crazy emotional and stress problems. please help

[Bobblehead]

I had a friend of the family who insisted that his kids go away to tuniversity since, as he felt, it was a "half step into real life". You get loaded up with stress, but there is still plenty of time and opportunity to re-evaluate where you are going with your life.

You have plenty of options: speak to your family, they know you best; speak to close friends, they also know and care about you; speak to school guidance services, they train for exactly this sort of thing. The big thing is if you are feeling overwhelmed and can't get control, speak to someone.

Originally Posted by Cheese

1. Talk to your parents....NOT a Hockey based message board! Your parents will always be there...they understand stress, they raised you!

Sometimes I think it is easier to talk to an internet message board. You don't need to worry about anonymous people judging you tomorrow, and maybe you just need to get it out, use it as a sounding board, per se. Not that it is the best option, but there are reasons why sometimes it is an anonymous stranger who is the easiest person to open up to.

[kremb]

The other possiblity is that you are having a perfectly sensible response to what is going on around you. I sort of lost my mind in first year engineering too. The contrast of my studies to some of the frightening world views I was learning from peers and exploration was a bit too much for me to handle at 18.

Skim through a couple of drumbeats over at theoildrum.com and see if any of what is being discussed makes sense to you. If you want to get back to 'normal' and continue rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic - DO NOT go to theoildrum.

I know i'm sounding like some Morpheus wannabe but I believe time is so short that someone with a fertile mind and some time to kill over Christmas break might as well know what I(and many others) believe is happening right now.

[jonesy]

1. Engineering gets easier with each year (your 'system' and 'networks' will develop)
2. Break it into smaller pieces. Each term is only 4 months. You can get through 4 months.
3. Don't think about the entire 4 years, that is too much to shoulder at one time.
4. Find some buddies to band together with. (hopfully not negative nellies)

[Phanuthier]

Originally Posted by jonesy

1. Engineering gets easier with each year (your 'system' and 'networks' will develop)

I wouldn't nessasarly say it gets easier, you just get used to it after a while.

[flamesfever]

I would start by writing down all the things that are bothering you. I used to find that just the act of doing this was therapeutic.

I think you should also make sure you are getting lots of sleep.

I would also suggest a visit to your family doctor.

[REDVAN]

I said this in the last help thread and I'll say it again (because it helped me). Go to see the councilors at the U of C on 3rd floor Mac Hall. I used to think it was weak to go to them, until I had no where else to go so I went and it's helped me to turn things around. They let you go for free three times and then after that it costs 25 bucks a pop, so that is really cheap for that kind of help. If it doesn't work for you, you should at least try it!

PM me if you want any names.

[SarichFan]

Simple mindful meditation does wonders aswell, even 10 minutes a day. Sit somewhere quiet, and try and breathe naturally and just observe your thoughts but instead of thinking or dwelling on them, just let them go by.

[OracleOfCalgary]

1) Adjust your expectations. If you were an A student in highschool, you should realistically expect to be a B student in E-school.

2) Drop a class. Some sort of class that isn't an elective for something else. There is no crime in making up the class later.

3) Grades don't mean as much as you think. You will get more mileage if you play recreational hockey than you will from an A average.

4) Try out the cheap counselling that they offer. If for no other reason than this sort of counselling is really expensive in the real world.

[The Yen Man]

What I was able to gradually learn through my univserity career is to not get too down after a bad test. If you do bad or fail, just move on. There's no point getting down about it. It just stresses you out more. And if you are having the hardest time studying for something, then at some point or another, you sometimes have to just go, screw it. At this point, you'll have to re-evaluate whether or not your chosen faculty is fit for you.

Also, learn to adjust your expectations. I came to the realization pretty quick that high school really doesn't mean jack. Just because you did well in high school does not necessarily mean you do good in university. Conversely, just because you did bad in high school also doesn't neccessarily mean you'll do bad in university.

I came out of high school thinking I was the shiznat, getting good grades with minimum work. Yah, that doesn't work in university. Actually, correction. It sometimes works, sometimes doesn't. Some classes you can get by fine that way, some you can't. You just have to recognize what you need to spend more time on, and what you don't need to.

