Greatest of Life's Achievements (without actually achieving anything)

[socalwingfan]

After an afternoon of sushi and sake-bombs - i went grocery shopping with my wife half cut. While handling a 40oz bottle of beer, I accidently dropped it and somehow managed to catch it with my left index and middle fingers about a inch from the ground. Sad that this is one of my greatest accomplishments in life, but it was pretty impressive for the level of drunkeness it was performed under

[To Be Quite Honest]

I achieved a multiple orgasm. Unfortunately, I've never been able to recreate that fantastic experience, even alone and pressure free.

[Sr. Mints]

I had a couple classes in university with this one guy over the years, we sat together, became friends, and I never even learned his name. After a while I was just too embarrassed to let him know that I didn't know it.

I wonder what happened to him. Too bad I can't even look him up.

[AcGold]

First year University

Show up to class to write the weekly math quiz and it's a doozie. I walk out thinking it was an insanely hard quiz.

2 weeks later I ask the prof "when's the midterm?" he stares at me blankly, I stare at him blankly and we slowly go in opposite directions.

2 weeks later he says it's time to hand back the midterms. I'm freaking out, I'm screwed, missed the midterm, going to fail the class. He's going through the names alphabetically and he says my name... I look up like wtf......... prof looks at me, "is that your name?"

I reply with a confused yes. He hands me back my midterm and I slowly take it out of his hand. The really tough quiz from a month ago. I got an 86%. The time I accidentally did great on a test.

[CaptainCrunch]

I once made the Kessel run in under 12 parsecs.

[TheyCallMeBruce]

I was late for my exam on server networks by an hour. I also did not study and had forgot that I had an exam. I only noticed because for some reason I looked at my planner and realized I was in deep crap. I managed to get a 95% with only 2 hours to do the exam. Unfortunately, when my exam was handed back to me, I misplaced it. I can't even go back to see what I wrote that was so brilliant.

Another time while playing dodgeball, I manage to throw a ball that curved so much that it hit the opposing guy in the crotch, while he was in mid air, going opposite way of my intended throw.

[WilsonFourTwo]

Huge lake, small boat, big waves....unknowingly dragged a fish behind the boat for God knows how long, likely hours, probably the whole day.

Won the fishing derby with that fish. Good times.

[Winsor_Pilates]

Originally Posted by drewboy12

First time I got laid, and every time since.

Congratulations on both of your achievements

[Winsor_Pilates]

I am the 1st person to ever score a goal in the Calgary Soccer Centre

[octothorp]

I won the most improved academic award in my class three years in a row (which was a simple comparison of first and last term grades, and only reinforced my bad habits).

[Dion]

I once won an award for being the best burger flipper at McDonalds in Calgary.

[pylon]

In grade 8 I decided to make a Voyager space probe for a science project. Of course I waited until the last minute, and it was due the next day. That night my dad comes home at 5:30 from work, and sees this POS built out of chopsticks and a royal chinette plate that looked like something Homer Simpson made. Him being an engineer, and expert model builder this was not acceptable. So he sat down to 'help'.

I wake up at 7:30 am to go to school the next morning, and he is still sitting at the kitchen table covered in photos from books, with his sleeves rolled up, kitchen reaking of epoxy and rubber cement, tie loosened around his neck, and what I would estimate a 1/8 scale, near perfect replica of Voyager II sitting on the kitchen table. The thing could have gone in the frikkin Smithsonian, and he built it over night in 13 hours, using crap he found around the house.

It was so good, the Science teacher gave him 100% on the project, and asked if he would donate it to the school. It hung from the ceiling in that science lab for at least 15 years, and may still actually be there.

The following year he followed it up with a fully functional, 3 contestant, 'Wheel of Fortune' wheel for the school fair.

[gargamel]

Originally Posted by wittynickname

So I'm turning 31 today. In February I hooked up with a 21 year old college student. (Who just so happens to be a long-time client of mine, who I've had a pathetic crush on for longer than is okay to talk about)

My achievement is pretty much the same story, but I was already 31 at the time. And replace "college student/client" with "exotic dancer."

[Titan]

Got 100% on GTA V. At the age of 45. I am so proud.

[terminator]

1) Realizing the Canucks are'nt a real hockey team

2) Realizing the Oilers suck

3) Losing all my eyelashes because they froze to my glasses while walking from lot 10 the Mac Hall in the -40

[FireFly]

Originally Posted by wittynickname

So I'm turning 31 today. In February I hooked up with a 21 year old college student. (Who just so happens to be a long-time client of mine, who I've had a pathetic crush on for longer than is okay to talk about)

I had a similar accomplishment at 29 with a 19 year old. He was in high school with my niece. (Though had graduated by the time we hooked up.) He was a track star and it was AMAZING sex.

It sounds like he probably had a crush on you for quite some time too.

My accomplishment is not getting pregnant or married until I found the one. Then getting married, pregnant and a promotion all in the same year. Eff yeah bud! Only took me until I was 33 to become a grownup!

[Kerplunk]

A couple of science class related ones...way back from junior high (god it's been a while).

For one project we needed to make a small house, out of any material, that would be warmed up using a lamp. The winner would be the one that lost the least amount of heat. We made one out of Legos, built into a dirt wall, and lined with water pipes, and was the best in the class; the temperature kept going up. Didn't win a damn thing though.

Same science class, we made a contraption that was supposed to pump water after the circuit was connected. What connected the circuit? Beer and pop cans, connected to the rooms 120V outlet. Plugged the sucker in and sparks flew, accompanied by a loud bang. I guess the accomplishment was that we didn't burn the school down and no one was electrocuted.