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Old 02-04-2007, 09:17 PM   #21
redforever
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On a more serious note now, children are indeed a gift. It is hard being a parent, but as others have said, the rewards far outweigh the trials and tribulations. Yes, you are a parent for the rest of your life, you will never stop worrying about them, but treasure them and love them , love them, love them. You can spoil a child by buying them too much or giving them too much, but you can never spoil or ruin a child by loving them too much.
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Old 02-04-2007, 09:23 PM   #22
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I would personally have more than 1 child, I grew up in a multi child house and I cant imaging not growing up with my brother, best friend, always is and always will be. You need people like that or the kid has a high chance of becoming spoiled.

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Old 02-04-2007, 09:26 PM   #23
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Plus first time parents are idiots, making the first born a write off. Having two or more means you'll have an even money chance of creating a few properly functioning adults.
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Old 02-04-2007, 09:35 PM   #24
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HAHAHAHAHA!!!!! wait)))
This made me laugh too!

Changing quicksand poop is nothing compared to parenting a teenager! I'd take projectile vomit and the great and glorious nose picking years over a teenager anyday. Good luck and have fun Pope!
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Old 02-04-2007, 09:46 PM   #25
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Well I don't have any kids, and don't know if it's in the cards for my wife and I. One of our biggest drawbacks is that she says she would stop at one, whereas I say we either have 0 or we have 2. Than again she grew up in a house where her sister was 8 years older than her and moved out when she was 10. So for a lot of her life she was sort of like an only child. Whereas my brother and I are less than a year apart and did everything together growing up.

Not that it's of any relevance but our first dog giving us all sorts of trouble and us having a tough time adjusting. But the second dog has been really easy and having two of them is not that much different than having one. So despite putting the wife through another 9 months of agony, I'd hope kids would be the same way. Of course hope is usually false.
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Old 02-04-2007, 09:53 PM   #26
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My daughter is four now. We're thinking of having one more, but didn't even consider the notion of #2 until she was older than three.
It is not easy, though it might get easier with a big sister. That could be the answer, but if we can't have a second we're fine with that too.
I have a 5 year old son, and a 4 month old son. At this age, he's actually pretty interested and easy going with the baby, and also helps out in the car etc. Younger kids (toddlers) sometimes have jealousy issues.

We didn't plan on having two children 5 years apart, but you play the cards that you are dealt, and I'm glad they're both here now. Like others have said, I still have a strong bond with my brother, and wouldn't miss him for the world.

I know some messed up people also, and they tend to be only children more often than not.
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Old 02-04-2007, 11:36 PM   #27
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I think everyone should be keeping it to one or two kids.
Oh, how I disagree with that statement. If that was the case I wouldn't have my wonderful 2 year old daughter. We are bringing our kids up right and they will turn out to be fully functioning, good members of society. I would prefer to bring even more good people into the world. What exactly is wrong with that? (Maybe we should try for a fourth! Now, how wrong would that be?)
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Old 02-05-2007, 12:31 AM   #28
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The second kid is so much easier than the first. Its less stressful and you already know what you're doing because you had the first kid to teach you. They still have gross stuff projecting from various places, but at least you're an expert at cleaning it up with the second one. They really do start to entertain themselves surprisingly early.
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Old 02-05-2007, 01:02 AM   #29
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Being someone with another sibling, I think it'd extremely important that you have two kids. No more unless you REALLY want more but two is the magic number.

They're going to have each other's back for life
I fully agree.

We have a 17 month old daughter, and at times when she's sick, I just want to pull my hair out or strangle myself. At the end of the day, she's still my little angel and I wouldn't change it for anything. Just watching her play and laugh makes my day that much better.

My wife and I are 26 now, and we had her when we were both 24. Still kinda young, but we're thinking of having just one more. I was a bit iffy about it at first, because of the times I was frustrated, like her crying in the middle of the night for what seems like forever.The way my daughter plays with other kids, especially my little cousins has changed my decision, and I'd like her to have another sibling. That way, she has someone to play with and they can look out for each other. Also, the lower the age difference, the better they get along with each other.
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Old 02-05-2007, 07:23 AM   #30
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I have 2 kids, a year and a half apart.

It's great- because they entertain each other, and even though I have to play referee many times a day, they're the best of friends.

Although they screw me up on the family deals when it comes to extra activities, because they don't like to do the same thing; one's in ballet/tap, the other is in karate- both of them girls. It makes me mad because I don't get the discounts...

