The obligatory "People Are Sure Strange" thread

[Flames_Gimp]

Originally Posted by TheyCallMeBruce

Recently, there was a guy that came into the ctrain with a toilet seat around his neck. He asked for smokes from passengers and just hung around talking about whatever random crap. He claimed to know that the government hires animals to take away our jobs. Yeah, I have no idea what that means, but he was pretty sure this happened. He asked for smokes again, and having lack of success, leaves. Weird.

LMAO! wish i was there with a camera!

[Flames_Gimp]

Originally Posted by Bobblehead

Maybe they've read some of your CP posts? If that is the case, can you really blame them?

Or maybe the Gimp mask weirded em out?

[TheyCallMeBruce]

Originally Posted by Flames_Gimp

LMAO! wish i was there with a camera!

I should have used my camera phone. I didn't know why I didn't think of it at the time. It was the most saddest, bizarre, hilarious, encounter I've ever had.

[Flames_Gimp]

Originally Posted by Barnes

I met this old guy on the train one time that wanted to talk to someone about something really important. No one else would give him the time of day and I was alone, bored and going all the way up to the Stamps game from Sommerset so I gladly listened. He had a lot of great and important things to tell the world.

Listen up cause this is all true. I have the documents that he gave me that day my life was turned upside down. They are very official looking photocopies so it must be true. PM me if anyone wants to see the evidence.

He is the real Prime minister of Canada first off. He was imprisoned by a group of Black ops types from the US that wanted to install a new powerbase of individuals form......... Estevan Saskatchwan.

All the most powerful people in the world are from Estevan and are related to the Hart family. The pope for instance is actually a female member of the Hart family. The Clintons, Bush's, all from Estevan, all related to the Harts.

There is much more. Again PM me for the evidence

This old feller offered me a prime place in his government if I was to donate to his cause and which I gladly donated one canadian dollar and took copies of the evidence to share with others.

LMAO know where to find him? would be hilarious to interview him on camera!

[@theCBE]

I saw a guy running around superstore yesterday in a sombrero, aviator sunglasses and a tuxedo shirt. yelling "Donde estas Creme Pie?" to anyone who looked his way.

[Mr.Coffee]

Originally Posted by Flames_Gimp

That reminds me of when people see me in public! except they usually panic and grab their kids like i'm going to run them down.

haha yeah I used to work with Camp Bonaventure, which is a day camp for kids with disabilities. (Yeah that's right, I went from being an admired counselor working with disabled children to the scum-of-the-earth door to door salesman).

Anyways whenever we went places people would avoid our group of kids like they were the plague and it ALWAYS ticked me off.

I remember one time we were at the zoo, and this one particular camper who was my favourite needed to stimulate himself by making some noise or by slapping things to make noise to keep himself content. The kid was like 10 years old, tapping the glass of a display with insects inside. The insects weren't even moving, clearly didn't care and some moron walks up grabs his hand and throws it away and starts shouting to leave the exhibit alone. This particular kid couldn't speak anyway, but didn't even react. Pretty much just ignored him and continued to tap the glass and for some reason I thought it was hilarious because it made the guy look like the biggest ######. The guy started chirping at me to take better care of him or some crap but literally- as long as I knew where this kid was- I was doing a good job. I just said something like 'dont worry about it' and moved along. Pretty sure if the kid was doing something to distract or disturb the animals I would have stopped it... but come on now... insects?

[Barnes]

Originally Posted by Flames_Gimp

LMAO know where to find him? would be hilarious to interview him on camera!

Ill have to look at the stuff he gave me.

There's maps, diagrams and everything. The guy was all business. Had a sharp suit on, no foil on his head. Everyone around us was very entertained with my questions.

Lets find him and toilet seat head and we'll interview em both. You ask the questions, I'll hold the camera.

CP Productions Presents: Calgary, a crazy persons history.

[shane_c]

My fiance told me this one the other day...

She was downtown waiting for the bus after work and this guy walks by with a balloon hat and sits down on a nearby bench. He takes off his backpack and pulls out a bottle of vodka and finishes whatever is left in it. He then throws the bottle in the bushes behind him. In the meantime one of the balloons in his hat busted which he thought was quite funny. Then he gets out some toothpaste, puts it on his finger, brushes his teeth and gets up and leaves. That evening we were watching the news and they were showing a shot of some guy down at Eau Claire making balloon toys for the kids. Whether it was him or not we're not sure but for the few seconds he was on the TV it looked like him.

