Do we really need to be in constant contact with friends and work?
In my day, when we were courting, we had to walk to the corner, and make a call on the rotary community phone.
I don't know what makes you older, the fact that you used a rotary phone or the fact that you used the word "courting."
But back on topic... my Blackberry bit the dust just before I went on vacation this summer. That was the most awesome, relaxing vacation I've had since high school.
I'm that guy. I hate the phone but I will usually reply to text messages whenever I get the chance. If I want to see someone I will get a hold of them, otherwise leave me alone!
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Originally Posted by henriksedin33
Not at all, as I've said, I would rather start with LA over any of the other WC playoff teams. Bunch of underachievers who look good on paper but don't even deserve to be in the playoffs.
I'm that guy. I hate the phone but I will usually reply to text messages whenever I get the chance. If I want to see someone I will get a hold of them, otherwise leave me alone!
How old are you Hoot? Are you married / girlfriended? Do you go out quite a bit or are you more of a home-body?
None of these questions may make a difference, I'm just trying to figure out the type of people that do this :P. I'm mid 20's, single, and have a very active social life.
I have plans of some sort for pretty much every night of the week. I try to plan out my next few days ahead of time, so I frequently will make plans or schedule people in for certain days. I'm busy, and understandably get peaved when my time isn't respected. I would imagine the same goes for someone who was married with kids for example... not a lot of time available, so don't mess around!
Another question for you guys who don't get back to people: Do you find that over time you lose friends over this? Do people stop trying to get you to come out because it's too much work? If the person you're ignoring never texted or called you again, would that upset you? Also, has anyone ever expressed their annoyance with you over being a flake?
When you invite a friend out to go partying, and he either doesn't reply or gives you the "I'll get back to you later", just go without him. If he's pissed off then it's his own fault and he should reply next time. If he doesn't care that you left without him then he probably didn't want to go in the first place, and it was a good thing you didn't wait around.
I think you'd probably find that often times, the guys who don't always reply right away or even at all, are guys who have girlfriends. It's tough to make weekend plans with the guys on, say, wednesday, when I'm almost positive my girlfriend will want to do something on the weekend too. So rather than sounding whipped and saying "Umm...I'm not sure what I'm doing, just let me check with the girlfriend", I'd say "I'll get back to you". The problem with "I'll get back to you" is after a while I just completely forget about the conversation.
How old are you Hoot? Are you married / girlfriended? Do you go out quite a bit or are you more of a home-body?
25, single, and I would say I go out 2-3 times a week or I will have people over at my place. I enjoy going out just as much as I enjoy staying in. I'm pretty easy going and one thing that may separate us is I don't drink anymore, so going out can be an annoyance for me when I turn into the babysitter. So I usually try to hang out with whoever is not "going hard" that night.
Do you find that over time you lose friends over this? No. My friends are probably use to it. If I have lost friends because of it, I have not noticed.
Do people stop trying to get you to come out because it's too much work? No. They know the game, I hate committing to plans more than a day beforehand. If I have plans with someone else I won't pick up my phone.
If the person you're ignoring never texted or called you again, would that upset you? No. If I never heard from them again, then I would assume we were not good enough friends to begin with. I don't hold grudges so if someone did the same thing and I wanted to hang out with them I would just call them again (ONCE! I hate when people phone 2-3 times a day, leave a voicemail). Whats the big deal it takes a whole 2 minutes to dial a phone number and leave a message, are you saying your friends are not worth bugging 2 minutes a week or day?
Also, has anyone ever expressed their annoyance with you over being a flake? All the time. It's a running joke with my friends, but they know it's just the way I am. Many of my friends will actually drop in at my work because they know they have me trapped, damn them!
It's nothing personal against them, it's just sometimes I am busy and I hate picking up the phone when I am with other people. It also has to do with the long conversations my friends want to have. If you want to go out tonight you don't need to tell me about your day over the phone, wait til I see you.
I am also a single guy where most of my friends have wives/girlfriends so I don't like making plans 4 days from now because I would rather go out with some chick on a date vs. go hanging out with them and their girl.
edit: Fotze kinda touched on it too, when I may not pick up my phone but when I say I am doing something I do it. I never commit to a plan and bail last second.
