Having hobbies that family can validate?

[I-Hate-Hulse]

Are you Asian?

[GGG]

I think there is a big it depends here that we don’t know if you current behaviours are detrimental.

As a parent of still teenagers here is what I would be concerned with.

Are you putting a work week worth of effort into something additive. They can be labour for money, this can be learning a new skill, this can be educational, this can be looking for work. You currently are part time on the labour front so what are you adding to that to get to a minimum of 40hrs of productive effort. If you had a full time job this should probably be 50 hrs so you have some external from work time for self improvement.

Are you getting your recommended 150 minutes of physical activity per week? If not this is a concern and a habit you should build while young.

Do you have at least one in person social activity per week. (This could be combined with say video games or hockey in my opinion as long as it’s physically in person and not online)

Are your share of household chores done? You should be doing your own cleaning and laundry for your space plus taking on cleaning, and cooking activities for shared spaces. This should be done without anyone asking you

Are you getting 7-9hrs of sleep per night?
Are you out of bed for at least 14hrs a day?

The goal of this list is to ensure you are looking after your work requirements, physical health, mental health, and ensuring you are getting in person face time with people outside of family and work.


If you have checked off those boxes I don’t think I would care if the rest of the time is spent tiktoking, watching hockey, playing video games or whatever else. And if you do the above efficiently you probably have 40-50hrs of free time. If you aren’t checking those boxes then I think your mom is just poorly expressing what she is concerned about and instead of having the more difficult conversation it’s easier to just rant about video games.

[Cappy]

Video games were a very guilty pleasure of mine since college.

I didnt like to admit i played video games and anytime i did play, i felt like i should be doing something else.

now i don't give a ####. I enjoy them, they are a nice escape after a crap day of work, and its more engaging than just watching tv.

Video games as a hobby are also way more approved nowadays. I've seen people openly display video games as a hobby on websites and even resumes, and not being admonished or judged on it.

As long as it doesn't take over your life or prevents you from doing your day to day responsibilities, no one should care what your hobbies are.

[V1nnyTh3Flam35Fan]

Originally Posted by undercoverbrother

How old are you

28 years old

[V1nnyTh3Flam35Fan]

Originally Posted by I-Hate-Hulse

Are you Asian?

Vietnamese Canadian since you’re curious

[V1nnyTh3Flam35Fan]

Originally Posted by GGG

I think there is a big it depends here that we don’t know if you current behaviours are detrimental.

As a parent of still teenagers here is what I would be concerned with.

Are you putting a work week worth of effort into something additive. They can be labour for money, this can be learning a new skill, this can be educational, this can be looking for work. You currently are part time on the labour front so what are you adding to that to get to a minimum of 40hrs of productive effort. If you had a full time job this should probably be 50 hrs so you have some external from work time for self improvement.

Are you getting your recommended 150 minutes of physical activity per week? If not this is a concern and a habit you should build while young.

Do you have at least one in person social activity per week. (This could be combined with say video games or hockey in my opinion as long as it’s physically in person and not online)

Are your share of household chores done? You should be doing your own cleaning and laundry for your space plus taking on cleaning, and cooking activities for shared spaces. This should be done without anyone asking you

Are you getting 7-9hrs of sleep per night?
Are you out of bed for at least 14hrs a day?

The goal of this list is to ensure you are looking after your work requirements, physical health, mental health, and ensuring you are getting in person face time with people outside of family and work.


If you have checked off those boxes I don’t think I would care if the rest of the time is spent tiktoking, watching hockey, playing video games or whatever else. And if you do the above efficiently you probably have 40-50hrs of free time. If you aren’t checking those boxes then I think your mom is just poorly expressing what she is concerned about and instead of having the more difficult conversation it’s easier to just rant about video games.

If you’re one of those guys that suggest alpha podcasts, I would be very concerned to taking advice from you. Also ever since that toxic conversation, I’ve been experiencing sleepless where I truly feel like I can’t sleep. I hate the idea of exercise. Just a stupid way to get my clothes wet with sweat…

[V1nnyTh3Flam35Fan]

Originally Posted by Amethyst

It sounds like perhaps she's concerned that you are spending a lot of time alone at home and not interacting with others in person very much right now.

I remember specifically telling her I hate being around other people. Feels too suffocating

[Jason14h]

So you're 28 and live at home, work part time, don't like people, don't like to exercise and want to sit around and play video games and watch TV all day.

