Spanking Raises Chances of Risky, Deviant Sexual Behavior - Calgarypuck Forums - The Unofficial Calgary Flames Fan Community

Cheese · 03-01-2008, 01:10 PM

Researchers have uncovered another damaging consequence of spanking: risky sexual behaviors, or even sexual deviancy, when the child grows up.

Deviants

Ok so...I wonder where "Spare the rod and spoil the child" falls in this propoganda?

Based on this article this would mean that its likely 75% of CalgaryPuckers are sexual deviants!
Hands up now...whos a deviant here?

Locke · 03-01-2008, 01:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cheese

Researchers have uncovered another damaging consequence of spanking: risky sexual behaviors, or even sexual deviancy, when the child grows up.

Deviants

Ok so...I wonder where "Spare the rod and spoil the child" falls in this propoganda?

Based on this article this would mean that its likely 75% of CalgaryPuckers are sexual deviants!
Hands up now...whos a deviant here?

I suppose where sexual deviancy is concerned the real question should be; "what exactly were you doing with the rod?"

4X4 · 03-01-2008, 01:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Locke

I suppose where sexual deviancy is concerned the real question should be; "what exactly were you doing with the rod?"

Spanking...

Ford Prefect · 03-01-2008, 01:14 PM

To paraphrase Willy Clinton, it depends on what you mean by "deviant".

arsenal · 03-01-2008, 01:45 PM

what do they consider as being "deviant"?

FlamesAddiction · 03-01-2008, 01:50 PM

I think this is all just wishfull thinking.

corporatejay · 03-01-2008, 02:15 PM

i'm far from a bleeding heart liberal but I just don't get the point of spanking. Sure a smack on the butt might be acceptable but the entire ritual of over the knee smacking just makes no sense. There are far better ways to discipline your child, all of which have been proven to be more effective. I would venture to guess the reason these "alternative" punishments don't work is because parents don't enforce them. It is far easier to spank your kid then it is to make sure they sit in the corner and stare at the wall, or take away a privilege for a prolonged period of time.

Cheese · 03-01-2008, 03:37 PM

Deviants!

CaptainCrunch · 03-01-2008, 05:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by corporatejay

i'm far from a bleeding heart liberal but I just don't get the point of spanking. Sure a smack on the butt might be acceptable but the entire ritual of over the knee smacking just makes no sense. There are far better ways to discipline your child, all of which have been proven to be more effective. I would venture to guess the reason these "alternative" punishments don't work is because parents don't enforce them. It is far easier to spank your kid then it is to make sure they sit in the corner and stare at the wall, or take away a privilege for a prolonged period of time.

Honestly, spanking if used properly and rarely is an effective deterrent. I've seen more parents that send their kids to the corner or take away a privilege who have kids that have just run wild, or have no respect for their parents discipline at all.

I lived in a household and went to a school that employed corporal punishment, and I certainly don't need some leather bound 500 lb woman stomping on my pubes and grinding out lite cigarettes on me.

In my household, we had the whole sit in the corner, grounding, and enforced chores, but there was always the thought of the belt or the wooden spoon out there if you really did something special.

Ford Prefect · 03-01-2008, 05:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cheese

Deviants!

Well now, if that's what you mean by deviant let me be the first to say "All hail our new deviant overlords."

Calgaryborn · 03-01-2008, 05:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by corporatejay

i'm far from a bleeding heart liberal but I just don't get the point of spanking. Sure a smack on the butt might be acceptable but the entire ritual of over the knee smacking just makes no sense. There are far better ways to discipline your child, all of which have been proven to be more effective. I would venture to guess the reason these "alternative" punishments don't work is because parents don't enforce them. It is far easier to spank your kid then it is to make sure they sit in the corner and stare at the wall, or take away a privilege for a prolonged period of time.

The benefits of spanking are three fold: Firstly they don't like it. Give them the option of a spanking and sitting in the corner and they will pick the corner. The whole point of punishment is to use something unpleasant to motivate them to change behaviour.
The second benefit of spanking is that it is quick. The loving relationship with your child is restored quickly. Your child doesn't sit in the corner thinking how he should change his ways. He sits there thinking your mean. He hates you until his/her punishment is over. I don't see that as being beneficial.
Lastly spanking is effective. A child will remember the sharpness of a spanking far more that a slower punishment.

photon · 03-01-2008, 06:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Calgaryborn

The benefits of spanking are three fold: Firstly they don't like it. Give them the option of a spanking and sitting in the corner and they will pick the corner. The whole point of punishment is to use something unpleasant to motivate them to change behaviour.
The second benefit of spanking is that it is quick. The loving relationship with your child is restored quickly. Your child doesn't sit in the corner thinking how he should change his ways. He sits there thinking your mean. He hates you until his/her punishment is over. I don't see that as being beneficial.
Lastly spanking is effective. A child will remember the sharpness of a spanking far more that a slower punishment.

