How much do YOU give as a wedding gift?

[Mr.Coffee]

Albert, I just think that the point you are trying to make is "dont be cheap", which most people would agree with. But to toss out the dollar value really sewered your point. $50 isn't a completely insignificant value... like if you said $5 or $10 I think your point would have been made but $50 to some people isn't bad.

[albertGQ]

Originally Posted by burn_this_city

Geez you'd think the $50 couple tossed you a couple bucks and told you not to spend it all at once.

I never said anything like that.
I just woudn't want to be the one cheaping out when the couple spent tens of thousands of dollars on their wedding. The least you can do is cover the cost of your plate. They're covering the cost of everythign else including unlimited booze

[albertGQ]

Originally Posted by Mr.Coffee

Albert, I just think that the point you are trying to make is "dont be cheap", which most people would agree with. But to toss out the dollar value really sewered your point. $50 isn't a completely insignificant value... like if you said $5 or $10 I think your point would have been made but $50 to some people isn't bad.

I just think its common courtesy to at least cover your dinner.

[Fobby]

I think a lot of this is based on what ethnic group you belong to.

For a lot of Chinese people, you always give a red pocket which covers the meal + a little more for good luck. Of course this rule doesn't apply to all.

[Ironhorse]

I prefer to give an actual wedding gift as opposed to just a cheque.

[albertGQ]

Originally Posted by Ironhorse

I prefer to give an actual wedding gift as opposed to just a cheque.

Nowadays, where couples tend to live together before they get married, cash (cheques) are more preferred.

They most likely have all the kitchen appliances they need already

[Table 5]

Originally Posted by Russic

I never once really thought of the gifts as helping me break even.

I kind of went into it thinking this way myself, but after having to write a few ridiculously stupid checks to cover things, I definitely got a little more calculating about it.

I can see where Albert is coming from. Weddings are a total racket these days, and unless you do some tiny family-only event (which in my case was impossible to do anyway considering my wife has about 80-90 family members alone), it's really hard to keep it affordable. We're not talking about a weekend bbq here.... most decent sized wedding these days are at least 15-20k....if you can claw back any of that, you're pretty grateful. So yeah, if someone gives you $25 bucks, the part of you that's already dying inside thinking of all the other things you couldve done with the wedding money will resent them a bit.

Oh, and it's one thing to want a small wedding.....it's a totally different thing to keep it small when the mothers get involved with their dema- err, i mean suggestions.

[GreatWhiteEbola]

Originally Posted by albertGQ

I just think its common courtesy to at least cover your dinner.

What do you expect from those you invite to your house for dinner, $25,$30? Whatever the average cost of a meal out? Do you show them the grocery receipt and time to prepare the meal? My point is you invited them, they shouldn't be obligated to pay. When I invite a guest to dinner, lunch, drinks, be it in my home or any other establishment. I pay regardless.

To the OP, $200 is what I have been giving, as part of the wedding party. I haven't been to a wedding where I wasn't in the wedding party.

I should start invoicing my time as a wedding party consultant.

[troutman]

Pre-nups start at $500.00.

[Mr.Coffee]

Weddings are a pain in the ass, this is true. The marketing machine that are weddings are yet another depressing example of our society's erosion into obsessive consumerism.

If you are in Calgary, and you want to have a good wedding, I strongly recommend going outside the city to have it, go to a town, rent the community centre for $500, the people that show up have to stay / get wasted = awesome party. Invite lots of young people. The booze, food, pretty much everything is cheaper outside of Calgary and you can probably afford the size you want much easier than you would in Calgary.

^pretty much what we did, but then again she was from the town soooo.... made it easy.

Also, photographers can kiss my ass.

[Regular_John]

Originally Posted by Mr.Coffee

Weddings are a pain in the ass, this is true. The marketing machine that are weddings are yet another depressing example of our society's erosion into obsessive consumerism.

If you are in Calgary, and you want to have a good wedding, I strongly recommend going outside the city to have it, go to a town, rent the community centre for $500, the people that show up have to stay / get wasted = awesome party. Invite lots of young people. The booze, food, pretty much everything is cheaper outside of Calgary and you can probably afford the size you want much easier than you would in Calgary.

^pretty much what we did, but then again she was from the town soooo.... made it easy.

Also, photographers can kiss my ass.

This. We did our wedding out in Okotoks and saved a grand on the venue alone. Didn't get nickel & dimed for things like chair set up/tear down either. One place we spoke to wanted something like $3/chair to setup, and an additional $.50/chair to tear down or something stupid like that. We were looking at almost $400 just for chairs on top of the cost of the venue.

[albertGQ]

Originally Posted by GreatWhiteEbola

What do you expect from those you invite to your house for dinner, $25,$30? Whatever the average cost of a meal out? Do you show them the grocery receipt and time to prepare the meal? My point is you invited them, they shouldn't be obligated to pay. When I invite a guest to dinner, lunch, drinks, be it in my home or any other establishment. I pay regardless.

To the OP, $200 is what I have been giving, as part of the wedding party. I haven't been to a wedding where I wasn't in the wedding party.

I should start invoicing my time as a wedding party consultant.

You're not expected to bring a gift to a dinner party (although a bottle of wine would be nice). But at a wedding you are expected to bring a gift.

[MrMastodonFarm]

This is why I don't accept wedding invitations.

[SeeBass]

When there are people who have to take extra time off work, travel such as flights or a long drive and hotel I am just grateful they cared enough to show up.

The least I can do is feed them and appreciate they cared enough to share a special day with me.

[SeeBass]

Originally Posted by MrMastodonFarm

This is why I don't accept wedding invitations.

Just like the guy who is 25 and chooses to be a virgin

[Clarkey]

I'm starting to get annoyed when people invite me to their weddings now. I have to give up prime weekends in the summer, am forced to sit through a ceremony and cliche gag inducing reception speeches and then at the end I have to fork over $150 to add insult to injury.

[Eastern Girl]

I think consensus is you pay to cover your plate. I say pay what you feel you can afford.

If they don't like it, TS! They are the ones that decided to throw themselves a lavish affair that they couldn't afford. I mean, honestly, it's considered tacky to give less than say $100, but inviting a ton of people to your wedding you barely like and shaking them down at the entrance and then complaining they didn't give enough to cover the costs of the affair you claim is all about showcasing your love and not showboating, isn't tacky? Bully to that.

[GreatWhiteEbola]

Originally Posted by albertGQ

You're not expected to bring a gift to a dinner party (although a bottle of wine would be nice). But at a wedding you are expected to bring a gift.

I would not expect my invited guests to pay for the wedding through their gift. I certainly wouldn't complain about them with an "Occupy Calgary" sense of entitlement.

I would like to know if this suspected cheap guest had to travel to attend, or if this guest was suffering from some sort of financial strife. Do you ask for each guests net worth before they were entitled to have the privilege of paying for a meal that you would be determining?

My mother often makes gifts (she is an artist) for the newly wed couple, does she have to attach a monetary value to her creativity to be adequately justified in attending?

You may not have the values that I have perceived, however, you came across as very ungrateful for the meager penance of which you were given.

[MrMastodonFarm]

Originally Posted by SeeBass

Just like the guy who is 25 and chooses to be a virgin

That makes no sense, should one be bragging about how many wedding invitations they receive?

[SeeBass]

Originally Posted by MrMastodonFarm

That makes no sense, should one be bragging about how many wedding invitations they receive?

it's like saying I choose not to go to weddings even though you never get invited just like a 25 year old says he cooses to be a virgin even though he never gets a chance

I guess it made more sense in my head