Location: A simple man leading a complicated life....
Exp:
My late father and I didn't have a very good relationship. This song always reminds me of what I should have done
Every generation, blames the one before
And all of their frustrations, come beating on your door
I know that I?m a prisoner. To all my father held so dear
I know that I?m a hostage to all his hopes and fears
I just wish I could have told him in the living years
No crumpled bits of paper
Filled with imperfect thoughts
Stilted conversations, I?m afraid that?s all we?ve got
You say you just don?t see it, he says its perfect sense
You just can?t get agreement, in this present tense
We all talk a different language, talking in defence
Say it loud (say it loud)
Say it clear (oh say it clear)
You can listen as well as you hear (as well as you hear)
It?s too late (its too late)
When we die (ooh when we die)
To admit we don?t see eye to eye (we don?t see eye to eye)
So we open up a quarrel
Between the present and the past
We only sacrifice the future
And it?s the bitterness that lasts
So don?t yield to the fortunes
Sometimes see is fate
It may have a new perspective on a different date
And if you don?t give up and don?t give in you may just be ok
(So say it say it say it loud)
Say it loud
Say it clear (oh oo say it clear)
You can listen as well as you hear (as well as you hear )
(Because it?s too late its too late)
It?s too late when we die (oh when we die)
To admit we don?t see eye to eye (we don?t see eye to eye)
I wasn?t there that morning
When my father passed away
I didn?t get to tell him all the things I had to say
I think I caught his spirit later that same year
I?m sure I heard his echo in my baby?s newborn tears
I just, wish I could have told him in the living years
(So say it say it say it loud)
Say it loud
Say it clear (come on say it clear)
You can listen as well as you hear (as well as you hear yeah)
(Because it?s too late)
It?s too late when we die (its too late when we die)
To admit we don?t see eye to eye (we don?t see eye to eye
(Hey So say it say it say it loud)
Say it loud
Say it clear (oh oo say it clear)
You can listen as well as you hear (as well as you hear)
(Because it?s too late)
It?s too late when we die (oh when we die)
To admit we don?t see eye to eye (we don?t see eye to eye
I was going to post something similar in the Salary Poll thread but then this one popped up. It sounds trite and almost maudlin but if you have a wife, girlfriend, fiancé, or significant other that you adore and they adore you then you have a gift no amount of money can buy.
You know. Nothing makes a person MORE depressed than a happy person telling them "Buck up - I had bad things happen to me and now I'm a happy person!".
It makes you feel really guilty and adds to your low self esteem that you are having trouble coping with your emotional issues.
I don't see it that way, and I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have back then. However, I'm aware that others may react differently. In these things I believe in talking from the gut.
However, I think you're right that it does sound a bit like I'm beating my own drum, so let me get specific.
I certainly didn't pull through with hard work and perseverance or because of my radiantly magnificent excellence .
I whined and moan in therapy over my "trivial" issues and hated how I couldn't deal with stuff that every normal person on this planet had gone through. I cried about how much I suck to my friends (putting a lot of strain on some friendships but also strengthening them) and generally felt my life waste away for years. I lived on jobs my friends looked down upon. I effed up potential relationships for stupid reasons.
Eventually therapy, talking about my issues and finding the right medication started to kick in, and my daily emotional life was less like hell. My circle of friends settled down somewhat to people that I can truly depend on in times of trouble and who don't judge people on their level of education or general lifestyle. I discovered that I'm in love with that chick who occasionally called me at four AM for sex, who didn't look one bit like my dream girl. Better yet, she was weird enough to like me. We got married and the wedding was such a great party people still remember it fondly. We did things our way, F tradition, and we pretty much still do. There's a lot I don't really get, but somehow stuff just works out.
I noticed that I actually really liked driving a cab, which was originally just something I did because it was a job I could land and keep and I fully expected to hate it. I started to notice a pattern that the things in my life that made me happy were not the things I had wanted. I started to realize that I'm kind of dumb. That helped a lot. I still go mental when I can't get important stuff done, but I've noticed that every s*** that has happened has eventually passed. I guess I've learned a lot of patience.
Now I'm a freshman at Helsinki University at age 33 and I've noticed that I still have terrible study skills. This stresses me out and bangs on my self-esteem quite a bit, and I'm afraid I'm wasting my savings and inheritance in being generally a sucky human being and a stupid student.
However, this too shall pass. Can't be helped, can't be stopped, everything shall pass. Things go right and things go wrong and eventually nothing matters. All I can do is get on with my life.
