Is there such a thing as a lover that got away?

[mykalberta]

Originally Posted by mikey_the_redneck

This is such a struggle for me. On one hand you only live once so do you swing for the fence and go for the super hot girl with the snotty, dramatic attitude or do you find a girl a little lower on your personal attraction scale with a good, giving attitude?

Its fun to swing but in the end its not worth it.

I dated 1 A+ and 1 A girl, and while it was great for a while, the B- C+ girls are much better to date (they tend not to bitch about watching 1 damn football game on Sunday and you just have more fun)

[Cowboy89]

Originally Posted by mikey_the_redneck

This is such a struggle for me. On one hand you only live once so do you swing for the fence and go for the super hot girl with the snotty, dramatic attitude or do you find a girl a little lower on your personal attraction scale with a good, giving attitude?

I think that swinging for the fences for the super hot girl would only make sense if you measured your life soley based on the quality of looks in the women you date/do. Personally other things in life take priority and having a mate that allows one to do those things would be more optimal. Of course finding the hottest girl within those constraints would be a secondary priority.

[Russic]

Originally Posted by mikey_the_redneck

This is such a struggle for me. On one hand you only live once so do you swing for the fence and go for the super hot girl with the snotty, dramatic attitude or do you find a girl a little lower on your personal attraction scale with a good, giving attitude?

Not even a question in my opinion. Enormously hot girls are kind of like clowns. They're fun to gawk at, but as soon as they open their mouths it gets a little uncomfortable. Good looks can sustain a relationship for a few months, but if there isn't any substance beyond that you're screwed (and not in the fun way you were months prior).

[FanIn80]

Originally Posted by mikey_the_redneck

...or do you find a girl a little lower on your personal attraction scale with a good, giving attitude?

Personally, I prefer the girls that give good attitude.

[mariners_fever]

Originally Posted by GirlySports

YUP! But he's Asian too and so is his wife.

pic-ture!
pic-ture!
pic-ture!

[octothorp]

Originally Posted by mikey_the_redneck

Someone raised the point about women marrying the rich guy and having kids with the studly handsome guy on the side. I read about this in a book, between 10-15% of us have a different father than we think. Of course the feminist dominated media would never expose this, because women would look bad! You won't see it on Oprah. This is a problem in the medical community for obvious reasons.

Small point here in a solid post, but how does that fact reflect poorly on women? I mean, it's not like these s are the result of women getting it on with other women; it's a man and woman committing adultery, and that reflects just as poorly on the man as it does on the woman. Unless you hold by the theory that these 10 to 15% of women have their flings with a relatively small number of men. If it reflects poorly on your mother that your legal father is not your biological father, it also reflects poorly on your biological father. And perhaps your legal father has children via another woman, which you might not care about as much, but is equally poor judgement.

[mikey_the_redneck]

Originally Posted by octothorp

Small point here in a solid post, but how does that fact reflect poorly on women? I mean, it's not like these s are the result of women getting it on with other women; it's a man and woman committing adultery, and that reflects just as poorly on the man as it does on the woman. Unless you hold by the theory that these 10 to 15% of women have their flings with a relatively small number of men. If it reflects poorly on your mother that your legal father is not your biological father, it also reflects poorly on your biological father. And perhaps your legal father has children via another woman, which you might not care about as much, but is equally poor judgement.

Women get away with murder in our culture. If you look at how popular media regards men these days(Oprah), you hear that "men are cheaters and dogs" etc, when in fact the stats between male and female infidelity are closer than you think. The kitty cats like to play when hubby is away.

[I_H8_Crawford]

Originally Posted by mikey_the_redneck

Someone raised the point about women marrying the rich guy and having kids with the studly handsome guy on the side. I read about this in a book, between 10-15% of us have a different father than we think. Of course the feminist dominated media would never expose this, because women would look bad!

Reminds me of Chris Rock:

Who lies more - women or men?

Men lie the most, women tell the biggest lies.

A man lies like this "me? I'm over at Jimmy's not at the strip club"

A woman lies: "It's your baby"

[I_H8_Crawford]

Originally Posted by GirlySports

YUP! But he's Asian too and so is his wife.

Originally Posted by GirlySports

He was tall...

Hmmm... one of these things doesn't add up...

I kid! I kid!

[Traditional_Ale]

Originally Posted by octothorp

Small point here in a solid post, but how does that fact reflect poorly on women? I mean, it's not like these s are the result of women getting it on with other women; it's a man and woman committing adultery, and that reflects just as poorly on the man as it does on the woman. Unless you hold by the theory that these 10 to 15% of women have their flings with a relatively small number of men. If it reflects poorly on your mother that your legal father is not your biological father, it also reflects poorly on your biological father. And perhaps your legal father has children via another woman, which you might not care about as much, but is equally poor judgement.

Its in their genetics. Women want the super-buff alpha-male for the sperm, but a stalwart family oriented pacifist for the father.

[flip]

Originally Posted by Traditional_Ale

Its in their genetics. Women want the super-buff alpha-male for the sperm, but a stalwart family oriented pacifist for the father.

