Lets Talk 'bout Relationships and Seperate Vacations

[DownhillGoat]

Originally Posted by fundmark19

Guilt Free!

Tell me again why I'm not allowed to tell your wife about the Lion's game?

I'm firmly in the "go for it" camp with a few caveats. If it's not at the jeopardy of the rest of the family, ie: Sorry kids no Christmas presents this year, dad's going to Moab instead (which you have already stated that it's not the case, so that one's moot). And secondly, if it's not a double-standard and have no issue if the wife did the same, I don't see a problem.

I have a few buddies that go on solo trips, the unwritten rule being the wife gets to do the same, and it doesn't come at the expense of a family trip the same year.

[Lanny_McDonald]

My wife and I have done it a couple times. I go on a two week golf junket with the boys and she goes to some far off land with her mother. As long as it doesn't become habitual I think it is really healthy for the relationship. I say go bike your brains out! Oh, and happy 50th!

[spetch]

Ya its definitely a two way sort of thing. My wife didn't even want to go on her first trip away from me and the daughter, but she is glad she did. The breaks seem to strengthen our relationship each time one of us comes back.

[terminator]

we both go on trips without each other but with our friends.

Never even thought of it be wrong or right just normal.

[Table 5]

This is a sign of a great wife. Those people who think their wife is out to trap them are either paranoid or have a terrible wife.

Ive travelled without my wife, and she's gone to places without me. We both trust each other, and the time apart is nice sometimes just to recharge your batteries a bit.

[V]

To be fair, I was only quoting the Desolation of Smaug.

I went to China for two weeks for a study tour this year. She survived, although 2 weeks is a long time to take care of the kids on your own.

[DuffMan]

Start with a weekend bike trip away, working up to a week long golf trip with buddies, and before you know it you'll be heading to Thailand for sex junkets, without her.

[OutOfTheCube]

I don't really want to go on a vacation with anyone else other than my wife.

I don't know, a holiday by myself or with friends sounds awful -- either lonely or unbearable (I've found time with friends is best in short bursts). I'd rather not blow thousands of dollars of our money and spend time away from her (so she has to do everything around the house and take care of the kids) for something that she really doesn't get a lot out of.

Granted, we've only been married a year, but it doesn't seem really fair or even like something I'd be interested in doing.

[East Coast Flame]

Not married, but serious GF. Live together and marriage is not far off.

We are actually just about to head to the airport and go off on different trips. I'm off to Chicago and Green Bay for a sports trip with the guys and she is off to Seattle for a girls trip.

We travel a lot together, but usually do one trip a year without each other. We view it as pretty healthy.

[Imported_Aussie]

It depends on personalities of the couple too. My dad doesn't go on trips by himself much, but definitely going out for a day/afternoon - he used to fish, now he photographs wildlife. My mum would be bored, but then she occasionally does trips with a group of girls. They do the big trips together, but small trips/daytrips apart

me and my fiancee, she has done one trip w/o me, since she planned a big trip overseas before we met, but financially, we aren't in a place to do a lot of trips, just focus on the big ones which we do together (back to Australia, planning for honeymoon in Italy). If we had the wherewithal to do separate trips, then we could see if we would, but it has never really been an option

[GP_Matt]

I have done a few solo trips where the activity didn't interest my wife. I think they are a great idea if it is something that she doesn't want to do, but would breed resentment if I did something that she wanted to do.

Both of the major ones have started as a suggestion for a trip together that she had no interest in so I went without her. Whitewater kayaking in Costa Rica I offered to arrange for her to raft with us during the trip and when I went to hike up Kilimanjaro she met us at the base for the rest of the trip.

I also plan several weekends with the guys to go climbing, hiking or paddling where she doesn't come. She will spend a week in Florida this year without me.

We still plan vacations together though. It would be selfish to use all of my vacation or even a large portion without her.

I would also be in trouble if I scaled back our vacation to save money for a solo trip.

