should kids be rewarded/praised just for participating?

[burn_this_city]

Originally Posted by Byrns

I'm more impressed the kid can stand on those gimpy legs.

A feat deserving of a ribbon.

[troutman]

Children are competitive from an early age - I'm sure you have seen 3 and 4 year olds cheat at board games, and have tantrums then they lose. To want to win is a natural instinct. We have to learn how to accept losing.

[CaptainCrunch]

My nephew tried to convince me in a chess game that because his king was imobilized, that the game was a tie.

I gave him the "WTF" look followed by a "War can never be a tie" then I threw his king into the fireplace to watch it burn.

[CaptainCrunch]

Originally Posted by Cowperson

At the century-old Priddis & Millarville Fair, where multiple generations of children grew up competing for precious Fair ribbons, one older family matriach recently told me: "It was the place where we learned to lose gracefully."

Not all the valuable lessons in life come from winning.



Cowperson

Probably not the best picture, that kid looks like he's gong to become his generations greatest serial killer.

[flamesfever]

Originally Posted by IliketoPuck

Let me preface my comment by saying that I am not against participation awards for younger kids, as I agree it is very beneficial for them to be supported and praised at a young age.

Where I start to take issue is when mediocrity is accepted, or for example when parents are told their children should be held back a grade, yet the parents force their kids into the next grade, where the cycle of mediocre achievement will continue because they didn't learn the acceptable skill set to allow them to succeed, but were told "you tried, you failed, no worries, no consequences."

The real world doesn't work like that.

I think you make a good point, and wonder if there hasn't been too much effort in the past 20 years to remove all or most competition from the lower grades. I support the idea of rewarding participation, but believe a reasonable level of competition in the lower grades is beneficial.

As for failing students, I recall my wife saying of all the kids she failed (She forgets how many - in grades 1 and 2), only one child failed to benefit from the experience. It can often mean the difference between going through school in the top half of the kids vs the lower half.

[Barnet Flame]

I think it is important to reward kids when they try - when they make an effort. For me, if you give it your best and your teammates can rely on you to do that, well it means more to me than someone with bundles of talent who lets a lot of it go to waste.

[aaronck]

It's funny, I spent some time with a kid like this recently. Every game we played, down to a round of Uno or a race to the swingset, he would insist that he was the winner, even if he lost or wasn't even close. It's was no problem when it's him and his parents, but all the other kids around were like WTF? School's gonna hit him hard I think, reality can be tough when you discover you're not as great as your mom says you are

[Barnet Flame]

Originally Posted by CaptainCrunch

I don't think kids are stupid. When we were growing up we had mandatory fitness tests where you could win gold, silver bronze and participant ribbins. We all know that participant was a light back hand to the face.

I think the thing that drives me bonkers is that they do seem to drive the concept of yeee haw for participation past the age that kids should actually be trying to compete and trying to win.

Its just like the movement to not keep score.

I learned more from getting my a%% handed to me then winning all the time. If you don't get those valuable lessons, i think you lose any and all reason to strive and push. You can't except the whole "Oh well, I was there and I tried", trying is great, but part of winning and losing is improvement.

Part of winning and losing is learning how to be gracious in victory and defeat.

[CaptainCrunch]

Those are the kids that grow up to go on American Idol or you think you can dance or whatever and make a absoute fool of yourself, and they go stomping off of the stage bitching that the judges have no idea how talented you are because your mom says that your amazing.

[Cowperson]

Originally Posted by CaptainCrunch

Probably not the best picture, that kid looks like he's gong to become his generations greatest serial killer.

He's facing the bitterness of defeat in the face of a happy opponent . . . . . . he looks a little confused as to how to handle it but, as that old matron told me, he'll hopefully learn the lesson she did at that age, that of losing with grace.

But, of course, I guess becoming a serial killer also has a percentage chance as a potential outcome as well.

I was judging at the Bearspaw Fair in Cochrane last month and they are big on "participant" ribbons for the younger age groups in particular. The primary and stated purpose is to encourage future participation.

The challenge for bench competitions at Fairs is encouraging young people to remain involved. Not everyone can win. Nor should everyone. Losing can make you put a bit more into upping the quality of your baking, beef or grains.