I have no idea why your Mom might be annoyed and trying to help you get a "real" hobby

[chedder]

I think you need to have a real look in the mirror. You can't just go from being a pharmacy tech to writing the board exam to being a pharmacist. You won't be able to write the licencing exam until you have your PharmD. To obtain that, you need to get into pharmacy school, which is an ultra competitive practical doctorate degree (4 years and $100 grand tuition) usually after an undergrad science degree. If you really want to go that route, studying your butt off for the next 4 plus years will be your main hobby.

[Scroopy Noopers]

Probably good arguments from both sides here. Bottom line is, if you want to do your own thing, then you need to run your own thing. Which includes your own place. Reading into your other posts I’ve seen, you’re going through it a bit right now. I’m sure this doesn’t help, but your mom also probably thinks she’s helping. You need your own spot.

[GGG]

Originally Posted by V1nnyTh3Flam35Fan

If you’re one of those guys that suggest alpha podcasts, I would be very concerned to taking advice from you. Also ever since that toxic conversation, I’ve been experiencing sleepless where I truly feel like I can’t sleep. I hate the idea of exercise. Just a stupid way to get my clothes wet with sweat…

What is an “alpha” podcast?

[Locke]

Volunteerism is a great use of time. I've done lots of it over the years, plus you meet a lot of new people and if you're volunteering at something you're interested in then you meet people who likely share that interest.

That or join the Army. I wouldnt recommend that at the moment, theres a higher than 'non-zero' chance that you could find yourself in some dust bowl on the other side of the world.

[Sr. Mints]

[undercoverbrother]

Originally Posted by Locke

join the Army. I wouldnt recommend that at the moment, theres a higher than 'non-zero' chance that you could find yourself in some dust bowl on the other side of the world.

Phuck yeah Bitch

[blankall]

Originally Posted by GGG

What is an “alpha” podcast?

Pretty sure he's referring to the Alpha Male manosphere type stuff.. Guys like Jordan Peterson and Andrew Tate are the most prominent examples, but there's lots not as extreme people with similar messages.

[Fuzz]

Originally Posted by V1nnyTh3Flam35Fan

If you’re one of those guys that suggest alpha podcasts, I would be very concerned to taking advice from you. Also ever since that toxic conversation, I’ve been experiencing sleepless where I truly feel like I can’t sleep. I hate the idea of exercise. Just a stupid way to get my clothes wet with sweat…

GGG is the forum poster who presents everything entirely dispassionately, while attempting to understand systems and behaviors. He's about the last person here that would argue Alpha talking points. But I understand your guarded response. Nobody likes to be told what to do(hell, it's why posted this thread) but your response is also along the lines of someone how just wants their view validated, and to not actually question what is behind it.

GGG laid out some very fair, rational lifestyle thoughts, and perhaps reasons why your mom is giving you a hard time. You are young, and should be putting all of your energy into improving your life later. Trust me, it's waaay harder when you are older. And yes, I know it sucks at your age, too. But most of us are speaking from experience of going to extended education, working crap jobs to make ends meet and toughing it out until we got to our goal. I lived in a rental with 4-15 room mates, depending on the day. It's not easy because life isn't easy.

If the argument is still affecting you, maybe some professional advice would help. There are free resources that you can use to talk to people. Talk to your doctor. It's certainly not healthy to be your age and have your sleep constantly destroyed by mental health and as you can see, is impacting your life. So fix it.

Life is a series of problems that need fixing, solving, moving on from...and I'm sorry to also sound like an Alpha, but dude, you gotta exercise. It's not really optional. The worst part is when you hit 35 losing weight is neigh impossible, forming habits is harder, your body is less capable. The trick with exercise is you have to find something you enjoy doing. Any movement is good. Biking, walking, disc golf, dodge ball, team sports might be good for your social life. Whatever, you have to find what works for you, but you really do have to find something. "Wet clothes" is a lame excuse, and I'm not sorry to say that.

He's also completely right about the chores, the exception being if your parents really want to support you to maximize the other areas of your life, it's OK to put less time there with their permission. But if you ever want to be a good spouse, you gotta be on these things regularly.

You sound lost and you need some help, but you really do have the power to do a lot of it yourself(unless their are disabilities here we aren't aware of). We are a bunch of guys who have lived through your life stage, but aren't so far from it as it to be alien to us. Keep asking for advice, it's up to you to actually do the work though.

[PuckSlap]

Originally Posted by undercoverbrother

How old are you

Bro, have you seen the housing market, He could be bill gates.