[Maritime Q-Scout]

this happened about 2 years ago now when I was working retail at Radio Shack. I wrote the story down then and just found it, it's a classic IMO

A man walks in with his girlfriend. He looks like he's a reject from a Moncton high school. Missing teeth, jean jacket, generic torn up t-shirt (as opposed to Pat's simply generic t-shirts) and to cap it all off a generic ball cap, blue beak, and Breton Toyota written across it. No offense Deer but if your dad sold this guy a car, I'd lose all respect for him, and torch your house... you'd deserve it IF he sold him a car. He was THAT bad!

Has a sobey's bag, in it a Koss CD clock radio. That's it. He says it's skipping his CD's causing scratches on them, NEW CDs!!, and he wants a refund. I'm thinking "oooooooooo kay" I ask if he has a receipt (an easy way to say no if he doesn't have it). Surprisingly he does. I look at it, within the 30 day return policy. But still no box, no packaging.

I go to the assistant manager and ask what to do. The radio is discontinued, so it's not like we can exchange it for a new one.

John (assistant manager) goes over and asks what's wrong with it. They tell him, I get a cd, and he listens. Plays PERFECTLY. Tries a number of tracks, fine, and no scratches. They said it skips for them. John goes out back and gets his own store bought CD. Sure enough works perfectly.

Guy: Well it doesn't work for us, I want my money back.

John: well sir, do you have your box and packaging?

Guy: I want my money back, I have the receipt

John: I see that but I need the box and packaging as well

Guy: I have the receipt

John: I see that but I need the box and packing

Guy: I have the receipt

John: I see that but I need the box and packing

Guy: I want my money back, I'm gonna call the police

John: ok

Guy: can I use your phone?

John: it's in use at the moment (aka no)

the guy WAITS for the phone

I go out back and make sure the security video is picking this up.

The guy takes the phone and dials........




















911!!!!!!!!!!!



To ask what the number for the police is!!!!!!

John: You can't call 911, it's not an emergency!

He gives the guy a phone book. He can't find the number

he turns to me and says: What page is the number for the police on?

me: I dunno?

guy: DON'T YOU LIVE HERE?!?!?

me: yes, but I don't know what page the number for the police is on

at this point Rick, the other guy working, goes out back and calls security.

After ranting about calling the police, and taking us to court, security shows up

Rick walks up to him with AJ the security guard
Rick: Well sir, there is nothing else we can do for you today, if you wish to come in and see the manager he will be in Wednesday morning, for now your cd player is over there on the counter along with your receipt. I am now asking you to leave the store

Guy: I'm not leaving the store I'm calling the police

Rick: as a representative of the store I'm asking you politely to leave

Guy: I'm not leaving!!!!

Rick: oh yes you are

AJ: OK LISTEN BUDDY YOU'RE LEAVING, OR I'M CALLING THE POLICE AND YOU'LL BE BARRED FOR A YEAR. I'M SERVING YOU YOUR NOTICE RIGHT NOW, I DIAL YOU'RE GONE. YOU WANT ME TO CALL THE POLICE!??!?

Guy: Yes I would, please call them for me

AJ: I CALL THE POLICE THEY'RE TAKING YOU AWAY, AND YOU'RE NOT COMING BACK, BARRED FOR A YEAR

Guy: call them!

Guy's girlfriend: Let's just go

AJ dials the police: Yes this is security at the Sydney Shopping Centre.....

(to the guy) Are you leaving???

(to police) ok cancel that

Myself, Rick, John: hahahahahaha

Ahhh I miss retail sometimes.

[BlackEleven]

My parents used to have these really weird neighbours they would always tell stories about.

They started doing just slightly weird things -- like asking if they could store stuff in our freezer.

Then one day the lady with her newborn baby knocks on the door and says she is going back to Pakistan for 6 months and leaving tomorrow. She asks if my mom can look after her baby while she is gone -- for the whole six months.

When they finally moved out my parents found out from the new people that moved in, that they had taken almost everything with them with they moved. They took light fixtures, door knobs, toilet seats, everything that could be taken!

