out for a group dinner then say "Lets get some APPIES (actually if they say appies I punch them in the face, so appetizers)" then order 6 different appetizers. Then during the meal, they order 4 rounds of shooters. Then at the end of the bill they split the bill evenly. Sure, ok, on the do not answer list you go. I weigh a buck 20 and don't eat much and don't like to gorge, and shooters are just fatain stupid.

Wow dude. This thread combined with the other thread makes me think that we have the same friends. I have that friend. Not so much with the food, but definitely with the shooters. I'm not a big shooter guy (more accurately, I'll only do tequila shots and nobody ever wants to do them with me) so it annoys me when he orders a round of little girl shots like sour jacks. Then when I pass it up, he gives it to the closest woman in the vicinity, then at the end of the night, I end up paying for shots that I declined. So annoying.

[Grunt]

Originally Posted by jammies

As far as the OP goes, I would've laughed and said, "No, unless you want me to add up everything I bought on the trip and send you the bill for half of that, too." And if he whined about it, next time I'd have him pay for half of each fill-up on the way - and you can be sure the car would start out near empty, too.

The man inside me who fights for justice and demands his due would love to do this. Unfortunately, the logical, reasonable (and surprisingly, much larger) man next to him always quashes this plan. It's just way, way too much trouble and drama over $15... and he is still my friend after all. A cheap friend, but a friend nonetheless.

Next time I'll just try to make sure monetary matters are clear before items are purchased together.

[blankall]

I think everybody has friends like this. The sad part I find is that the friends who refuse to pay for anything are usually the most likely to try and take as much as they can or abuse an offer you make.

There is nothing you can really do about it. Just decide is this one negative aspect of his character outweighed by the positive? You have to look at the relationship as a whole.

[Winsor_Pilates]

I understand the irk of the OP. I've had friends like that too, however I've found the best thing to do is to just throw out a "LOL" and let them have their way. You'll have to be the bigger man here, but throwing out a little laugh about it may get them to think twice about their request.

[jayswin]

Like a lot of posters in here, I was the guy who wouldn't be petty with the bill at all, I would just estimate what I owed, and pay more than enough. But having been in too many situations where everyone throws their money in, only to have someone holding the cash saying "uhh, we're about $10 short, plus there's no tip", and then everyone stands there staring at eachother saying "well I know I paid enough" just rubbed me the wrong way.

This may sound cheap, but after being screwed so many times and knowing that friends at the table know they're cheaping out, I've changed my way of paying. Now I pay my share plus tip, put my wallet away, and then if we're short I make a point of finding out why we're short. Then the person who shorted kind of feels cheap and has to get his wallet back out.

The worst was one time at BP's with only 3 of us. Our buddy only racked up $10 on our bill, so when we we're done he said "you guys give me the cash and I'll go pay on debit". So me and my buddy gave him enough cash for our portion plus a $5 tip each. So he comes outside, and the waitress comes out right behind him and says "hey guys, you're a dollar short". So basically our buddy took our $10 tip to pay for his $10 portion of the bill and left, but wasa still a dollar short. So now we're all standing there looking like cheap idiots, who had to be chased by the waitress.

I don't do this with everyone mind you, just a select group of friends that tend to have shortages happen a lot when we go out.

[Tron_fdc]

I had a few friends who happened to be girls that said that they didn't make as much money as everyone else, so if we wanted to hang with them we would have to accept the fact they wouldn't put in on tabs. That was pretty much verbatim...I mean WTF? They would come out for dinner, not order the appetizers (but weren't shy about digging in), order drinks, have a nice meal, then pull out a twenty and toss it in. We're talking $50 worth of food and drinks, and they would KNOWINGLY short it, expecting guys like me to cover it.

I'm the guy who orders 8 appetizers, a bottle of wine, a nice meal and desert, and pays the full shot. I don't expect anyone else to put in on what I order, but it's kinda nice if you eat half my nachos. What blows my mind though is when the bill is STILL short after I just paid over half of it.

[Finner]

There are some friends you can always trust to that they'll get back to you. With them i never worry about money, sometimes they buy the beer and pizza and sometimes i do, and nobody keeps track. Most my friends are like that.

But sometimes there are bad ones too:

A perfect example, on saturday i go out with 6 friends (7 of us) and our bill comes to $240. My part of the bill (for my gf and I) comes to 80, so i put in 100 to include tip. Everyone else puts in the money and it comes to 220. They all promise they've paid there part. One guy finally relents and adds 10 bucks, so i end up putting 40 bucks more in so the waitress at least gets a tip.

I find that my female friends are the worst for this. My male friends tend to be pretty good with throwing in an extra twenty if need be, but even last night, two of the girls had a meal and a drink (~19 before gst or tip) and both put one twenty...not counting the appetizers they shared with the rest of us. And its not like you can call them out on it.

Drives me nuts!!!!!!!

[missdpuck]

Originally Posted by Tron_fdc

I had a few friends who happened to be girls that said that they didn't make as much money as everyone else, so if we wanted to hang with them we would have to accept the fact they wouldn't put in on tabs. That was pretty much verbatim...I mean WTF? They would come out for dinner, not order the appetizers (but weren't shy about digging in), order drinks, have a nice meal, then pull out a twenty and toss it in. We're talking $50 worth of food and drinks, and they would KNOWINGLY short it, expecting guys like me to cover it.

I'm the guy who orders 8 appetizers, a bottle of wine, a nice meal and desert, and pays the full shot. I don't expect anyone else to put in on what I order, but it's kinda nice if you eat half my nachos. What blows my mind though is when the bill is STILL short after I just paid over half of it.

That's really irritating. A few months ago I went out to dinner with three people from work . The one guy ordered a $90 bottle of wine after the rest of us told him we wouldn't be drinking any. And we didn't. And yeah when we split the tab 4 ways he didn't take the hint that it would be kinda nice if he paid for that wine himself, but because he's a co-worker we didn't want to make a big deal. But boy the WHOLE office knows about it!

[bluejays]

Originally Posted by flameswin

Like a lot of posters in here, I was the guy who wouldn't be petty with the bill at all, I would just estimate what I owed, and pay more than enough. But having been in too many situations where everyone throws their money in, only to have someone holding the cash saying "uhh, we're about $10 short, plus there's no tip", and then everyone stands there staring at eachother saying "well I know I paid enough" just rubbed me the wrong way.

This may sound cheap, but after being screwed so many times and knowing that friends at the table know they're cheaping out, I've changed my way of paying. Now I pay my share plus tip, put my wallet away, and then if we're short I make a point of finding out why we're short. Then the person who shorted kind of feels cheap and has to get his wallet back out.

Oh buddy. I'm telling you, that's the story of my life. A few weeks back I joined some friends for a late night brew at BP, but instead of beer, I had a coke because I had work in the morning, but being a regular there, the waiter didn't charge me for the coke (the only thing I had in the half hour I was there). I didn't even get in on the nacho's or anything. I gladly put in $5 towards the tip, but somehow the cash is short. Normally I'd feel bad, but this night I was like you, and put the wallet away. I shouldn't have put in anything! Like some of you, just recently I have made it known what I've put in, what I ordered, I'm putting in more than my fair share.

There's another thing I hate...the one friend who feels obsessed everytime to say he put in more than he should have and always takes way too much change back when other people who obviously put in more than theirs are left with nothing.

That or the person who penny pinches the 15% rule.

People purposely mooch and it pisses me off. Sometimes people take it for granted.

I'm really liking this thread...it's been a long time coming to vent off on this nonsense (though the perpetrators will sadly never see this, and I don't have the gonads to vent on them in person).