Edmonton is No Good VIII: There's Still Something in the Water!

[Wastedyouth]

Originally Posted by CroFlames

One thing that still gets me is they still say Decade of Darkness.

They've sucked since 2006. It's 2021 now.

I know math is hard.

They are into the second decade. The first was completed when they made it to the playoffs.

[D as in David]

Originally Posted by Wastedyouth

They are into the second decade. The first was completed when they made it to the playoffs.

They're working on the score of darkness.

[JBR]

Originally Posted by Mass_nerder

Jeff Merrick picked them for the one lock for playoffs and McDavid is going to put up 90+ points. National media hyping Oilers and the presence of McDavid is enough to make the Oilers the best team in Canada.
Time is a flat circle.

All I've been hearing is how great McCovid is looking in camp. But things are never put into perspective... after all, he's practicing against the Oilers D and goaltending...

[CaptainCrunch]

Allow me


1) Connor McDonnotcare - Probably the second best player in the league. Fast, Crossover Genius, all of the defensive IQ and give a crap factor of a kumquat
2) Leon McLazy - His little German ears poke up in the offensive zone, but he does a lot of high risk plays and when the puck crosses to the Oilers end he checks his voice mails
3) RNH - Soft and squishy like a plush toy, at least he seems to care about the backcheck. But coming soon to the Oilers, the breakdown in neogtiations and the trade for a prospect with a kewl youtube video
4) Yamamoto - Had a 25% shooting percentage, and when the break ended he had fallen to ordinary before vanishing in the playoffs. Destined to fall
5) Kassian - Dirty scumbag who hides behind the shield of guardian of a code he clearly ignores. Looks like a caveman, probably smells like a dung heap. MT moved into his head, got him a big contract and then watched him vanish.

6) Josh Archibald - A good penalty killer, but other then that has a promising future as a taxi squad player with the other 29 teams in the league
7) Kohun - In the Oilers mind a 20 goal mind. Oiler fans seriously need medical intervention

8) Kyle Turris - Oilers scouting saw him busking in a subway station and signed him to a past his prime, contract due to his interpretation of the Pina Colada song

8) JP - Outstanding beer league player. Went to Europe and put up some point in flag hockey and the Oiler faithful went nuts. Played the role of coma patient in the show ER because of his flat brain waves.
10) Alex Chiasson - The definition of moldy cheese. Will eventually become the best popcorn maker in the media booth in Edmonton
11) Tyle Ennis - Once had a promising career in the NHL, then he went to Edmonton. The term Crap errr Mega Crap comes to mind
12) Khaira - Its been a trying year for the young player what with the AHL refusing to take him and the ECHL not returning his phone calls. The Oilers jumped in to grab this door mat.

[TheIronMaiden]

This year is going to be interesting because it is not how good are you compared to 30 other teams. It is how do are you against 7 teams. Matchups, predictability are going to be huge. The fact that Rai and cAvi play 30 minutes a night is going to give teams a lot of practice shutting them down. There will be no catching coaches and players off guard the 2 times you play them.

[Jay Random]

Originally Posted by CaptainCrunch

Yamamoto is not likely to see another 25% shooting percentage until her retires and plays bear league.

Now I'm picturing Yamamoto as a raccoon.

[Monahammer]

If anyone wants a good laugh the dolts over at HFloil are currently under the impression that Barzal and Nuge are comparable and that Barzal is maybe only slightly better at the moment.

[Textcritic]

Originally Posted by CaptainCrunch

Die Oilers Die!

"The Oilers, the."


Sent from my SM-G960W using Tapatalk

[Enoch Root]

Originally Posted by Monahammer

If anyone wants a good laugh the dolts over at HFloil are currently under the impression that Barzal and Nuge are comparable and that Barzal is maybe only slightly better at the moment.

