The choices we make...

[Knut]

This is an offshoot of the severe weather thread where I posted from the scene of a pileup on the Trans- Canada at Highway 21 east of Calgary.

Start here to go through it :

http://forum.calgarypuck.com/showthr...78#post4513278

The day started out with a poor decision. I make money on patients seen and I made the decision to travel Monday morning to Strathmore so that i did not miss a day of income. With a basement development happening, maternity leave closing in, and Christmas coming I made the decision that not missing a day of work was worth the risk. The drive was rough, but I made it.

I decided to reschedule my last few patients and left for home. This is where my next poor decision was made. I knew the roads were bad and still proceeded to travel back to Calgary. I have a relative in Strathmore that I could have stayed with, but I wanted to be home with family and be able to work the next day in Calgary.

If you read the thread posted above you would have heard about chaos that the pileup was. This is where I made a couple good decisions that may have saved my life.

When I came upon the scene (two pickups sideways across the highway) I chose to play it safe and slowly move into the ditch, beside a few other cars, the left side of the highway. I knew I would not get out again, but the alternatives were trying squeeze by on the right and maybe getting stuck in a drift near the guard rail or stay on the shoulder.

The second good decision I made was staying in my vehicle. A few others in the ditch had gotten out and were assessing things. I briefly thought of doing the same.

A few moments later a jeep came barrelling along the shoulder (too fast) and smoked one of the pickups. I would have likely been between the two vehicles had I chose to stay on the shoulder.

A few minutes after that a pickup truck, that had pulled onto the shoulder (about where I would have been), got plowed into by another truck. It then struck the back of my vehicle pushing me forward 8ft. Had I been out of my car I may not be here posting as the pickup landed where I could have been standing, beside the driver side door.

If I had gone right of the original vehicles, there was snow plow that had stopped there. A semi plowed into the back of it. The semi driver should be commended as he aimed for the snow plow (instead of cars ) when he knew he couldn't stop in time. I have a feeling the semi's horn blaring will haunt me for a bit, as I feared he may be coming my way.

I am not sure what compelled me to post this. Maybe it is self-therapeutic. I am personally struggling with how to cope with what happened. I think things really hit me when I made it to my house and broke down into tears as I hugged my wife. I then changed the best diaper full of poop I ever have.

My car is Likely done, I am sore, but Alive. I put myself into a dangerous situation but decisions during that may have prevented it from being much worse.

Please, choose wisely when it comes to driving 1000lb death machines.

[Jacks]

I wouldn't blame yourself, this was really a rare occurance, most people just assume that they will be okay on the road. Just be thankful that you got home to your family in one piece, sheet metal can be replaced.

Originally Posted by Hesla

The semi driver should be commended as he aimed for the snow plow (instead of cars ) when he knew he couldn't stop in time. I have a feeling the semi's horn blaring will haunt me for a bit. It created an instant fear as I feared he may be coming my way.

I wish more people would realize this. There are headlines whenever a large truck is involved in a crash but it is usually not their fault. Obviously there are exceptions like the drunk guy with the cement truck a few years ago. Professional truck drivers are some of the most courteous and safe people on the road.

[4X4]

I hope my posts in that thread don't appear to make light of your situation. At the time, it seemed much cooler, and not so close to possible death or catastrophe.

I know how it feels to not give too much thought to something when it happens, but then realize the possible magnitude hours or days later. I once fell off a ramp and landed on my back, with a piece of rebar sticking up from a deck piling, between my torso and my arm. A couple inches either way, and it was hospital, possibly major surgery, maybe death, but instead it was just bruised ego. It took a couple days for the closeness of that to really sink in and freak me right out.

Walk it off. Maybe take a day off just to prove to yourself that money isn't everything. Once you have a kid, suddenly all your reckless decisions are magnified. Prior to having kids, they're just you being a guy.

If you need to take something from this, congratulate yourself for parking in the ditch. A wise foresight, and something that many people (me) would have refused to do. Sounds like it payed off, while others (me) would have gotten pasted.

[pylon]

Well, you are still with us, and you had an event that has really made you reflect on what you have, and the importance of it. The situation may be bad, but by the sounds of it, you are a better man at the end of the day.