Oh and I'm an only child. I don't agree that it screws you up. I'm fine.


...I think.
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Old 02-05-2007, 07:33 AM   #31
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One more thing for me is that I want to see my son as a big brother since I am a big brother and now know what it means, and what it meant, as Jordan said, to have my little brothers back growing up.
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Old 02-05-2007, 09:09 AM   #32
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One more thing for me is that I want to see my son as a big brother since I am a big brother and now know what it means, and what it meant, as Jordan said, to have my little brothers back growing up.
Speaking of big brothers, I think being one has done a lot of good to my 5 year old's self esteem thus far. He's able to carry a bit of extra responsibility, and seems to enjoy it.
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Old 02-05-2007, 09:22 AM   #33
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I resent the statement that only children are messed up. I'm an only child and I'm not messed up!
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Old 02-05-2007, 09:37 AM   #34
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Good luck and have fun Pope!
Thanks!

It is a lot of fun. I feel truly blessed (at times) that fate worked in such a way that I've been a stay-at-home parent during my boys' formative years.

And if you're so inclined, don't stop at one. I come from a fairly disfunctional background - divorce, alcoholism etc. - so I was a tad unsure of my parenting credentials when my wife and I arrived at the procreation stage.

My first little guy was pretty much indifferent to me during the newborn to toddler stage. Oh, we'd play a lot, and he loved that, but he'd always go to Mum to be comforted.

My second son blew my mind. Even as a newborn, he strongly preferred me. Of course, I couldn't help him out with the breastfeeding part, but he'd come to me for comfort. I vividly recall an incident when he was only a few weeks old and my wife was holding him. He kept fidgeting and looking at me, and my wife handed him over. He literally melted into my arms, a truly wonderful feeling.

Now, the sun rises and sets on me for my oldest son. I take him to hockey, and I spend a lot of time playing with him. We spent the whole summer chucking a football around, and he quickly became the heartthrob of his grade three class when the girls saw him fire a twenty-yard bullet on a rope.

Of course there are grody moments. My four-year old had a bout of diarrhea during Superbowl, and, during hockey on Saturday, my other son came to me after his game with his nose running so badly he had snot caked on his chinguard.

Oh, and redforever, good one.
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Old 02-05-2007, 10:32 AM   #35
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I would have to echo pope04's sentiments. Our first one was a girl and she was inseparable from her mom for her first 2 years, which was hard on both of us. We found her to be a real challenge, and when I think back to those 2 years, sometimes I am surprised that we decided to have a second. But not having that second child would have been the biggest mistake of my life. My parenting experience with our second child has been completely different experience. Part of it may be that he is a boy, but he also has a totally different personality from our first. I wouldn't say that he prefers me over mom (who is still more the primary caregiver), but most of the time I am just as good. My daughter would rarely accept cuddles from me or let me put her to bed, my son has always lapped up my attention. Surprisingly, my relationship with my daughter has gotten closer since my son was born.
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Old 02-05-2007, 10:43 AM   #36
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My opinion (as a single child) is that single children don't have the same social skills, interpersonal development, or companionship that children with siblings have. A child learns a lot from taking an example from an older sibling, caring for a younger one, or just the infighting between siblings.

It's not about you and how hard it is, but rather, the benefit of your child to have somebody else to grow up with.

Single children can grow up spoiled or lonely or socially awkward. I'm living proof.
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Old 02-05-2007, 10:47 AM   #37
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My son just had croup, a chest infection and an ear infection all at the same time. Yeah it was rough, but being a father sure turns a person into a softy. We're in the stage where we're thinking about having another. I don't know how we'll survive though. We jokingly say that our son, all on his own, has shown us what it is like to have twins.
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Old 02-05-2007, 10:49 AM   #38
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In this era where many kids start full time daycare when they turn one, having siblings is probably not as crucial for social development as it once was.
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Old 02-05-2007, 10:53 AM   #39
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Surprisingly, my relationship with my daughter has gotten closer since my son was born.
Interestingly, I have noticed the same thing with my older son. Perhaps its a comfort thing for them, since mum is busy with the newborn.
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Old 02-05-2007, 10:53 AM   #40
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As a single guy, I figure there's only one reason to have a couple of kids.


Dig dig Chop Chop

(You have to be a simpsons fan to get that one)
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