[Tron_fdc]

When i lived in Oz I spent a few months in a small town called Byron Bay. It's a laid back hippie/surf town, but it has a rampant heroin abuse underbelly that not a lot of people see unless you're there for a while. Anyway, I came in from a surf after a particularily large swell came through, and after getting pummeled a few times my knees were bleeding from all the reef that got exposed from the swell. Some skinny crazy dude walks past me, stops, and stares right at me saying nothing. I totally ignored him, because the last thing I wanted to do was engage in a conversation with someone strung out on smack. Crazy guy looks at me for a bit, shrugs his shoulders, and then walks off down the beach. About 10 feeet past me he comes across another dude coming out of the surf, who he proceeds to block off. Crazy guy then points at me, and yells

"HE'S AFRAID OF THE ROCKS!!! THAT"S WHY HE WON'T GO IN!!!!"

and storms off down the beach.

Since then it's been a running joke between all of my friends whenever we're about to do something stupid."What, are you afraid of the rocks or something??"

I also worked in a hostel that was the old town hall, and we would ALL KINDS of lowlifes coming in looking for their pogey cheques. One dude in particular went to great lengths explaining to a bunch of 20yr olds how his old lady got screwed, he got screwed, and all his friends got screwed by the system. He started getting really agitated when we started laughing at him, and the manager hd to call the cops to get rid of him.

Count heroin as one of the drugs I'll never do.......

[BerubeHater]

I worked with a guy that is a legend at the office because of how crazy he was.

One day he started talking about how he knew where the next meteror would hit. He pulled out a map of North America and started drawing lines, which he said were fault lines. Then he said if you look were the lines cross you can see a cowboy and indian staring at each other. My coworkers and I laughed so hard because it was just a whole bunch of lines on a map.

So anyways, then he started to say that it says in the bible, were the cowboy and indians eyes meet, Armageadon will strike. He concluded that this meant that the next meteror would strike Brooks, Alberta and wipe it out. So he moved his house from Brooks to a small town called Patricia, outside of Brooks.

This guy is seroiusly on another planet and many jokles get referenced to him daily.

[PowerPlayoffs06]

I lived in a condo and had this neighbour beside me who would always come over and ask to borrow stuff. Toilet paper, pet food, eggs, milk, light bulbs, you name it. Im a nice guy so I gave him whatever he needed and he'd always give me a handfull of change or weed (yea, weed!) whenever he borrowed something. I always said it wasn't necessary but he'd force it on me, sometimes even sticking his hand in the front pouch of my hoodie like I had no choice.

This one day his cat was somehow outside of his appartment and wandering up and down the hallway meowling like crazy. So my girlfriend and I just ignored it for the first while until it got annoying so we brought the thing inside just to keep it from annoying the entire floor. When we heard the neighbour guy come home, we went over and gave him his cat and he was all so thankful telling me that it's some kinda rare breed of cat that costs like $3000 or some stupid amount of money that no sane person would ever pay for a house pet.

9 months or so later, Im moving out of my place and hauling boxes up and down the hall to the elevator. The doors open and my neighbour gets off the elevator and we have a short conversation about how much he's gonna miss having me as a neighbour cuz Im such a stand up guy and I was always helping him out whenever he needed it and neighbours like me just dont exist anymore. So anyways, I load my stuff in the elevator take it downstairs and pack it in my truck then go back up to make another trip.

Standing outside my door is my neighbour and he starts asking if I have his cat, it's not in his apartment. I say no, I haven't seen it, how did it get out? Tell him I've been making trips back and forth all day and didn't see his cat, so I dunno. He starts accusing me of stealing it! Telling me he left his door unlocked and I'd been going back and forth all day and I must have snuck into his apartment and stole his cat. Tells me he just wants the cat back and he wont blame me or anything for taking it, just give it back. Im all surprised and sorta stunned at what's going on and trying to get him to be rational and realize I dont have his cat, nor would I ever take the thing. He keeps on accusing me and asking if he can go in and search my apartment just to make sure. He just wont give up this idea that I've stolen his $3000 cat for whatever reason so

I finally lose my patience, which takes a lot, and flip on the guy in the middle of the hallway. I swear you could hear peoples ears being pressed against their front doors as they listened to me calling this guy out after all the crap I'd given him and all the help I'd been for the time we were neighbours to have him accuse me of something as stupid as stealing his cat. Told him it probably jumped off the top floor balcony to try and escape having to live in that ****hole stinkbox apartment of his. He walks inside his place and I continue loading up my belongings, now being extra watchful and locking my apartment door anytime I make a trip downstairs.

