Teacher Charged with Sex Assault

[EddyBeers]

So if I follow the logic correctly, underage male having sex with adult female is ok because they have a story to tell and men like sex and it is not ok when it is an underage female because she may be called a slut?

[_Q_]

Originally Posted by EddyBeers

So if I follow the logic correctly, underage male having sex with adult female is ok because they have a story to tell and men like sex and it is not ok when it is an underage female because she may be called a slut?

Well more or less, you are correct, because that's how society works.

[EddyBeers]

Originally Posted by _Q_

Well more or less, you are correct, because that's how society works.

Huh, well there you go. What happens if the girl is one of those odd girls who likes sex, is it ok then to have sex with her? Or is the name calling (which is clearly the only negative side effect to any sort of sexual misconduct) sufficient to counteract her enjoyment of sex and still make it wrong for a 35 year old man to have sex with a 16 year old Grade 10 student?

[polak]

Originally Posted by EddyBeers

So if I follow the logic correctly, underage male having sex with adult female is ok because they have a story to tell and men like sex and it is not ok when it is an underage female because she may be called a slut?

The vast majority of men won't have any negative consequences from the experience while women are far more likely to face persecution and other negative social stigmas.

Thats the logic.

Someone said it best on the last page that each incident should be reviewed individually because a lot of the time this is a victimless crime and there is no way that in those cases, someone should face hard time.

[SeeBass]

Originally Posted by _Q_

The whole time I have been arguing about heterosexual sex between an under-age male student and an adult female teacher. The Theo Fleury story is different because it's homosexual. Not saying it's not right to be gay, I'm saying that it's difficult to prove consent when it's gay sex, ie. a man can physically rape a boy without his permission in the same way a man can rape a girl without her consent. I also conceded that 14 is too young for boys to be having sex with adults (as is the case in the OP), but the countless many other stories where a female teacher is having sex with her 16 or 17 year old students, it's not that bad. Again not that bad. Should they lose their job? Yes. Should they go to jail for 10 years? Definitely not.

I'm not for having sex with children. That's just disgusting, but a 16 or 17 year old boy having sex with his hot 28 year old English teacher is doing something most boys their age only can dream of.

What about the rest of them? Are you that pro sex with a minor that you don't wish to just see them all protected?
You know who a lot of the victims are in assaults they are the quiet one in the corner and is getting no support at home. They all don't get to be quarterback.

[_Q_]

Originally Posted by EddyBeers

Huh, well there you go. What happens if the girl is one of those odd girls who likes sex, is it ok then to have sex with her? Or is the name calling (which is clearly the only negative side effect to any sort of sexual misconduct) sufficient to counteract her enjoyment of sex and still make it wrong for a 35 year old man to have sex with a 16 year old Grade 10 student?

Originally Posted by SeeBass

What about the rest of them? Are you that pro sex with a minor that you don't wish to just see them all protected?
You know who a lot of the victims are in assaults they are the quiet one in the corner and is getting no support at home. They all don't get to be quarterback.

See polak's comment above.

Edit: SeeBass, same see polak's comment as well.

[EddyBeers]

Originally Posted by polak

The vast majority of men won't have any negative consequences from the experience while women are far more likely to face persecution and other negative social stigmas.

Thats the logic.

Someone said it best on the last page that each incident should be reviewed individually because a lot of the time this is a victimless crime and there is no way that in those cases, someone should face hard time.

So the enforcement of sexual assault should be on a subjective basis, asking each individual if it had any effect on them?

[gargamel]

Originally Posted by _Q_

The whole time I have been arguing about heterosexual sex between an under-age male student and an adult female teacher. The Theo Fleury story is different because it's homosexual. Not saying it's not right to be gay, I'm saying that it's difficult to prove consent when it's gay sex, ie. a man can physically rape a boy without his permission in the same way a man can rape a girl without her consent.

By that logic, if an attacker can prove that a woman got wet, she must have consented regardless of whether or not she said "no," so it wasn't really rape.

[_Q_]

Originally Posted by gargamel

By that logic, if an attacker can prove that a woman got wet, she must have consented regardless of whether or not she said "no," so it wasn't really rape.

How can he prove that? Honestly.

[polak]

Originally Posted by EddyBeers

So the enforcement of sexual assault should be on a subjective basis, asking each individual if it had any effect on them?

When dealing with a consensual relationship between a teacher and student who is above the age of consent, yes.

Flip that around on yourself.

Should a consensual relationship between a teacher and student who is above the age of consent automatically result with the teacher serving jail time and being branded a sex offender?

[undercoverbrother]

Originally Posted by polak

The vast majority of men won't have any negative consequences from the experience while women are far more likely to face persecution and other negative social stigmas.
e.

I look forward to reading your sources that support this statemnt.

[polak]

Originally Posted by undercoverbrother

I look forward to reading your sources that support this statemnt.

Yes, let me write you up a research paper on the topic. Would you prefer APA or MLA referencing? Double spaced okay?

[_Q_]

Man it sure blows my mind that everyone can agree that two 16 year olds can have consensual sex with each other is perfectly fine, but as soon as the female is over 18, she's a sick and twisted criminal that's taking advantage of a minor and should be locked up until she hits menopause.

