Mating Season Over - or on going

[T@T]

Originally Posted by calf

Congrats FA!

For the other dads out there: We're 3 weeks new parents now, and our boy has started non-stop crying for a few hours right before what should be bedtime. Any pro-tips?

[Bill Bumface]

Congrats surferguy! Our story was similar two weeks ago. I had no idea they could pump water back into the womb

C-sections are messed up. I really wish they explained how messed up they are. My wife was showing symptoms of PTSD after. I can't believe some people elect to have them. All is much, much better now already though.

Plus you get the good news of getting up every single time to bring the baby to your wife all night for a couple weeks while she heals up from major surgery!

It does score you a ton of points though. I exchanged mine this week for buying a new bike.

Overall being a parent is awesome so far.

[JiriHrdina]

Originally Posted by calf

That sounds like my guy (born July 27) to a tee. Hadn't thought of the stomach churning...that is a great tip.
Thanks!

Yeah he could have some built up toots that he needs help unleashing. There are some easy and gentle stomach massages you can do to help push those out - and bring his knees gently up to his stomach. At 3 weeks though - it might just be something you need to let pass.

[JiriHrdina]

Originally Posted by Bill Bumface

Congrats surferguy! Our story was similar two weeks ago. I had no idea they could pump water back into the womb

C-sections are messed up. I really wish they explained how messed up they are. My wife was showing symptoms of PTSD after. I can't believe some people elect to have them. All is much, much better now already though.

C-sections are tough - but things can go quite wrong with regular deliveries too. Really I think it is about getting mom and child through it with the best outcome for both.
My wife had an emergency c-section too - after our daughter's heart rate started to fall. Scary stuff.
And good on you for watching for PTSD signs - people don't realize how serious that can get. Part of dad's job is to make sure mom is doing OK too.

[Bill Bumface]

Originally Posted by JiriHrdina

C-sections are tough - but things can go quite wrong with regular deliveries too. Really I think it is about getting mom and child through it with the best outcome for both.

Agreed 100%. They save tons of lives I just can't imagine electing to have one voluntarily.

The doctor said they currently believe PTSD after traumatic birth experiences is very under diagnosed and way more common than was thought, for either traditional or C-sections deliveries.

Proof intelligent design does not exist:

-the inherent weakness of the human knee
-the way childbirth works for us

[surferguy]

What kinds of signs should I be on the lookout for? Can't say I am familiar with PTSD

[vanisleflamesfan]

I would just like to say that, every single one of you new parents are the single greatest person in the world. Additionally, your child is the single greatest child in the history of the human race.

Please pay no attention to the FACT that 40,000 people give birth every single day. YOU are the most important human ever and YOUR CHILD is the most important child ever.

[FlamesAddiction]

Originally Posted by JiriHrdina

C-sections are tough - but things can go quite wrong with regular deliveries too. Really I think it is about getting mom and child through it with the best outcome for both.
My wife had an emergency c-section too - after our daughter's heart rate started to fall. Scary stuff.
And good on you for watching for PTSD signs - people don't realize how serious that can get. Part of dad's job is to make sure mom is doing OK too.

I wasn't going to mention it, but it is kind of on topic to this post. My wife had a pretty serious complication after labor. Her cervix closed on the placenta and she was losing a lot of blood. The doctor had left the room and the nurses kept calling for him, but he was doing a C-section. By the time he came back, he was like WTF, we need to get her to the OR stat. Then he changed his mind and said there was no time and went right in with his hand and had to tease it out. My wife was screaming the whole time, she said it hurt worse than the actual labor. Talking to people after the fact, it sounds like this sort of thing can be fatal. Did I also mention that she did the whole labor without drugs or anything? I can't believe how tough she is.

[Street Pharmacist]

PTSD is hard to diagnose when postpartum depression is so prevalent. Women struggle to cope with how they should feel after a birth and traumatic experience these emotions and symptoms become so intertwined it's difficult to treat.