Later that night after all my moving was done and was locking up, my neighbour comes over and says "Sorry man, you've never been anything but a stand up, classy guy," and stuffs this HUGE bag of pot in my hoodie. It musta been a full ounce or something.

Crazy neighbour.

[Tron_fdc]

OOOOOOOOOHHH!!!!! I forgot about the time traveller I worked with.

We hired a scrap cutter to work in our yard one year, and after a few months he comes in and asks if he can have a few pieces of metal. No problem I thought, maybe he's an artist.

A few months later I hear from one of the guys in the shop that the reason he needed scrap metal was for his time machine. He didn't want to tell me himself, because I might think he was crazy. Yeah, imagine that.....

Then I hear that he bought a lie detector machine so he could predict lottery numbers. I was WAY to intrigued to let this one by, so I asked him about it. His scheme went like this:
- He would connect himself to the lie detector before he went to bed, and a recording would play the numbers 1 through 69.
- He would then correlate the number readings to impulses recorded on the lie detector, and then write them down.
- He would then point at the numbers individually, and take a black and white photo of each number that he pointed at.
-after developing each photo, he said there was a bolt of light coming off his fingertip (that was caught in the photo), and those were the numbers that were coming up in the next 649.

He was a little perturbed when I asked him why he needed to do all that, seeing as he owned a time machine and could simply go forward a week, get the results, and then come back in time and win the lottery...

No word of a lie however, I saw him on a TV show that was profiling lottery winners about a year ago. Either he won the lottery (unlikely) or he lied his way on the show (most likely). I'll never know though, he quit to run a bunch of condos.

[Tron_fdc]

We also hired another guy (scrap cutter) a few years back that collected cats. Dunno where he lived, but I'm sure it wasn't pretty.

He would come into work every morning, and wrap band aids around every finger on his hands. He then would put safety pins all over his clothes (hundreds of the things all in a row) and wander around the yard chewing his tongue. It got so bad we had to hide the safety pins and band aids in the first aid room, because this wierdo was costing us thousands of dollars in tape and accessories.

Man, I could go on for days telling stories about the crackpots I used to work with. Most of them were the scrap cutters though.....it must be something about the torches that gets into your brain and makes you mad.

[FurnaceFace]

Anyone seen this Asian guy on the bus we affectionately refer to as "Crazy Rodeo Boy"? He works somewhere downtown, he always looks all business, in a shirt and tie. He's a big rodeo and country music lover. He's always listening to country and reading PBR magazines, and has a PBR jacket. I've also heard him talking to the bus drivers (bus drivers must have the patience of a saint) about Loughlan Nevada and the rodeo down there. Anyway, he gets off the bus at Guld Canada Square. He will typically go to the front of the bus, stand in the doorway and as the bus stops and the driver is opening the door rear back like he's on a horse coming out of a shute and say "Ok! Let's go!!" and go bursting out the door. He makes us smile everytime he does this and we do a little fist pump if we see him on the bus when we get on.

I'd love to know where he works and what he does. Mrs Furnace and I are very curious.

[Eastern Girl]

A couple years ago, I was on the bus coming home. This one guy gets on the bus, which is almost completely empty, and sits directly behind me. I didn't think anything of it, until I started feeling something in my hair. It was light at first so I thought that it was just the wind or whatever. Then I felt a hand on my back. The guy was playing with my hair. So I turned around to confront him and he says, "Oh don't worry. I am not crazy, I just have a hair fetish. You don't mind do you?" and then he tries to continue playing with my hair. I just got off the bus and walked the rest of the way to my place.

Another story from the bus, didn't really have anything to do with me except that I witnessed it. A woman got on the bus with her seeing eye dog, who was just a gorgeous animal so lots of people were looking at him and telling the owner how gorgeous he was. This one woman goes to pet the dog but the owner says that she can't. The woman gets really mad that she can't pet the dog so she starts yelling at the owner, calling her a bitch and rude and pretty much every name she could think of. The whole time, the owner is calmly trying to explain that you aren't supposed to pet seeing eye dogs when they are working. But this woman just didn't care, she just kept calling her a bitch and then she just moved to the back of the bus.

