Busted a Cheater - How do I go about this?

[soulchoice]

Dude, this is what you need to do. Don't initiate the conversation, just move on with your life, and that means meet other women. Stay busy, and when you do speak to her, just let her know you are aware of what she has done and end it.

Do not tell her your hurt, etc, all that bullshingard. There is no point to it. At the same time, do not ask her why she did it or anything like that at all. It does not matter why she did it or how it all happened, cause at this point it doesn't matter. Usually the only reason why people in the position you are in, ask for answers/questions is they are still clinging on to some hope and want to see if the other person cares.

Seriously, do not tell her how you feel and not telling her does not in any way mean your more or less of a man. At this point, it doesnt matter and all it will do is make the situation more difficult than it has to be. Accept the fact that she cheated and thats it. Do not make excuses for her. Move on. Stop all contact immediately.

[soulchoice]

Originally Posted by Flaming Homer

Dude, I brought up the emotions thing but when push comes to shove I'd be willing to bet I got more manliness in my left nut than you do at all. A real man isn't afraid to tell his emotions instead of "suck it up" and other machoistic bull**** values thats for the real pussies who are afraid of saying and doing what they feel.

Telling her your emotions does nothing at this point. Its not about being macho, etc. She cheated, thus there is no reason to get emotional in front of her and spew out feelings. In a regular relation where mutual respect is prevelent(in this case, its quite evident it was lacking), I would agree and show her emotions once in a while. But in cases like this, it really serves no purpose other than to make it harder for the man to walk away.

Meet up with her, and tell her its over and walk away, though in reality man, she made the choice to leave essentially when she cheated. Just remember that anytime you miss her and want to do the unthinkable and allow her back in your life. Good luck man.

[La Flames Fan]

Thanks boys....This was extremely helpful...

Normally I get all worked up and react instead of simply calmly looking at the situation and realizing that it's not worth it. That's why I needed a little CP advice. It was so tempting to email this thing to everyone I knew, but that would just cause more effort than I really want to spend on something that clearly just isn't worth it.

We talked tonight on the phone and she flat out tried to tell me it's not what it looked like (that's original) and that she loved me and wanted to see me tonight. I did not oblige. I told her I didn't want to see her, didn't want to have anything to do with her, and granted her wish to date as many men as possible all at once.

It's funny when you put someone on a pedestal and worship their every move and all of a sudden that crashes down to earth and you see them for who they really are. I get who she really is tonight, only wish I could have seen that sooner.

She wanted to get together and talk and I sort of said to her why would I want to do that? She pulled all the cute voices, tears, blah blah blah and I just shrugged it off and thought there's no point in going any further when the damage and the decision has been done.

Onwards and upwards....

Thanks again....

To quote Reggie:

"HA HA

Stupid Girl."

[Reggie Dunlop]

Originally Posted by La Flames Fan

To quote Reggie:

"HA HA

Stupid Girl."

Hey, don't put me there.

Give it some time. A small indisgression isn't the end of the world.

[soulchoice]

Originally Posted by La Flames Fan

Thanks boys....This was extremely helpful...

Normally I get all worked up and react instead of simply calmly looking at the situation and realizing that it's not worth it. That's why I needed a little CP advice. It was so tempting to email this thing to everyone I knew, but that would just cause more effort than I really want to spend on something that clearly just isn't worth it.

We talked tonight on the phone and she flat out tried to tell me it's not what it looked like (that's original) and that she loved me and wanted to see me tonight. I did not oblige. I told her I didn't want to see her, didn't want to have anything to do with her, and granted her wish to date as many men as possible all at once.

It's funny when you put someone on a pedestal and worship their every move and all of a sudden that crashes down to earth and you see them for who they really are. I get who she really is tonight, only wish I could have seen that sooner.

She wanted to get together and talk and I sort of said to her why would I want to do that? She pulled all the cute voices, tears, blah blah blah and I just shrugged it off and thought there's no point in going any further when the damage and the decision has been done.

Onwards and upwards....

Thanks again....

To quote Reggie:

"HA HA

Stupid Girl."

Nice work man. I just hope that when you were telling her that it was completely over and done, that you truly meant it. I have seen others say that as well and they only did it to see how far the "cheater" would go in order to get back together. When you say things to her, say it to make let her know where you stand, not to get a reaction out of her. What she thinks right now is irrelevant. Hopefully that is the last conversation that you two have, cause anymore communication can cause one to relapse, miss and worst yet, go back.

Glad to see that you saw through her pleas and lies and didnt fall for her "not what it looked like crap". Of course she will say that, at this point she will say anything. Had you not said anything to her, she probably would have went on like she was out with her girls that night.

Stay strong man! Remember there are billions of people on this earth. There is definitely not just one person out there that can make us happy for sure. Women come and go. You lose when, you find another. Chalk it up as another experience to add to your knowledge.

[Regulator75]

Call Maury, confront her on national TV. Atleast you get a free trip to New York!

[Frank the Tank]

Forward it to her parents and let them know their daughter is a slut. I'm mean and vengeful, so this might not be the best course of action, but dammit it'll feel good.

[Cheese]

LOL...LA....sun and sand....Me thinks Id go fishing for awhile. Your too young to get tied down anyways LA.
I suggest just focussing on your business for awhile and DUMP her...she aint worth a conversation....seriously. If shes done it once she'll do it again.
Buy some dead roses and send them to her with a good bye card...a short and sweet goodbye card.

