You Know What Really Grinds My Gears? Now with 3x more gears...

[topfiverecords]

Originally Posted by PaperBagger'14

I think we should open up an accountant only strip club and call it accounts receivable. The back room could be the luxury tax.

If it’s a strip club I think you’d be better calling it Accounts Payable

[PaperBagger'14]

Originally Posted by Titan2

Not feasible. The heliports alone would put you under. And who would you get to dance? Accountants are not exactly known for tipping!

The accountants are the dancers

[Locke]

Originally Posted by PaperBagger'14

The accountants are the dancers

Nobody wants this. I'm serious. Nobody wants this.

This is a borderline War Crime. I think it might be against the Geneva Convention.

[PaperBagger'14]

Originally Posted by Locke

Nobody wants this. I'm serious. Nobody wants this.

This is a borderline War Crime. I think it might be against the Geneva Convention.

“Ladies and gentleman, get your hands off your excel spreadsheets and put em together for our next dancer. She’s 57 years old and hasn’t shaved in a while but these assets are appreciating, welcome to the stage Hedge Fun”.

[getbak]

Originally Posted by PaperBagger'14

“Ladies and gentleman, get your hands off your excel spreadsheets and put em together for our next dancer. She’s 57 years old and hasn’t shaved in a while but these assets are appreciating, welcome to the stage Hedge Fun”.

"Appreciating Assets" -- Now that's a great name for an accountants' strip club.

[PepsiFree]

Originally Posted by Brendone

I for one hope Locke never changes. I’ll take someone that can balance levity and seriousness to keep themselves grounded over the hyper sensitive and stoic. There was nothing out of line with his comments regarding a mini van getting up to that speed in that area. Some are just trying to imply a tone that wasn’t there, based on “typical “ posting style. Maybe take a break from internetting for a while.

True, plus it’s really cool that if anyone ever wants to make a joke or try to inject a little humour into things, they know the bar has been set and religiously maintained at a painfully low level.

Really, Locke’s doing every aspiring funny guy a service.

[Locke]

Originally Posted by getbak

"Appreciating Assets" -- Now that's a great name for an accountants' strip club.

I am so sorry, I had to give you a 'Thanks' for that but I am sorry...that just sounds like a Sex Crime!

[Titan2]

Originally Posted by Locke

Depends on the company card.

Or...thats what I was told. By...a friend...yes, they'll believe that...

Most places don't take diners club anymore. And no, 3% is not a "Very generous tip." Even if back in your day you were happy to get a bumblebee. Gimme 5 bumblebess for a quarter you'd say.

[Brendone]

Originally Posted by PepsiFree

True, plus it’s really cool that if anyone ever wants to make a joke or try to inject a little humour into things, they know the bar has been set and religiously maintained at a painfully low level.

Really, Locke’s doing every aspiring funny guy a service.

Testing out new material in client meetings is risky. Better to test out all the crap here with you goofs and see what lands. Then you rock the good stuff when it counts.

[jayswin]

Originally Posted by Brendone

Testing out new material in client meetings is risky. Better to test out all the crap here with you goofs and see what lands. Then you rock the good stuff when it counts.

That reminds me of Norm Macdonald hosting the Canadian Screen Awards (sorry in advance Locke ). "You know we were worried people would record the show and fast forward to the good parts. So we have put a plan in place to prevent that from happening. We've decided to not have any good parts".

[jayswin]

nm

[jayswin]

nm edit: **** it

[Looch City]

Why are there so many cars driving without headlights at night? I was out for an hour this evening and spotted at least 5-6 cars on my route.

Of course these are the cars going like 20k under the limit too.

What the flying ####. Maybe you'd be less scared to go the limit if you could ####ing see you ####ing dimwits.

[PepsiFree]

I’ve just started assuming that at any given point ~5% of people on the road don’t know how to drive. Whether they’re driving without a license, got a license without a test, or whatever. Just a general ~5% don’t seem to have any clue. No lights? Sure. Drive straddling the yellow line? Sure. Way below or way above the speed limit? Yup. The list is endless.

[Wormius]

Originally Posted by Looch City

Why are there so many cars driving without headlights at night? I was out for an hour this evening and spotted at least 5-6 cars on my route.

Of course these are the cars going like 20k under the limit too.

What the flying ####. Maybe you'd be less scared to go the limit if you could ####ing see you ####ing dimwits.

I am kind of assuming most of them don’t know how their car works. Just leave their headlights set to whatever it was when they bought the car.

[topfiverecords]

Originally Posted by PepsiFree

I’ve just started assuming that at any given point ~5% of people on the road don’t know how to drive. Whether they’re driving without a license, got a license without a test, or whatever. Just a general ~5% don’t seem to have any clue. No lights? Sure. Drive straddling the yellow line? Sure. Way below or way above the speed limit? Yup. The list is endless.

~5% is way way too low.

[chemgear]

Originally Posted by topfiverecords

~5% is way way too low.

Gotta be at least 50%.

[SutterBrother]

Originally Posted by topfiverecords

~5% is way way too low.

I play Bingo.

• Stopped at fully green light while on phone.
• Lane change without signal.
• Have to go "most favorite way!" and are now jack-knifed perpendicular to traffic blocking everyone.
• Drifting across multiple lanes at highway speed.
• No headlights at night.
• Fully obscured back window.
• Road ragers speed weaving.
• Gassed up non-diesel vehicle with diesel and just trying to "drive it off" with massive smoke screen.

[Fuzz]

Yesterday I watched a guy pull out of a parking space and do a U turn in the middle of 10 st by Ridley's.



After that, I got the parallel parking equivalent of people not letting you off the elevator rushing in. Dude saw me walk up to my car(he was behind me in the loading zone), pulled out, went past me and pulled 3/4 across the empty spot, and attempted to park, poorly. I was now stuck, he was stuck, and he had no idea what to do. Eventually he pulled forward and bailed. If he had waited 10 more seconds I would have gotten out of the way, and there was no traffic coming at the time.

[Ashartus]

Originally Posted by SutterBrother

I play Bingo.

• Stopped at fully green light while on phone.
• Lane change without signal.
• Have to go "most favorite way!" and are now jack-knifed perpendicular to traffic blocking everyone.
• Drifting across multiple lanes at highway speed.
• No headlights at night.
• Fully obscured back window.
• Road ragers speed weaving.
• Gassed up non-diesel vehicle with diesel and just trying to "drive it off" with massive smoke screen.

You missed thinking that turning hazard lights on means they can stop/park wherever they want and block traffic.