Sometimes small tragedies remind us of how grand the whole scheme of things is. A motorcycle crash really made me reflect a few years back.

Glad you are still with us, and let me know if you need any help getting your wheels fixed / replaced. I can point you in the right direction even if you don't want a VW. I have lots of friends in the business.

[Dion]

I was in a situation some 5-6 years ago where I should have died. The trauma you feel afterwards is normal and talking about it does help.

Don't beat yourself up for making that trip and be thankful for the wise decisions that kept you alive. We can't change what happened but we can learn from it and take that forward. You are alive and that's all that counts.

Focus on what's important in your life, your wife and your kid. They will give you all the love and support you need to get through this.

[CaptainCrunch]

Take one item from your bucket list and do it, screw the delay's and the work comes first stuff. Pick the great family oriented item out of that bucket and start planning it today.

Take the day off, take a deep breath, and do something for your self that maybe involves your family.

Oh and as a ps, if anyone else had a close call, you need to hunt them down and kill them to disrupt deaths logical order.

[RedMileDJ]

I have nothing really to add, except that I'm glad you're OK Hesla. I feel like an idiot complaining about the PJ concert, after reading what you went through.

Just look at the positives and know that the CP community is here to support you and provide suggestions and feedback. We all may not always agree, but I'm pretty sure we call care about each other's well-being.

[Hockeyguy15]

No point in dwelling on what could have been. Crack a beer, sit infront of the fireplace with the wife and kid and relax. All is right in your world, you get to move on and be the best husband and father you can be.

[Aeneas]

Glad you are okay Hesla.

Just to be clear, in case anyone does not know, Hesla is a great optometrist.

I had a problem that 2 appointments with other practitioners had failed to diagnose or solve. One visit to Hesla and a painful and annoying problem that kept recurring was gone.

So if his story resonates with you, go see him next time you need eyes looked at. I will be a loyal customer. I have and will purchase glasses from him.

End of unsolicited advertisement.

[Brannigans Law]

Pretty harrowing story with a happy ending. Glad you made it out ok; as I was driving around yesterday around cross iron I kept seeing all these abandoned cars in ditches and drifts and the idea of being stranded out on the highway is a nightmare of mine.

[Huntingwhale]

Glad to hear you made it out. It's funny how close calls like that affect us. At my previous job, I used to walk to work. One of the intersections I used to cross was Bonaventure Dr & Southland. Right where the Delta hotel is. I used to stand in the same spot at the stop light, music blaring in my ears, with not a care in the world. One day I came out and saw that a car had jumped the curb and ran straight into the traffic light pole, exactly where I always stand.

Even though I wasn't around when it happened, it gave me quite the jolt. That could have been me standing there, music blaring, not paying attention...and most likely be dead. From now on, any time I'm standing waiting at a stop light, I always stand between the pole and the cars, and ALWAYS face and watch the traffic as it comes by. I will tell my children and my children's children to do the same thing.

One thing I learned from my event was that your life can easily be wipped out in a flash. You wake up that morning and literally have no idea how your day will go, or if it will be your last. And that thought honestly terrifies me. At worst, it's a lesson learned to always be aware of your surroundings and to be prepared.

I'm glad you made it out okay. And I lolled about your poopy diaper comment!

[troutman]

Glad you are okay.

I was talking to a friend recently about her struggles with post accident recovery. She was hit twice by distracted drivers in the last few years. One was talking on a cell phone, the other was texting.

She is dealing with serious concussion problems (not unlike the type some professional athletes suffer post-career). She has not been able to work for a long time. It is difficult to sleep. She can't read for long or have long conversations without getting tired. She used to be a triathlete - recently she was just able to go for a walk for 20 minutes. She has PTSD and is unable to drive far. Her life was drastically altered by two reckless drivers. She is improving, and her optimism and perseverance are an inspiration.

Drive safely people, and put away your smartphones for christ's sake.

[Da_Chief]

Just saw this. Glad you're ok Aaron.

Happy Holidays!

[habernac]

I think of some of my past driving experiences in blizzard conditions and I'm amazed that I wasn't at the minimum in an accident. Instead of pulling over and getting a hotel, I did an 8 hour drive between Edmonton and Banff, doing about 40km/h, dodging abandoned vehicles. We made it, hands shaking. Did another trip on the highway you were stuck on through a blizzard to Regina. We were luckier that time, not many people on the road. Both trips were stupid and unnecessary. Lived to tell the tale, won't do it again.

