A friend that's dying.

[frinkprof]

Originally Posted by Resolute 14

I dunno. If his friend decides "Eff it. I'm gonna go out partying", and they go have a big blowout in Vegas, that post might be quite apt.

Originally Posted by MoneyGuy

Nope, even if the friend is a party guy, saying something like that shows a lack of class and sensitivity.

Yes. The spirit and purpose of Pinner's post wasn't to present a possible situation where the friend may want to indulge in some hard living as part of his remaining time.

The spirit was to apply a CP meme that is usually used as a humorous mock-response to questions and requests which are much lighter and emotionally-sensitive in nature. It's insensitive and inappropriate.

[Pinner]

Originally Posted by frinkprof

It's insensitive and inappropriate.

Sometimes life is insensitive and inappropriate, you can't do anything but except it, on your terms.

[WilsonFourTwo]

Pancreatic Cancer got my Pops a little while ago. Same situation....sudden, nothing could be done, just ride it out. That's the uber-####ty part with some of these cancers, they hide really well until it's too late.

My advice moving forward is to acknowledge the situation (which you have apparently), and move forward. Don't dwell on the cancer, but don't pretend it doesn't exist.

Wanna make a "Special" difference? Fulfill a wish for your friend. Explain to him your situation (dollars, available time off, etc) and ask if there's anything he always wanted to do that you could make happen. It might be tickets to a musical, it might be throwing a kegger, it might be a hooker......who knows. I'll tell ya, making a wish come true is pretty awesome thing.

[Kipper is King]

Just the fact you are carefully considering how to act around him/make him feel better is a testament to what a great friend you are. You deserve a big thumbs up for sticking with your friend during this most difficult time. There are weak people out there who would abandon someone in that state because they couldn't handle the stress of the situtation.

If CP allowed for Thanks x1000000, you'd deserve them!

I agree with WilsonFourTwo's advice about investigating fulfilling a wish for him. Such wishes aren't necessarily extravagant or expensive, but sometimes simple things can mean a great deal to someone.

I sincerely hope your friend can live as long as possible in comfort and with as much happiness as he can gain. Having caring friends will certainly help.

[jd456]

I don't like bringing this up, but my mom has been terminal for a little bit now. She always tells me that when it comes to people's treatment of her, she just wants to be seen as a normal person. I had a girlfriend a couple of years ago who was visibly afraid of her and her condition. She didn't know what to say or how to act, so it was always very awkward. My mom realized it and it bothered her. I've been seeing someone else lately and she went out of her way to help my mom, but treated her like a normal person in the process. She's very understanding and didn't prod or anything. She let my mom talk about it when she was ready to and my mom really likes the way she treats her. I know everyone is different, but sometimes when someone is going through that, all they want is some sort of normalcy. Don't completely act like nothing is wrong, but the last thing they want is to see your fear of them dying. It's a lot easier said than done, trust me, I know.

I wish you and your friend the best in all this. To say its a tough situation is an understatement, but it sounds like he's very lucky to have a friend like you through all this.

[Flames_Gimp]

help get him laid everyday by different beautiful women.

have fun with your friend, help him enjoy the time has left.

[AvsJerk]

Pancreatic cancer got my grammy. Born in Scotland, and tough-as-nails...she put up the good fight until the bitter end. I'm not ashamed to admit, that I'm not sure if I could do the same. Best of luck to your buddy, and to all of his friends and family.

[afc wimbledon]

One of the proudest moments I had with my daughter was when I sent her to see her grandma (my MiL) who was close to death, it was after the divorce and I was putting her on the plane to the Peg on her own, she was 12, I pretty much drilled it into her that she needed to be all smiles and not cry once with her Gran, that she could do that after, but Granny needed her to be happy.

My ex wasn't happy with me 'suppressing her feelings' but my father in law rang me up to say thanks after.

[schteve_d]

Thanks everyone for the the thoughts, advice and kind words.

He got home on Saturday and I didn't see him a whole bunch over the weekend.

Today when I got home from work he was home and I wanted to make sure that he didn't take my lack of acknowledging it for lack of giving a damn. I essentially told him that and if there's anything he needs I am here for him as a friend. He got pretty emotional right away and we had a good chat. Even after hearing what he has to say on the subject I can still only imagine what he's going through. He said himself the emotions come in waves. One minute anger, the next helplessness, maybe next guilt, sadness and the list goes on.

He is going to move out and head to Calgary to be closer to family as quickly as possible; he has kids in Lethbridge from a previous marriage.

Originally Posted by FlamesAddiction

Was he sick for a long time before he got checked out?

That is the scariest thing about this. No, he wasn't. About two months ago he was diagnosed with adult-onset diabetes. Then roughly three weeks ago he said he had started having trouble sleeping. Knowing what I know now you can see the next couple of weeks him slipping into almost a depression but he said he never really felt sick, just "down". Finally he went to the doctor with gas, indigestion and the colour of his skin and whites of his eyes were turning yellow - myself and other friends noticed it.

I hate to say it but I don't think this will be a long road for him. Myself and his other friends are doing everything to help him move closer to family as quickly as possible. The change in his appearance in just the last week is downright scary. He's been through a lot so I'm sure some of it is just emotional but...well, you'd have to see it to believe it I guess.

Very, very scary stuff. One of those things...you just wish you could do something but of course you can't.

What a horrible, horrible effing disease.