Here's a odd/funny one.
Used to work tech support for a large american internet provider similar to Shaw. They used similar motorola modems as shaw now does.
I get a call, about 30 minutes left in my shift. I'm not your typical csr and try to get people off the phone or hang up on em... I actually try to resolve the issue. So this woman calls up and right off the bat announces loudly that her internet doesn't work and she wants it to work right this moment. I calm her down enough to cooperate with me. Now, the first step of troubleshooting is to powercycle/reboot the modem and/or router. Trouble is... we can't seem to find the modem. I know what model she has and what it looks like, so I'm trying to describe this slim, tall black box with 4 green and 1 orange light on the front of it. Apparently she can see it, but it has Dell on the front of it. I tell her that's the PC. She still can't seem to find it. I try to get her to follow the cords, but there's too many and she can't decipher them. Normally, we send a tech at this point, but she won't have any of it.
So nearly 45 minutes later (now in OT, early am, last agent on the floor), and after looking up and down the house and the rafters in the basement she just can't find it. Then I remember she had told me earlier when tracing the cables. She said that one of the cables was plugged into the Dell thingy, then went back inside the dell thingy... strange. I ask her what the end of the cable looks like... big telephone cable. AH HA! Found you.
Then she says... Oh! I see the black thingy! It's inside the computer!. That's right folks... she had the motorola cable modem INSIDE the case of the dell computer. Apparently she thought it had to be inside since she heard the term internal modem before. I put her on mute and laughed my arse off. A quick unplug of the power cable, power back up and voila, back online.
My thanks? A quick reply of "Whatever" and a click in my hear when I ask if there was anything else I could help her with.
Another one:
Woman calls in (I'm seeing a pattern here), and tells me her internet doesn't work. I pull up her account, and see her modem online. I start going through the troubleshooting steps, only to find out 20 minutes in that she actually isn't at home, and is currently using her laptop. She wasn't following my steps and was lying. Yay, I love that.
So I ask why she is calling us when her internet at home is working, but she can't get online with her laptop apparently in a library... but wait... she's in another state althogether... and one we don't service. Get's even better... She actually thought having the internet at home, and having a wireless connection on her laptop would allow her access to the internet anywhere she goes. Here she was at least 200 miles away, and she won't grasp the idea of the effective radius of the wireless signal from her home. She starts saying it's all a conspiracy and how we are out to scam people out of their money. At this point, she rambled on and on and I didn't pay attention. I had also gathered a crowd around me with the phone on speaker. Quite a funny one she was.
And another one:
I'll keep this short as this is just an odd one. Guy calls up, says his problem is that the garage door makes the internet stop. I ask some prodding questions in order to put the details in the techs workorder... the more the better for these kind of issues. Sure enough, the guy is in the garage and when I hear the door start to open, the modem goes offline. No more troubleshooting as their is obviously a problem on his end.
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Plus I tought him a lesson to not leave his connection open.