Brad Treliving is promoted to president of hockey operations.
Craig Conroy is promoted GM.
Calls Lou everyday to just chat and ends up talking so much that in he induces a hypnosis on him to trade Barzal, Dobson and 2023 1st unprotected to Calgary for Matt Tkachuk.
Flames trade Markstrom to Carolina for Rantta and Necas
Flames trade Elias to Montreal for 2023 1st rounder unprotected but conroy confused Kent Hughes into giving their 1st rounder and the panthers.
Flames and Montreal finish bottom 2 in the league
Edmonton misses the playoffs after McDavid breaks his ankle shoveling the snow in Edmonton With the worst odds the oilers receive the 2023 1st overall pick.
Flames draft Mitchkov but Putin sends him to the gulag(/S). Never plays in the NHL.
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Tkachuk is traded for an underwhelming return: a first from a team who makes the final 4, a prospect who can't stick in the league, a young player who shows promise but just fizzles after coming to Calgary, and an established player who asks to be traded next off-season. Flames trade this year's first to try and make the playoffs but don't and their pick that's top 3 protected gets the #4 pick.
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You want outrageous and positive, I'll throw my hat in. My lack of anything better to do might as well be used for something:
Spoiler!
July:
Mysterious, eccentric art collector pays $50 million for the works of one Puppet Guy. Earlier that same day, Puppet Guy returns his empties to the bottle depot, receiving an undisclosed nine-figure sum.
Later that same afternoon, Puppet Guy finds the lost treasure of Scumchop the Pirate while removing weeds from his vegetable garden. The combined value of this day of windfall makes Puppet Guy the world’s first trillionaire.
The following Wednesday, Puppet Guy purchases the Calgary Flames. New arena deal is closed later that afternoon, with naming rights to be changed monthly among Calgary and area’s many, many small breweries.
New Flames ownership hires Tibetan monks to perform exorcism in Saddledome to remove whatever hex the hockey gods placed on the team in the summer of 1989. Saddledome becomes a noisy, fun place to be (albeit with a few surreal elements owing to ownership’s influence; pre-game videos are never dull).
August:
With Matthew Tkachuk traded the previous month and the free agent marked exhausted, Flames management collectively throws their hands in the air and says “###### it!”. Roster will consist of the players currently under contract.
October 12: Night before season opener. Saddledome hosts public viewing of Slap Shot with team in attendance. Darryl Sutter forbids building DJs from ever playing Johnny B Goode ever again.
October 13: Flames home opener vs Colorado. Sellout crowd yells “Come Home Cale!” every time Cale Makar touches the puck. Flames lose 8-3.
October 15: First road game in Edmonton. Inspired by the Slap Shot showing, Nikita Zadorov clotheslines Evander Kane during pre-game warmup. Zadorov subsequently suspended for forty games, Kane requires surgery to reattach his head to his body. With Edmonton intimidated by the pre-game carnage, Flames win 10-0. Jerseys fly.
November 1: During Kane’s convalescence, further details of his sordid past are revealed, forcing the NHL to suspend him for life. Zadorov’s suspension reduced to six games in gratitude for giving the league the excuse to get rid of Kane. Zadorov scores OT winner in 3-2 victory over Seattle.
December 9: Flames visit Columbus. Sean Monahan miraculously returns to the lineup for one game. He does not contribute on the scoreboard, but secures victory by dropping a bag of Skittles in the neutral zone, allowing Milan Lucic to freight train a distracted John Gaudreau, forcing a turnover allowing recent call-up Connor Zary to score his first NHL goal.
January 21: A la the October 13 game, Flames fans chant “Come Home Brayden” whenever Brayden Point touches the puck as Tampa Bay visits Calgary. Confused, he inadvertently scored on his own net, giving the Flames a 4-3 victory.
January 23: John Gaudreau returns to Calgary as a Blue Jacket. However, he does not play as he begins vomiting violently in the locker room prior to warm-ups. It is revealed the team chef (a disgruntled fan) tampered with his meal. Flames win 13-0.
February All-Star break: Flames are in dogfight with Dallas and Winnipeg for last playoff spot.
April 12: Flames secure final playoff spot with 2-1 shootout win against San Jose. Win is their eighth in a row.
Round One:
Flames @ Avalanche. Shocking the hockey world, Calgary knocks off the defending Stanley Cup champion in six games. Breaking from tradition, Calgary wins game 2 of the series by 5-2 margin. Cale Makar again confused by the “Come home Cale” chanting.
Round Two:
Flames @ Golden Knights. Flames sweep Vegas, winning in Las Vegas for the first time ever. Vegas games are topped off by the sight of Evander Kane being beaten by bouncers outside The Bellagio.
Round Three:
Flames @ Wild. Flames over Minnesota (who shocked the league by winning the President’s trophy) in five.
Stanley Cup final:
Flames over Rangers in five, with three wins coming in overtime. With the Flames totally bought into the Sutter Method (to the point of cult-like devotion), New York is completely cowed and offers no resistance. Adam Fox refuses to leave the hotel during the Calgary games. Dan Vladar is named Conn Smythe winner. A week of celebrations is declared by the City, with the parade being held three days after the deciding game.
