Mental solutions to life’s roadblocks

[Dion]

The more you own the more it owns you. Simplify your life by getting rid of material things that create stress in your life.

Learn to be grateful for everything you have in your life. Feeling thankful can improve your health in both direct and indirect ways. Some research shows that the experience of gratitude can induce a sense of relaxation, improve the immune system, and decrease blood pressure.

Any activity that takes you away from the stresses of life. Plus develop friendships with people who enjoy the same activities.

Exercise your brain and train it to think in a positive manner. It can be as simple as having a diary and writing down each day all the good things that have happened.

Focus on what's important to you. Ignore all the noise from friends and loved one who try to tell you what is best for you.

Pay it back to society. For me it meant volunteering in a care facility or with the Special Olympics here in High River.

[Red Slinger]

I'll add mindfullness/meditation. I've found it very beneficial.

Originally Posted by flamesfever

I think too much introspection can be unhealthy

Not sure what you mean by this. Generally, I think introspection helps one understand themselves. I think the alternative to this is denial and that will eventually catch up with you whether you like it or not.

I would go easy on the mushrooms

I personally don't like mushrooms but I find weed in moderation is very helpful.

I would suggest being as positive as you can be, be grateful for what you have, and enjoy each day as much as you can.

Gratitude has been shown to be one of the most effective tools for mental health. I would caution people about positivity though. Some people tend to see this as always looking on the bright side while also glossing over or ignoring potentially troubling or negative thoughts. Again, that's a form of denial that will gradually build over time and become more difficult to deal with and can lead to more mental health issues.

I'll also add that physical exercise, healthy eating and good sleeping habits can be very beneficial to overall mental health.

[flamesfever]

Originally Posted by Red Slinger

I'll add mindfullness/meditation. I've found it very beneficial.



Not sure what you mean by this. Generally, I think introspection helps one understand themselves. I think the alternative to this is denial and that will eventually catch up with you whether you like it or not.



I personally don't like mushrooms but I find weed in moderation is very helpful.



Gratitude has been shown to be one of the most effective tools for mental health. I would caution people about positivity though. Some people tend to see this as always looking on the bright side while also glossing over or ignoring potentially troubling or negative thoughts. Again, that's a form of denial that will gradually build over time and become more difficult to deal with and can lead to more mental health issues.

I'll also add that physical exercise, healthy eating and good sleeping habits can be very beneficial to overall mental health.

From what I have read and experienced, while introspection can lead to self-understanding, insights, solutions and goal-setting, too much can lead to rumination, overthinking and engaging in thought processes that may lead to unfavorable outcomes.

[Slava]

Originally Posted by CroFlames

Is there anything out there besides the Calm app, or is that the gold-standard?

Originally Posted by Winsor_Pilates

Headspace is the other big one in the app world

I'd recommend trying these apps and also trying mediation without an app. I've meditated for years and I find the apps super distracting. It's personal though, and obviously some people love them, but it just wasn't for me.

[puckedoff]

I find that blocking off a few minutes a day to argue with strangers on the internet (with no distractions) has done wonders for my mental health.

[DoubleF]

I'm changing my mindset to survive parenthood, so I kinda get it. For me it's looking back at the DINK lifestyle but not remembering the cons of that lifestyle vs the pros of the parent lifestyle that can really erode away your mental health IMO. For me, I've been focusing on the following:

1. What is the least I can do today to bring a positive change to my environment for others? (preferably long term).

This ranges from wandering into a room and leaving with small bits of mess, to minor tweaks in how I behave or help with processes at work to foster a happier environment. I've met enough older and advanced aged individuals who are alone because they've driven everyone else away.

Like, individuals that drove their spouse to death or divorce and their kids don't interact with them because they're an #######. Plain and simple.

2. Less is more.

Adapted from programming principle, it loosely also ties into K.I.S.S.

Complicate life with more things, life is more complicated. Simplified life, simplified problems.

This isn't just physical clutter. It's digital clutter as well. Unsubscribe from stuff you don't need to know about and delete those apps you haven't used in 2+ years.

Sleep is the simplest way of disconnecting and getting R&R. Meditation isn't far from that simplicity as well. Alcohol, cannabis and other stuff is just more complex stuff to attain something similar.

3. Your legacy is created and maintained by others.

Designed into this concept is the concept of altruism vs hedonism. Others working with me means less effort from me, but a greater return on the effort and larger legacy. Maybe it's loosely based on the current "work smarter not harder" phrase. But I hate how people use that phrase.

4. Who cares?

This ties to gratitude and self worth plus focuses on important people in your life. One or two people's opinion who you truly care about are worth more than a hundred who want you to doom scroll their life and have no stake in your life.

It's kinda the stupid monkey with the cucumber and grape video. For all the grapes that the influencers have on instagram, they have tons of cucumbers in other categories where you have grapes. You were happy with a cucumber anyways, why are you suddenly raging you don't have a grape?