And looking at it, it's a pretty good life right now. I'm not sure when that happened, I just know that somehow I managed to actually do some right things along the way, and those things brought me here. There's always luck involved, but I now believe that for the most part luck happens when you don't try to stop it. Therapy helped me realize that for years I fought back against everything that might make me happy. I didn't originally want that girl who is now my wife, I didn't want the one job I liked, it took me ages to get back to university even though I realize that emotionally and mentally I just need to be here for a while even if I don't graduate. I thought people should earn the lives they have, and I just I didn't count myself in. I wasn't people.
I am dumb, I'm weak and I'm at least as weird as everybody else. None of that matters. I can't earn happiness anyway. Because I know that I think I'll be just fine.
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I’m always amazed these sportscasters and announcers can call the game with McDavid’s **** in their mouths all the time.
Swear to the good that the closest thing I have ever had to a religious experience was when I was walking home one night from a bar and happened to stop and overlook san francisco for a bit just to take it all in. This happened to pop up on my shuffle and I just felt so calm and collected.
I have had a comparably privileged and have recently been questioning what I was doing, am I actually going to take advantage of my blessings and make my parents proud (ugh). For what ever reason, at that exact moment, it just struck me how by becoming worried about success and failure that I was actually inhibiting myself because I was so worried about the endpoint that I was giving no thought to what I actually want to do.
This rant is now over, but I have to say I wish I had the natural confidence of some people, people tell me I am smart and should be successful and blah blah. I wish that I felt the same most days.
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Just wanted to chime in and say that song is indeed fantastic.
Nice to read those sentiments, OP.
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I used to feel guilty when I thought I didn't do enough for myself and my loved ones. When bad things happened to me or people close to me, I'd think if only I did this or said that, things would be different. I'd beat myself up over events that probably I had no control over when I should just let it be, and accept what's happened but try to do better right now. Guilt leads to anger and anger takes us away from enjoying this life and in truth I'd bet that everyone we know alive and dead would want us to enjoy this life, so don't feel guilt for the past.
I get so scared about my future sometimes. Will I be single forever? Will I be able to get a career where I can support myself, let alone a family (see worry #1)? Will I have an opportunity to travel, like I dream of doing? Will I be able to stay relatively healthy throughout my life? How much time do I have left with my folks?
Despite all those worries, each day I get up and I move on with life. Each day, I take joy in small, simple things like a good cup of coffee. I focus on those around me who help to make my life wonderful (my folks and my friends). The aforementioned worries dissolve nicely that way.
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Last edited by Kipper is King; 11-07-2011 at 01:06 AM.
Mods can merge/delete this, but this is my true story and I woke up today wanting to tell it.
I'm 29 years old. I have a lovely wife, a nice business, and a kid coming hopefully.
I had an uncle who I looked up to a lot. He was a track star. Very fast guy. He helped raise me when my parents didn't know they would get twins. He died from lung cancer at 31. He started getting memory loss, he was blind at 27. I used to go to the hospital in highschool to go feed him everyday and stroll him around outside in his wheelchair. First question he always asked me? "How is your mom (His sister). How is your brother?" Never about himself.
I lost my niece when she was 2 years old. Slept on her stomach and suffocated herself.
I lost a good cousin to suicide over the dumbest thing.
I lost my aunt to cancer.
I lost my grandma last year due to complications in hip surgery never got to say goodbye.
I lost my father to complications with diabetes at 49 when I was 19. Unexpected.
The point of my thread is that I went through all of that and I survived. It made me stronger. I am so motivated today.
It's easy to say, but don't ever get de-motivated. There is always a will and a way.
Keep your head up and always look at the positives in your life.
I feel very bad for what you have gone though.
I could use some of this good mojo.
I am a 32 year old male.
I have had 3 heart attacks and 2 strokes in my life. I guess they call them mini strokes when you catch them early enough to prevent permanent damage, but all the same. 3 separate conditions I was born with. Not lifestyle.
I graduated top of my high school, I had a bright future. I was a hard worker considering I had surgery since the time I was 5 with no anesthetic. They couldn't risk stopping my heart. I know what pain is. And by that, I know how to put in a hard days work. My body just doesn't work they way a healthy persons would.
I had my first mini stroke at 16, I had my first full on heart attack at 20.
Because I can walk, because I refuse not to stay lying down, I have been called healthy enough not to qualify for benefits, yet I'm too sick to get hired by many places now.
I look at Occupy Wall Street, I look at Occupy Calgary, and I say, yeah I get that.
There are people that truly want to. But simply cannot.
We are not lazy. We are not stupid. In fact, the sheer fact of being here makes us more hard working than most of you.
But yet people slip through the cracks.
NEVER EVER give up! We are here for a reason!
Last edited by Daradon; 11-07-2011 at 04:36 AM.
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__________________ "In brightest day, in blackest night / No evil shall escape my sight / Let those who worship evil's might / Beware my power, Green Lantern's light!"
