Did I really just say that?

[8 Ball]

Originally Posted by fotze

This one time I was getting hot and heavy with this girl, what I meant to say was "You are so damn hott" but what came out of my mouth was "Take a big crap on my chest". egg on face moment to be sure.

The dreaded Clevland Steamer slip up.

[jar_e]

Originally Posted by fotze

This one time I was getting hot and heavy with this girl, what I meant to say was "You are so damn hott" but what came out of my mouth was "Take a big crap on my chest". egg on face moment to be sure.

Guessing from your freudian slip it may be a little more than egg on your face....

[metallicat]

Not sure if this applies...

I used to work at a private golf course. We were basically taught that the people we needed to respect the most (we were teenagers working in the backshop) were the members of the board of directors. I remember being in the back of the proshop, slamming the board of directors for some stupid decision they had made, when one of the directors walks back to where we were talking. It was painfully obvious that he had heard what I said, but it didn't go any further than that. I was scared crapless though.

I often tend to slam management or bosses or people I shouldn't be slamming, and have them overhear. I gotta close my big mouth more often I suppose.

[octothorp]

When I was a kid, I thought those vehicles that distribute the gravel on prairie roads were called graters rather than graders. No problem, it's one of those mistakes you make as a kid, then you learn you were wrong and don't make it again. Then, earlier this year, I had a novel come out. Prairie Literature. And a few weeks after my launch, my dad says to me, "So you realize it's a 'grader', not a 'grater', right?" Damn, I feel like a moron for that.

When working at a clothing store and letting someone in the change room: "There you go. Have a nice day!" Shut the door, then repeatedly beating my head against the wall because I'M A MORON!!!

#2:I was showing the features and benefits of a peice of luggage to a gentleman and there was a loop in one of the pockets (keep in mind I sell womens purses as well...
"And you can put your pen or lipstick in here." Gentleman gives me weird look and I reply "How do I know you're not a transvestite???"
Open mouth, insert foot. Thank god the customer and I had been joking around for 30 minutes and I was able to back pedal a bit, but my part-timer looked like she was going to pee herself because all she heard was the last sentence...

[keratosis]

I once called my future wife,by my then dogs name.

[Aeneas]

This from a Finnish friend when we discussing the topic. She was in the equivalent of grade 5 or 6 I think, maybe younger. She had lived in Finland all her life, but got to experience a school year or part thereof in another country. If memory serves it was England but it doesn't really matter.

Anyhow, she is asked by a teacher to do a report about Finland, something special about Finland that would interest the class. So she put together a nice little presentation complete with photo evidence of this amazing event that happens once a year in Finland. She was disappointed by the class response. Her topic?

Autumn, the leaves changing colour. She actually thought it only happened in Finland. (That last sentence brought to you for Demented Reality)

I don't think they should have let her in on the humour, maybe just let October/November come along and let the penny drop then.

[Helen Bedd]

A girl I knew a few years ago once told me that she had tried to kill herself by drinking shampoo. As I'd never heard of anyone doing that before I immediately asked her "Did it work?" (I meant to ask WOULD it work...)

[Crispy's Critter]

little back-story on this one: my friend has a habit of calling his vehicles 'units', such as "Let's take my work unit to town"

So my friend and his wife just recently moved to the little town I'm in, and although I've talked on the phone with them regularly, I haven't actually seen them in about a year. Since the last time I saw them I've bought a new vehicle. My friend has seen the new truck, and said they were looking to buy something similar, and I should show it to his wife. So when I was over a couple days ago to their place I said to his wife "Hey, I should show you my little unit!"

[old-fart]

Many years ago while discussing a migration plan around NT4 and domains, I said "so then we'll de-promote the DC"... the two other in the conversation just looked at me for a second and then said "de-promote"?

Dumbass.

Another time in an e-mail thread, a lady from Edmonton that was actually a director wrote some witty comment about "duck tape". Took me a second or so, but then I fired back a "or even DUCT tape" reply. I did ask how many ducks she had taped up at her house...

[sadora]

Originally Posted by Crispy's Critter

...I said to his wife "Hey, I should show you my little unit!"

That's awesome.

My friends and I were out for breakfast at Nellies. The waitress was pretty cute and I was doing pretty well flirting with her but as my friends and I always do, we were being silly and trying to gross each other out...so, not to be outdone I tell them I have major diarrhea and that I wasn't wearing underwear...just as the cute waitress was coming up to the table behind me.

[Resolute 14]

Playing scrabble with my mom one day, she put down the letters "O-N-E". I asked her what an "own-nee" was.

[Berger_4_]

Originally Posted by Resolute 14

Playing scrabble with my mom one day, she put down the letters "O-N-E". I asked her what an "own-nee" was.

Same thing happened to me, except with the word tank...I kept asking her, what's a Tan K? Seriously Mom, you can't make up words for Scrabble. Then it happened again with patio.

[Bend it like Bourgeois]

Working with a group of salespeople, one was pregnant.

A few months passed and I met the same group. I asked her how the pregnancy was going. Wrong girl. As in not pregnant wrong girl.

[Boo Radley]

Last Christmas eve my family was gathered at my parents home. We were visiting and listening to the radio in the front room.

All of a sudden there was a break in the music for an official anouncement from a reporter on the radio indicating that NORAD had just spotted a flying object off the coast of New Foundland.

Everyone started cheering and I told them to quiet down so that I could hear more about the possible sighting of ET. Of course it was the annual Christmas eve announcement that Santa Claus was coming. My wife will not let me live this down.

It was a classic Clarke Griswold and Eddie Johnson exchange.
"Are you serious Clarke?"

Pass the Egg Nog...

[prarieboy]

I was quiting my job years back and the custom was to turn in your security card to your supervisor, mine was named Brenda.
The company that supplied the cards was called Chubb security.

On my last day I told my co-worker that I was going to give my "Chubby" to Brenda.

[Dan02]

Originally Posted by Machiavelli

Sometimes I say "you too" when the person at boarding says "Have a nice flight."

I nearly pulled this one off today myself, then i thought about this thread and laughed.

[IgnitedSoul]

With the "you too" thing, when I was a little bit younger, I'd ALWAYS do that. Even when it was, "Happy Birthday!" "You too!....Er..."

[calf]

Along the same lines of "you too", I have a habit, and so do others, of answering the wrong question people ask.

Most commonly:
"What's up?" "Not bad, and you?"
or "How's it going?" "Not much"

It's to the point where if people do that, I'll go out of my way to point out their error