How am I supposed to help a drug addict?

[MJK]

The fact of the matter is that the guy is going to have to want to get help in order to get help. You can't force someone into recovery if they aren't motivated to do so.

Having an intervention would suggest otherwise. In some cases you almost need to force someone to see what they are doing to themselves and their family.

Always an option to do an intervention, helps the troubled individual see how bad they are hurting those around them.

[Sample00]

howdy, I thought I would wade in with a couple of thoughts as well.
These guy/gals are right, you cant help him unless he wants to be helped.

But, what you can do is help yourself. I suspect that Narcotics Anonymous http://www.na.org/ has a program available similar to Al-Anon which is for the family, friends etc of AA members.

You may want to check it out. IT will help YOU!! deal with your relative that is addicted to Narcotics. the program will help you!

[CaramonLS]

Originally Posted by MJK

Having an intervention would suggest otherwise. In some cases you almost need to force someone to see what they are doing to themselves and their family.

Always an option to do an intervention, helps the troubled individual see how bad they are hurting those around them.

You have to consider that as a last resort.

Try talking to him first about it, as I said, it really helped when I was in a similar situation because no one had actually done that with him.

[Agamemnon]

If an addict doesn't want to quit, they won't. Seriously, it can be next to impossible to 'make' someone quit when they don't agree that its the 'right time'. If you've ever seen a show on A&E called Intervention, it seems fairly successful at at least appropriately confronting drug users.

Maybe think about an intervention? (sry if this was suggested, haven't read the thread).

[Shawnski]

Truly sorry to hear about this, Neeper.

The Dr. Phil answer would be to "replace a bad behavior with a good one." Many here have indicated that he has to admit there is a problem. I concur with that.

But for someone to admit there is a problem, they have to be outside their "normal" element (or find themselves in a major bind because of their behaviours... which is not a good option). They have to SEE that what they are doing is hurting themselves. And further to admitting they have a problem, they have to have something else they want more instead what they are living for now. THAT is when they will have a good chance to be able to beat their inner demons.

In short, what I am saying is that you can help to get him to admit his addiction AND realize there are other things that he would rather be doing. So it is a sales job, essentially. But beware a cardinal rule of sales...

"If you give someone a solution, they will resent it... if you IMPOSE that solution, they will resent you."

In Lanny's case, there is a significant aspect of trust that would be involved, as he was dealing with his wife. That won't be as important with an uncle/nephew situation. Important still, yes, no question. Be prepared, however, that a sit down might not work.

If your uncle sees the light based on something he thinks he discovered on his own, he will be more likely to accept it, and take action. That is when, as Killer indicated, professional or institutional help can become involved.

Think back to when he was a different person...

What did he like to do that he doesn't do now? What were his dreams that he has yet to fulfill? What made him happiest?

And what is it like to walk a day in his shoes now? What exactly is it like?

My two cents, with all my best wishes that your uncle can help himself out of this.

[RedMan12]

I have had a bit of experience with friends and family. The most important thing I can say is just try to be there for any support you can offer. Let him know how you feel about his problem. Things like this is very serious and its really hard to know what to do. Sometimes you just have to let people take their own course too.

My best friend that I have known my whole life had a similar problem and he came out of it on his own. I just was always there to help him and just be a friend to him.

[Vulcan]

Thanks Neeper for bringing this problem out into the open. Judging from the responces, it's affected a lot of lifes on this board. It seems to have become a scourge that has attacked lots of families, rich or poor, good or bad. Remember everybody be carefull out there.

[Ch40s]

Ahhh, irony...

Wasn't it just a couple weeks ago that you guys were defending use of marijuana...?

[RougeUnderoos]

Originally Posted by Ch40s

Ahhh, irony...

Wasn't it just a couple weeks ago that you guys were defending use of marijuana...?

If you've got something to say about marijuana, maybe you should make your own thread about it.

[Patek23]

Originally Posted by Ch40s

Ahhh, irony...

Wasn't it just a couple weeks ago that you guys were defending use of marijuana...?

It is quite the diffences in severity between crack cocaine and marijuana, but thanks for being a dick anyways!

[Delthefunky]

Marijuana is unjustly labelled a drug, Crack is a drug and a nasty one at that.

I worked with lots of crack addicts when I used to do Seismic.. many have had success in quitting by going to AADAC..

I would definetly phone the hotline first and see what they have to say.

Originally Posted by Ch40s

Ahhh, irony...

Wasn't it just a couple weeks ago that you guys were defending use of marijuana...?

[shoestring]

I avoided this subject since I first saw it but because I am under the influence of a lesser drug I for some strange reason think that I can contribute to your woes,Neeper.