This is why women are attracted to the a-holes and then go for the good guys later in life when their biological clock start ticking.

[Flames in 07]

Originally Posted by GirlySports

When I was in University (6-7 years ago) I had this major crush on a guy. He was tall, handsome, man of my dreams So I got to know him a bit and gave him many many hints but he didn't react. Then one day I got up the courage and finally just admitted that I liked him. But he wasn't interested. I tried a few more times but still he wasn't interested. So I gave up.

On Saturday I was at my hairdressers waiting and he walks in the door. Wearing a suit and looking more mature and hotter than I remember him.
I tried to not noticed but he saw me right away and said hi.
The next part is not nice of me to say but he introduced me to his wife who was short, fat and ugly. He tried to carry on with the conversation, asking how I was doing, if I was married, what job I'm doing etc..but by now I was too flustered and upset. I went up to the hairdresser (who I have known forever) , rescheduled for Sunday, and left immediately.

Today I'm still upset about that. I'm not that beautiful but I know I'm better than THAT.

Any other girls (or mostly guys on here) ever have an experience like this? Or am I wrong to be this upset over it?

That may be, but my money is on the fact that she isn't as shallow as you. That's awful, and frankly he made the right choice. Seriously, I don't think you have much hope if you are upset that he married someone who is uglier than you.

[BuzzardsWife]

you sound bitter and bit 'crazy'..maybe he sensed that..not to mention judgemental! i remember this super cute guy in school..he always dated the less fortunate looking girls..maybe it made him feel superior to them? i dunno..but he purposely seeked them out..once you get older though you realize looks matter less and less and being compatible is much more important

[Cawz]

Originally Posted by mikey_the_redneck

This is such a struggle for me. On one hand you only live once so do you swing for the fence and go for the super hot girl with the snotty, dramatic attitude or do you find a girl a little lower on your personal attraction scale with a good, giving attitude?

If youre young and thinking short term, you go for the super hot girl. Theyre fun.

Just hold out for a super hot girl with a good giving attitude. Theyre out there. They are just looking for men who will make the effort.

[octothorp]

Originally Posted by mikey_the_redneck

Women get away with murder in our culture. If you look at how popular media regards men these days(Oprah), you hear that "men are cheaters and dogs" etc, when in fact the stats between male and female infidelity are closer than you think. The kitty cats like to play when hubby is away.

Why would the stats be closer than we think? Or rather, why would anyone ever think that the stats aren't close? Every time a female commits a heterosexual infidelity, a male commits a heterosexual infidelity. The stats are by definition 50/50. Nobody can honestly suggest that any infidelity statistics reflect poorly on women, and nobody can honestly suggest that infidelity statistics reflect poorly on men. I don't know, if the feminist-controlled media is as bad as you say it is (and I've never watched more than five minutes of Oprah, so I have no idea), I'd imagine that they'd latch onto these stats and try to spin them to blame the male partner in an infidelity, rather than try to suppress the stats.

[SebC]

Originally Posted by octothorp

Why would the stats be closer than we think? Or rather, why would anyone ever think that the stats aren't close? Every time a female commits a heterosexual infidelity, a male commits a heterosexual infidelity. The stats are by definition 50/50.

Only if both are in a relationship. If a married woman has an affair with a single guy (or vice-versa), one of them is being unfaithful, one of them is not. Not saying that both aren't doing something morally wrong, but only one is cheating on a partner.

[Machiavelli]

Originally Posted by SebC

Only if both are in a relationship. If a married woman has an affair with a single guy (or vice-versa), one of them is being unfaithful, one of them is not. Not saying that both aren't doing something morally wrong, but only one is cheating on a partner.

After reading octothorp's post, I was going to respond with pretty much exactly what you posted.

Also, the single guy may not know that the married woman is in fact married.

[RougeUnderoos]

Originally Posted by mikey_the_redneck

Women get away with murder in our culture. If you look at how popular media regards men these days(Oprah), you hear that "men are cheaters and dogs" etc, when in fact the stats between male and female infidelity are closer than you think. The kitty cats like to play when hubby is away.

Who thinks the "stats" of infidelity aren't close? As someone else pointed out, the numbers must necessarily be pretty similar.

And does Oprah really bang on the "men are cheaters and dogs" drum? I would guess the bulk of Oprah's audience is married women.

[octothorp]

Originally Posted by SebC

Only if both are in a relationship. If a married woman has an affair with a single guy (or vice-versa), one of them is being unfaithful, one of them is not. Not saying that both aren't doing something morally wrong, but only one is cheating on a partner.

So the argument is that married women are sleeping with unmarried men more than married men are sleeping with unmarried women? I have no professional opinion here, but it seems to me that this would be fairly equal, or if anything, reversed.

[SebC]

Originally Posted by octothorp

So the argument is that married women are sleeping with unmarried men more than married men are sleeping with unmarried women? I have no professional opinion here, but it seems to me that this would be fairly equal, or if anything, reversed.

Admittedly, it's not very scientific, but this study (by Durex and reported in the British Sun) says that women cheat on the "lovers" (not husbands) more than men.

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage...ticle77126.ece