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Old 09-20-2010, 12:16 PM   #61
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You are aware of the "breaking up with me twice" issue will come up over and over again especially in fights and you would have to deal with it the rest of your life.

Just be alone already and give both of you time to move on. I think there is too much water under this bridge.

she's not that kind of person that would throw it in my face in the future. if she takes me back we move forward. she's an amazing girl. this is why i am trying so hard.
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Old 09-20-2010, 12:28 PM   #62
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i know it may sound bad, and i do understand my mistake. both times we we're only apart for 2 months. i'm a believer that you learn from your mistakes, and all humans make mistakes. Now i 100% know what i don't have. in 7 years, two - 2 month break ups isn't as bad as someone who cheats in my eyes, and i defiantly don't cheat on her. i just need to figure out a way to prove how committed i really am.
Have you asked her to marry you in the past?

Seven years without "a ring on it" isn't exactly screaming committment.

Pushing away and then frantically pulling back something you've lost is probably a cycle that will be repeated again. You only want it because you've lost it, so suddenly you're a nice guy all over again . . . . but you won't be down the road once she's back in the house. You can bet every friend she has in the world is telling that to her right now and they're probably right. Her friends are likely telling her you'll continue to waste her life.

You're probably a decent enough chap but, if it were me, you'd be gone for good this time.

And, if it is for good this time, take some time to think about the "why" of it.

I've been married for 25 years. There's ups and downs but mostly you have to share trust and respect. You've probably lost both with this lady.

Good luck.

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Old 09-20-2010, 12:37 PM   #63
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i don't agree, i believe her friends are staying neutral, as they don't truly understand the situation. i have bought her rings in the past, and i just gave her a promise ring with my intentions of marriage, unfortunately we both just finished college/university, so i can't exactly afford to buy her the ring she deserves.
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Old 09-20-2010, 12:41 PM   #64
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You do realize that marriage doesn't come with a two month break every 3.5yrs right?
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Old 09-20-2010, 12:44 PM   #65
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You do realize that marriage doesn't come with a two month break every 3.5yrs right?
i deserve that. yes i understand, ppl make mistakes, and i had to make these mistakes to understand.
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Old 09-20-2010, 12:51 PM   #66
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i believe her friends are staying neutral, as they don't truly understand the situation.
Oh boy, and I thought I didn't understand women.
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Old 09-20-2010, 12:52 PM   #67
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i deserve that. yes i understand, ppl make mistakes, and i had to make these mistakes to understand.
See to me that's the important quote. You had to make these mistakes to understand...what?

If I was in her shoes, I'd be thinking that you had to make the mistake of dumping me to finally understand that you can't do better, and that's a tough perception to break.
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Old 09-20-2010, 12:57 PM   #68
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i don't agree, i believe her friends are staying neutral, as they don't truly understand the situation. i have bought her rings in the past, and i just gave her a promise ring with my intentions of marriage, unfortunately we both just finished college/university, so i can't exactly afford to buy her the ring she deserves.
I think your in trouble with your expectations. I completely agree with Cow.

You bought her a promise ring and then I would expect at the very least dumped her after that at least once.

There's no way that her friends are neutral, they might tell you that, but I'm willing to bet dollars that her friends are fully appraised of the situation and have given her their advice, since they've gotten her side of the story, your not going to be classed as a nice guy, your going to be classed as an ahole.

I'm more then curious about the reasons why you broke up with her, it doesn't sound like infidellity, so I'm assuming it has to do with expectations or commitment and it doesn't sound like you were standup with either of those.

In the words of the drummer in the movie Rockstar "Let the chick go"
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Old 09-20-2010, 12:59 PM   #69
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and i just gave her a promise ring
Did you happen to start dating this young lady when you were 10 years old?
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Old 09-20-2010, 01:11 PM   #70
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Quote:
Originally Posted by flames85 View Post
i don't agree, i believe her friends are staying neutral, as they don't truly understand the situation. i have bought her rings in the past, and i just gave her a promise ring with my intentions of marriage, unfortunately we both just finished college/university, so i can't exactly afford to buy her the ring she deserves.

Was this before or after you broke up with her?
Cause it's after, it's more of an "I'm sorry ring" than a promise ring.

Also, on a side note, I really don't understand the idea of a promise ring.

"Here, I got you a promise ring"

"Does this mean we're getting married, is this an engagement ring?"

"No, it's a promise ring. It means I promise to marry you, but we're not engaged"
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Old 09-20-2010, 01:14 PM   #71
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Also, on a side note, I really don't understand the idea of a promise ring.

"Here, I got you a promise ring"

"Does this mean we're getting married, is this an engagement ring?"

"No, it's a promise ring. It means I promise to marry you, but we're not engaged"
Promise rings are great - they buy you some time and make your girlfriend happy.
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Old 09-20-2010, 01:15 PM   #72
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What if you bought her a purity ring by mistake, you'd literally screw yourself.
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Old 09-20-2010, 01:20 PM   #73
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I knew of a women in her mid-thirties who got a promise ring a few months ago from her mid-thirties boyfriend.

Aren't promise rings for like, 12 year olds?
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Old 09-20-2010, 01:23 PM   #74
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I knew of a women in her mid-thirties who got a promise ring a few months ago from her mid-thirties boyfriend.

Aren't promise rings for like, 12 year olds?
Any ring given to a lady is a good thing as far as they're concerned.

Telling her what it's for, or lack thereof, is where you find benefits or problems.

Jewellry is your friend!!!

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Old 09-20-2010, 01:36 PM   #75
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Giving someone a promise ring is about the lamest thing you can do.
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Old 09-20-2010, 01:41 PM   #76
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Giving someone an onion ring, however, is a date / sexcapade waiting to happen.
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Old 09-20-2010, 02:04 PM   #77
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A few years ago I ran into an old friend at a party, I started chatting with her about life and her current situation etc.. She told me she had just broke up with her long term boyfriend but wasn't ready to start dating other guys yet because he had asked her to wait while he "just wanted to see if there was anything else out there for him".

I gave her a blank stare and asked if she was serious, she was stone cold sober and serious.

Maybe you should try that line, apparently it doesn't have a 100% failure rate.

In all seriousness though I think that the best route to take is the one you don't want to hear, be honest and up front. Take her out for diner at a nice restaurant, lay it on the table in a calm and orderly fashion and gauge her response. If you already tried this and it didn't work then there really isn't anything else you can do.. imo.
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Old 09-20-2010, 02:06 PM   #78
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I think you should give her bacon.
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Old 09-20-2010, 02:29 PM   #79
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Giving someone a promise ring is about the lamest thing you can do.
Thats not what you said when I gave you a promise ring...
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Old 09-20-2010, 02:34 PM   #80
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Thats not what you said when I gave you a promise ring...
I believe they are talking jewelry, not sphincters....
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