Interesting Parenting Question

[activeStick]

Originally Posted by KTrain

The ghosts are afraid of you but not your wife.

3am is the witching hour, right?

[FlamesAddiction]

Originally Posted by Maritime Q-Scout

My wife noticed this the other day.

For the last week our son has slept through the night about half the time. The other half he would wake up at about 3 or so crying. When he does that we have to get up to soothe him or take him into bed with us (yes, yes, I know the cry it out theory, not my question).

Here's what's interesting.

When I put him down he sleeps through the night.

When my wife puts him down he wakes at 3am.

Last night we experimented by me putting him down, and again he slept through the night.

Why would this be?

I didn't say anything at first because it wasn't your question, but I am not a big fan of the "cry it out" approach. There are a lot of sources that do not believe the method is helpful and that it could be harmful.

For our baby, we tried the "cry it out" method, and it was brutal. A lot of people disagree with this, but we have co-slept with our daughter from the time she was an infant until the present (she is just over 3 years old). She has always slept through the night for the most part. Sometimes she will wake up and ask weird questions or babble about dreams, or sometimes she will want to sing a song. But it lasts minutes and she goes right back to sleep. And those moments are amazing to me.

It was never our plan to co-sleep, but when she was born, she was a sickly baby. She spent the first 6 weeks in the NICU where there were always people around and sounds. When we took her home, I think the silence at night freaked her out than most babies. Plus, the valve in her stomach was underdeveloped for several months which meant that if you laid her flat, her stomach contents would pour out of her. There was no easy way to get her to hold anything down and sleep without holding her upright and co-sleeping.

She can sleep on her own now and is showing interest in having her own bed, and I think it will come along naturally. But for now, it's fine. We never endured the sleepless nights or waking up at 4 am with a crying baby or toddler. Nor does she fight to stay awake since we all go to bed together at first.

Some people tell us that she is going to become too dependent, but I really don't think so. Our pediatrician is an advocate for it as well. Aside from the co-sleeping, she is the most independent toddler I have ever met. She wants to do everything on her own. She even makes her own toast!

The bottom line is, I don't feel that there is a right or wrong way to do it. It is whatever works for you and your baby. They are all individuals with their own needs.

[FireGilbert]

My daughter acts up way more around my wife than me. Supposedly children like to push the limits of their primary caregiver. Not sure this explains waking up in the night though.

We always let her cry it out and only go in to comfort her if she sounds in pain or the crying just isn't stopping. Things worked out very well for us as we now have a 2 year old that will entertain herself if she wakes up early. We can put her to bed at 8pm and don't have to worry about her til 8am.

[sec304]

Storytime: We had never slept with my first born daughter in bed with us, but we were on a vacation and rented a house with our family members so all we had was one bedroom for the three of us so we gave it a try. She's a very busy sleeper, always moving and rolling around. She was almost 3 years old and was going through some random night terrors occasionally. On our second night at the rental house she had a bad dream, she screamed then threw her legs up and started kicking violently, I was half woken by the scream and before I could assess or understand what was going on the heel of her right foot kicked back down into not one but both of my testicles.


I think I cried louder than her. They hurt for 6 days. I never slept with her or her future sister ever again.

[FlamesAddiction]

Originally Posted by sec304

Storytime: We had never slept with my first born daughter in bed with us, but we were on a vacation and rented a house with our family members so all we had was one bedroom for the three of us so we gave it a try. She's a very busy sleeper, always moving and rolling around. She was almost 3 years old and was going through some random night terrors occasionally. On our second night at the rental house she had a bad dream, she screamed then threw her legs up and started kicking violently, I was half woken by the scream and before I could assess or understand what was going on the heel of her right foot kicked back down into not one but both of my testicles.


I think I cried louder than her. They hurt for 6 days. I never slept with her or her future sister ever again.

Toddlers will always manage to hit the testicles. Having a 3 year old, I have never been sacked so many times in my life.

Maybe it's an evolutionary thing where they are trying to avoid sibling competitors as heirs.

[topfiverecords]

What happens if you both put him to bed together?

[You Need a Thneed]

Originally Posted by FlamesAddiction

I didn't say anything at first because it wasn't your question, but I am not a big fan of the "cry it out" approach. There are a lot of sources that do not believe the method is helpful and that it could be harmful.

For our baby, we tried the "cry it out" method, and it was brutal. A lot of people disagree with this, but we have co-slept with our daughter from the time she was an infant until the present (she is just over 3 years old). She has always slept through the night for the most part. Sometimes she will wake up and ask weird questions or babble about dreams, or sometimes she will want to sing a song. But it lasts minutes and she goes right back to sleep. And those moments are amazing to me.

It was never our plan to co-sleep, but when she was born, she was a sickly baby. She spent the first 6 weeks in the NICU where there were always people around and sounds. When we took her home, I think the silence at night freaked her out than most babies. Plus, the valve in her stomach was underdeveloped for several months which meant that if you laid her flat, her stomach contents would pour out of her. There was no easy way to get her to hold anything down and sleep without holding her upright and co-sleeping.

She can sleep on her own now and is showing interest in having her own bed, and I think it will come along naturally. But for now, it's fine. We never endured the sleepless nights or waking up at 4 am with a crying baby or toddler. Nor does she fight to stay awake since we all go to bed together at first.

Some people tell us that she is going to become too dependent, but I really don't think so. Our pediatrician is an advocate for it as well. Aside from the co-sleeping, she is the most independent toddler I have ever met. She wants to do everything on her own. She even makes her own toast!

The bottom line is, I don't feel that there is a right or wrong way to do it. It is whatever works for you and your baby. They are all individuals with their own needs.

For my first, letting her cry it out was a complete waste of everyone’s time.

For my second, letting him cry it out was a fantastic strategy, that worked in a couple minutes every time.

My first has always liked to cosleep, from the day she was born, until the present (She’s 11 and still likes to fall asleep beside mom sometimes, I just send her to bed when I’m ready to lay down). I have no issues with her independence otherwise. #When she was a toddler, and letting herself cry herself to sleep didn’t work, we tried sitting beside her in her crib for a while, which had mixed results, often we sat for an hour while she was quiet, and appeared to have fallen asleep, and we’d try to sneak out, but even a slight creak might wake her up again. Eventually, we moved her crib mattress to beside our bed on the floor, and literally never had a problem again. We could put her to sleep there, and didn’t even have to be in the room.

[indes]

We did the cry it out and our son went from a terrible sleeper to a dream sleeper in about a week. We started when he was 13 months I think and now he's almost 3, extremely reliable for 12 hours a night.

[calf]

Originally Posted by indes

We did the cry it out and our son went from a terrible sleeper to a dream sleeper in about a week. We started when he was 13 months I think and now he's almost 3, extremely reliable for 12 hours a night.

We did cry it out as well as a last resort. The lack of sleep and constant wakeups were terrible for all, and none of the suggested techniques out there worked at all.

Now there's just the odd nightmare that wakes him up every so often and he sleeps great.

It's definitely not for everyone, and I can see why people might have an issue with it...but for us, something had to be done for our sanity.

[Shazam]

We cried it out with the first one.

We went full hippie with the second one. When she was around three years old, she said to us "I'm ready to sleep by myself". And that was that.