Child Care Dilemma

[FireFly]

You need to make friends with the parents of other children in the same daycare. Then when an illness goes through the daycare, you can take turns taking time off.

[Wormius]

For the OP, have either of you considered bringing your child to work? I am not sure what your respective office environments are like, but in some cases if you can make sure your child will stay absolutely quiet and you can get them occupied somehow that often can work. We have done that on numerous occasions with no problem. Otherwise working from home is something one of you could request. The last option would be to borrow a vacation day from next year (if you can).

I guess it ultimately depends on how flexible your guys companies will be. Otherwise, in the future try to get to know some more people you can trust with your child, preferably where one is a stay-at-home parent.

[conroy22]

Do you have any babysitters that could look after your child? Where in Calgary do you live? I absolutely love babysitting/nannying, but I'm back in Lethbridge at school. However, my sister is in Calgary and doesn't work much during the day and loves kids as well. If your interested in possibly having someone watch him during the day at your own house and not have to find a daycare to take him to, PM me, because if my sister is not working I'm sure she would love to help you out!

[octothorp]

Tough one, all I can do is echo the advice regarding hand foot & mouth disease: don't take it lightly. I certainly wouldn't look at taking my kid to a different daycare or bringing them to work. And be sure you're being careful around them; it can be much more uncomfortable in adults than in children. When I got it a couple years ago, my hands swelled up to the point of being unusable and felt like they were on fire for about a week.

[Northendzone]

my wife and i both work and our kids grew up at daycare, and unfortunately, daycares are a breeding ground for stuff; and it seems like the kids had lots of colds in those early years.

usually most daycare do not want to see your kid if they are puking or have dirrhea of a high fever. Perhaps we were lucky, but there has only been a few times our kids have been that sick.

Anywyas, for one of you to go to work in the AM for .75 and the other to go in the afternnon for .75? then at least both of you are mostly working.

[Buff]

I read through this and I can't believe how employers treat some of their employees in regards to sick time. I am extremely lucky to work at such a forgiving place. Sick? Take a day. Kid is sick? Take a day. Doctor's/Dentist/Optometrist or other medical appointment? Take how many hours needed. Same thing for your kids. Couldn't sleep last night due to kids/stress? Take a day or half day if that's all you need. In general, people don't abuse the system if you give them the freedom and privileges. If somebody does try to abuse it, well that is an issue with their manager, the CEO and that person.

My wife used to have the same flexibility but somebody abused the system so everybody lost the flexibility. My wife is no longer allowed to take a sick day for kids. Fortunately our babysitters are our parents so they don't mind looking after a sick kid but times do happen where my wife prefers to be the one staying home with the sick kid, and she can't or has to lie to get the day. So I'm the one who has to take the kids to appointments.

Life happens and employers need to recognize that. I once worked at a place that didn't care about the employees too much. A person called in sick and got fired for skipping work because somebody saw them walking at a strip mall. All they saw was the person in question walking and reported her. As it turns out the person was going from the doctors office to the pharmacy. They reversed that decision but then fired her because she refused to show up and work for a company that acted like that.

[photon]

Originally Posted by Buff

I read through this and I can't believe how employers treat some of their employees in regards to sick time.

So much this. I'm not even convinced that it's an abuse issue, I think it's a micromanagement issue. If my boss wants to know where I am, what I'm doing, at all times during the day, then that tells me either they don't trust me to get my job done when it's supposed to be done, or (worse) they have so little idea of what actually is going on or what my job is that the only way they feel they can manage is to manage my time.

Most places I've worked at haven't cared much at all about hours, but about results.

[Raekwon]

Originally Posted by photon

So much this. I'm not even convinced that it's an abuse issue, I think it's a micromanagement issue. If my boss wants to know where I am, what I'm doing, at all times during the day, then that tells me either they don't trust me to get my job done when it's supposed to be done, or (worse) they have so little idea of what actually is going on or what my job is that the only way they feel they can manage is to manage my time.

Most places I've worked at haven't cared much at all about hours, but about results.

The crazy part is that i'm always reachable and have remote access to anything so i'm not unavailable. I know they love to remind me of that when i'm on holidays etc. I don't think I have taken a day off sick or vacation without fielding work calls

[photon]

Exactly! The more a company wants to micromanage the more I'm going to "work to rule". 5:01pm? Sorry, can't look at that, have to leave.

