Office Rumours

[Reggie Dunlop]

Originally Posted by JiriHrdina

I think the first thing to do is assess if its harming you in anyway in terms of your reputation and what not.

If it isn't. Don't sweat it. Amazingly just by being above all the rumor mongering you can separate yourself from the rest.

If it is. Talk to your boss...but do so in an indirect manner. Don't bring it up in a tattling manner but rather...maybe as a employee to mentor. Ask for advice about how to handle the situation. Does 2 things - shows you are mature but also alerts them to the situation without being a tattle-tale.

I think Eastern Girl has already indicated her supervisor may not be her staunchest ally. I would agree, though, that normally would be the preferred course, but it does not appear to be the situation here. However, since she works for a large company (presumably with a Human Resources department) then that may be her best route. Especially if there are others in similiar straits. These are the sorts of issues they're trained to deal with in-between tacking up job notices and tapping out newsletters. There are avenues available.

[JiriHrdina]

^Yeah I missed that - makes it more difficult. HR can sometimes complicate the situation moreso and make it worse.

[FlamingLonghorn]

Yeah so I am pretty much with Reggie on this one. If the rumors are what i think they are, that's a form of sexual harassment. I would log a complaint to your boss first, just to keep the command line intact, than go to HR when he doesn't respond. However, if you don't feel comfortable doing that go straight to HR and tell them why you didn't feel comfortable going to your boss. I am not an uber pc guy, but these rumors could affect yours and others careers, no reason not to raise the alarm.

[chris lindberg]

I would go to the Human Resources administrator along with your two friends, under full confidentiality of course.

[Reggie Dunlop]

Originally Posted by JiriHrdina

^Yeah I missed that - makes it more difficult. HR can sometimes complicate the situation moreso and make it worse.

Often it's the last avenue of recourse, if the situation is as Eastern Girl describes it (and I have no reason to doubt her).

This sort of thing is really bad for workplace morale and ultimately the bottom line.

Of course it's her call.

[Titan]

Originally Posted by Reggie Dunlop

Bypass the boss -- take it straight to HR. If it's affecting you in performing your job, then its harrassment. Doesn't sound like the boss has done a good job letting this kind of environment flourish.

HR will be required to follow through with enforcing an established company policy or implementing one. Make sure there's a paper trail.

ding ding ding we have a winner.

A male making inappropriate sexual jokes about a female is very much frowned upon. The fact is this is a form of harassment that will hurt you, the management and potentially clients. Lodge a serious complaint with the attitude that you will not tolerate being treated in this manner. It will be taken seriously if it is at all a serious company.

[Titan]

By the way, is anyone else a little weirded out that Reggie came up with the really good advice? just kidding, kind of

[Ice]

Originally Posted by RougeUnderoos

Ooh, the "harrassment" word. Good call.

On the other hand though, if you are with a big (and therefore likely successful) company, any rumours that you are screwing your way to the top is probably laughed at by the people who actually know anything. And if they don't laugh, they certainly can't be taking it seriously.

Having been labeled a whore in the past, I can tell you, this is right on. In my case, the people spreading the rumors about me didn't even believe what they were saying, they were just trying to tarnish my name. The people who had any control over my future didn't believe them anyway. The worst part for me had nothing to do with work, but was the transition of my rumor starters from gossips to stalkers.

Going to HR isn't a bad idea, because this is a form of harassment. If you know who is starting and spreading these rumors their supervisor has the responsiblity to put a stop to it, at least while they are at work. Your supervisor may not have to get involved at all.

My biggest advice is to resist the urge to discuss this at all while at work, unless you are speaking in confidence to a superior or HR about this specific topic. Even when you are the victim, you can be perceived as a drama queen if people feel like you are talking about this to your coworkers. It can be a no win situation and perhaps involving HR as soon as possible to stop this ASAP is the best plan. I chose to ignore my stalkers and not antagonize them and it didn't really improve anything. It really depends how crazy they are. (mine is bipolar)

My rumor starters turned into stalkers and followed me around like paparazzi to get pictures of me to photoshop into images that would appear scandelous. They were never successful, but I was followed for three years and at times it was quite brutal. Without any proof of threats to my safety, I couldn't do anything to stop them.

[fatso]

Wow, that sucks... sorry to hear about it.

I don't think addressing it with your boss would give it any legs. In fact, I'd say that bringing the rumour to his attention, and then re-assuring him that you had no part in its circulation would be pretty professional.

