You Know What Really Grinds My Gears? Now with 3x more gears...

[undercoverbrother]

Originally Posted by monkeyman

I'm honestly not trying to be confrontational, but if you guys want to spend the rest of your lives together you're going to have to make sacrifices for each other, especially when it comes to family.

I view marriage as a War between two ideologies, Husbandlandia & Wivesylvania.


Sometimes you need to concede a battle (going to thanksgiving) to continue to gain ground in the war. Conceding that battle lowers his defenses so that when you start the great Boys Weekend in Vegas offensive she is unaware and withdraws from that battle.

[monkeyman]

Originally Posted by Weitz

But why can’t he be accepted for who he is?!

If he wants to be alone so bad, maybe he's better off if she finds someone else. Then he can be who he is and they can both be happy.

[Johnny199r]

We do lots of things together. We've been together for 12 years. I hate doing things in big groups, whether its family, coworkers or whatever. If she wants to go out for supper, go ride our bicycles, go to a sporting event, go on a vacation, sure, let's do it.

Getting upset because someone doesnt want to go make small talk for 3 hours and be bored out of his mind is so strange.

She has no interest in going to visit my family, so I respect it and never ask her to.

It's like going out to a restaurant in a big group - my idea of torture. Not sure why someone would be soooooooooo happy if there was an 11th person instead of only 10, sitting at the other end of the table waiting for an hour after their done eating to leave the restaurant. That is nonsensical.

[monkeyman]

Trust me, I get it. I don't agree with your decision, but I get it.
Good luck to you both.

[PepsiFree]

If she’s upset about it after 12 years of knowing you, I would question whether you’re actually respecting her in the way she needs, and not just in the way that fits your definition of respect.

[Traditional_Ale]

I'm with Johnny199r 100% on this one. Especially after 12 years in the relationship. If he really doesn't want to deal with her family in a large group as much as he's throwing down here, I bet they don't really want to deal with him either. Its a perfect win-win.

[Jiri Hrdina]

Nothing grinds my gear more than when my PC triggers a huge update just when I REALLY need to get something done.

[GGG]

Originally Posted by Johnny199r

We do lots of things together. We've been together for 12 years. I hate doing things in big groups, whether its family, coworkers or whatever. If she wants to go out for supper, go ride our bicycles, go to a sporting event, go on a vacation, sure, let's do it.

Getting upset because someone doesnt want to go make small talk for 3 hours and be bored out of his mind is so strange.

She has no interest in going to visit my family, so I respect it and never ask her to.

It's like going out to a restaurant in a big group - my idea of torture. Not sure why someone would be soooooooooo happy if there was an 11th person instead of only 10, sitting at the other end of the table waiting for an hour after their done eating to leave the restaurant. That is nonsensical.

You are expecting a symmetrical reaction from your wife based on how you react.

“She has no interest in going to visit my family so I respect it and never ask her too”

What this means is that her visiting your family isn’t something you want to spend marital capital on because it’s not important to you that she sees your family. That doesn’t mean the reciprocal is true. Your wife places more importance on you seeing her family and is willing to spend relationship capital on it.

In the end if this is a must do for her and a must not do for you then your relationship will have an issue with one of you needing to make a sacrifice. And really these red line issues should have roughly equal each person making sacrifices.

So the question for this issue is It more important for her that you go than it is important to you that you not go?

[81MC]

I’ve honestly had some tough family ####, but I literally can’t imagine not putting on whatever face you need to and just doing the damn dinner. A couple of hours of being supportive and being there for her family event?

Yeah, I ####ing hate mowing the lawn or crawling under a freezing car, but sometimes things need to get done for the other person in a relationship. Make a fuss, complain for a bit, and then buck up, put a decent shirt on and deal with it for a couple of hours. That’s life.

F it, sneak a shot or two before you get out of the car if needed.

[Locke]

And we blame Millennials for being entitled?

"I dont wanna do something so I'm going to stamp my feet and pound my fists in complaint!! Also I want cookies!!"

People make compromises and do things they dont want to endlessly. Life is an endless sequence of compromises.

Furthermore, sometimes people have to get dragged kicking and screaming into doing things they dont want to that they wind up enjoying.

Otherwise...cool man. Work from home, dont socialize with co-workers, avoid family, order your groceries delivered, sever all ties with humanity. I'm sure that'll end well. You'll be happy, they'll be happy. Yeah, thats totally how that'll end up.

[Cecil Terwilliger]

The moral of the story is you’re a bad husband and she’s a bad wife so it sounds like you’re perfect for each other.

Or maybe don’t take terrible advice from a bunch of anonymous losers on the internet.

[btimbit]

Alright, now devils advocate, to be fair, how bad are these people? I had to lay down the law and ban my wife's family from our house

[cam_wmh]

Originally Posted by btimbit

Alright, now devils advocate, to be fair, how bad are these people? I had to lay down the law and ban my wife's family from our house

Gonna need all the details.

[Looch City]

Why are M&M’s all of a sudden so expensive and never go on sale anymore?

Like seriously, all brands of candy/chocolate go on regular sales, but the past few months M&M’s have been excluded on all sales (and decreased package size of course).

Is there some M&M cartel I don’t know about controlling worldwide prices??

[calgarygeologist]

Originally Posted by Looch City

Why are M&M’s all of a sudden so expensive and never go on sale anymore?

Like seriously, all brands of candy/chocolate go on regular sales, but the past few months M&M’s have been excluded on all sales (and decreased package size of course).

Is there some M&M cartel I don’t know about controlling worldwide prices??

I just picked up one of those Costco tubs on sale last weekend. I think the sale price was more expensive than the regular price about a year but we can't do much about inflation.

[CorsiHockeyLeague]

Originally Posted by GGG

What this means is that her visiting your family isn’t something you want to spend marital capital on because it’s not important to you that she sees your family. That doesn’t mean the reciprocal is true. Your wife places more importance on you seeing her family and is willing to spend relationship capital on it.

This whole notion of "relationship capital" is mind boggling to me. Do you really view your relationships in that transactional a way? Because maybe it's just me but... yeesh.

[Roughneck]

Accountants need love, too.

[topfiverecords]

That’s a spreadsheet I’d like to see.

[Inferno099]

Originally Posted by Table 5

Bah, just put some aloe on it.

Or S I was reminded this month as my son is in high school LA.
Gus believes winded can fix any health problem. Long time since seeing that movie

[Traditional_Ale]

Bad people? Relationship captial?

Come on, Johnny. If you can't tell the truth at least bulls**t like a man.