Coach bans kid from playing for not cutting his hair

[jammies]

Originally Posted by Coys1882

This guy is going about it all wrong. If he wants to enforce a team unity then it should be baseball related not something of a personal nature.

This is the point some of you are deliberately not getting. Getting your hair cut is not a baseball thing, it is the coach's personal preference thing. It's inappropriate to enforce your personal preferences on people from a position of authority when those preferences have no relevance to your authority's purpose, and the idea that you should bend to the will of those above you when they dictate something that they have no right to dictate, is both wrong-headed and worrying.

Talk about how the "real world" works ignores that if nobody agreed to this kind of coercion, then it wouldn't occur anymore. There is nothing stopping you from saying "Sorry, I don't think that's any of your business" when your boss asks you to do something that is outside of what is acceptable, and if you don't have the confidence to push back when pushed you are in far more peril of ending up losing out as a doormat than you are likely to gain as a "team player".

[ernie]

Originally Posted by photon

Can you point out where I said that? If not why would you assume that's what I'm saying?

You talked about social stigma about long hair that shouldn't be present. It is present and that stigma goes into people's perceptions of what presentable is.

Having short hair does not equate to "put yourself together", there's short haired slobs that I'd never want to put in front of a customer, and long haired professionals that will have more success than I'll ever imagine.

Never said short hair meant presentable. Presentable is clearly a whole package type of thing. And fact is you'll find far far far far more successful people in the short hair, neat and presentable category rather than the sort hair/slob or long hair/presentable. And that prevelance of sets a societal norm that people are typically expected to meet.

I never said to ignore professionalism. Reply to what I say, not a point I didn't make.

But it is part of professionalism based on the norm set by the profesisonal society. No not in every industry but most.

Teaching a kid to marginalize others based only on their appearance and that that's a good thing is probably more harmful to the kid and society than teaching him that he has to not be an individual and conform to succeed, or teaching him that success and how others see you is more important than your own individuality.. if we want to hypothesize implicit lessons being taught.

I never said taking away individuality. However, there is very much a balance when raising a kid. It isn't difficult to express individuality while a the same time lining yourslef up for success by meeting the societal norms. even if they are "stupid" societal norms. That is the lesson that IMO should be taught. It isn't all about "you". Like it or not your success in life will be dependent on how you are viewed and appearance etc is all a part of that (again sad but true. It makes no sense to ignore it). Coaches aren't just teaching a game. They are part of raising a child. This is something that is still very much expected in most businesses and industries as part of looking professional, neat, put together or whatever you want to call it.

And no one is being marginalized. He is free to play baseball elsewhere. It was a rule that was well known. His parents are also free to not have their son play on such a team because they don't agree with the rule. But you don't get to complain about it. You run into rules all over the place you don't agree with be it an actual law or company/organization bylaw or societal norm or whatever and sometimes you just have to suck it up and live with it. Seems like this is an apt life lesson to me.

The length of hair doesn't make one unpresentable.

Never said it did BUT it does feed into the opinion that people have of you.

Am I to assume that if you have kids you never make comments on what they are wearing or how they look based on the place they are headed, what is expected in such a place and just let them be "individuals"? I somehow very much doubt that. It's a lofty thing to say but such a thing doesn't last beyond the first few weeks of a kid dressing themselves.

And yes team sports, coaches etc are an extension of parenting. So again if the parents don't agree then you find another team, not complain about a transparent and known rule.

Why does this man look sad? Because he was rejected in his 10th interview because of his long hair.

Industries are different. Safe to say the fashion world is not the societal norm when it comes to business and professionalism.

Anyways I'm done....it's not marginalization. It's not a ludicrous rule. It's a rule that many teams and youth organizations have. And it's a rule that makes a lot of sense when it comes to setting a kid up for success because sometimes it is important to meet the societal norms. It doesn't rob someone of becoming an individual with individual style etc.

[corporatejay]

Am I to assume that if you have kids you never make comments on what they are wearing or how they look based on the place they are headed, what is expected in such a place and just let them be "individuals"? I somehow very much doubt that. It's a lofty thing to say but such a thing doesn't last beyond the first few weeks of a kid dressing themselves.

Please tell me why having long hair on a baseball field is not a societal norm? Because this old man says it isn't?

He's not wearing sweatpants to a client meeting.

[Jimmy Stang]

Societal norms change. Coach should too. Distinguished gentlemen used to have giant curly mustaches and top hats, yet these societal norms of yesteryear are difficult to find these days.

I have seen people in all sorts of "professional" jobs with longer hair than what this coach would allow. You obviously need to dress the part, but I'll take a smart, talented, and personable longhair over a buzzcut minion any day of the week. If the success or failure of a business meeting hinges not on the intelligence and abilities of those involved but rather on whether their hair is coach-approved, it probably wasn't a good fit to begin with.

[JMN]

Originally Posted by ernie

You talked about social stigma about long hair that shouldn't be present. It is present and that stigma goes into people's perceptions of what presentable is.

Never said short hair meant presentable. Presentable is clearly a whole package type of thing. And fact is you'll find far far far far more successful people in the short hair, neat and presentable category rather than the sort hair/slob or long hair/presentable. And that prevelance of sets a societal norm that people are typically expected to meet.

The only norm is cleanliness. You're too quick associate people with long hair as slobs and unprofessional. I'm pretty sure that successful people are successful because of their skillset, and that their short hair is a coincidence. They'd likely be where they are at even with clean and stylish long hair. It's just easier to maintain and style short hair.

[Hanna Sniper]

As soon as a hair style becomes more important then the actual players talent level then there's more problems with the coach then the length of someones hair.

Too bad he didn't enforce a all mothers must measure under the 34-24-34 measurement (for team unity of course) or her son is removed from the team.