I also like the idea of presenting yourself to him as trying to intervene, and stop, these rumours before they spread too far and hurt yourself, the company, and the clients. Presenting your concerns as trying to do what's best for the organization and the clients is a sure-fire way to come off as professional and serious, but not overly dramatic.

Awful situation to be in... I hope it works out for you.

[The Goon]

Originally Posted by Ice

My rumor starters turned into stalkers and followed me around like paparazzi to get pictures of me to photoshop into images that would appear scandelous. They were never successful, but I was followed for three years and at times it was quite brutal. Without any proof of threats to my safety, I couldn't do anything to stop them.

That is seriously messed up.

[FlamesAddiction]

I'd echo what RD said.

Your company should have policies against this sort of thing and the people spreading the rumours are asking for discipline.

[DuffMan]

You work with a bunch of women right? I don' think you'll ever get away from that stuff. Just distance yourself from it and ignore it. You are the supervisor right? Let the subordinates talk about you, call it team camaraderie.

otherwise, man up and confront the person.

or, give them back their headphones, and they'll stop making up stuff about you.

[Eastern Girl]

Originally Posted by Ice

My rumor starters turned into stalkers and followed me around like paparazzi to get pictures of me to photoshop into images that would appear scandelous. They were never successful, but I was followed for three years and at times it was quite brutal. Without any proof of threats to my safety, I couldn't do anything to stop them.

Crud. That is a horrible situation. Mine isn't like that thankfully, just the rumours as far as I know. Sorry to hear about your situation. I imagine that would be quite scary.

Originally Posted by DuffMan

You work with a bunch of women right? I don' think you'll ever get away from that stuff. Just distance yourself from it and ignore it. You are the supervisor right? Let the subordinates talk about you, call it team camaraderie.

otherwise, man up and confront the person.

or, give them back their headphones, and they'll stop making up stuff about you.

I don't actually work with a bunch of girls, oddly enough. In fact, I am about 100% sure of who started the rumours and that person isn't a chick. I just don't have any proof to be able to make a formal complaint against him.

Anyways, thanks all for the suggestions. Definitely appreciated. The collective wisdom of CP never fails to impress.

[Flashpoint]

Take it straight to HR. This is a clear case of sexual harassment.

Because you are a woman, they are saying you sleep around to get clients. It's crap, and if you were a man, it wouldn't happen. You'd be amazed how much more respect you get when the word "6 figure lawsuit" gets tossed around upper management because someone:

'jokes' about women in business

or an employee who has done nothing wrong feels the need to say:

By the way, despite rumours, I'm not a whore.

Simply because they are a woman. It's BS, and you shouldn't have to put up with it. HR exists for a reason - to deal with this nonsense so you don't have to. Put em to work.

[Resolute 14]

Start a rumour saying the guy is sleeping with his boss to keep his current job?

Seriously though, if you have a fear that this will impact your prospects with the company, talk with HR about it.

[Eastern Girl]

Originally Posted by Flashpoint

Take it straight to HR. This is a clear case of sexual harassment.

Because you are a woman, they are saying you sleep around to get clients. It's crap, and if you were a man, it wouldn't happen. You'd be amazed how much more respect you get when the word "6 figure lawsuit" gets tossed around upper management

I just feel like that's a "damned if you do, damned if you don't" situation, cause I feel like either way my reputation could be tarnished. I leave it alone and ignore the rumours, they eventually become truth and I'm the chick that sleeps her way to the top. OR I do something, go to HR or threaten lawsuits, I get labelled the chick that can't take a joke or is willing to play the harrassment card and then I become an office pariah.
It sucks, but I am definitely going to do something about it.

[Gozer]

Just start sleeping your way to the top. Everyone wins!

[GreenTeaFrapp]

Originally Posted by Eastern Girl

In fact, I am about 100% sure of who started the rumours and that person isn't a chick. I just don't have any proof to be able to make a formal complaint against him.

Then make up a riveting rumour about him that will have the office forget about the rumour he started about you.

[Eastern Girl]

Originally Posted by Gozer

Just start sleeping your way to the top. Everyone wins!

Haha.

I'll make that plan B.

[CaptainCrunch]

There was a rumor going around the office at another job that I had killed a person, this was right after I got out of the military. I totally encouraged it, I tended to get my way in the meetings afterwards.

If your going to have a rumor floating around about you, make it a good one.