Need some help...

[calf]

Originally posted by Deelow+Oct 24 2004, 03:14 PM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (Deelow @ Oct 24 2004, 03:14 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin-calf@Oct 24 2004, 08:19 PM
If there's one thing I've learned in apx 21 years, it's that parents always know when you've been lying to them...always.

No they don't, especially if you don't have a BS track record.
[/b][/quote]
Maybe I'm just a bad liar :darnkids:



But CaramonLS - you know your situation far better than the rest of us, so do what's best for you - and what you feel will get that weight off your shoulders. Hopefully things start with a clean slate after that

[CaramonLS]

...

[albertGQ]

nm

[Cowboy]

Well if they are asking you to produce documents to prove what you have been telling them is true...Calf was right , they have a pretty good Idea that you have been lying to them and have probably already prepared themselves for that.
You will be alright...but I suggest once you get throught this one you keep your nose clean when dealing with your parents...you have to let them gain some trust back. Don't tell them what they want to hear, tell them the truth.

[albertGQ]

If you have to provide documents and you have none, you will have no choice but to come clean. Good luck man

[Cowboy]

Originally posted by albertGQ@Oct 24 2004, 04:25 PM
If you have to provide documents and you have none, you will have no choice but to come clean. Good luck man

I think that would be why he is refering to tomorrow as D-day, we have all assumed he doesn't have the documents.

[Cowperson]

Originally posted by lucid@Oct 24 2004, 10:15 PM
Cow suggests phoning... I personally hate discussing important things over the phone. I'm more for in-person, or better yet, writing it down (followed up by a good face to face talk).

As others have suggested, honesty and the whole truth is the best way to go. It's a tough spot to be in, but I'm a firm believer that things happen for a reason, and though it might be h*ll right now, there's nowhere to go but up.

Good luck.

I said phoning was the chicken way out, not the preferred way.

The only thing I would add is that when they're screaming at you and pointing their fingers at you that you just sit there and take it and nod your head and agree with them. Don't give them an argument and keep the excuses to yourself.

That will be the fastest way to get it behind you and the fastest way to mend fences.

Cowperson

[Cowboy]

Originally posted by fotze@Oct 24 2004, 04:50 PM
I hope it's not something like, 'I dropped out of medical school and transferred into general studies'.

I have some buddies whose parents are just bloody insane, you have to be a doctor or lawyer, nothing else will satisfy. If this is the case, keep lying.

I know a person who faked that she was going to university for an entire year. Later she denied being pregnant until the test she was required to take during labour.

I don't think Dropping out of Med School for General Studies is that bad...Just because you don't want to do what your parents want you to doesn't make you wrong...If that was the case I say who gives a sh*t...except for the lying part. I think Caramon case has more to do with him screwing around.

I heard of Guy that said he went to school for 2 years, worked a night job, lied to the girl he was engaged to the whole time until she asked him to log on to the UofC infonet and prove it to her. They found out he was lying. Big blow up, then she found out that the engagement ring he gave her was a complete fake....

[KevanGuy]

Originally posted by lucid@Oct 24 2004, 04:15 PM
... or better yet, writing it down (followed up by a good face to face talk).

Wow. Man, I NEVER write anything like that down. It could so easily be used against you at a later date. NEVER put ANYTHING in writing. Impossible to deny later.

[Cowboy]

Originally posted by KevanGuy+Oct 24 2004, 05:14 PM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (KevanGuy @ Oct 24 2004, 05:14 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin-lucid@Oct 24 2004, 04:15 PM
... or better yet, writing it down (followed up by a good face to face talk).

Wow. Man, I NEVER write anything like that down. It could so easily be used against you at a later date. NEVER put ANYTHING in writing. Impossible to deny later. [/b][/quote]
Reading your post and then taking a quick glance over at your avatar...it really seems to bring the whole effect....

I love it!!

[Mean Mr. Mustard]

Well if you got expelled RUN! fast and hard!

[lucid]

Originally posted by Cowboy+Oct 24 2004, 05:17 PM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (Cowboy @ Oct 24 2004, 05:17 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'>

Wow. Man, I NEVER write anything like that down. It could so easily be used against you at a later date. NEVER put ANYTHING in writing. Impossible to deny later.