[undercoverbrother]

Originally Posted by Raekwon

The crazy part is that i'm always reachable and have remote access to anything so i'm not unavailable. I know they love to remind me of that when i'm on holidays etc. I don't think I have taken a day off sick or vacation without fielding work calls

You need to change employers.

[Locke]

Originally Posted by photon

So much this. I'm not even convinced that it's an abuse issue, I think it's a micromanagement issue. If my boss wants to know where I am, what I'm doing, at all times during the day, then that tells me either they don't trust me to get my job done when it's supposed to be done, or (worse) they have so little idea of what actually is going on or what my job is that the only way they feel they can manage is to manage my time.

Most places I've worked at haven't cared much at all about hours, but about results.

This used to drive me crazy.

[albertGQ]

To be honest, 13 and 17 sick days already this year and still 3.5 months left in the year does sound excessive.

Sucks to be in your position but not surprised they're cracking down after seeing those numbers.

Looks like you'll have to take some unpaid sick days and be proactive next year and save some vacation days "just in case".

[driveway]

I don't know if it's possible for you, but when my brother, sister and I were all growing up my parents were able to hire young women to work as live-in-nannies at our house.

It was a hugely positive experience for all of us and I recommend it to everyone. The women were almost all cool, mostly Swiss or English and a couple of them worked for us for several years - there's a pretty big spread in age between myself and my sister so there were a lot of years where child care was needed in our house.

We were fortunate to be able to have a house where we could provide accommodation for these girls - and the ability to afford it - but it meant that both my mother and father could work full time.

It also meant that mom and dad got to come home each night to a clean house where the chores and errands had been done, and us kids played with so they didn't have any of that stress. They could just come home and hang out with us, actually play with us instead of coming home and having to deal with the house and stuff like that.

Not to mention the fact that my siblings and I got to spend our days hanging out with cool young women from interesting countries. Our family is still in touch with two of the women who were our longest-term nannies, which is really cool.

I know it doesn't help your immediate situation, but if it's something that's ever crossed your mind as a possibility, from someone who went through it as a kid, it's awesome and I would recommend it to anyone who is in a position to do it.

[Locke]

Originally Posted by driveway

I don't know if it's possible for you, but when my brother, sister and I were all growing up my parents were able to hire young women to work as live-in-nannies at our house.

It was a hugely positive experience for all of us and I recommend it to everyone. The women were almost all cool, mostly Swiss or English and a couple of them worked for us for several years - there's a pretty big spread in age between myself and my sister so there were a lot of years where child care was needed in our house.

We were fortunate to be able to have a house where we could provide accommodation for these girls - and the ability to afford it - but it meant that both my mother and father could work full time.

It also meant that mom and dad got to come home each night to a clean house where the chores and errands had been done, and us kids played with so they didn't have any of that stress. They could just come home and hang out with us, actually play with us instead of coming home and having to deal with the house and stuff like that.

Not to mention the fact that my siblings and I got to spend our days hanging out with cool young women from interesting countries. Our family is still in touch with two of the women who were our longest-term nannies, which is really cool.

I know it doesn't help your immediate situation, but if it's something that's ever crossed your mind as a possibility, from someone who went through it as a kid, it's awesome and I would recommend it to anyone who is in a position to do it.

I believe you're referring to an 'au pair.' They used to be a great alternative but lately due to changes in tax and immigration laws they are a lot harder to come by.

[Derek Sutton]

Its not an issue of micro management. Just using your wife for example, by September she'd have accumulated 4 sick days yet has already used 13. That is a lot id time off. How do co workers see that? I know what I'd he thinking. Do others have to pick up the slack when she, or anyone else is absent?

Yes it would be nice to get any and all the sick days you want but you should know by now thats not how the world works. It is time to find alternative child care or one of you needs to change jobs or schedules.

[Slava]

Originally Posted by Derek Sutton

Its not an issue of micro management. Just using your wife for example, by September she'd have accumulated 4 sick days yet has already used 13. That is a lot id time off. How do co workers see that? I know what I'd he thinking. Do others have to pick up the slack when she, or anyone else is absent?

Yes it would be nice to get any and all the sick days you want but you should know by now thats not how the world works. It is time to find alternative child care or one of you needs to change jobs or schedules.

I think that your first paragraph illustrates how this becomes an issue. People with no kids or older kids or an at home caregiver like a grandparent or stay home mom (and I'm not saying you're in that situation), haven't got these problems. Many look and just can't grasp how frustrating this is for the parent of the sick kid, just because of that.