Interesting theories, but do you have any studies and evidence to back any of that up?

I'm seriously asking, I was kind of ok with corporal punishment (the way I was raised) until I actually had a kid, and I'm not so sure it's all that great.

Not all kids respond to it either, when he was younger the spanking the hand stuff didn't end up with better behaviour, and ended up with him thinking hitting is ok.

Ford Prefect · 03-01-2008, 06:08 PM

We used spanking with our kids, but within certain parameters. We only did it between the age of 18 months and 3 years. Before that they didn't understand what it meant, and after that there were better options ... reasoning with them, suspension of privileges, etc. We NEVER did it when we were angry and we never applied more than two swats to the bum. During that 18 month to 3 year age though it seemed to work because they understood it better than reasoning or suspension of privileges. Having established the threat of a spanking, we also found we didn't have to do it very often. The threat was usually enough.

Wookie · 03-01-2008, 06:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cheese

Researchers have uncovered another damaging consequence of spanking: risky sexual behaviors, or even sexual deviancy, when the child grows up.

Deviants

but, but, but.. I wasn't spanked?

Clarkey · 03-01-2008, 06:10 PM

I would think a quick pinch of the arm would be more effective.

Sainters7 · 03-01-2008, 06:11 PM

I used to get spanked all the time when I was bad...mouth washed out with soap if I said a word you'd only hear on the satellite channels...the whole nine. And I'm definitely not asking my girl to spank me or tie me up while I suck on some Irish Spring. I don't buy it.

photon · 03-01-2008, 06:33 PM

So what about the kid who doesn't seem to value anything enough that taking away the privileges will change any behaviour?

Some things my kid responds well to (you can't leave your room until you're dressed, etc), stuff with natural immediate consequences. But more abstract things like removal of privilages (TV, video game (leapfrog stuff), putting away specific toys) doesn't seem to phase him much, and time outs I've read shouldn't be overused either. So I find it's difficult to come up with a consequence sometimes.

He's 3.75 and so strong willed (just like his parents

), it's tempting to use corporal punishment. We didn't have to use it much though so the threat of it doesn't phase him much either.

Calgaryborn · 03-01-2008, 06:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by photon

Interesting theories, but do you have any studies and evidence to back any of that up?

I'm seriously asking, I was kind of ok with corporal punishment (the way I was raised) until I actually had a kid, and I'm not so sure it's all that great.

Not all kids respond to it either, when he was younger the spanking the hand stuff didn't end up with better behaviour, and ended up with him thinking hitting is ok.

I took a course a few years back that Gary Ezzo put out called "Growing Kids God's Way". It was obviously biblically based but, he did quote from several studies.
There is really a small window of opportunity for corporal punishment. My boys are 7 and 8 and pretty much past the spanking stage. Withdrawing privileges are now more effective. There tolerance for pain is high enough that I would have to beat them now to be effective. Having said that, I'm sure if given a choice of a spanking or a loss of privileges they would still choose the loss of privileges.

Ezzo recommended never spanking a child with your hand because your hands should be associated with love not punishment. Something short and flexible was recommended. Also, you never embarrass the child by spanking him in public. Take him to a private room and explain why he's being spanked. Don't show any anger and if you are angry wait to punish him when you have self control. I always expressed sadness when I punished them. My one son would immediately want a hug and comfort after he was spanked. The other wanted to be left alone. Within 5 minutes he would come out and want some lap time.
I don't believe spanking leads to violence unless it is administered in anger.

Locke · 03-01-2008, 06:53 PM

I'm more in favour of the vicious cuff to the mind.

The behavioral modification powers of a vicious backhand across the face is never to be underestimated.

Besides, they're kids, they can take it.

Cheese · 03-01-2008, 07:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Calgaryborn

I took a course a few years back that Gary Ezzo put out called "Growing Kids God's Way". It was obviously biblically based but, he did quote from several studies.
There is really a small window of opportunity for corporal punishment. My boys are 7 and 8 and pretty much past the spanking stage. Withdrawing privileges are now more effective. There tolerance for pain is high enough that I would have to beat them now to be effective. Having said that, I'm sure if given a choice of a spanking or a loss of privileges they would still choose the loss of privileges.

Ezzo recommended never spanking a child with your hand because your hands should be associated with love not punishment. Something short and flexible was recommended. Also, you never embarrass the child by spanking him in public. Take him to a private room and explain why he's being spanked. Don't show any anger and if you are angry wait to punish him when you have self control. I always expressed sadness when I punished them. My one son would immediately want a hug and comfort after he was spanked. The other wanted to be left alone. Within 5 minutes he would come out and want some lap time.
I don't believe spanking leads to violence unless it is administered in anger.

"Spare the Rod and Spoil the Child"

I have never touched any of my children. Four kids, two of which are fully grown and two in their teens. Spanking is never an option.
Take your child to his/her room and explain why they lose their priveledges. I have never felt sadness after disciplining my children.