Anyone here in their 30's and still single? But want marriage?

[Sainters7]

Originally Posted by BBQorMILDEW

I'm 29 and I totally get what you're saying. Next week, I'll be in Mexico for my buddies wedding. I am sadly, the last one of my friends to get married. Is it a bad thing? Well, in ways, yes... I don't get invited to the "couples functions" since I got single.

Oh well..

Just wondering...what the heck is a "couples function" anyway? I'm pretty much your age, and have been dating my girl for 5 years now. And never once have I ever been to a couples function, I don't even know what that is. If the girl told me one day we were going to some party where only couples were allowed, I'd probably blow my head off, that sounds horrible. To quote LCK, I'd pretty much be praying for a bomb to drop on the house and take us all out of our misery.

[Gundo]

How many of you in this thread have now made arrangements to we'd each other at 50.......... Don't be shy now we won't judge.

[TorqueDog]

I'm 26 and I thought I'd be married by now.

But I'm not. And that's okay. Hell, the way I'm going, I probably won't be married by the time I'm 30 either. And that's also okay.

I'd rather get married because it feels like the right choice and not because I feel like I should be. I consider myself fortunate I have the option to be single, unlike a lot of people I went to high school with who got married because they got knocked up/knocked someone up. I already know that two of those marriages have ended in messy divorces.

[Sainters7]

As for the OP, I wouldn't sweat it man. I'm happy with my girl and I'm sure she's the one, but if for some reason something happened and we broke up, I think I'd happily embrace life bachelorhood. "Ya ya you're just saying that because the fantasy of being single and not getting hassled by her sounds appealing". No, really, I'd be fine with it. Before her, I was pretty much hopelessly single for 3 years. And by that I don't mean going to the bars hooking up & having fun, I mean single. Think in all that time I had maybe 3-4 dates and a couple random hookups, that was it. And I was perfectly happy.

Frankly I think being in a relationship is overrated. It's great if you can find someone, but I really don't see whats so bad about being single (besides being nagged at by idiots in relationships who think everyone needs to have someone to be happy). I'd much rather be single than force the issue and be with someone just for the sake of not being alone, that's how crappy marriages happen, and also probably why the divorce rate is so high.

Single's great, you can do what you want when you want, watch as much sports as you want, go out with the guys when you want (if anyone of em haven't been sucked in by the succubus)...I really don't see what's so bad about it. Just give me a date every 3-4 months or so where you get a touchdown and I'd be more than happy.

[RedCoffee]

I'm 35 and single. Sometimes I think about it, especially when I go to family gatherings or weddings. I mentioned in the "Stuff That Makes You Feel Old" Thread that I recently went to a wedding and all the single girls ignored me and a couple of married ones grabbed me so that was a sign.

I see girls who fall head over heels over guys but nobody ever loved me that much.

[CaptainCrunch]

Love is a lie

[username]

Trust me, you're better off not getting married before your 30. I got married to a girl I met just out of university and it didn't end well. In fact, my marriage lasted about a month. Since that time I've had without question the best 4 years of my life. I know too many people from my high school that got married young and are now divorced. It's almost like you need to enjoy yourself, have some freedom and know what it is that you want from life before you get hitched. If you've had a chance to do all that then I believe it's time that a person should start looking for a wife. IMO it's at that point where you can actually say that you know what you want in a girl.

I know way too may people that married before young because society either said marriage was the next step or they were pressured into it. It's just a recipe for a miserable life.

In my opinion, you're in great shape. Don't rush meeting a girl because you're going to end up with someone that may not make you happy. Imagine how that would work for you if you ended up meeting someone, married them just because you felt you should and subsequently got divorced a year or two later. Where would that put you in terms of age and having a family? You'd be 35-37 and single.

It will happen, just don't obsess over it every day.

[CaramonLS]

Girls can smell the desperation.

[mikey_the_redneck]

Originally Posted by RedCoffee

I'm 35 and single. Sometimes I think about it, especially when I go to family gatherings or weddings. I mentioned in the "Stuff That Makes You Feel Old" Thread that I recently went to a wedding and all the single girls ignored me and a couple of married ones grabbed me so that was a sign.

I see girls who fall head over heels over guys but nobody ever loved me that much.

Go on......

[RedCoffee]

Originally Posted by mikey_the_redneck

Go on......

That's it... they're married. They wanted someone to dance with cause their husbands were drunk in the other corner.

[4X4]

Oh look. Option84 is back with a new question...

Well, my answer is that perhaps you need to stop worrying about women being gold diggers and work a bit harder. Women aren't gold diggers, they are just more attracted to men who have proven that they can provide. You don't need to have a hundred grand in the bank to land a nice girl, you just need to be capable of eventually having a bank account.
And when you really think about it, why is it a big deal if girls want that? Us guys can automatically qualify or disqualify a girl without even seeing her head, let alone talking to her, so if a girl wants a certain quality in a guy, I don't think it's unreasonable.
Maybe your perception of women being gold diggers is more a reflection of your lack of earning potential, or maybe your hang up on your own money. If you have a lot of money and you're worried that girls only like you because of your bank account, just remind yourself that if she was a big fat fatty, you wouldn't be banging her either, so you're even.
And if it's because you're broke, well, stop smoking pot and posting on CP and go get your ass to work, and maybe a nice girl will want to come home with you.