[northcrunk]

Originally Posted by Hanna Sniper

As soon as a hair style becomes more important then the actual players talent level then there's more problems with the coach then the length of someones hair.

Too bad he didn't enforce a all mothers must measure under the 34-24-34 measurement (for team unity of course) or her son is removed from the team.

Big time. I grew up playing baseball. From the time I was 4 and played in elite leagues and house leagues so I can get a pretty good read on how a ball coach is by his demeanor. Watching 5 minutes of this guy tell me he is;

1. Billy try hard who thinks the level he is coaching is a professional league or one that scouts are all over looking for top talent.

2. Reliving past 'glory' days that were never there. (maybe he almost played college ball/did play college ball but was not very good)

3. An Arse.

[MelBridgeman]

it begins

http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/nova-s...hort-1.2641525

Truro mom fights school dress code after shorts deemed too short

[Regulator75]

Check this out.

http://www.patheos.com/blogs/progres...pure-thoughts/

A 17-year-old girl was ejected from her prom in Virginia after several fathers in attendance complained about experiencing “impure thoughts” towards the teen.

Despite wearing dress code-appropriate clothing to the Richmond Homeschool Prom, Clare Ettinger reports she was removed from the dance for homeschooled teens because she aroused “impure thoughts” in some of the adult male chaperones.

In a guest post on her sister’s blog, Clare reports how one of the women organizing the dance disapproved of her dress, even after checking to see it met the “fingertip length” dress code requirement. Later the same chaperone who had complained about Clare’s dress pulled her aside to tell her that some of the dads felt her presence was “too provocative” and liable to cause “impure thoughts” among the males in attendance.

Her blog.
http://www.hannahettinger.com/####-t...post-by-clare/

[undercoverbrother]

Originally Posted by Regulator75

Check this out.

http://www.patheos.com/blogs/progres...pure-thoughts/



Her blog.
http://www.hannahettinger.com/####-t...post-by-clare/

Wrong thread, this should go in the "I don't want to live on this plant anymore" thread.

[photon]

Or is this now the interesting/strange/bizarre dress code thread?

http://metronews.ca/news/halifax/103...ons-possible/#



I dunno, those seem fine to me, are they so distracting that the boys can't learn?

Honestly I think the whole yoga pants thing sifting down to junior high would be far more distracting for guys there. I walk to pick up my kid from school and while I wait lots of kids from a nearby school go by and tight yoga pants are more common than jeans or shorts it seems.

[undercoverbrother]

Originally Posted by fotze

Those might not pass the thumb test.

errr what???

[Reaper]

Originally Posted by Regulator75

Check this out.

http://www.patheos.com/blogs/progres...pure-thoughts/

Her blog.
http://www.hannahettinger.com/####-t...post-by-clare/

"You're too hot. You're giving all the fathers boners. Please refrain from making them think about their youth which is long gone."

[Barnet Flame]

Originally Posted by squiggs96

Fun story: Andy Bilesky was a little league coach in my home town of Trail, BC. He's the only coach to take a team to the LLWS more than three times, and he did it five times. Andy required his kids to bring their full uniform to practice. It didn't matter that the temperature in Trail gets disgustingly hot and muggy in the summer, you brought your warm up jackets On one day a player didn't bring his jacket to practice. Andy made that player go home and write "I will bring my jacket to practice" 300 times. He brought it back to the park and was allowed to practice. Does this seem a little much? Maybe, but if you want to be on the team, you follow the rules. That player was a 12 year old Jason Bay, who later went on to be the NL rookie of the year.

In my opinion, following team rules, even the minor ones helps build character and respect. Of course his hair doesn't affect his ability to hit or catch a ball, but by buying into the system, you are building teamwork skills. It's similar to school when you learn algebra. You might not use algebra directly, but it helps you train your decision, thinking and problem solving skills.

I fully understand that it's not a professional sports team, but when do you learn how to act like a professional. Do you just do your own thing and follow your own rules until you make it to the majors? Why wouldn't you use the teenage years to learn how to act professionally? Even if you don't make the majors, which 99% won't, so you still learn how to be part of a team. Having fun isn't the only benefit from sports. You can learn how to lose, and win, and be a member of a team. Wearing a uniform is part of sports.



I am saying the coach of any team takes "ownership" of the team, from the bottom level to the top. When I played baseball, soccer, basketball, volleyball and curling as a kid, that I saw the coach being the one in charge. If I wanted to be on the team, I did things his way. I didn't always like everything, but those were the rules. I always felt like it was his team, and if he wanted to cut me, he could. This was not sports at the highest level. This was from the time I was six through eighteen. I took a lot of those life lessons, and they are useful to me as an adult.

There is very little to disagree with in that post. But the turning up in and wearing of a uniform cannot be compared with a rule that affects a kid's identity 24/7 and not just when he is playing on a baseball team.

[MelBridgeman]

Originally Posted by Regulator75

Check this out.

http://www.patheos.com/blogs/progres...pure-thoughts/



Her blog.
http://www.hannahettinger.com/####-t...post-by-clare/

This blogs suggest it's not all the truth
http://calliehobbs.wordpress.com/201...t-the-problem/

[nfotiu]

Originally Posted by MelBridgeman

This blogs suggest it's not all the truth
http://calliehobbs.wordpress.com/201...t-the-problem/

It's a Richmond Home school prom. 98% of Richmond area parents I know who homeschool their kids do so because they want to ensure they get taught the proper Christian lifestyle and won't be influenced by the moral decay of public schools. Even Church run private schools are too morally loose for most of these families. Honestly, I don't see how you could attend a homeschool prom (which sounds entirely goofy as it is) without expecting an extremely conservative dress code. And really, it is up to them how they want to run their show and try to continue to shelter their kids from society.