At our daycare there was one caregiver who would continually take my daughters temperature when she was a little warm until she got a reading to be able to phone and send her home. Then she had to stay home for 48 hours. They also had rules about prescription meds...and again 48 hours. It was incredibly frustrating! I was able to take time basically as needed, but it resulted in a lot of canceled meetings. Then I would almost always catch whatever the kids had.

I can totally see an employer not being thrilled about people needing 20 days a year. But I can also see how that can easily be the case. Before kids I never took sick days and probably considered people in these positions as lazy or not very loyal, but thats obviously because I couldn't relate.

[Raekwon]

Originally Posted by Derek Sutton

Its not an issue of micro management. Just using your wife for example, by September she'd have accumulated 4 sick days yet has already used 13. That is a lot id time off. How do co workers see that? I know what I'd he thinking. Do others have to pick up the slack when she, or anyone else is absent?

Yes it would be nice to get any and all the sick days you want but you should know by now thats not how the world works. It is time to find alternative child care or one of you needs to change jobs or schedules.

I think your math is a bit off, it's one per month so she accumulated 9 and has used 13. This is high and as I said earlier this year has been an exception. Being here for 8 years we have accumulated quite a bit of time so it's not a matter of going into the negative for sick days.

The whole point of this thread was looking for ideas for alternative care in the case that we need it for the last 3 months of this year to avoid the stress of taking time off, we don't want to take time off its very stressful.

This year has been horrible for us since it was his first year in daycare, besides my knee injury I think I have caught everything possible this year. Colds, flu, Streep, stomach virus that I unknowingly had during my surgery which caused all kinds of issues due to the antibiotics they give you before surgery. I've used most of my holiday time for sick time this year.

[ernie]

Hot nanny. Definitely go the hot nanny route.

Or as everyone else seems to do...

step 1) drug the kid up on ibruprofen and tylenol 30 minutes before dropping them off. They will then be perky for the drop off 'cause they are kids who refuse to realize they are sick and should take it easy.

step 2) get out quick and make sure you screen your cell phone calls during the day.

Seriously it's a tough one. I'm lucky enough that I can use a remote desktop and still do the same work at home with a sick child beside me as I can at work. As I had to do on Monday.

[Sliver]

Originally Posted by driveway

I don't know if it's possible for you, but when my brother, sister and I were all growing up my parents were able to hire young women to work as live-in-nannies at our house.

It was a hugely positive experience for all of us and I recommend it to everyone. The women were almost all cool, mostly Swiss or English and a couple of them worked for us for several years - there's a pretty big spread in age between myself and my sister so there were a lot of years where child care was needed in our house.

We were fortunate to be able to have a house where we could provide accommodation for these girls - and the ability to afford it - but it meant that both my mother and father could work full time.

It also meant that mom and dad got to come home each night to a clean house where the chores and errands had been done, and us kids played with so they didn't have any of that stress. They could just come home and hang out with us, actually play with us instead of coming home and having to deal with the house and stuff like that.

Not to mention the fact that my siblings and I got to spend our days hanging out with cool young women from interesting countries. Our family is still in touch with two of the women who were our longest-term nannies, which is really cool.

I know it doesn't help your immediate situation, but if it's something that's ever crossed your mind as a possibility, from someone who went through it as a kid, it's awesome and I would recommend it to anyone who is in a position to do it.

Man, advice from rich kids can be funny. Money does erase problems like the OP's, but is only applicable to 1% of the population and that 1% already knows that you could just throw a bit of money at this and it would go away. Your proposal is so incredibly unrealistic for 99% of the population, but I understand your frame of reference likely precludes you from knowing that.

It's like when my rich buddy tells me that 'time off is never a waste of time' or advises me to take the family to Hawaii for a few weeks to 'just get away.' Or gives me tips on how I should just buy a whole bunch of houses, pay people to renovate them, then flip them and profit because it's free money. No kidding that would be great, but it's goofy advice when I don't have a dad paying for all that stuff for me (or bankrolling me in other ways to give me the illusion I'm doing it myself).

[Ashartus]

Originally Posted by ernie

Or as everyone else seems to do...

step 1) drug the kid up on ibruprofen and tylenol 30 minutes before dropping them off. They will then be perky for the drop off 'cause they are kids who refuse to realize they are sick and should take it easy.

step 2) get out quick and make sure you screen your cell phone calls during the day.

I have to admit I've done this too but only for those borderline cases where a kid has a mild fever from an ear infection or something but no other symptoms. I don't think the daycare ever called or thought the kid was sick when I did this. I wouldn't do it with other symptoms or something contagious.