Best bar/pub to meet a man?

[Iowa_Flames_Fan]

Originally Posted by FireFly

Not so much at Telus, and at the Flames... well, it's the Flames. Yes there are hot boys that work there, but as I said, I'm shy and uncomfortable asking them out.

I definitely don't have the moral high ground to make this comment--I too am really shy, and I'm lucky to have found my wife when I did. But--what's the worst that could happen? Just ask a guy out for a coffee--odds are he'll say yes and you'll discover whether he's interested over a cup of joe--all leisurely-like. There will be no losing face--most guys will have a coffee with you rather than shoot you down on the spot. Worst case scenario--you've made a new friend.

[Reggie Dunlop]

Originally Posted by FireFly

well, it's the Flames. Yes there are hot boys that work there, but as I said, I'm shy and uncomfortable asking them out.

Ask Dion to build some furniture for you.

[FireFly]

Originally Posted by Iowa_Flames_Fan

I'm the last person who should be giving dating advice--I've been married since 1998. But I want to echo the comment that you might not want to meet men at a bar at all. My advice is to get involved in some activities--a recreational sports team (soccer, floor hockey, baseball) and see if you can meet single men that way. If you like playing pool and are good at it (I'm envious of that, btw) then why not a pool league? Do such things exist? Failing that, a yoga class, or some such thing--all of these are better ways to meet someone that you'll automatically have more in common with than the instant of attraction in a bar--and it sounds to me like that isn't really your style in any case.

The problem is I just don't have a style. I just don't know how to randomly ask a person out. I did it once when I was 12. Even if I was to join some sort of league, I'd likely still have issues asking people out. I want to know first if a guy is single before putting myself on the line... I think that's my biggest issue. I don't like to jump into such things with both feet, I want to know if I'm trying to poach as I'm not big on poaching.

[Dion]

Originally Posted by FireFly

Not so much at Telus, and at the Flames... well, it's the Flames. Yes there are hot boys that work there, but as I said, I'm shy and uncomfortable asking them out.

Then maybe you need to step out of your comfort zone and take a few risks. FWIW I was always a shy person myself when it came to the opposite sex. It doesn't have to anything as a big as asking them out. Try starting some small talk and getting them to talk about themselves. See if you can form some friendships and take it from there. It's always worked for me when it came to gals.

[Iowa_Flames_Fan]

Originally Posted by FireFly

The problem is I just don't have a style. I just don't know how to randomly ask a person out. I did it once when I was 12. Even if I was to join some sort of league, I'd likely still have issues asking people out. I want to know first if a guy is single before putting myself on the line... I think that's my biggest issue. I don't like to jump into such things with both feet, I want to know if I'm trying to poach as I'm not big on poaching.

Poach away! If he's single, great. If he's married, he's super-flattered and you made his week. Either way, no-one gets hurt, really.

(If he's married and still interested, run far away!)

[vanisleflamesfan]

Jerry Seinfeld’s take on this question:

Let me tell you a little bit about our organization. Where ever women are, we have a man working on the situation right now. Now, he may not be our best man, OK, we have a lot of areas to cover, but someone from our staff is on the scene. That’s why, I think, men get frustrated, when we see women reading articles, like: “Where to meet men?”. We’re here, we are everywhere.

And the bit about ‘us’ being ‘everywhere' is really, really accurate in Calgary where there are more men than women. Calgary is the only major city in Canada to have this problem (I don't count Edmonton as a major city).

From the Calgary Herald:

According to Statistics Canada data pegging population numbers in major centres as of July 1, 2006, Calgary's metropolitan area has 557,909 men and 549,333 women -- a difference of more than 8,500. Edmonton's numbers are much closer, with about 1,200 more men than women.
Men aged 25 to 64 make up 30 per cent of Calgary's population, the highest percentage of men in that category compared with any other big city in Canada. Nationally, men in that group make up 27.9 per cent of the population.


So I suppose the point is, there are so many men here, you can find them anywhere! Bars might not be the best choice if you are looking for a 'nice' guy.

[underGRADFlame]

Well Firefly, for me its encouraging to see a girl have the same problem I do with women LOL.

[Dion]

http://www.wikihow.com/Ask-a-Guy-Out

[Reaper]

Originally Posted by FireFly

Are you saying that good men never go to bars?

Good men go to bars to screw skanks.

[RW99]

If you're shy, going to the bar wouldn't really help. And bars might not be the best place. Most of my girlfriends have come from work or other friends. Mainly due to the fact that I like to know them first before I make the plunge. You said that you've tried looking about anywhere else. Does that include volunteering, clubs or associations that share common views or hobbies, etc?

[Maritime Q-Scout]

For a girl I don't think there's much to be afraid of. Guys know how hard and difficult it can be to ask someone out, and put yourself on the line. The social norm says we have to, so if you do, we'll be flattered, and if we don't want to go on a date or enter into a relationship, we'll be polite and more than likely have an unrelated excuse as to why we can't. At least that's how I handle situations that arise of a girl being forward with me.

If anything, even if the guy isn't interested, he'll have an ego boost and think "yep, still got it!"

Best advice I can give would be to start small and just make eye contact and smile. Maybe throw in a hi as you walk by. Trust me this will make you both giddy like and 8 year old school girl.