Cowperson

[MarchHare]

I'm not a parent and won't comment either way about rewarding kids just for participation, but I do have a big problem with the "if you're not first, you're last" mentality. Go tell an Olympic silver or bronze medalist that you view their accomplishment as equivalent to the person who finished last (not to mention the people who couldn't even qualify for the Olympics) and see what they say to you.

[CaptainCrunch]

Originally Posted by MarchHare

I'm not a parent and won't comment either way about rewarding kids just for participation, but I do have a big problem with the "if you're not first, you're last" mentality. Go tell an Olympic silver or bronze medalist that you view their accomplishment as equivalent to the person who finished last (not to mention the people who couldn't even qualify for the Olympics) and see what they say to you.

True, but even Olympians won't tell you that they're all that proud of finishing 39th in a field of 45, and that they need to take the lesson's learned and improve.

And thats why you need to have a winner and a loser. You need to want to kick the crap out of the people ahead of you.

I'd only be weary of the whole participation thing if that was the goal of a coach or a kid going into the event.

Sports isn't about collecting ribbons, its about collecting the right ribbons.

[MacDaddy77]

As a parent you should ALWAYS encourage and promote positives for participating. This is the reason I will Never, EVER coach my own kids in anything. Let the coaches be the hardass and teach them that there is more than just being happy to participate.

I think kids should be encouraged to win and be their best, however the stark reality is only what? around 1% of all humans excell to the point of being elite at anything? Let the coaches coach and you just be the proud parent that shows support and encouragement regardless of the result.

This coming from a former coach and current parent

[mykalberta]

It depends how its sold, if its known upfront that every kid no matter how terrible they are will get a ribbon than so be it, but dont call it a sport or competition then. Call it the super funzies day.

[CaptainCrunch]

At the age of 8, when my dad came to watch me play sports or pick me up, the question shifted from "So . . . did you have fun" to "Did you win", and how did you do.

If we lost he would pull over the car and make me walk home, because rides home were for closers.

[MacDaddy77]

Originally Posted by CaptainCrunch

At the age of 8, when my dad came to watch me play sports or pick me up, the question shifted from "So . . . did you have fun" to "Did you win", and how did you do.

If we lost he would pull over the car and make me walk home, because rides home were for closers.

Bare foot in a blinding snowstorm too!!

[MacDaddy77]

Let me also say that I don't believe in getting prizes for participating. I feel the support from parents/family/friends should be enough of a reward for participating. kids don't need a ribben or medal for every damn thing they do, some self appreciation for just doing it should be encouraged as well.

[MarchHare]

True, but even Olympians won't tell you that they're all that proud of finishing 39th in a field of 45, and that they need to take the lesson's learned and improve.

Sure, but I'm not talking about that. Winning a silver medal at the Olympics is a worthy accomplishment that any athlete would be proud of for the rest of their lives. "If you're not first, you're last" is a load of BS. I'm not saying that the person who finishes 39th should get a medal too, only that there are other worthy accomplishments beyond finishing first.

There isn't a single person on this forum who wouldn't be thrilled to win an Olympic bronze medal. No, it's not first place, but it's not at all the same as a participant ribbon.

[IliketoPuck]

Originally Posted by MarchHare

I'm not a parent and won't comment either way about rewarding kids just for participation, but I do have a big problem with the "if you're not first, you're last" mentality. Go tell an Olympic silver or bronze medalist that you view their accomplishment as equivalent to the person who finished last (not to mention the people who couldn't even qualify for the Olympics) and see what they say to you.

That is far from accepting mediocrity. You are talking about people who have consistently challenged and won at every level their entire lives to make it to the pinnacle of their sport. That is the definition of success, and deserves to be rewarded.

What I am more concerned about is that by rewarding people for "doing their best" when really what they are doing is giving it a half a$$ effort, we encourage people to accept that even if they don't try hard, they will still be rewarded. That is a terrible way to teach people.

Olympians are not a fair comparison, as I have nothing but absolute respect for them.

[CaptainCrunch]

Originally Posted by MacDaddy77

Bare foot in a blinding snowstorm too!!

And always uphill