[Bill Bumface]

Originally Posted by surferguy

What kinds of signs should I be on the lookout for? Can't say I am familiar with PTSD

For her it was vivid flashbacks of the whole thing that would leave her in tears. I think PTSD is pretty complicated, and like Street Pharmacist says, women are a mess after delivery anyway. Our doctor said "showing signs of PTSD" but there was no actual diagnosis. It basically sounds like if there is no feelings of self harm or baby neglect/harm you give everything 2 weeks to settle out.

[Bill Bumface]

Originally Posted by vanisleflamesfan

I would just like to say that, every single one of you new parents are the single greatest person in the world. Additionally, your child is the single greatest child in the history of the human race.

Please pay no attention to the FACT that 40,000 people give birth every single day. YOU are the most important human ever and YOUR CHILD is the most important child ever.

New dads are nothing special.

New moms? In a first world country, they probably just went through one of the most physically and mentally difficult ordeals most humans face in a life. For those with bad pregnancies, it may be a 10 month plus period of various degrees of physical suffering. Yes, billions of people have done it. It doesn't make you individually special. It doesn't make it an amazing accomplishment and something that doesn't need to be marginalized.

As for children, my child isn't the most important child ever. They all are. Think about it, a little thing that has never intentionally wronged or hurt someone, not even told a lie. The only truly innocent form of human. All with untold potential ahead of them. A blank canvas with endless possibilities. Children are pretty freaking cool. It's crappy that some get jaded and bitter like yourself.

[Locke]

Originally Posted by Bill Bumface

New dads are nothing special.

New moms? In a first world country, they probably just went through one of the most physically and mentally difficult ordeals most humans face in a life. For those with bad pregnancies, it may be a 10 month plus period of various degrees of physical suffering. Yes, billions of people have done it. It doesn't make you individually special. It doesn't make it an amazing accomplishment and something that doesn't need to be marginalized.

As for children, my child isn't the most important child ever. They all are. Think about it, a little thing that has never intentionally wronged or hurt someone, not even told a lie. The only truly innocent form of human. All with untold potential ahead of them. A blank canvas with endless possibilities. Children are pretty freaking cool. It's crappy that some get jaded and bitter like yourself.

Its all fun and games until they crap in your face.

[Fighting Banana Slug]

Originally Posted by vanisleflamesfan

I would just like to say that, every single one of you new parents are the single greatest person in the world. Additionally, your child is the single greatest child in the history of the human race.

Please pay no attention to the FACT that 40,000 people give birth every single day. YOU are the most important human ever and YOUR CHILD is the most important child ever.

. Who pissed in your cornflakes? (Perhaps my kid, he'll do that).
Fact: Your child is the most important child ever. If more people believed that, the world would be a better place.

[Regulator75]

Congrats Surferguy, super happy for you guys.

[calf]

Originally Posted by Bill Bumface

New dads are nothing special.

New moms? In a first world country, they probably just went through one of the most physically and mentally difficult ordeals most humans face in a life. For those with bad pregnancies, it may be a 10 month plus period of various degrees of physical suffering. Yes, billions of people have done it. It doesn't make you individually special. It doesn't make it an amazing accomplishment and something that doesn't need to be marginalized.

As for children, my child isn't the most important child ever. They all are. Think about it, a little thing that has never intentionally wronged or hurt someone, not even told a lie. The only truly innocent form of human. All with untold potential ahead of them. A blank canvas with endless possibilities. Children are pretty freaking cool. It's crappy that some get jaded and bitter like yourself.

Just a small change in wording would have made that post correct. My wife, and my baby, are the most important people in the world to me. It's cliche, but everything really did change that day. After seeing everything my wife went through during her pregnancy, labour, and the recovery afterwards...I owe everything to my family.

Which brings me to another point, like Jiri talked about. We spent so much time dealing with the pregnancy, and preparing for life with a child, we totally missed the fact that it takes a lot for mom to recover from it all both physically and emotionally. Fortunately, our family support has been phenomenal in helping us out, but it's something that shouldn't be overlooked for all the future dads/moms out there, regardless of what sort of family or support you have available.