Reading your post and then taking a quick glance over at your avatar...it really seems to bring the whole effect....

I love it!! [/b][/quote]
Had myself a little laugh there.

As for writing things down, I didn't say you had to keep it! (Or let whoever reads it keep it). Burn it, destroy it... do whatever with it. Sometimes it's just easier to write things down when the words won't come out right or emotions are running way too high. Personal preference on how to deal with things, i guess.

[Superfraggle]

Tell the whole truth straight out to their face and don't sugar coat. Parent's HAVE to love and (eventually) forgive you.

[BlackArcher101]

Just write an e-mail to your parents and never reply back, it seems to work. At least it did for my ex. :darnkids:

Seriously though, if you have a hard time telling it to their face, then either call, or if you are really afraid, write a letter. I'm on academic probation at my school (for reasons I wish not to get into, heheh), and I update my dad on how it's going marks wise every week. As soon as I tell that first lie though, it'll just get worse, because I'll have to lie further to cover up that lie.

Hope it works out for you though. Without knowing the situation you are in, it's hard to give good advice on strategy.

[FlamesAllTheWay]

One small bit of advice is pick a good time to actually confront them about it. Talking to them after they get home from a stressful day of work is bad. Talking to them after they get home from church, closed a big business deal, etc, is good...

[jam26]

No matter what it is...it'll be fine in the end.

[moon]

Originally posted by Lanny_MacDonald+Oct 24 2004, 01:08 PM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (Lanny_MacDonald @ Oct 24 2004, 01:08 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin-CaramonLS@Oct 24 2004, 07:48 PM
Kind of a complex situation I have going here... I haven't been truthful to my parents for a little while now... and well the situation has arose where I need to come clean. I am not going to discuss the details, but I need to come clean about this issue by tommorrow.

Its a major life affecting thing.. I just want the best way to tell the people involved I've lied to them...

I'd say to call President Bush for advice, but he hasn't figured that out yet either! [/b][/quote]
Unbelievable that you would bring this up!!

Makes me feel good for voting for the right man and great president.


Not trying to highjack your thread Carmon but as a person who has been in what would seem to be a similar situation I would recommend you tell them as they can actually help yu get out of it rather than get in further trouble which is easy to get into.

[photon]

I'm with Cow, just tell them, let them say whatever they say and just nod, agree, and take it. Getting into an argument will make it orders of magnitude worse.

No one likes to be lied to. If you go in expecting severe consequences you won't be suprised when they happen.

I would have suggested starting some sort of progress towards reparations to help soften the blow a bit (NOT to absolve yourself of responsibility), but it doesn't sound like the situation lends itself to that.

The fact that you're coming clean because you are cornered is the toughest part; if you were coming clean because the guilt got to you then they might have some empathy for you, but this way...

Isn't "Are you sorry you lied or sorry you got caught?" the favorite question of parents everywhere?

[habernac]

Sounds like something my older brother got himself into once. Mom & Dad were paying for his education. Problem was, he hadn't been going for close to a year. Yeah, they were pretty p*ssed for a little while. But they got over it.

[Maritime Q-Scout]

here's what I'm getting from this:

parents are paying for school, and helping with living expenses (mine are with me as well) which leads me to believe that they care about you and want the best for you. They're willing to do alot of you, and want to see you succeed, and be happy in life. Set you on the right path sort of speak

which means, that while they will be upset about lying to them (something I try and avoid at all costs, and do a good job with I think) and any anger will be directed at them thinking that you're hurting yourself, or worse you're hurting their child's chances at a future of grandure. They won't like that.

However if whatever you did is what you want to do, they'll come to terms with it and support you (as evidenced by the paying for tutition living fees etc).

Come clean, they sound more than reasonable, but the info given they want whats best for you, and not to "tear you a new one" because you mismanged their money (or whatever).

if it is money, realize it's nothing more than a medium of exchange. Orson Wells said it best when he wrote "it's not hard to make alot of money; if all you want to do is make alot of money"

Before you go to talk to them the last piece of advice I'd give is stop by the drugstore and pick up a bottle of water and a bottle of siberian ginseng, it helps to reduce stress. It reccomends to take one three times a day, I'd take 3 or 4 before seeing your parents (but I'm no doctor).

Good luck, but you won't need it, you'll be fine