5. The roommate theory. (objectivity)

Delete all other relational aspects of other stuff. This attempt objectivity is that what you can do to be a better roommate to any roommate (but specifically to your spouse and kids or vice versa), is probably positive. Yes, the relationship aspect means you tolerate more ####, but at the fundamental level, leaving #### around the house is just being a bad roommate no matter the relationship level. You just might be lucky to have roommates that have tolerated a ton of bull#### for a long time.

[tvp2003]

Good stuff in here. As a borderline hoarder I'm still working on getting rid of stuff but I never seem to miss it when I do (well, most of the time).

I also deleted a few social media sites recently that were ending up to be big timewasters. Don't miss that at all. Could CP be next?

[Traditional_Ale]

Do what you love every day and do it like you know its the last time you get to, because you never know when the last time will be and it WILL happen.

I've had the privilege of playing and working with many, many great artists who are no longer with us. Many from old age, but sadly so many far too young. Its actually breaking my heart a bit thinking about this.

[Red Slinger]

Originally Posted by flamesfever

From what I have read and experienced, while introspection can lead to self-understanding, insights, solutions and goal-setting, too much can lead to rumination, overthinking and engaging in thought processes that may lead to unfavorable outcomes.

Sure, I can agree that too much navel-gazing can potentially be detrimental. I think we're maybe talking about two different forms of introspection: You are referring to actively thinking about and obsessing about yourself including re-living past events and thinking about potential future events, while I'm referring more to the mindfulness aspect (more experiential side) which is focused on experiencing yourself in the present.

[Russic]

Lots of great stuff in this thread already, but I'll add what's been working for me:

Waking Up app (from Sam Harris): the guided meditations are great for me, but some find he talks way too much, so mileage varies (there's a trial). What I love about the app is in the theory section, where it dives deep into the why and how of meditation more than other apps I've used.

Learning to say no to things you want to do: Saying no to garbage tasks is an obvious one, but leaning into mono-tasking by turning down things I actually want to do has been very helpful. I found it was very easy to be doing 4 things all at once, making zero progress at any of it because I could never get momentum.

Leaning into discomfort: Not seeking it out like a masochist, but doing what I can to give up the resistance to life's inevitable pains has been highly transformative for me. Incredibly hard to do, but if you start small and work up (with mild boredom, for example), you can start to adjust your relationship to all forms of pain.

Compassion (self and otherwise): Depends how you view yourself, but this one has been big for me also. Metta meditations have been amazing for this, and it helped me through the Trump/covid years.

The gist is to spend some time viewing that all people (yourself very much included) have been given a toolbox to get through life and we're all just doing our best. Some of us got kick-ass toolboxes, some of us got monstrously terrible ones. We didn't choose our toolboxes, and we're all doing the best we can with what we've got.

Time travel cosplay: This was a tip from a podcast I listened to... if you find yourself annoyed with life for whatever reason, take a moment and cosplay yourself as an 80 year old given the opportunity to travel to this moment only. Maybe your kids are healthy, spouse is alive, body doesn't ache... whatever it is. You might find it puts things in perspective and allows for some gratitude.

Psychedelic Recommendation: "How to Change Your Mind" by Michael Pollan is an outstanding read. I have friends who've read it multiple times.

[DoubleF]

I don't know if this helps, but rejection therapy?
https://www.rejectiontherapy.com/100...ection-therapy

Many people have this paralyzing fear of being rejected and this guy started trying to desensitize himself to this fear, but discovered more than simple self improvement he was seeking.

Kinda goes with a "doesn't hurt to ask" sort of thing.

[Igottago]

Lots of good advice here..I can add that my mental health has become 5-10% better this year, a year in which I haven't had a drop of alcohol. It's not a panacea for all of life's difficulties, but I deal with stress better and can regulate my overall health and well being much better.
I used to use alcohol to deal with stress but it in fact wasn't providing much benefit in that regard.

In addition to that, regular exercise, eating reasonably healthy and living less time in front of a computer or screen are all net positives. Things we all know but don't always apply.

[Traditional_Ale]

Originally Posted by Igottago

Lots of good advice here..I can add that my mental health has become 5-10% better this year, a year in which I haven't had a drop of alcohol.

This.

[Red Slinger]

Originally Posted by Traditional_Ale

This.

User name does not compute.

[TorqueDog]

I have been following @Jefferson_Fisher on Instagram just for some tips on communication and not letting things get to me. Some good stuff in there.

[Traditional_Ale]

Originally Posted by Red Slinger

User name does not compute.

I actually posted about it a while back. I'm eight months sober today after a lot of hard living. The mental health and alcohol relationship cannot be understated, in my opinion. I legit feel reborn. Feels really good, man.