[Plett25]

Originally Posted by _Q_

Man it sure blows my mind that everyone can agree that two 16 year olds can have consensual sex with each other is perfectly fine, but as soon as the female is over 18, she's a sick and twisted criminal that's taking advantage of a minor and should be locked up until she hits menopause.

I don't recall anyone making that point.

Maybe you could quote a post that says that... thanks.

[EddyBeers]

See I am glad I got on this site to find out what true sexual abuse is. Cause I saw this pamphlet http://www.phac-aspc.gc.ca/ncfv-cniv...adomales_e.pdf

and it really led me astray

The Criminal Code of Canada includes laws
about sexual activity to protect people,
especially young people, from exploitation
and abuse. The laws recognize that some
people are able to dominate and use others
simply because they have more power.
Some people are stronger, bigger, older,
smarter or richer than others. Some may
have positions of authority and trust, like
parents, teachers or coaches. Some have
weapons. Laws about sexual behaviour
are designed to protect less powerful
people from more powerful people.

and

When Jerry was 15 his father died and his mother took in boarders
to help pay the bills. When Susan, who was 20, moved in as a
boarder, she was new to town, looking for a job and she was lonely.....She invited Jerry to come into her bedroom at night, and they were
soon having sexual intercourse. This was Jerry’s first sexual experience,
and he felt quite proud of himself.....Then Susan met a man her own age. As soon as
she started that relationship she told Jerry that
she couldn’t be bothered spending any more
time with a ‘kid’.
Jerry was humiliated, and could hardly believe
that she could be so cold to him all of a sudden.
It shook his confi dence, and for a long time
Jerry was afraid to have a girlfriend. Even when
he became an adult, he had diffi culty keeping
a girlfriend because he really didn’t trust any
women.
Sexual abuse by females is often not reported or
even seen as abusive. As a teenage boy, you’re
under strong social and peer pressure to ‘score’
sexually. You’re often taught to believe that a sexual
experience with an older female is a great way to
learn about sex. You may have been taught that a
‘real man’ never passes up a sexual opportunity.
It would have been better for Jerry if he had
been able to talk to a counsellor after the abuse
had ended. But Jerry refused to admit he’d been
sexually or emotionally abused. He felt that he
wouldn’t be a ‘real man’ if he had to admit that. And
a lot of his friends believed that having sex with

I wish Jerry would have just sucked it up

I also wish someone would shrinks like this to quit "citing" supposed effects of this blessed event

The result of this abuse by a woman can be a false sense of power, inflating the boy to believe that he is more powerful than he really is. He is led into the false belief that he is in control, not realizing or understanding that he is being used and controlled.
Conversely, the abuse can also lead to a feeling of worthlessness. The boy inhales the message that “I have no value, my body is all that has value or what I can do for others.” There is no personal sense of value or worthiness.
The boy is eventually going to feel abandoned, and will likely feel betrayed. The woman or girl was not there for him in the first place. When he realizes this, then his picture of what has occurred will change dramatically. After the inflation comes the deflation from the withdrawal and realization that what happened was not about him, that he was only being used. All of this results in rage—rage about the impact upon their sexuality, rage about being used, rage about how it has messed up his relationships with other women, and rage at not being able to really trust or let anyone get really close.
It was an overwhelming experience and the boy was incapable of processing or understanding what had happened to him. He freezes inside, or simply pushes the memory so far to the background that he can’t touch it. Unfortunately, he is shutting off an essential part of himself that will need to be reclaimed before he is able to trust and heal. So the adult is left with fears of intimacy and loads of insecurity.
For many men, the most devastating blow is the impact upon their relationships with women. The abuse experience can leave them ambivalent about sex and about women. While it cannot change their sexual orientation, it will leave them deeply conflicted. Being close to a woman is likely to bring up old unresolved feelings, which get in the way of having a real relationship in the here and now.

[undercoverbrother]

Originally Posted by polak

Yes, let me write you up a research paper on the topic. Would you prefer APA or MLA referencing? Double spaced okay?

Hey smart guy, upon what are you basing that statement?

[Flames_Gimp]

wish i could have gained confidence at 14 by getting laid by the teacher!

[_Q_]

But how is Jerry's situation any different than if he had sex with a 17 year old that dumped him because she all of a sudden was into an 18 year old "man"? It's an unfortunate event, but I don't think it's abuse.

Edit: OK he's 15 so sure, it's abuse. How would that story have been different if he was 16 though?

[polak]

Originally Posted by EddyBeers

See I am glad I got on this site to find out what true sexual abuse is. Cause I saw this pamphlet http://www.phac-aspc.gc.ca/ncfv-cniv...adomales_e.pdf

and it really led me astray

and

I wish Jerry would have just sucked it up

Are you serious?

Either Jerry was under the age of consent, which means that it's clear cut abuse.

OR

If Jerry had been over the age of consent (and he might have been depending on when that incident occurred) then Jerry should suck it up. He wasn't raped. It was consensual and the boarder had no semblence of actual power over him in any way.

So now every time someone has sex with someone else and regrets it later, we're calling it sexual abuse?

Look out Undercoverbrother, you might have some charges coming your way.

[undercoverbrother]

Originally Posted by polak

Look out Undercoverbrother, you might have some charges coming your way.

explain yourself