[Galakanokis]

My wife and I do it all the time. She's going for a week now to Seattle with her sister and I'll stay home with the kids. My buddies and I are planning a trip to Green Bay for a Packers game. No big deal, I don't want to go shopping and she doesn't want to go to a football game. We also plan family vacations. All in all it is no big deal.

Now if I planned a week or two at some swanky resort with a nice beach and what not all by myself that might be a problem.

[Peanut]

A holiday by myself sounds like a friggin dream come true. Like if I got the green light to go somewhere hot and sunny for a few days alone, I would be all over it. In fact, my husband is going on a mountain biking trip next summer with some friends and I'm already thinking how to best use the alone time that I earn from him going on that trip.

If she offered it up and it's your 50th birthday I would definitely go. Maybe "the trap" is that she's also going to want to do a solo trip herself sometime soon or for her 50th or something.

[bc-chris]

i've done an outing to calgary for a buddy's stag (we kidnapped him first thing in the morning and drove to calgary to take in a flames game - soooo much fun!!)

i've also done a couple trips to vancouver for cfl games with good buddies.

my wife was cool with those

going on a trip with my hockey team.... nope!! ha! ha!

she's done a bunch of trips to calgary and vancouver too - usually with her mom

i don't have a problem with it, and she doesn't seem to mind... unless it's with my mens' hockey team, then it's a nope! i think she knows the boys on my team too well! ha! ha!

[Dion]

My brother always flies home for Christmas week without his wife. They celebrate on Christmas eve, opening presents and having dinner and he hops a plane for Calgary/High River the next morning. He spends the week skiing and visiting with his buddies he went to SAIT with. His wife has no problems with this and encourages him to do it every year. So yeah, go for it.

[KTrain]

My wife and I take separate trips. However, those trips are always with our friends (guys trip/girls trip). For us, it's good to get away with our buddies to reconnect as we don't get a chance to do that as much with the kids. Going for drinks or hockey games isn't the same as a golf or Vegas trip.

That being said, I think would feel guilty about taking a trip completely alone (no friends either), unless it's work related. But I'm not a fan of travelling alone anyways. It's more fun to experience a place with other people.

[calumniate]

Indeed. What could possibly go wrong?

[#-3]

I think it really depends. I'd say in your case there is probably nothing wrong with it.

1st you have to make sure you are getting good quality time with the wife/family.

2nd if it is something your wife would really enjoy and there is no reason to leaver here behind you probably shouldn't. Sometimes, there are sports trips or stags or business trips or something where she just won't fit in well, and I don't see a problem leaving her behind and letting her save her vacation for something she might enjoy that you probably wouldn't participate in.

If you both really enjoy golfing, I would probably avoid going to phoenix without her
If you both enjoy wine, I would avoid going to central Cali without here........
Its just resentment waiting to happen.

[GirlySports]

If my husband traveled alone he wouldn't even know how to pack his own underwear.

[csnarpy]

Originally Posted by OutOfTheCube

I don't really want to go on a vacation with anyone else other than my wife.

I don't know, a holiday by myself or with friends sounds awful -- either lonely or unbearable (I've found time with friends is best in short bursts). I'd rather not blow thousands of dollars of our money and spend time away from her (so she has to do everything around the house and take care of the kids) for something that she really doesn't get a lot out of.

Granted, we've only been married a year, but it doesn't seem really fair or even like something I'd be interested in doing.

Here's the kicker. I never went anywhere without my wife, for the first 3/4 years. We traveled the tropics and Europe 2wice a year. It was awesome! Then came the kids...

Trust me, getting away for a breather is so refreshing...

To be honest, we started this when a few of my friends did a surprise bday party in Peurto Vallarta. My wife then went with her friends to PV as well. (It was a "ok you get a vacation then I get one). It was cool caus the other would take the kids when you were away. And now we've never looked back. I'm already booked for a 7 day cruise next March and she's going on a cruise in April. The week is refreshing and plus you get a little time with your friends.