For me, my bad study habits kind of carried through to my university career as well, and I barely got by. Looking back now, I guess if I worked harder, I'm sure I could have acheived higher grades. But honestly, if you're not using grades for scholarships or a prereq for graduate studies, then as long is you pass, it really doesn't mean a whole lot except for bragging rights and ego boosts. Once you're employed, no one cares what you got in university.

[CrusaderPi]

Actually, it sounds like you need some good old fashion random drunken monkey sex.

[FlamingC]

The thing that helped me most when I was in school was having friends in the same boat. Once I knew that I wasn't the only one feeling crushed, I was able to see how they dealt with things and it helped me to decide what I could do about it.

As cliche as it sounds, it gets better and you are not alone.

[McG]

sleep. you aren't getting enough. you need more sleep to process all of the things that are happening around you and for your brain to compartmentalize stuff.

there are some really good things listed above...some really thoughtful stuff. i recommend finding the one that works for you...not all of them will...but not all of them won't if you get my drift. each person has to find what works for them as you can see from this thread.

1st year university...yah...its a tough one. keep this in mind. universities do their best to reduce the hangers on in the first year of school...lots of people aren't committed to going and the schools don't want that. so...focus on the short term goals in school and you will get there. if this is your first year...remember that you just came through half of the toughest year of university for an undergrad...and if you have done that once...you can surely do it again.

find something that makes you laugh and laugh. friends, the lolcats thread, futurama...whatever. when you are laughing...everything gets better. it really does.

remember that when you are in a bad spot you take it out on those that are closest to you...be careful of that when it happens and man up when you have made a mistake.

chin up dude! it seems like a lot but small bites finish even the largest meal.

[Locke]

Take a break. Sleep, exercise, get drunk, whatever. Do whatever it is you do for fun. And let school go for a while.

Stress exists because you're letting things get to you. Slow down, have some fun, while you're at it you'll come up with a plan to sort things out and life will be all good again.

[SarichFan]

Originally Posted by Locke

Take a break. Sleep, exercise, get drunk, whatever. Do whatever it is you do for fun. And let school go for a while.

That's actually probably the worst thing you can do.. While it does give you a stimulant at first, after that it makes you feel worse and could potentially cause you long term reliance on alchohol if you lose control.

The main things you can do is, 1) Not worry about feeling 100% ALL the time 2) Don't overthink things 3) Get excercize, it'll make you feel relax after and the forced oxygen to your brain will help you

The key is to not expect to feel great all day, everyday. Even if you feel like crap, what are you going to do? Let it ride

[Locke]

Originally Posted by SarichFan

That's actually probably the worst thing you can do.. While it does give you a stimulant at first, after that it makes you feel worse and could potentially cause you long term reliance on alchohol if you lose control.

Come on. Really? I think a lot of people jumped onto the amateur 'clinical depression' diagnosis a little soon.

All I'm saying is take your semester break and go have fun with your friends. If that includes having a few beers while watching a hockey game, then so be it. If it means you go skydiving just double-check the chute.

Do whatever it is that you do for fun. School is a routine and a grind. So dont worry about it before its time to go back.

[troutman]

I did a year of Eng at 18 too, and was not ready or suited for it.

I think young people should travel for a long time before deciding on career paths.

[McG]

i should also mention gaming. after a tough day...you will usually find me on the xbox playing a game online or offline. i find its a good stress buster too.

[SarichFan]

Originally Posted by Locke

Come on. Really? I think a lot of people jumped onto the amateur 'clinical depression' diagnosis a little soon.

All I'm saying is take your semester break and go have fun with your friends. If that includes having a few beers while watching a hockey game, then so be it. If it means you go skydiving just double-check the chute.

Do whatever it is that you do for fun. School is a routine and a grind. So dont worry about it before its time to go back.

Yeah, I've just seen far too many people fall into Alchohol during tough times and never get out of it, it had to be said.

[Locke]

Originally Posted by SarichFan

Yeah, I've just seen far too many people fall into Alchohol during tough times and never get out of it, it had to be said.

That, is very true and a good point.