First, reading hfoil is not good for you

Second, I love the irrational Oiler confidence. Each and every year it is the same thing. They believe this year is the year - then their hopes are crushed yet again. It's like the fake stick trick that you pull on a dog - you assume that they are eventually going to realize you don't have a stick and they will stop being tricked. But nope. Every. Single. Time.

It's glorious.

(Note: the dog trick is mean. Oiler fans however, deserve every ounce of punishment that they bring on themselves)

[topfiverecords]

Originally Posted by Monahammer

If anyone wants a good laugh the dolts over at HFloil are currently under the impression that Barzal and Nuge are comparable and that Barzal is maybe only slightly better at the moment.

Only close thing I can think of is slightly better at second contract negotiations.

[stang]

Originally Posted by topfiverecords

Nope, sorry. No need to get worked up. I know math is hard for Oiler fans.

With only a 20 man roster, with Klefbom in over Jones you'd be over the cap.
Jones, Bouchard, Lagesson and KoekKoek would have to had gone to the taxi squad or minors.

You couldn't dress a 13th forward or a 7th defenseman.

12 = 40.744166M
RNH-McDavid-Kassian
Kahun-Draisaitl-Yamamoto
Archibald-Turris-Puljujarvi
Ennis-Khaira-Chiasson

6 = 23.683666M
Klefbom-Nurse
Bear-Larsson
Russell-Barrie

2 = 6M
Koskinen
Smith = 79

+ IR = 6.665M
Neal
Haas

+ Retained (.75M) Buyouts (3.833,333M) bonus carryover (.341,326M)
= 82.017491M

Cap is 81.5M

The roster they submitted had 12 forwards, 9 defense and 2 goalies. 23 man roster. Klefbom was on that though. They were 3.8m over the cap with LTIR

[Reggie Dunlop]

The Edmonton Hockey Team's predicament is most humorous, in that they certainly lack proficiency in hockey playing success.

[Rejean31]

When is Dim Jim Matheson’s article coming out chastising Joe Thornton for having the gall to wear Connor McAvi’s #97?

[topfiverecords]

Originally Posted by stang

The roster they submitted had 12 forwards, 9 defense and 2 goalies. 23 man roster. Klefbom was on that though. They were 3.8m over the cap with LTIR

Why was Klefbom on the roster? He's on LTIR. You really have no clue.

[stang]

Originally Posted by topfiverecords

Why was Klefbom on the roster? He's on LTIR. You really have no clue.

Yes typo on that. Thanks

[Alpheus]

Originally Posted by Jay Random

Now I'm picturing Yamamoto as a raccoon.

Nice pic, now I feel old.

[McG]

Originally Posted by Monahammer

If anyone wants a good laugh the dolts over at HFloil are currently under the impression that Barzal and Nuge are comparable and that Barzal is maybe only slightly better at the moment.

Is the tenderness therefore on the verge of the mythical 7 x 7?

[bigpete]

Originally Posted by Monahammer

If anyone wants a good laugh the dolts over at HFloil are currently under the impression that Barzal and Nuge are comparable and that Barzal is maybe only slightly better at the moment.

I do a yahoo fantasy draft every year and a bunch of the guys I play with are Oiler fans. No joke somebody this year picked Nugent Hopkins with the 5th overall pick. It went McDavid, MacKinnon, Draisaitl, Panarin, Nugent Hopkins, Ovechkin, Crosby etc.

[Monahammer]

Originally Posted by bigpete

I do a yahoo fantasy draft every year and a bunch of the guys I play with are Oiler fans. No joke somebody this year picked Nugent Hopkins with the 5th overall pick. It went McDavid, MacKinnon, Draisaitl, Nugent Hopkins, Panarin, Ovechkin, Crosby etc.

Same thing happened in my office pool for the play in/ play offs. Guess who won an easy 200 lol

[Mass_nerder]

Originally Posted by Rejean31

When is Dim Jim Matheson’s article coming out chastising Joe Thornton for having the gall to wear Connor McAvi’s #97?

It's use should probably be restricted; I can't believe a nobody like Thornton would even dare.