People get lost on this crack stuff. It happens to be the best place they have ever been,they want to return to it again and again,it is easy living.

My niece lived with me through thick and thin ridding herself of this trap. It was tough and brutal,it was indifferent and honest. It was not fun.I hated it and although she was not using after all the "tough love" I could throw at her,I had to find professionals to get her moving on with her life.
Don't try to do this yourself,they have to hit rock bottom before you can magically step in. Get some help ,they will help you get through the stealing and disrespect that this person will throw at you.
I feel for you,buddy.

[Superfraggle]

I think Shawnski had a good idea...i was going to post something along the same lines...although here I am doing it anyways, I guess. Get him to start doing other things. Invite him to come do things with you. Go hiking or camping whenever you can...sports...anything that will take him away from the current life he's leaving. Something that takes up enough time that his addiction would get in the way, and which would make it difficult for him to make excuses to sneak off and satisfy it.

[shoestring]

Originally Posted by Superfraggle

I think Shawnski had a good idea...i was going to post something along the same lines...although here I am doing it anyways, I guess. Get him to start doing other things. Invite him to come do things with you. Go hiking or camping whenever you can...sports...anything that will take him away from the current life he's leaving. Something that takes up enough time that his addiction would get in the way, and which would make it difficult for him to make excuses to sneak off and satisfy it.

Boy that is sounding so good but that is a long way from what happens to a crack addict and there new better life.
They have to face it and beat it :when they can find it and are able to attain it: it has to be there willpower over the (god/substance/drug/dealer) lifestyle that gets them away from that life.

You and Shawnski are correct. But it might well take a lot of loving to get there.

Protect yourself and who you love Neeper. Don't allow this to become personnal ,get some help. Many people are out there to help.
They can't give you the solution but they will show you how to keep your life because if you don't keep your life,your head and your witts; then you can't do your best.

[Calgary Flames]

Originally Posted by Delthefunky

Marijuana is unjustly labelled a drug,

I call bull on this... especially knowing someone very close who's life turned to crap because of this "unjustly labelled drug"

[shoestring]

Originally Posted by Calgary Flames

I call bull on this... especially knowing someone very close who's life turned to crap because of this "unjustly labelled drug"

Oh come on ,I could tell you a lot about turning lives around but it has no comparison to crack. So start a new thread about the evils of mary jane.
We are not talking about the weakness of individuals,we are talking about the addictive traits of a very heavyduty brain changing chemical. Totally different stuff.

[Calgary Flames]

Originally Posted by shoestring

Oh come on ,I could tell you a lot about turning lives around but it has no comparison to crack. So start a new thread about the evils of mary jane.
We are not talking about the weakness of individuals,we are talking about the addictive traits of a very heavyduty brain changing chemical. Totally different stuff.

It is a comparison to crack. It's not as hard but to write it off as a drug is bs. To say that Weed isn't brian changing is also bull.

[shoestring]

Originally Posted by Calgary Flames

It is a comparison to crack. It's not as hard but to write it off as a drug is bs. To say that Weed isn't brian changing is also bull.

Well then you nothing of weed or crack.

Sure subtle things happen with booze,aspirin,tobacco and pot but they are not like cocaine. They just aren't.
Never addicted but I have no doubt it can grab anybody and put them in a ever increasing downword spiral.
Two totally different drugs.
Maybe we should legalize them both like caffiene and sugar. Or maybe we should quit all drugs.
Educate yourself a bit -(the only guy i can think that takes a team name as his sig-dude).
Neeper has a problem here; not an arguement over decriminilization. And sad to say a lifetime problem, not a silly pot smoking relative. Huge difference.

Neeper pm me and you can phone me. Not sure how much I can help but sometimes it just nice to tell the story and get it off your soul. It is not your fault.

[Neeper]

Well, sorry I haven't posted in a while. I've been trying to think what to do. I can't believe the overwhelming response in this thread. Thank you so much for everyone's help.

I finally saw him yesterday and he looks like crap. He looks like he aged 10 years since I last saw him a few months ago. His beer belly is gone and so is his double chin. I couldn't get a chance to talk to him because he dissappeared about 3 minutes after I had showed up (go figure).

Anyways, I wanted to update all the people that posted here and the ones who pm'd me. The response is overwhelming, something I didn't expect.
I will try and get some alone time with him soon, so we can talk.

[pope04]

I lost a very special cousin to addiction two years ago on April 17th. She was only 38, and, although her parents and husband were aware of the problem, the rest of the family was unaware of the severity until it was far too late. We all tried to help to no avail. I've seen the "rock bottom" thing mentioned a few times on this thread, but, unfortunately for her and our family, "rock bottom" was her deathbed.