[JiriHrdina]

I have a similar story to MQS when I worked for Rogers Video. Just before midnight dude comes in with a copy of The Lion King to return. No receipt. No packaging. He wants his money though, right now. Weird looking dude too - skinny little guy with buggy eyes.

Anyhoo my boss says to him - sorry man no receipt no luck. Dude argues and they go back and forth a bit while I observe from the other station. Dude starts to get angry so my boss threatens to call the cops. Dude still won't leave. My boss gives me the nod and I pick up the phone and say to the guy "you see this..I'm dialing the cops right now". Dude still doesn't care and continues to yell.

Anyhoo, cops show up. And this little guy won't leave calmly. Must weight 150 pounds soaking wet but he puts up a fight. Takes these 2 big cops a good 5 minutes to haul him out of the store. But once he gets out there that's when the fun starts.

This is out front on 17 Ave SW and he wraps his legs around a tree. These 2 cops try their best but can't get him to let go. Another car shows up with 2 big boy cops and it takes all 4 of them yanking and pulling to throw this guy in the back of their car.

It was unreal how much of a fight this little guy put up. Adrenalin or drugs I suppose.

[kermitology]

I think I've got a good one here.

In November of 2005 I was waiting for the #2 in Mt. Pleasant, just North of 16th Ave. Along comes a man who is clearly homeless. I'm listening to some music and I've got my studio headphones on so I can't hear him ask me something.

"What time is it?"
"Pardon me?"
"WHAT TIME IS IT?!"

Not noticing that he does not have a watch I tell him that it's "Ten to." He doesn't like that..
"TEN TO WHAT?"
"Oh sorry, it's ten to five."

Now this is during the bitter cold snap we had in November and I'm freezing waiting for the bus that is now late. He asks me when the bus comes, so I tell him that it was supposed to be here 5 minutes ago. He demands to know where it is.

"I don't know, it's late."

He's satisfied with that, so he then starts to pass the time by telling me about how great the 2 is compared to the 19 and the 119, and how he's going to try to get the bus driver to let him on for free since he's just going downtown and doesn't have bus fare. I don't know where he's going, but it's cold, so I offer him a bus ticket. Bad idea.

The bus pulls up and he tells me he'll use it if she doesn't let him on without it. I'm like, "yeah, whatever" and get on the bus to find an empty seat and chill out for my trip downtown to my next bus. But alas, he comes to sit next to me.

As the bus pulls away and heads downtown he tells me about how he used to live in the duplex across the street, but he got kicked out when the renovated the duplex so now he lives in a guy's backyard shed with an electric heater for $300 a month. How he went to school at Cresent Heights, but dropped out at 15 to get a job, and how his son (who's 15 and he hasn't seen in 2 years) was the 9th generation of males born in Canada in his family.

Then it gets weird.

He whips around and screams at the woman behind us "DON'T PAY ATTENTION TO OTHER PEOPLES CONVERSTATIONS!!!"
And turns back to me to ask me where it is I'm going. I'm a little bit disturbed at this point, so I tell him I'm just going to another bus and home. He tells me that he's going to the McDonalds on 17th Ave and he's meeting his sponsor. I'm thinking... good, he's going to meet someone who's helping him out, he'll have some food, awesome. Nope... Exact quote...

"I'm don't do drugs. You go to the doctor and he gives you a prescription, you take that to the pharmacy and you get some drugs. I don't take drugs. I'm a substance abuser! I'm going to meet my sponsor, give him $300 and he'll give me some of my substance and I'll have a good time for 3 hours!"

He then whips around again and screams at the now terrified woman behind me "ARE YOU LISTENING TO OTHER PEOPLE'S CONVERSTATIONS??"

I notice that we're now downtown and I'm nearing my stop so I get up to go. As I'm leaving the bus he changes seats and yells at me until the door closes..

"NEVER GIVE UP! NEVER GIVE UP!! NEVER GIVE UP!!!"

I saw him again in January and he was pulling a kids plastic wagon full of broken dolls and random crap. He was in the McDonalds getting a coffee and checking out the rashes and skin problems on his leg. Haven't seen him since though.

[Resolute 14]

About 10km west of Vermilion today, I saw a guy on the side of the road, kneeling and fervently praying. He was facing south, so not a Muslim in the midst of one of his six-times a day prayer sessions.

Personally, I figured he flipped someone the bird then immediately felt the need to repent.