Sounds like a bit of a hassle. I'd probably jam out and try dating a gymnist for awhile.
Don't do it!
It sounds like she just needs someone to vent to from time to time much like you are using this thread for. If it seems like you are getting into arguments (I hate the term fights) about stupid stuff that she brings up, ask her what the problem really is.
After that every time is in a relationship they have to accommodate the other person, it is the nature of the game. Play nice with the sister and just find some common ground. No one is asking for you to be her best friend or anything but just putting on a friendly exterior sounds like it could help out a great deal. Being friendly is one of the easiest things to do and gosh darn it, people like it!
The Following User Says Thank You to Mean Mr. Mustard For This Useful Post:
I immediately question if you not getting along with her sister is actually the reason you fight with your girlfriend from time to time. I'm sure she wants you to get along with her, but to say it's one of the main reasons you fight seems a little dramatic. It reminds me of a buddy who's wife told him they'd probably have more sex if he spontaneously gave her back rubs. Didn't work... she just wanted more back rubs. She wrote a cheque her ass couldn't cash. Literally.
Definitely agree that you probably shouldn't join in the bitchfest when she's going off about her sister. Think about the Flames for 5-10 minutes and then give her a reassuring pat on the behind when she's done freaking out.
This doesn't seem like an overly serious problem. It's serious, but it could be a whole lot worse. Drop the guard, organize a bbq. Don't be overly offended if the sister doesn't reciprocate the kindness. She doesn't seem the type. Do your part and consider it a duty to your girlfriend.
Your GF just gave you the answer right there. It seems to be really difficult for men to just listen and not give their opinion
There was an awesome example of this on Modern Family. Phil went to the spa and got great advice on how to listen to Claire. All she wanted was him to listen (and be quiet), and she adored it.
At the Spa, Phil gets advice from the wives about the fact that Claire doesn’t want Phil to solve her problems. Phil realizes that he has been doing it all wrong.
Last edited by troutman; 04-15-2011 at 09:34 AM.
The Following User Says Thank You to troutman For This Useful Post:
My wife's sister hates me, but my wife hates her sister. My wife says her parents love me more than they love her. I get along great with my in-laws (except obviously the sister) It's kind of a messed up situation, but it works.
...
Recently, when we were talking about our arguments, etc. she said that sometimes, when she vents to me about her sisters, she'd rather I just listen and let her vent and not give her my opinion of her sisters and how unreasonable and immature they are being. Basically, she doesn't like to hear me speak ill of her sisters even though she is.
The rest I can relate to, this though is unacceptable. If she wants to vent about her sisters tell her to vent to her friends and not you. You have to take a stand with an issue like this else you will never beable to retake that relationship hill in he future.
You did make a tactical error by not at least conversing with the husband of the sister - not talking alot to her is normal (what are you supposed to say, btw I am banging your younger sister...).
I would try to call up the husband and do an activity without either woman present - maybe invite the dad as well to some sporting event or other manly event - strippers, rooster fighting, mma etc
__________________
MYK - Supports Arizona to democtratically pass laws for the state of Arizona
Rudy was the only hope in 08
2011 Election: Cons 40% - Nanos 38% Ekos 34%
TBQH OP, sounds like your girlfriend is choosing her sisters relationship over yours which isnt a good thing. Having been together for 3 years you would hope that she would have your back in any situation.
I often look at things like this as if the couple were married. If you 2 were married and your sister in law said something bitchy to you, would you expect your wife to stand up for you even in the face of her sister? The answer is yes.
If she isnt doing that, than you need to talk to her, let her know that YOU need her support just as much as she needs to have everyone liking each other.
As almost everyone i have ever met has told me "you can pick your partner, but you cant pick your inlaws" Sure it makes things difficult when you dont get along but its not the end of the world.
Sounds like you need to patch things up with the sister, but you need to talk to the sister too, about how she acts with your gf... if she doesnt listen than shes a bitch and your gf should realize this...
This is probably the best post I've seen from you. Else someone hacked Tyler's account.
When Mrs.Rathji's sister(s) piss me off, and it is often, I let her know about it. Sometimes I don't communicate it well, and it causes issues, but more often than not it doesn't cause any problems because she is a rational woman and she realizes her sisters are bats#1+ crazy from time to time.
That said, I realize that she puts a ton of effort into her relationship with her sisters, and I try to support her in it as much as possible, without letting my frustrations show too much (ie spent all day with sister X - for a really good reason usually - so didn't get Y or Z done).
Her father on the other hand, sometimes I want to string from a bridge, but that's an entirely new thread right there.
__________________
"Wake up, Luigi! The only time plumbers sleep on the job is when we're working by the hour."
It sounds like she just needs someone to vent to from time to time much like you are using this thread for. If it seems like you are getting into arguments (I hate the term fights) about stupid stuff that she brings up, ask her what the problem really is.
After that every time is in a relationship they have to accommodate the other person, it is the nature of the game. Play nice with the sister and just find some common ground. No one is asking for you to be her best friend or anything but just putting on a friendly exterior sounds like it could help out a great deal. Being friendly is one of the easiest things to do and gosh darn it, people like it!
The hidden answer: send your girlfriend to CP and she'll be set straight.