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Originally Posted by henriksedin33
Not at all, as I've said, I would rather start with LA over any of the other WC playoff teams. Bunch of underachievers who look good on paper but don't even deserve to be in the playoffs.
I always respond to texts, but I'm also one of those guys who lets their voicemail fill up on Friday on purpose so people can't leave me messages. I have call display, and I know you called....I'll call you back if I feel like it.
I wish there was a way to disconnect voicemail altogether every Friday.
I always respond to texts, but I'm also one of those guys who lets their voicemail fill up on Friday on purpose so people can't leave me messages. I have call display, and I know you called....I'll call you back if I feel like it.
I wish there was a way to disconnect voicemail altogether every Friday.
I am the same way, except my voicemail box holds 25 so it makes it pretty hard to fill up. I would almost get rid of it, but my work didn't like that idea
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Quote:
Originally Posted by henriksedin33
Not at all, as I've said, I would rather start with LA over any of the other WC playoff teams. Bunch of underachievers who look good on paper but don't even deserve to be in the playoffs.
Location: Close enough to make a beer run during a TV timeout
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Originally Posted by Tron_fdc
I wish there was a way to disconnect voicemail altogether every Friday.
Are you on Telus?
*920
To re-enable Monday morning: *92 000 403 555 1212 (Or whatever your cell number of course.)
(Spaces added for clarity.)
If it works you will hear a dial tone. If it doesn't, you will hear a re-order signal (aka fast busy.) Then call up Telus and complain that you used to have "Call Forward- No answer" and it doesn't seem to work. Sometimes they have to enable it for you.
This is completely independant from being a flake. Being the type to always return calls but then being late or changing plans at the last minute is being a flake.
Actually, you're right - flakiness and not returning calls are two different things. It does seem like a lot of people in one category are likely to belong in the other as well though from my experience.
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Originally Posted by HOOT
If the person you're ignoring never texted or called you again, would that upset you? <snip>Whats the big deal it takes a whole 2 minutes to dial a phone number and leave a message, are you saying your friends are not worth bugging 2 minutes a week or day?
I definitely don't mind taking 2 minutes to call someone... by the same token though, if I call one time and leave one message, I would expect that they could take the 2 minutes to call me back. Am I not worth the 2 minutes of bugging per week/day?
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Originally Posted by HOOT
I am also a single guy where most of my friends have wives/girlfriends so I don't like making plans 4 days from now because I would rather go out with some chick on a date vs. go hanging out with them and their girl.
Sounds like we're pretty much on the same page, we just choose to schedule our time differently. I prefer to make plans a day or two ahead of time if possible, this way I can schedule in dates with girls, see my family, and still fit my friends in because I know what days I have available. You prefer not to be locked in to a schedule so that you can facilitate the same things.
No offense, but the fly by the seat of your pants, not sure when I can make time for you style drives me nuts. I can totally see where you're coming from though... it's just hard for a schedule-bound man like myself to deal with .
I don't think the friends I'm referring to are in the same boat as you... they display far more flaky characteristics. I'm starting to wonder if I should be so hard on these types though since our ways of planning our time just seem to differ. I didn't think I was a freak and a very weird dude before starting this thread, but after all the responses I'm starting to wonder if I am :P.
Hoot, lets say you meet a girl you really like, you've been on a number of dates and it seems to be going somewhere. She calls you tomorrow, tells you she is busy most of the week but really wants to hang out on Thursday night. Are you going to schedule her in, or tell her that you'll talk in a few days?
Hoot, lets say you meet a girl you really like, you've been on a number of dates and it seems to be going somewhere. She calls you tomorrow, tells you she is busy most of the week but really wants to hang out on Thursday night. Are you going to schedule her in, or tell her that you'll talk in a few days?
I would tell her to call me when it gets closer to that date to make plans. I don't like holding people to plans a week from now as things can change so quickly, because if someone cancels on me then it would piss me off. I would much rather make plans the day before so we all know nothing else is going on.
I use to live with my last girlfriend and I wouldn't even make plans with her a week ahead. It is just my personal choice, most people hate it but they deal with it and just brush it off as "oh that's just HOOT".
The only people I make far away plans for are the Calgary Flames, but thats because I know they won't flake out on the plans LOL
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Originally Posted by henriksedin33
Not at all, as I've said, I would rather start with LA over any of the other WC playoff teams. Bunch of underachievers who look good on paper but don't even deserve to be in the playoffs.
