Quote:
Originally Posted by N-E-B
As a ref, coaches and parents, please stop yelling at us. Especially if the referee is younger. It's kids playing hockey. It's not serious. I'm almost 30, so I can handle it, but the amount of young officials I've seen that get dejected because some donkey coach is screaming at them over a tripping call is ridiculous. Only 1/3rd of first year referees come back for a second year. If you have a concern with a referee, call him over, step down from the bench, and talk to him in a respectful way.
Your job isn't to yell and berate us, it's to set lines and manage your bench. You are just as responsible, if not more-so, for keeping the games under control. Your kids don't follow my example, they follow you. If you get pissed off over a missed call, they do. If you remain calm, they remain calm. Referees are human, and they're going to miss calls. Most of us don't do it as a career. We don't get paid hundreds of thousands of dollars to do this like NHL referees do. We do it for fun, spare change, and to stay involved in the game we all love.
This idea that referees are responsible for keeping hockey games under control is complete and total nonsense. It's on the coaches. Full stop.
It's truly embarrassing how adults act over minor hockey. The kids rarely complain. It's the 40 year old losers behind the bench that get pissed off the most. You ruin the game for the refs and your kids.
As a referee, Tim Peel should know this. What a joke he is.
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Sadly its not hockey, its all sports.
I've been coaching football at various levels for about 15 years. The abuse of refs by parents and coaches is embarrassing.
I think as coaches we forget that we're not coaching in the NFL or CFL. That amateur leagues are supposed to be learning leagues first and foremost. That refs are just as inexperienced as some of the coaches or players out there.
I mean it does no good with a lot of parents to make them sign a code of conduct, or to talk to them at the start of the season about behaviors that are acceptable. Lets be honest, there are some awesome parents out there. But there are a lot of parents that are just frankly abusive to refs, coaches on their kids team, and even opposing players.
I have this rule now, for the most part, I leave communications with parents to the head coach, If a parent comes up to me with some respect and wants to talk fine. But don't ask me why your kid isn't playing as much as you like if you don't want an honest answer.
As parents don't sit in the stands and scream obscenities at coaches or refs. Act like an adult.
Learn and understand that the chances of your kid moving up to the next level in a competitive program are actually pretty narrow, the living vicariously through your kid with dreams of him stepping into a professional league are close to zero.
To give an illustration of that, in the years I've coached 100's of kids and a hand ful have gone to the college level and two to a pro camp.
That's the facts.
Its the same or worse in hockey.
We don't need parents in the stands yelling at coaches to "Go $$$$ themselves" because their kid isn't getting 20 balls thrown to him a game. We don't need parents coming to us with a bunch of pages of plays that they've drawn up that they suggest you put in for your own good. (Yeah, I've had that happen, and I walked the plays over to the dumpster in front of him and dropped them in. I don't care if you think you're a football genius).
refs don't need to be confronted in the parking lot, or sworn at by coaches during and after a game.
Its getting ridiculous. It makes it unfun for the kids, for the volunteer coaches and the volunteer refs.