[bradster57]

It doesn't matter if you get married at 20 or 40 or 60... If you find the right girl, it will work. You'll know.

[boogerz]

[Flashpoint]

Originally Posted by Cluelessboy

Hi I ask this because usually when someone is in their 30's, theyre in the process of getting married and having kids, starting a family (if not already). Im almost 31 and have been single for 2.5 years now (I wont get into that right now, but im finding it very difficult to meet a nice woman in this city, for example, one whos not a gold digger).

I think I see the problem.

No, really. If that is your attitude when you are out dating, you're going to have problems. You're going to get out of dating, whatever emotions and attitudes you're willing to invest into it.

And ask yourself honestly - do you really believe there aren't a plethora of women in Calgary who are good, honest, caring women looking for companionship? Far more numerous then there are "gold diggers"?

You need to put yourself out there, and expect you're going to get back exactly what you give out.

Setting a "goal" of being married by 30 seems pretty short sighted to me. You should have a goal of being married when you meet someone you want to spend the rest of your life with, not on some pre-determined timeline.

(Unless you want your wife to have 9 kids before she's too old or something).

I used E-harmony, and met my wife when I was 34. She was 37. We've gotten along like a house on fire ever since. There was no secret to it. We just needed to meet, and be honest and open with each other.

So, no, you don't need to worry that you aren't married yet. I can guarantee there is a perfect woman for you out there looking just as hard for you as you are for her.

Make sure you're in the right mindset on the day you meet her!

[Flashpoint]

Originally Posted by WilsonFourTwo

2. Of the people I know that have gotten divorced (sadly, many of them), the majority of them got married in their early-to-mid-twenties. Generally speaking, those who got married later on appear (to me) happier. I assume that this has to do with maturity and life experience.....two things that I'm sure help sustain a strong and healthy marriage.

That seems to be really true. I think about what a little immature d-bag I was when I was in my 20's, and I can't imagine anyone would stick around being married to that guy.

You grow so much as a person, 5 years later most people are completely different beings. Your 30's seem to be when you really stabilize and get comfortable with who you are.

[CaptainCrunch]

Marriage

Pros

1) Its nice to come home to somebody that loves you with all of their heart
2) Great sounding board when things go crappy at work or whatever
3) The whole collaborative partnership thing
4) Two incomes
5) You know that your going to get sex (see cons)
6) balance
7) Possibility of kids (see cons)
8) Your house looks a little nicer
9) sharing body heat on a cold night
10) Sharing experiences with someone

Cons

1) You have to go home to someone else thats living in your space
2) Yeah try using her for a sounding board and she'll try to top your problems
3) You eventually become a junior partner in the arrangement
4) Oh she's a shopaholic, but gets pissed off when you buy a $10.00 hammer
5) She will eventually crash your car, and its your fault
6) Balance, sure, but there will be a lot of days when you come home and ittttssss all about her, and your a ####### who doesn't listen, and you seeing her in bed with another man is a complete misunderstanding because her chiropractor does house calls and her back hurts for carrying your worthless carcass through this marriage
7) Sex . . . yeah once a month of 5 minutes of missionary because she's tired, and kiss hummers and anything else goodbye because she didn't really like doing that when you were dating. Oh and she's too tired for sex because of the work and the kids, and yeah she's gained 60 pounds, but would it hurt you to tell her that you love her once in a while, and your not exactly svelte anymore.
8) Shared housework, and somehow your the one cleaning the toilets.
9) Sharing the body heat means that the covers belong to her, oh and anyone that tells you that woman don't let go massive smelly farts is completely lying, I'm talking tears to the eyes here gentleman.
10) Kids are the 16 year countdown to the destruction of your car, and they're small, and needy and they're money vacuums, and just wait until your not really dad anymore but that ####### who doesn't understand how hard it is to be a teenager, and get out of my room.
11) Shared vacation means that you go somewhere cool and never leave the hotel, not because your having sex, but because your too exhausted for the other 50 weeks of your life. And one day your looking at that woman that used to be so pretty and funny and energetic and now you're waiting for her to order you to be frozen in carbonite, and she looks at you and remembers when you played sports all the time, and could see your feet and could give a crap about shaving on the weekend and she sees ralph Cranston.

Any questions?

[Traditional_Ale]

I once nearly got married, and then the E wore off.

[Ozy_Flame]

I'm 28 and I'm finding I get more sex with my girlfriend I've had for six months now. Unfortunately I got crazier, more interesting sex when I was single.

Also, my wallet was heavier when I was single.

And I could play NHL 12 and FIFA 12 more when I was single.

Sigh.

[kirant]

Originally Posted by Ozy_Flame

I'm 28 and I'm finding I get more sex with my girlfriend I've had for six months now. Unfortunately I got crazier, more interesting sex when I was single.

Also, my wallet was lighter when I was single.

And I could play NHL 12 and FIFA 12 more when I was single.

Sigh.

I'm 19. This is a deal breaker for me and marriage

[Locke]

Hell, I've been dating the same girl for 2 and half years and sometimes it seems like I have to broker an exchange every time I want to watch hockey.