Depression

[Maritime Q-Scout]

I fired off a PM,

That said, it never hurts to laugh (unless you laugh until it hurts I guess). If you ever need to just scroll through random threads on the off topic board here. There's lots of people who are really f*ed up and have a sense of humour that will make you squirt milk out your nose.

This thread's a classic in my opinion and always makes my sides split:

http://forum.calgarypuck.com/showthread.php?t=41781

[ricosuave]

I know that there are good people here, Jiri included , and that may be why I thought it best to post here as opposed to any of the other boards I am on.

Thank you all for the words of support.

[prarieboy]

Rico,

I went down that road a couple of years ago, not a fun time for sure. Some of my friends commented that I looked terrible and I did. Couldn't sleep right, had no enthusiasm for the future, etc. I followed a counselors advice and ended my marriage of 15 years cause I couldn't keep trying to please someone who would never be happy with what I was doing.

I know this isn't your situation but I just use it as an example.

This was the hardest thing I ever did. I thought I should stick it out cause that's what your supposed to do and was scared of being alone. Years later my life has never been better. I have a new wife and the child that I always dreamed of. My friends say I look great too!!!

What I'm trying to say is that there is alternatives to the what is causing you to feel that way. If it's your job get a new one, if it's where you live, move, if it's your family, don't see them as much.
Change what's bothering you and you will change your life. I'd suggest talking to someone profesional about it. Doctors will likely have a prescription solution, counselors will help you through talking about it. Maybe the solution lies in both area's. I can only comment from personal experiences.
For what it's worth I've been on this site along time and always thought your posts were worth reading and you contribute to CalgaryPuck in a positive way.
Get better, life's to short to spend it wallowing in that quagmire.

[redforever]

Good luck Rico, and don't take no from the doctors if they refuse to listen to you. If one is not working for you, find another, there is a solution for you, hang in there.

As troutman mentioned, sometimes it is a chemical imbalance. Our niece has that, she is bipolar, will be for the rest of her life, but she is on medication for it and has a full life now, what the rest of us call "normal".

I think you have taken the first two steps, you have talked to a professional and you have admitted to yourself and to others that you have a problem. I am sure the third step will be finding the solution, good luck on your journey.

[Hack&Lube]

People who haven't experienced it, often have no idea what it is like, or simply lack the ability to empathize, just remember that when you're talking to people.

[Locke]

Originally Posted by Maritime Q-Scout

I fired off a PM,

That said, it never hurts to laugh (unless you laugh until it hurts I guess). If you ever need to just scroll through random threads on the off topic board here. There's lots of people who are really f*ed up and have a sense of humour that will make you squirt milk out your nose.

This thread's a classic in my opinion and always makes my sides split:

http://forum.calgarypuck.com/showthread.php?t=41781

ROFL!! Pirates, Ninjas and Ghostbusters, that thread has it all!

Humour is my preferred method of coping with life, and on this board I try and make enough jokes to keep a small town laughing.

Hopefully humour works for you too.

[PowerPlayoffs06]

Originally Posted by fotze

You have to get a new job, I worked in the same type of place as you do, a place with beaurocracy if you catch my drift. I didn't even realize how much I absolutely hated my job until I got a different one. I bet you have the same fears as I did, getting fired from the new job, leaving your comfort zone, job security gone.

Your job was the first possible symptom you mentioned so it is likely the biggest cause, start working on the resume, there is no possible better time to look for another job. Tackle this issue first and possibly the other ones won't be such a problem. It worked for me.

Also, get your blood pressure checked. If you happen to be a person with high blood pressure, there can be definate symptoms of extreme anxiety which can make things worse, a feeling of being trapped.

Quoted for truth.

I was in the same situation a couple years ago. Loathed my job, despised the company I worked for but felt trapped by exactly the fears fotze described. I was on anti-depressants for a time and eventally I went on doctor prescribed stress leave for three months when things at work got progressively worse and the turn around in my attitude and outlook in that time was incredible. All my friends and family noticed a huge change in me once I was no longer burdened with the bull I put up with at work. I realized the place was killing me and I had to get out of there.

Now Im working for a new company and things have done a complete 180 in the rest of my life. I went off the meds shortly after leaving the old job. My disposition is a thousand times better, my attitude and mood and even my health are better.

Give some serious thought to fotzes advice.

Good luck man.

[flylock shox]

Good on you for posting this Rico. You're not alone in having thoughts and feelings like those you've posted here, and I'm sure this thread will be of some help to others who find themselves in like positions.

