How useless are you? - Page 2 - Calgarypuck Forums - The Unofficial Calgary Flames Fan Community

Cowperson · 03-03-2008, 02:23 PM

Release the hounds . . . . . if there is something to eat lying around, they'll find it.

Personally, I would fear scurvy in the winter . . . .

Cowperson

Bring_Back_Shantz · 03-03-2008, 02:25 PM

I think I'd be okay.
I do a lot of hunting/camping and spend a lot of times out doors, so getting food should be no problem (besides, I've got enough guns and ammo in the house right now, that even if there were no critters around, I'd probalby be one of the guys in charge and telling people to bring me food).
As for shelter and fire, I've made both from scratch before, so I should have that covered.

So I'll be sitting pretty with my Lean-to (how the hell do you spell that?), nice warm fire, and a bunch of tasty critters. Yup, I'm gonna have all the chicks.

That all aside, I'd also like to think that the engineering degree would come in handy, but when you're building with sticks, it's probalby not so important.

RougeUnderoos · 03-03-2008, 02:29 PM

The funny thing is, at least in my family, there were countless generations of people who could look after themselves and actually did, stretching back, well, forever I guess. It was only a 3 generations ago that my ancestors got off a train in the middle of the prairies and made a farm out of nothing and built their own house (the first one out of dirt).

That 20th century really softened us up.

Calgaryborn · 03-03-2008, 02:34 PM

I'd be OK for a while. I've got rifles and enough ammo to hunt for several years. I can butcher and smoke meat and have enough good soil to plant a garden. The biggest problem I might run into is too many folks like Resolute 14. If I have to use up all my ammo on raiders I'm not going to have enough for hunting. Guess I'll have to pick up more supplies for reloading.

Hack&Lube · 03-03-2008, 02:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cowperson

Personally, I would fear scurvy in the winter . . . .

Cowperson

If you can build a fire and have some kind of pot, boil pine needles.

fredr123 · 03-03-2008, 02:44 PM

As long as troutman survives, I'll be safe. Society would need someone to keep him in check.

Bill Bumface · 03-03-2008, 02:46 PM

Have you ever tried to start a fire somewhere rainy? Or even somewhere fairly dry without using paper? Without matches or a lighter? It's pretty hard and pretty damn frustrating. We were camping in 10 degree rain near Sylvan Lake last summer, and as it was completely impromptu camping, we had nothing for supplies. It was freezing cold and with several pages of rental agreements from my friend's work truck and a lighter we were completely unable to get the damp wood to light up. We had to drive in and buy some kerosene to finally get the fire to go, and it took almost the whole bottle. Man did those hot dogs taste funky...

In summary, I'd be screwed.

Flashpoint · 03-03-2008, 02:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Resolute 14

I'd just beat up the people who are productive and take their foods.

After they were beaten up by Resolute, I'd eat them. Eventually, I would eat Resolute too.

flylock shox · 03-03-2008, 02:50 PM

Stephen King's The Stand gives a pretty good idea of who'd be necessary post-apocalypse: doctors, those with knowledge of machinery, and old women able to call on the power of God to smite evil-doers.

I'd probably last about 4 days in the wilderness. My job and all my training are entirely academic, and rely on there being some kind of society with rules and organization. Without that context, I'm pretty much just wolf-chow. I'd probably be able to fashion some kind of stick to poke at the wolves with, but I bet they'd figure a way around that, and then I'd be in trouble, because they'd be pissed off about all the poking.

Foodwise I'd probably just try to survive off the corpses of my neighbours until they went bad.

FanIn80 · 03-03-2008, 02:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dion

And when you have no more people to beat up, how are you going to get your food?

By eating all the people that had previously only been beat up, of course.

Azure · 03-03-2008, 02:59 PM

I have Guns and Ammo.....close to the mountains with a huge influx of wildlife.

I'd be set.

GreenLantern · 03-03-2008, 03:05 PM

I can fish, hunt, run and take a punch!

BOW TO ME ROUGEUNDEROOS, AND PRAY THAT I HAVE NEED OF YOU IN MY EMPIRE!

Delthefunky · 03-03-2008, 03:09 PM

I find it somewhat fantastic to think about... I'd get a nice quad and a dirtbike and a few guns and have at 'er.

Montana Moe · 03-03-2008, 03:13 PM

I'd like to think I'd be just fine. I'm a U.S. Marine, and a firefighter. I was raised hunting/fishing and camping in Northeastern Montana. I know how to trap, and how to tan. I can fashion tools, and I have a decent cache of weapons. (Insert Hank, Jr. lyrics)

If we're truly talking survival, I wouldn't be above cannibalism, either.

evman150 · 03-03-2008, 03:14 PM

I can't do anything.

My abilities include, and are pretty much limited to, science (academia in general really), poker, baseball and drinking beer. None of these would be of much help if push came to shove. The academic knowledge would be of some use, the rest would be worth zilch. I really do have no survival skills whatsoever beyond what is within me by virtue of me being human.

Some would say that's enough...or was enough before the sedentarization of our society.

Old Yeller · 03-03-2008, 03:18 PM

Is curling into a fetal ball and crying softly considered useless?

RougeUnderoos · 03-03-2008, 03:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GreenLantern

I can fish, hunt, run and take a punch!

BOW TO ME ROUGEUNDEROOS, AND PRAY THAT I HAVE NEED OF YOU IN MY EMPIRE!

"Will Snivel For Food"

Kidder · 03-03-2008, 03:21 PM

I'm useless; utterly utterly useless.

I'd probably try and provide entertainment and companionship to people like Montana Moe so I could mooch off their resources, and every night pray they don't eat me in my sleep.

Or maybe become one with the wolves and feed off flylock shox dead carcass. Basically, assimilation with a predominant group is my only hope.

burn_this_city · 03-03-2008, 03:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fotze

Do you gun owners actually own them for these types of scenarios? Before you say 'of course not', does it at least enter the back of you mind as a very small selling point when deciding to purchase firearms?

Im sure it does for some of them.. My pops worked with a guy once who had 2 ak-47's buried in his backyard with 2000 rounds of ammo just in case.. My shotgun and .22 would be indispensible to ward off people who wanna beat me up for my food..

I took a 3 week survival course when I was 15, part of it was surviving in the bush for 10 days with a pocket knife and flint.. I did ok, though I never found much to eat.. I just ate berries and whatever else I could stomach, plenty of ants and a few minnows..

troutman · 03-03-2008, 03:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fredr123

As long as troutman survives, I'll be safe. Society would need someone to keep him in check.

Did you ever see the movie Alive?

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0106246/

The amazing, true story of a Uruguayan rugby team's plane that crashed in the middle of the Andes mountains, and their immense will to survive and pull through alive, forced to do anything and everything they could to stay alive on meager rations and through the freezing cold. The only thing the team has riding on after losing so many of their good friends and family members is the slim chance of making it through alive and their faithfulness to God.

We would have to eat you first - crunchy lawyer, mmmmm