[Rubber Ducky]

I think it comes down to how serious the relationship was. If you were just dating, then it's not the end of the world that she was out with someone else.

But if you thought it was a serious, one-on-one relationship, then it's time to close that door I think.

And I'm not sure I believe that it was an intentional attempt to get LFF to dump her - I've sent an email in error to the wrong person. Oopsies happen in email land...

Anyhow, sounds like it's over and done with. I echo what others have said - be strong and keep that door closed. Just my 2 cents.

[CaramonLS]

Good Riddence.

You don't need crap like that in your life. (Sorry Reg, "minor indiscressions" are something to get worked up over and good grounds to end a relationship).

[troutman]

Originally Posted by Cheese

....Me thinks Id go fishing for awhile.

Always the best advice!

[Rakiet]

Originally Posted by Flaming Homer

Dude, I brought up the emotions thing but when push comes to shove I'd be willing to bet I got more manliness in my left nut than you do at all. A real man isn't afraid to tell his emotions instead of "suck it up" and other machoistic bull**** values thats for the real pussies who are afraid of saying and doing what they feel.

5- Men talk about their feelings
I love this one. Men all of a sudden have "feelings" others need to hear about. It's not enough that men are crying, they now must "express" themselves. It's not enough to say "are you going to marry me and cook me a meal every night," now guys have to recite Othello and tell their women in a 30-minute speech why he should be whipped by his significant other for the rest of his life. Asking a woman if she loves you or if you satisfy her is pathetic.

9- Men are afraid to tell someone off
Men have no problem telling everyone their childhood fantasies about their teddy bears, but ask them to be direct, blunt, and tell it like it is, and all of a sudden they belong to the United Nations. You know why? Because if they are brutally honest and forward, then someone might be brutally honest back, and heaven forbid someone tell us we're not God incarnate.

10- Men take over women's roles
When did becoming a stay-at-home dad become cool? When did being a male nurse become something guys grew up thinking of? When did being a secretary scream out "ambitious career plan"? When did holding your wife's hand while she's delivering your baby become a mandatory male experience? You want to be a wuss, do what wusses do. Be a finocchio, get ready for the backlash. You know what the worst part is? These cafones insist it's acceptable.
11- Men watch too much Oprah
Do I have to explain this one? 12- Men are whipped
The most important reason men have lost all sense of masculinity is their inability to be master of their own domain. Men have handed over the whip to their women, and allowed them to use it, liberally, frequently, and without discretion. No decision can be made without consulting the female -- your word as the final say is a running joke when you accept being second fiddle in the hierarchy chain.

So like it or not, not sitting down and moving on with your life is the right thing to do. Don't take this info so personally

[Calgary Flames]

You're in L.A. right? Give O.J. a call. :lol;

Seriously. Take the time to own her, Frank's idea was good.

[Bill Bumface]

Newly single, living in LA, aspiring actor.

There is only one thing for a person in your situation to do:

Appear on BlindDate!

[Rakiet]

Originally Posted by La Flames Fan

Thanks boys....This was extremely helpful...

Normally I get all worked up and react instead of simply calmly looking at the situation and realizing that it's not worth it. That's why I needed a little CP advice. It was so tempting to email this thing to everyone I knew, but that would just cause more effort than I really want to spend on something that clearly just isn't worth it.

We talked tonight on the phone and she flat out tried to tell me it's not what it looked like (that's original) and that she loved me and wanted to see me tonight. I did not oblige. I told her I didn't want to see her, didn't want to have anything to do with her, and granted her wish to date as many men as possible all at once.

It's funny when you put someone on a pedestal and worship their every move and all of a sudden that crashes down to earth and you see them for who they really are. I get who she really is tonight, only wish I could have seen that sooner.

She wanted to get together and talk and I sort of said to her why would I want to do that? She pulled all the cute voices, tears, blah blah blah and I just shrugged it off and thought there's no point in going any further when the damage and the decision has been done.

Onwards and upwards....

Thanks again....

To quote Reggie:

"HA HA

Stupid Girl."

Congrats pal for moving on with your life. It's sad but true that a tiger doesn't change its stripes

[ken0042]

Good to see you are handling this well. I have to agree with the "drop her and don't look back" mentality. As it stands now she was wrong, and AFAIK you did nothing to be the bad guy. No point is spoiling that now; ie no point in giving her cause to go "Fatal Attraction" on you.

[FireFly]

Some women disgust me. Because one guy isn't good enough? And if that's you on the website in your sig, you're hot! Good to hear you're moving on and moving forward.

[Flashpoint]

LA Flames Fan

Sorry to hear about the betrayal. That sucks. You totally did the right thing by cutting her off - short and sweet. Now you just have to resist the urge to ever call her again. After all...

http://www.slap-shot.com/MoeNoGood.mp3

Originally Posted by Rakiet

Move on.
A tiger doesn't change its stripes.

It's "cheetah doesn't change it's spots."

You know, a play on the word "cheater"? Grossly misusing font size isn't going to help you make friends either. Try to figure some of this stuff out before you make an ass of yourself on your first day.

[DuffMan]

screw her sister.

[Tikk]

Originally Posted by Regulator75

Call Maury, confront her on national TV. Atleast you get a free trip to New York!

There's nothing that gets your message across better than a smelly, nasty dead fish! Sew one up into her car's interior, or if the skank doesn't have one, squeeze some fresh shrimp into the holes on the side of her curtain rods.

She'll be smelling that for a long time!