It doesn't sound to me like you're someone who's just going through a rough patch in his life, and who will be right as rain as soon as your most immediate worries wash away. At the same time, the fact that you recognize the good things and people in your life, and have put up with these feelings for 10 years now, suggests you're not in dire straits yet. My impression of your situation from what you wrote, and how you wrote it, is that you don't have very deep emotional reserves - maybe as a result of the lack of support and security in your childhood. For whatever reason, it sounds like you're easily derailed, and when that happens, you don't have a lot of pillowy soft memories and self-confidence to fall back on. What you would really benefit from is 2 things: (1) Some adjustments in your life to remove those things that derail you - in this sense, a new work environment may be the best thing to ever happen to you; and (2) some training developing better coping skills, so that when bad things happen to you, you don't enter into a spiral, but rather seek out those things and people which offer you support and in which you find meaning.

Be careful in choosing who you seek out for professional help for this. Remember that General Practitioners only receive the most rudimentary psychiatric training, and are likely inclined to write you a prescription, rather than teach you life skills. My impression from what you've written is that you're more in need of someone to speak honestly to, and someone who can offer you practical advice. Medication might offer a temporary reprieve, and could be useful in getting you back on track and allowing you to take the steps necessary to improve your life and how you feel about it, but pills don't sound like the long-term solution for you. You should be speaking to a specialist, someone who understands human thoughts and emotions as well as human biology.

Whatever you do, good luck with it. Just remember - feeling this way isn't something that has to be permanent. Seems to me you've already taken some steps to feeling better.

Keep taking them.

[bigtmac19]

Good luck! My very best wishes to you. I too had a serious depression about 8 years ago after my divorce. It took a lot of counselling and some medication to pull out of it. It was very hard trying to work and take care of kids all through as well. I did make a job change during that time and it helped. I took a similar job, but in a smaller company, where there was a much less stressful environment. I know what you are going through and I wish you all the best. It is a very hard road, but with the support of your wife and the proper help, I believe you will make it through. Take care.

[ken0042]

Originally Posted by fotze

Sometime I think its worse than "ups and downs". Why don't you just tell him to turn that frown upside down?

Also, just trying to cheer you up at Ken's expense,..

Point taken. And no, I wasn't trying to say that somebody who has "ups and downs" is in the same league as depression. However I do think that in addition to the help you get Rico, it's good that you don't forget about people who consider you to be a friend. Because although it may not seem like it at times, you have friends here.

[Incinerator]

My sincere wishes for you to get better soon rico, I think I speak for most people here when I say that CP is a fairly tight-knit community and we're all rootin' for you, because you're one of our own. Keep up the good fight bud

[Igottago]

You are not alone man...many people deal with depression, I have been dealing with anxiety/depression for the last year or so...the good news is it does get better, with the right help..and you seem to be doing the right thing by actively seeking out help.

And as others have mentioned, don't be afraid to turn to your family and friends when you need them the most..that's what they are there for.

It takes a great deal of courage to talk about this here, most people (especially guys) are afraid to admit there might be a problem. I think that stigma prevents a lot of people from getting the help they need.

[habernac]

You've taken huge steps, Rico, just by getting it out there. Some terific posts in this thread. It's been a good day for that at CP.

[Phaneuf3]

my advice:
TALK. talk a lot. friends and family are great for this. DEFINITELY look at counseling though and stick with it. having someone who is removed from all the other situations and has no other interest other than seeing you get better is a great resource. also - its easier to open up and be 100% honest with someone who won't be hurt or shocked or anything like that by anything you say is great. it gives you a real opportunity to work through everything with some help with someone where nothing you say can damage any relationship, etc.

the second main thing i can offer you: depression and alcohol/drugs make a NASTY mix. don't even go there. you can't pick yourself up and get better if you're self medicating with a depressant. while you're working through this, go completely clean and sober.

[Crazy Flamer]

Rico,

It takes a tremendous amount of courage to face and battle the demons of depression, especialy after so many years of leaving the issue unaddressed. I too struggled for several years, knowing that things were not right in my life, before finally realizing myself I needed some help. That was several years ago now, but looking back on it, it was one of the best decisions I made in my life.

Suffering from depression is certainly nothing to be embaressed about and neither is getting help for it. I would recommend seeing a counsellor/therapist. Talking to a professional may help you see you life through a different light and you may learn how to deal with your issues while also gaining skills that will aid you in knowing how to cope with future adversities. You can even PM me if you need a recommendation.