Glad you're ok, Hesla. You made some good decisions there as well. Don't dwell on the negative.

[JD]

Man it's funny, you've come a long way from the black squirrel-hating, sandbag-trashing, university student Billdong I once shared chatrooms with. It's almost like I've watched you grow up!

Glad things worked out, and it can be interesting and even emotional to look back on events like this to see how close life can get sometimes. It may even seem like you survived a coinflip in your mind sometimes. It's perspective, and it's motivation to really analyze choices as you make them. But at the same time, there are lots of things that are totally out of your control. Be thankful for the things that do go your way, your choice or otherwise.

[jd456]

Glad you're ok. I had an experience kind of like this about a year ago. I was meeting some friends for roller hockey and was running late. I like to think I'm a good driver, but a little bit on the impatient side. Usually as soon as a light changes, I'm going. I was stopped at an intersection and a car was in front of me. The light changed and I could see the driver staring at her phone. Usually I honk or something, but I didn't. Just then, a truck blew through the red light. It didn't hit me until I was at hockey, getting my skates on that if I was the front car, I would've been hit or if I honked, I would've gotten the other person hit. I was pretty shook up, but I was never happier to play hockey. Its crazy how things like that happen.

[undercoverbrother]

Don't beat yourself up. Regret is useless.

Learning from the mistake is what matter and not repeating it.

Stay safe.

[Phanuthier]

Glad you are ok. Great post Helsa. Its interesting the decisions and near misses we have in life, sometime we recognize, look back and re-evaluate... and sometimes we go "what near miss?"

Life is busy, you have family, you have patients, you have holidays.... sometimes you just got to take a step back from it all and realize driving may just be the most dangerous thing you do in your life.

[AMG_G]

In early July 1997, my then girlfriend and I decided to take up inline skating. Both of us were in our early 20s so we felt young and invincible so safety was the last thing on our mind. We went out and bought some good skates and some elbow and knee pads. First weekend we went down to Edworthy park and got fairly good at it since it was relatively flat so our confidence grew fairly rapidly. The following Sunday, July 13th 1997, we went to Edworthy park to skate and had a great time. In fact we had so much fun we decided to go again after dinner. Being kind of late we opted to go somewhere closer to her house to skate a bit. As some of you might know the bike path to Laycock Park off Blackthorne Road NE is a long and steep decent.

https://maps.google.ca/maps?q=51.108...75.52,,0,16.14

We were both very nervous since we are pretty novice with the skates so I decided to go down first and if she is having problems I can "stop" her at the bottom of the hill. Down I went, I think I used up half my brakes pads going down that massive hill. None the less I made it down safely with no issues and then I signal her to do the same.

Even 16 years later I still cry as I type this. She made it down half way before she lost control and fell backwards smashing her head onto the pavement. She lost consciousness immediately and I never heard a word from her since and she died from massive head injuries on Monday July 14th. Watching her Mom collapse and basically started begging on her hands and knees, the neurologist to save her daughter's life was forever burned in my head.

Life was not the same going forward. I blamed myself for what has happened, how can I be so stupid and not get the most basic safety equipment. For sure a helmut would have saved her life but now a sister is missing her big sister, parents are mourning their daughter.

This was the summer I found out that I was accepted into the Computer Science program at U of C as well so by September I basically gave up on my own life. I just did not know how to cope. I just wanted to turn back time, get that helmut, choose to stay home and watch some tv that night...so many if this and if that in my head. To this day I don't know how I managed to finish and graduate from my program. I guess somebody was looking out for me in that regards.

I maintained a very close relationship with her family over the years. Her little sister actually works with my now wife and she kind of became her big sister over time and I am forever grateful for meeting this woman that eventually became my wife, because without her I don't think I would've made it. We became friends at school and I think out of sympathy she made me her pet project to "get me better"....anyways that's a whole different chapter.

Yeah the choices we make...sometimes there isn't a second chance to make another choice so make wise choices my friend.

[EVERLAST]

Wow...damn onions.

I need my eyes ckecked.....soon

Where can I find Hesla