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Last edited by Puppet Guy; 07-21-2022 at 10:26 AM.
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The most epic scenario would be that Tkachuk is willing to play with Gaudreau so Columbus would be in the mix. Tre then decides to only take picks , 1st (unprotected) and 2nd from both 2023 and 2024.
Blue Jackets finally find a trade partner for Laine but do not receive much to help.
Mid way through the season Sillinger or Johnson are not the spark plugs to get both wingers going so Tre circles back and offers Lindholm + Columbus 2024 picks back for both young centers and then trades one of them to a middle of the pack team for their 2023 1st round pick (unprotected).
We get help from Juju as the middle of the pack team finishes 31st just ahead of Columbus. Flames do not make the playoffs( finish 17th) but win the lottery and therefore get the 3 first picks of 2023.
and for the first time in NHL history, the 3 prospects (Bedard,Michkov and Fantili)share the stage at the same time.
Flames gets a mediocre season and by trading deadline, they sell. Surprisingly, they still manage to get into the playoffs and wins it all. By this time, everyone's all happy and surprised. Darryl win another Jack Adams by doing the impossible. Then comes the draft, against all odds, even by winning the Cup, Flames get the lottery win and they draft Bedard. Then, by the strangest of odds, they get the second pick for Michkov from trading Tkachuk. Wait, wait draft is not done yet. They trade Markstrom for a 3rd overall 2023 pick. Flames make it out like a badass bandit!
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The Flames sell over just about everything. They get 7 extra 1st round picks in return in the 2023 draft. Phillips, Ruzicka, Poirier, Pelletier, and Coronato all step into the lineup...they kill it. Phillips and Pelletier are both Calder candidates, but Pelletier takes it. Despite that, the team still finishes in the bottom 3, as Vladar is the starter and he is just awful...they win the draft lottery. The team has an awful record....except for the last 10 games when Wolf is called up and has a .960 SV%.
In the 2023 off season, Calgary signs RoR, Huberdeau and Pastrnak. The rest is history.
The Flames sell over just about everything. They get 7 extra 1st round picks in return in the 2023 draft. Phillips, Ruzicka, Poirier, Pelletier, and Coronato all step into the lineup...they kill it. Phillips and Pelletier are both Calder candidates, but Pelletier takes it. Despite that, the team still finishes in the bottom 3, as Vladar is the starter and he is just awful...they win the draft lottery. The team has an awful record....except for the last 10 games when Wolf is called up and has a .960 SV%.
In the 2023 off season, Calgary signs RoR, Huberdeau and Pastrnak. The rest is history.
Tkachuk gets traded to Buffalo (I don't care if he wants to goto St Louis) for their 2023 1st but BT wants more so Buffalo acquires Arizona's 2023 1st to trade to Calgary aswell
Lucic gets traded to Chicago for their 2023 1st
Markstrom, Tanev, Taffoli get traded to Montreal for their 2023 1st & Juraj Slafkovsky
The 2022/23 Flames lead by now a fully healed and invigorated Sean Monahan, AHL call ups, and Vladar/Wolf in net win the Pacific Division, Western Conference, President's Trophy, and Stanley Cup.
Katz is forced to sell the Oilers while sitting behind bars but Kane makes sure to come visit him every week
The Oilers rehire Chiarelli and the combo of him and Holland immediately trade McDavid and Drai to the KHL for Dan Cloutier and Alexei Yashin and sign both players to 8×11
Monohan commits to Calgary long term and signs a 8×7 after leading the league in points
Wolf narrowly beats Pelletier out for rookie of the year and wins the Vezina
Sutter wins the Jack Adam's
The Flames get the top 3 pics in the 2023 draft and are the first team since the Islanders to win 4 cups in a row
Gudreau & Tkachuk watch highlights of the Flames cup win on Sportscentre Saturday morning in their Flames pajamas while eating Lucky Charms
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Flames graduate prospects and rotate players back and forth from our AHL roster .
This ends up being the greatest thing ever done by the Flames because it actually works really well .
Sutter wins the Jack Adam's, Markstrom gets 11 shut outs during the season, Vladar gets 5 and we make it to the conference final.
Finally the team breaks ground on an amazing new shiny building which we open in 2025.
Location: A simple man leading a complicated life....
Exp:
Johnny Gaudreau has buyers remorse after Christmas and demands a trade back to Calgary at the trade deadline. Columbus is not happy and includes the Cannon in the trade with a promise from the Flames to use after every goal Guadreau scores.
With Darryl still the coach I feel like the Flames go status quo in trying to get assets for Tkachuk. Then they'll see how the team performs and see if giving some players expanded roles if they can succeed in them. Likely they'll be fighting for a playoff spot and choose to be sellers at the trade deadline. They won't be able to be close enough to have a chance at the lottery pick and thus the rebuild will commence without a superstar. By the end of the year Sutter steps down and they bring in a new coach to help guide young players.
haha just saw this was Outrageous so guess I need to edit.
Oilers win the Stanley cup after the Flames trade them key pieces Markstrom and Backlund.