I think most guys like to be approached as it helps relieve the stress/pressure of us going up to you. Bringing up something different or cool that they might have on them is a good idea as well, my Facebook costume on Halloween certainly did the trick for having hot girls come up and start talking to me. If a guy's wearing a Flames hat, or a cool watch, or something say "hey cool, _________" or "love the _______". If he's receptive start talking, if not just walk away no harm no foul. (Unfortunately this is more difficult for guys as we can't comment on the first things we see like "nice rack" or "great ass").

Hope that helps . . . as for the names of bars to meet good guys, ummmmm, just ask me where I'll be drinking on any given night and that'll be where the good guys will be :P

[Deelow]

Originally Posted by Reaper

Good men go to bars to screw skanks.

Ha
Maybe not "screw" skanks....but Reaper is pretty much right. No guy is going to the bar to meet the woman of his dreams. I'm sure sometimes that happens but believe me it's not what he's aiming for. Your problem will be that you and any man you meet at the bar will have different goals for the relationship (assuming you want more than a one night relationship). Be warned, 95% of the time you will be viewed as a piece of meat before anything else. If you're cool with that then the bar is fine

[Locke]

Go to a bar that you like. Thats key. It will help build a relateable base and unifying characteristics.

I also agree with the league suggestion. Go out and do something you enjoy like soccer, pool, bowling, hockey, whatever. If you like it, and you meet someone there who likes it, then perfect. You'll have common ground, no ice to be broken. Its where I met my girlfriend, playing co-ed rec soccer. Plus, you can go out for beers after games.

Common interests is the best method of finding compatibility.

[FireFly]

Originally Posted by Deelow

Ha
Maybe not "screw" skanks....but Reaper is pretty much right. No guy is going to the bar to meet the woman of his dreams. I'm sure sometimes that happens but believe me it's not what he's aiming for. Your problem will be that you and any man you meet at the bar will have different goals for the relationship (assuming you want more than a one night relationship). Be warned, 95% of the time you will be viewed as a piece of meat before anything else. If you're cool with that then the bar is fine

I can't see myself being viewed as meat at a pub when I'm fully clothed and not dressed skanky at all. As well, I wouldn't just sleep with men I would meet at a bar, I might give out my number though.

As a side note, the first experiment went rather well tonight. Flirted with a couple guys, had someone buy me a drink, and just generally broke the nervousness barrier I've been facing. No one I'd be interested in dating, but it was nice to know I can still flirt if the occasion arises. I just need to find a better bar.

[jammies]

Originally Posted by FireFly

I can't see myself being viewed as meat at a pub when I'm fully clothed and not dressed skanky at all.

You gravely underestimate the power of the male mind to see you as unclothed no matter what you are wearing.

Originally Posted by FireFly

As a side note, the first experiment went rather well tonight. Flirted with a couple guys, had someone buy me a drink, and just generally broke the nervousness barrier I've been facing. No one I'd be interested in dating, but it was nice to know I can still flirt if the occasion arises. I just need to find a better bar.

I'd say your first priority should not be looking for a pub with lots of guys, but looking for a pub you really like and see what guys show up over a few visits; you improve your chances of finding a guy who is compatible with you that way - after all, you like the same kind of place, so there must be some common ground! Quality over quantity is always the way to go.

To that end, I would recommend visiting several pubs in one night (making sure you start early, before the lineups, and maybe even on a weeknight) to maximize your chances of finding a congenial drinkin' environment. One pub a weekend and you could be a good long while finding a place you really like, unless your friends are hopeless drunks like mine and already have some suggestions on where you would fit in.

[sadora]

Working at a pub myself I can say that unless you're looking for just something fun, to shun away from the idea altogether. That said, I'll let you in on a little secret. Most guys find the idea of being approached by a woman very appealing, especially if it's unexpected.

[Neeper]

What's wrong with maybe having a blind date with someone on CP? I am sure there are lots of nice guys here, and you'll have at least 1 thing in common that you both love. If they are a regular poster, then it will feel like you already kind of know them and their personality, some what anyways. Someone who might be interested can send you a PM. And meet at a sports bar and have a few drinks and watch a road game. Since blind dates are some what awkward, he can bring a friend and you can bring a friend. There's less pressure that way. I really think you should consider it. It would be better than meeting a random guy at a random bar.

[TheyCallMeBruce]

I agree with Neeper. Most guys here are only creepy in the hilarious way.

[REDVAN]

This (meeting guys) is a problem for many girls... and as a 23 year old single guy, meeting girls is a problem too- I don't like the club scene which is where most girls my age like to go.

Where do all the women hang out? I know this board is mostly men, so it's hard for them to know where women hang out, but where can you meet normal women!?!

(I also miss the Prez more than words can express)

[Caged Great]

Originally Posted by REDVAN

This (meeting guys) is a problem for many girls... and as a 23 year old single guy, meeting girls is a problem too- I don't like the club scene which is where most girls my age like to go.

Where do all the women hang out? I know this board is mostly men, so it's hard for them to know where women hang out, but where can you meet normal women!?!

(I also miss the Prez more than words can express)

I'm in the same boat. I'm 22, can't stand the club scene and can't really find any women who I have a lot of common interests with. It really tortures me that I'm a class with 30 women and 2 guys and all the girls I'm interested in are seeing someone already....