A happy man is a Hollow man

[Ford Prefect]

Originally Posted by Dion

It's amazing when ones life bottoms out that we tend to appreciate life a lot more. I'm sure that after that rollover you considered yourself lucky to be alive and maybe felt you were given a new lease on life.

Myself I've been through some very dark times in my life. In fact i consider myself lucky to still be alive today. The silver lining in all this is that i can experience joy in things most people can't. I don't look for happiness in material things or money for that matter. I live each day to it's fullest and have no regrets about the past.

Yup ... there's nothing like a good slap from the U of Hard Knocks to put things in perspective and help one understand what's truly important, and what's trivial and not worth stressing out about.

For example, since I made my original post I opened my mail and found out I've been reassessed on my 2006 personal taxes and they claim I owe an additional $6100. Maybe I do, maybe I don't ... I'll look into it and find out. However, if I do indeed owe the feds another $6100 from last year, the reason I would is because my accountant made a mistake, and the reason she would have made a mistake is because she's dieing of cancer. As a result, she hasn't been on top of things with her work ... I know and understand that. In fact, I recently, and reluctantly, had to find a new accountant due to her battle with cancer adversely affecting her work. So if I owe $6100 in taxes, that's a real hassle, but nothing compared to the reason my accountant would have made this mistake in the first place and what she faces. I'll take my stress over my tax bill 11 times out of 10 compared to the stress she and her family are going through.

[redforever]

Originally Posted by Ford Prefect

Yup ... there's nothing like a good slap from the U of Hard Knocks to put things in perspective and help one understand what's truly important, and what's trivial and not worth stressing out about.

For example, since I made my original post I opened my mail and found out I've been reassessed on my 2006 personal taxes and they claim I owe an additional $6100. Maybe I do, maybe I don't ... I'll look into it and find out. However, if I do indeed owe the feds another $6100 from last year, the reason I would is because my accountant made a mistake, and the reason she would have made a mistake is because she's dieing of cancer. As a result, she hasn't been on top of things with her work ... I know and understand that. In fact, I recently, and reluctantly, had to find a new accountant due to her battle with cancer adversely affecting her work. So if I owe $6100 in taxes, that's a real hassle, but nothing compared to the reason my accountant would have made this mistake in the first place and what she faces.

Yup, when you think you have it bad, usually if you look around and usually you don't even have to look very far, you will find many others far worse off than you.

Our son was hospitalized for a month when he was just turning one year old, osteomyalitis. We thought we were thrown for a real loop. Took only the blink of an eye to see real suffering on that ward. We should all count our blessings, even if we don't have it as good as the next guy.

[Ford Prefect]

Originally Posted by redforever

Yup, when you think you have it bad, usually if you look around and usually you don't even have to look very far, you will find many others far worse off than you.

Our son was hospitalized for a month when he was just turning one year old, osteomyalitis. We thought we were thrown for a real loop. Took only the blink of an eye to see real suffering on that ward. We should all count our blessings, even if we don't have it as good as the next guy.

Absolutely. And I firmly believe that those who suffer their personal misfortune with grace will be rewarded for doing so as well. Call it karma if you wish, but I have seen people who deal well with their problems rewarded ultimately, and those who don't cope well often seem to continue in a downward spiral into their personal abyss.

[Crispy's Critter]

nm

[JohnnyB]

"Develop interest in life as you see it; in people, things, literature, music - the world is so rich, simply throbbing with rich treasures, beautiful souls and interesting people. Forget yourself."
-Henry Miller

Sources of happiness are everywhere, and thinking is really overrated. Just getting on with things is the way to go.

[LeftWing]

Originally Posted by Ford Prefect

I met an RN who became my second wife.

You hooked up with your nurse? That's hot.

[Crazy Flamer]

Originally Posted by Vulcan

What I think is that too many people equate happiness with success or failure. To me true happiness is something that comes from inside and can be experienced even while suffering a loss. A strange duality I admit, but a beautiful feeling and way to spend this moment.

Couldn't agree more.

Happiness does not come from external forces, it comes from a deeper awareness of one's self.

[JohnnyB]

Originally Posted by Crazy Flamer

Couldn't agree more.

Happiness does not come from external forces, it comes from a deeper awareness of one's self.

Happiness doesn't come from awareness of one's self so much as it comes from engaging with external forces (doing things). The only way you learn about yourself is by going out and doing things in the first place, and once you do learn a little about yourself it does you no good to sit around thinking about. You gotta keep engaged with the world, understanding yourself may be a consequence of happiness but it's not a source.

[Hack&Lube]

I think most people know that without saddness, happiness has little poignancy. It's like how eating gets boring if you've never truely been hungry or been loved without being totally lonely. At least for me (the eating part which I don't do much of lately).

[Flames89]

The question is - is happiness different for Men and Women?

In my 10 second, based-on-memory, survey - it seems like most of the guys I know (and on here) tend to be pretty happy most of the time. Generally content.

While the women in my survey have yet to find that same level of contentment ...

[sclitheroe]

Originally Posted by LeftWing

You hooked up with your nurse? That's hot.

Sponge bath!

[Flames89]

Originally Posted by fotze

Nah, men are probably more unhappy but they will never tell anyone about it, whereas women let the entire world know that they are having a bad day. Hell, stubbing their toe becomes a 2 hour story about the incident, where no detail is to small to describe.

Makes sense to me!

That coupled with some of our simple natures. Like Beer = Happy.

[Cowperson]

Originally Posted by sclitheroe

Sponge bath!

I just had a healthy vision of George Castanza visiting his mother in the hospital and . . . . .

I think you need to face adversity/the bottom to truly appreciate the better times.

When Mrs. C and I chucked up about $1,400 to spend a single evening, a recent anniversary, in the penthouse at the Chateau Lake Louise we could look back at that Christmas many years ago when we had exactly $50 to spend on each other for gifts.

Or that $400 I spent entertaining Mrs. C and another lady at a restaurant in New York, after a concert at Carnegie Hall, contrasting nicely with the $20 bill I was staring at that had to feed me for two entire weeks between paycheques many years ago in Peace River (toast and Campbells soup).

Or something as simple as a good run on a fine day.

And other, non-monetary, contrasts as well.

However, below, happiness could be that moment where you stop at the top of the hill to turn around and reflect where you've come from and the effort it took to get there . . . .



Cowperson

[Bill Bumface]

Great photo.

Regarding monetary contrast, I see that play a huge part in people's happiness. I have several friends who were handed everything growing up... University tuition, cars, insurance, gas, cell phones, houses, and really I think the level of appreciation for things is much different for those people. No fault of their own, because who would turn those things down? Their parents all seem to be people who didn't have much early in their lives, and are just trying to provide things for their kids that they never imagined at that age.

Growing up in a house where there were times when the car had to be sold for food, food hampers would show up once in a while, and rent was never a sure thing, my appreication of small things is probably enhanced a bit. There was never money for me to play hockey when I was a kid, so I never actually started until two years ago. Paying my way through University without going into debt is something I'll alwyas be proud of.

My parents now live in your typical 2 story house with attached garage, something I would have considered a rich person's house growing up. It's funny how your perspective changes on what "rich" is as you move up the ladder. Myself, I have a one bedroom place that I'm perfectly content in, despite having the funds for something more. Cars are my only weak point, but I feel privelidged everytime I get in my own car and go for a drive, especially on the days when you remember where you came from, or drive past someone at a bus stop on the weekend.

I'm not sure if my friends who were bought brand new $30,000+ cars have the same feeling. Nothing against them, just a product of your conditions growing up.