Funny Spam In Your Inbox

[3 Justin 3]

In the past couple of years I've won a total of probably 130 million UK pounds as well as 10's of millions of USD.

How I wish it wasn't spam.

[Hockey_Ninja]

F***book.com invites from "horny girls" in my area.

[OffsideSpecialist]

Originally Posted by jayocal

I get these once in a while:

ha! Just got that same mail today.

[troutman]

Hi! How are u?

I am 22 years old. My birthday is 2nd of October.
I found you on this dating website and u have catch my attention.
I would like to learn you better and have a correspondence with u.
I do not have a man in my life, but i would like to have. I want to amour and to be loved, i want to find a serious man who needs my love and kindness. I have a big plans on life and i hope that we will have a good communication with you. I am waiting for your answer to me and i hope that my message and me will interest u and u will write to me very soon!

Please write to me on my mail
I will wait.

Have a Good day!

[normtwofinger]

Sounds like troutman has a date!

[Rathji]

Sounds like troutman has signed up for 10 too many porn websites.

I thought this one was funny, considering I'm a married woman:

Hi sweety, my name is Madelyn and I'm 23 y.o.

I've found a new feature in my profile which allows me to add people with whom I wanna date without any obligations.
I think you understand what I mean...
You're so cute and I think we can perfectly spend some time together...


You can find my profile here: http://zantsy.com


All Yours,
Scarlett


(So are you Scarlett or Madelyn?)

Oh! Hold on! There's another:

Hi sweety, my name is Morgan and I'm 23 y.o.

I've found a new feature in my profile which allows me to add people with whom I wanna date without any obligations.
I think you understand what I mean...
You're so cute and I think we can perfectly spend some time together...


You can find my profile here: http://yikut.com


All Yours,
Alexandra

Edit: having the 2 words "whom" and "wanna" in the same sentence made me giggle.

[troutman]

Originally Posted by Rathji

Sounds like troutman has signed up for 10 too many porn websites.

What kind of porn site do you have to sign up for?

[undercoverbrother]

Keep getting these type of emails, feel free to collect my prize:

UNDP Foundation Grant.

UNDP Grant Donation FORWARD THIS MAIL TO (bankimoon543@yahoo.co.uk) FOR PROOF OF CLAIM


You have been awarded a Grant Sum of US$1,000,000.00 (One Million United States Dollars) from the United Nations Development programme (UNDP) with Qualification numbers (UNF/FBF-826-1619 G-924-94).

You are to Forward this email to the UN Secretary General for claims procedure.
Mr. Ban Ki-moon
E-mail: bankimoon543@yahoo.co.uk
Tel: +447011136144

You might receive this message in your spam or junk folder depends on your web host.

On behalf of the Board,
Yours faithfully,
Windebank Ronald
United Nations Foundation UK.





























































************************************************** *******
FREEDOM OF INFORMATION: For all requests for information which may come under the Freedom of Information Act please contact the Freedom of Information Act officer at FreedomOfInformation@writtle.ac.uk.
************************************************** *******
This email and any files transmitted with it are confidential and intended solely for the use of the individual or entity to whom they are addressed. If you have received this email in error please notify the sender.

Please also note that unless stated explicitly, this information is not necessarily the view or policy of Writtle College, and it does not form any kind of contract.

This footnote also confirms that this email message has been swept for the presence of computer viruses by Clearswift Secure Email Gateway (www.clearswift.com).
*************************

[jammies]

If the USA would pay up their UN commitments, the UN wouldn't have to use Yahoo! for their email host.

[troutman]

I think it is the bad grammar and strange phrasing that I find so amusing:

Boobska sent you a private message:
I like occasional meetings, quick bang in the car and bus sex
I'm not very squeamish about males so just message me and lets have some delight!

[Rathji]

Originally Posted by troutman

What kind of porn site do you have to sign up for?

Whipersnappers these days... back when I was a kid you needed to have a credit card to get good porn online.

[Reaper]

Originally Posted by troutman

I think it is the bad grammar and strange phrasing that I find so amusing:

Boobska sent you a private message:
I like occasional meetings, quick bang in the car and bus sex
I'm not very squeamish about males so just message me and lets have some delight!

Bus sex = Bussexual?

[troutman]

Dear Trusted Friend,

Let this message not surprise you, I am contacting you due to the problem in my family.
This is as a result of the death of my father and my brother Saif al-Arab who were killed in the recent the civil unrest in our country. I am Hannibal Muammar Gaddafi Son of Muammar Muhammad Abu Minyar al-Gaddaf, the late embattled president of Libya.
I am currently in exile. Our assets in several countries have been frozen.

Insha Allahu, I will make you a part of my family heritage, if you can help me out at this difficult time of my life. I have huge sums of money in a security company in Italy.
All you will be required to do is to help move this funds to your country or any safe location in your name. I don't want anybody to know about this. There is an international conspiracy to seize our family accounts and investments around the world.

If you are interested in assisting me in this regard, kindly get back to me as soon as possible for more details on how to proceed. Needless to say that I will compensate you handsomely once the fund is move out of the security company to safety

Please get back to me for more detail and make sure you keep this issue strictly confidential for my own safety. Your urgent reply means a lot to me.

Yours sincerely

Hannibal Muammar Gaddafi.

[afc wimbledon]

I used to get these random messages I assumed were spam from some girl, after about 3 from the same name though I opened one up, turned out to be some random bint from my elementary school who had moved to New Zealand, I had no memory of her what so ever so why the hell she was interested in emailing me was a mystery, I politely declined her request to chat, she said I was the only kid that was nice to her in school, which was 40 odd years ago.

[drhu22]

Shes probably just a lonely old girl...
might even be good looking and intelligent!

[undercoverbrother]

Again, seems legit

My Dearest,

How are you and your family?
I am Josephine Barnor from Ghana. I am married to Late Vincent Barnor of blessed memory who is an oil explorer in Libya and Kuwait for twelve years; before he died in the year 2001. We were married for twelve years without a child. My husband died after a brief illness that lasted for only four nights. Since his death I too have been battling with both Cancer and fibroid problems. When my late Husband was alive he deposited a substantial amount of money in millions of dollars with a Finance Firm oversea.

Recently, my doctor told me that I have only six months to live in this world due to cancer problem. Though what disturbs me most is my stroke sickness. Having known my condition I decided to donate this fund to either a charity/orphanage home or devoted God fearing individual/company that will utilize this money the way I am going to instruct herein. I want this organization or individual to use this money in all sincerity to fund charity homes (motherless homes), orphanages, and widows.

Although, I took this decision because I don't have any child that will inherit this money and my husband relatives are into radical organization and I don't want a situation where this money will be used in an unholy manner. Hence the reasons for this bold decision. Please, pray for me to recover as your prayers will go a long way in uplifting my spirit. I don't need any telephone communication in this regard, because of the presence of my husband's relatives around me always and my doctor has advised me not to speak on phone because of my health.

I don't want them to know about this development. As soon as I receive your reply I shall give you further directives on what to do and how to go about actualizing this project. I will also issue a letter of authorization to the Finance Company authorizing them that the said fund has being willed to you and a copy of such authorization will be forwarded to you. I want you to always pray for me. However, any delay in your reply will give room in sourcing for an organization or a devoted Individual for this same purpose. Until I hear from you by email; my dreams will rest squarely on your shoulders.

Remain Blessed.

Josephine Barnor

[troutman]

http://www.facebook.com/barnorv

[OffsideSpecialist]

It must be awful to have cancer problem and stroke sickness at the same time.