I always respond to phone calls/text messaging. Just my personality. If someone's my friend, I will at least make time for them on the phone or shooting them back a text. That said, I never deal with people calling me that I don't like because when I don't like someone they know it.
If I'm the one calling, I will leave it to one call/message. They know I called, if they want to come they'll get back to me.
Not at all, as I've said, I would rather start with LA over any of the other WC playoff teams. Bunch of underachievers who look good on paper but don't even deserve to be in the playoffs.
My younger brother used to be this type ... you'd leave a voicemail and never hear back. I don't mind if my call isn't important enough to answer right away - he did this to almost everyone in my family (can't say as to his friends as none of them are mutual), but at least - at LEAST - respond to the call or text or e-mail at some point. He's since gotten a lot better about it so at least you know you'll hear back.
It's not the not answering/immediate response that gets me, it's NO response that gets me. Have to say I find that incredibly rude.
What about when you're having a short conversation with someone via text and you say something that obviously warrants a response and they just stop texting you altogether, when every reply up to that point has been instant.
I'm that guy. I hate the phone but I will usually reply to text messages whenever I get the chance. If I want to see someone I will get a hold of them, otherwise leave me alone!
I do this too HOOT. I think it stems from the fact that I get lots of unwanted sales calls and then I am trying to stop the AWFUL rude habit of giving my number to people I really don't want to talk to. I don't have the #$@! to tell them that I've changed my mind. If I think I'll really want to know someone I'll tell them to text me. Then I don't have to wade through voice mail. I really can't use my cell during the day at work so that makes it easier to me. Also it buys me time to think about what the person has asked, unless it's urgent. I tend to jump into new friendships and then ask "why did I do that?" I have lost some relationships with this approach as you can imagine. I have a dire fear of being controlled and smothered. I just read a story about Rangers goalie Mike Richter who was kind of reclusive and didn't like to talk on the phone or return calls. The story seemed to say he was going to get therapy for that---that was like 14 yrs. ago---wonder what happened???? Sometimes I'll give my number to someone I REALLY like and then avoid the phone because I feel he probably won't call anyway, and I don't want to face grim reality. SICK, huh? I just wouldn't take this phone behavior personally. People like me are just WEIRD. We're avoiding something....
I sometimes do this, it stemmed from a friend who you could never say no to, they always tried to convince you and pleaded or got pissy, then I ended up lying, then stopped answering, then bled over into other people. Whenever I have done this, it is because in the past when turning something down they unreasonably got bent out of shape over it. If you ever get pissy because I didn't feel like golfing with 2 hours notice then I will likely not return a call in the future. If you are the type to totally not pressure me into anything then I will return the calls.
Totally agreed. I had a friend like this as well. If he had class the next morning, he'd never want to go out(obviously). But if he didn't and you did, he wouldn't care, he'd beg you to go out. We've had some brutal fights in the past because he couldn't understand why I didnt want to hit up the Lib on a Tuesday night when I had class at 8am the next morning. After awhile I just stopped responding to his messages/calls if I didnt feel like going out that night, because it sure beats arguing with him for the next hour about why I dont want to. Its funny because to this day he bitches about how hard I am to get ahold of, yet my more level-headed friends never have a problem.
Because of this, I can sometimes avoid people's calls/texts if I don't feel like going out, I guess because its just easier than arguing with them about why I dont want to. Totally depends on the person who's calling/texting.
It's not the not answering/immediate response that gets me, it's NO response that gets me. Have to say I find that incredibly rude.
Exactly! I'm a pretty understanding guy... things sometimes come up and that's fine. You don't have to call me back immediately. But if for example, we'd talked about getting together via email or in person or whatever earlier in the week, and I call you to make plans, you'd better call me back. It doesn't have to be immediately, but I mean... something that day, or as soon as you can the following day for sure. Even if it's just a text saying "I'll call you when I get off work" or whatever, just so I know what's going on so that I can make other plans if you aren't available.
I think that's the part that really gets me... I'm usually calling people to make plans to get together. My first priority is to the person I'm calling... If you can't get together that's cool, but tell me so I'm not left hanging.
