Getting over anxiety

[Sr. Mints]

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[Dion]

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[GreatWhiteEbola]

Originally Posted by MelBridgeman

your doing it wrong!

Enlighten me.

[jamoro]

Originally Posted by GreatWhiteEbola

Enlighten me.

Please guys I want this to be a safe place for people to share their story's, don't be goofs

[meanmachine13]

I have really bad social anxiety.

Sometimes talking to new people is so overwhelming that my eyes start to water, face goes really red, etc. I cant control it and then that just causes even more anxiety. Then people start to comment on it and it just goes downhill!

I am finding that it is holding me back in job interview the most right now. I am over qualified and would be awesome at most jobs I apply for, but due to my anxiety I can barely talk in interviews.

[jamoro]

Originally Posted by meanmachine13

I have really bad social anxiety.

Sometimes talking to new people is so overwhelming that my eyes start to water, face goes really red, etc. I cant control it and then that just causes even more anxiety. Then people start to comment on it and it just goes downhill!

I am finding that it is holding me back in job interview the most right now. I am over qualified and would be awesome at most jobs I apply for, but due to my anxiety I can barely talk in interviews.

Yeah my case was like yours but maybe not as extreme. The best advise i can give you is just try to get out and meet new people. take in situations you may normally avoid. do it a little at a time and it may get better, I know the call center helped me tremendously

[meanmachine13]

Throughout university, I would meet people online and go out to meet them in person after talking to them for a while. It worked in the sense that it allowed me to hang out with them without having bad anxiety, but in the long run it doesnt work.

All my conversations revolved around what we talked about online. When I try to make spontaneous conversations, as normal people would do, I would feel the anxiety coming forth. I am not used to starting or maintaining conversations in person, so its overwhelming to even try! Thats why when I am hanging out with new people or groups, I am the quiet one, which makes people think I am not having fun and dont often ask me to come out with them anymore.

For some reason, the only place I can find myself to be loud, is at hockey. I can talk to anyone at hockey (new player on the team, other teams players, refs, etc). I guess its just my comfort zone.

[jamoro]

Originally Posted by meanmachine13

Throughout university, I would meet people online and go out to meet them in person after talking to them for a while. It worked in the sense that it allowed me to hang out with them without having bad anxiety, but in the long run it doesnt work.

All my conversations revolved around what we talked about online. When I try to make spontaneous conversations, as normal people would do, I would feel the anxiety coming forth. I am not used to starting or maintaining conversations in person, so its overwhelming to even try! Thats why when I am hanging out with new people or groups, I am the quiet one, which makes people think I am not having fun and dont often ask me to come out with them anymore.

For some reason, the only place I can find myself to be loud, is at hockey. I can talk to anyone at hockey (new player on the team, other teams players, refs, etc). I guess its just my comfort zone.

Maybe your thinking about it too much. After i got over my anxiety, i realized that not talking is ok. I mean if you have nothing to say what can you do? it will always feel and seem forced if it is! you just have to try and gain self confidence and be comfortable with yourself.

I know I maybe making it seem easy and I know its not, I use to have bad anxiety as well. But once you gain self confidence everything just becomes so much easier!

[meanmachine13]

All my issues are internal. (self confidence, etc). I wish I could just wake up confident but I havnt yet!

[Ozy_Flame]

I usually get it if I find myself in the company of dominant alpha-male types. Not sure why, I guess I feel like I just have to be on my toes most of the time. Maybe it's a testosterone thing. My new boss, for example, strikes anxiety in me, although I'm sure he doesn't feel like he does at all.

[jamoro]

Originally Posted by Ozy_Flame

I usually get it if I find myself in the company of dominant alpha-male types. Not sure why, I guess I feel like I just have to be on my toes most of the time. Maybe it's a testosterone thing. My new boss, for example, strikes anxiety in me, although I'm sure he doesn't feel like he does at all.

Yes I use to be like that as well. Anyone who was a confident type would intimidate me and would give me anxiety

[Skyceman]

Originally Posted by meanmachine13

All my issues are internal. (self confidence, etc). I wish I could just wake up confident but I havnt yet!

Remember that all the confidence you will ever need is already inside of you right now - it's not "out there". You need to change you're self-talk and let it shine through.

Also, if you're more comfortable with people while you play hockey, then it's simply what you're telling yourself when you do that activity. There is no "safe place" or "safe person" - it's simply what you tell yourself when you're in those situations.

Hope that helps - I also suffered from anxiety issues for years in my 20's. Congratulations Jamoro for overcoming a huge challenge.

[Azure]

People are people. Sure, there are all ######bags in any crowd, but for the most part if you're a normal guy who isn't acting like a complete jackass, you don't have any reason to be 'scared' of others.

Personally for me I think the biggest thing was just forcing yourself to interact with others. Socializing isn't a 'natural' talent IMO. Its something that you learn with time. Being able to do the whole 'small talk' is easy for people because they've done it so many times in so many different situations. As you get used to crowds, and as you get used to being around more people, it gets easier and easier.

The overwhelming majority of people that I know who can't deal with other people are like that because they never get out. With time it just gets worse and worse, and pretty soon you're downright scared of other people.

Forcing yourself to work at a call centre was a great idea because you actually HAD to interact with other people. And like anything, practice makes perfect.

[SHOGUN]

Originally Posted by Azure

People are people. Sure, there are all ######bags in any crowd, but for the most part if you're a normal guy who isn't acting like a complete jackass, you don't have any reason to be 'scared' of others.

Personally for me I think the biggest thing was just forcing yourself to interact with others. Socializing isn't a 'natural' talent IMO. Its something that you learn with time. Being able to do the whole 'small talk' is easy for people because they've done it so many times in so many different situations. As you get used to crowds, and as you get used to being around more people, it gets easier and easier.

The overwhelming majority of people that I know who can't deal with other people are like that because they never get out. With time it just gets worse and worse, and pretty soon you're downright scared of other people.

Forcing yourself to work at a call centre was a great idea because you actually HAD to interact with other people. And like anything, practice makes perfect.

Can't put it into better words.

[jamoro]

Thanks guys
Yeah it was not easy, but I'm glad I did it. I almost pissed myself on my first call lol but the more calls I did the more confident I got at talking with people, and now I got a job in sales I had no idea that it was going to help me. It was just a job, almost like it was fate that I chose THAT job

[jamoro]

Originally Posted by Iginla

I've had mild anxiety attacks. It only lasts like 5 minutes and I get them rarely. I don't even know what triggers it, and I've never been to a doctor about it.

Sorry I didn't replay sooner, I must of missed your post at first. I do want to replay to everyone's story.

But I would suggest you talk to a doctor if you find it effects your life negativity. You don't have to take drugs, but at least get some advise on how to deal with it. Hope things work out!