And it may also be that you need to be put on some sort of medication. Sometimes depression is caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain and anitdepressants can help with that as well.

[KTown]

I went through depression it was accute but severe, there was no major reason for having it but it first started with physical symptoms, I went to the doctor and they couldn't find anything wrong with me, I went for a ton of tests, the doctor had me try to talk to someone, at first I was like shes crazy because I'm too proud and depression could never happen to me, after months went by with sleeping not eating properly. I finally went and saw someone when I started wondering what it would be like to die. This started leading to panic attacks. Once I saw someone just twice, I knew the key was too just work through it.

Here were my steps to curing my 6 month depression.

1) Tell your wife
2) Tell your family
3) Keep your same routine daily.
4) Relax for a bitwhen you get home from work, take a bath or whatever.
5) Exercise, it releases alot of chemicals.
6) Some people turn to god, I never did, but I heard it helps.
7) Get medication, I never did, I hate pills if there not life or death.

The days slowly got easier and with time I've been myself the past 3 years, I still get moments of short term depression but the fact that I know I can beat it now definately helps.

[BlackArcher101]

nm

[redforever]

I would like to add, don't leave out any avenues, be open to many things that might be the cause of your depression. But at the same time, don't just go on a lot of medication without researching what it is for etc. And don't let a doctor just put you on medication to shut you up or because he does not know what else to do.

I mentioned previously that my niece is bipolar. She was lucky that a teacher at her school thought her symptoms were of a bipolar personality and it was that teacher who started the process of getting her referred to the appropriate people. Her life was a mess at that time too, she was much younger of course, early teens, had problems in school, had problems at home, not a happy scene. She got the appropriate counselling and also got referred to a doctor specializing in bipolar disorders. Then she was hospitalized, it took almost a month to find out what the imbalances were in her brain and then with trial and error, they finally found the appropriate medication. And it turned out NOT to be an antidepressant. Instead, she is on tegretol, which is mainly used to prevent seizures. In her case, her brain has very very small tremors and when that happens, her mood changes. Anyhow, as I said, she has changed her life around, she came to live with us for 2 years to finish her highschool and by that time had matured enough and been away from the other scene long enough to get refocused. She will always need her meds though.

So like I said, keep your options open. and good luck!!!

[REDVAN]

I sent rico a PM, but this is a problem a lot of people go through. I have become all too familiar with this recently, and I don't want to spill the beans because I know some people on this board personally...

BUT.

Don't take the drugs. You need to learn to get through this on your own. There are mental processes you can learn, and completely change the way you think about yourself!

Be the type of person you want your friends to be, and then you will find out who your real friends are. You might find that people who were just casual friends become closer, or people who were really good friends aren't.

Take a couple days off work if you can. Don't do anything. Think. Feel like crap, feel the feelings you need to feel. Think about them, think about why. Get in touch with yourself any way you know how. Don't hide from those who are close to you. It's a hard thing to say, but if you are afraid to share your feelings, because someone won't love you or they won't want to hear it, that might be part of your problem. Find someone who will listen and care. Even on CP you could find someone willing to go for coffee.

Try something new. Start working out if you don't. Try a new sport. Pick up a hobby. FIND AN OLD FRIEND AND MEET UP WITH THEM. (Find someone new you want to be friends with!) Especially someone you were close with- if you just drifted apart they can be a rock that you might need. Go view some scenery somewhere. Spend time with your pet. Don't avoid your feelings, because you can't hide from them forever, and the longer you hide the worse you'll feel in the meantime.

These are some simple things I am suggesting, but sometimes all you need is time. If you want to go through this on your own without drugs, then take the time to sit back and remember who you are. Think about what you want to be. Lots of thinking. Get some new help if you need it. And don't be afraid to post things on a message board, because there are a lot of caring people out there. Sometimes all you have to do is ask for help and I bet people on here would reach out to help, myself included.

[Phanuthier]

Originally Posted by REDVAN

Don't take the drugs. You need to learn to get through this on your own. There are mental processes you can learn, and completely change the way you think about yourself!

Funny, I suffer from depression as a result of a thyroid problem. I never took drugs for the potential reason of that. The prescription is still sitting in the drawer.

I'm not a doctor, so I didn't want to give an opinon, but from what you and BA101 said, I guess I'd like to add, I don't think drugs are the solution. I find other means which are working right now.

I really would like to help and give advice rico, but I don't think I could give any useful advice without knowing you. I'm glad you went public, shows courage, but if you ever need, fire me off a PM. While I don't know as much about depression, I've delt with a few suicide prevention cases.